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The first question ever asked
in the history of the world

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was God asking
our first father, Adam,

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after he and his
wife had sinned,

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"Where are you?"

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That question
is the same question

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that God asks
every man.

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And at Mars Hill Church,
we ask that question a lot

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and we expect men
to respond to say,

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"Here I am.

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"Teach me, train me,
correct me, rebuke me,

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"prepare me to lead my family,
to love my wife,

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and to serve my kids."

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This is our vehicle that
Grace and I have a good time

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driving around with the kids in,
filled with lots of toys

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and Legos and snacks
and juice boxes.

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And it's kind of a good
analogy or illustration

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of what I'm talking about.

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Get the whole
family together.

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Mom and Dad are side-by-side,
holding hands as friends.

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Everybody is going
the same direction,

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but ultimately,
Dad takes the wheel

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and he leads the family
in the direction that God

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wants them to go,
and so he's got to do a good job

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making sure that everybody
is together and making sure

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he doesn't crash
the metaphorical vehicle

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along the way.

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So that's basically
our biblical view

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of complementarian
theology,

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and you'll now hear a sermon
preached at Mars Hill Bellevue,

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where we unpacked exactly
what God intends for us at home

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and in the church,
as men lovingly lead

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their families and answer
the question that God asks,

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"Where are you?"

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How many
of you are men?

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Okay, welcome men.

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How many
of you are women?

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Oh, if you raised your hand,
this sermon is for you.

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I think that should
take care of everyone.

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And what I want
to talk about today

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is the legacy that
you and I could leave,

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by the grace of God,
through our families

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for the service of Jesus
for generations to come.

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And so I thought it would
be fun to start with a story

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and this is a very
common story in the history

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of Mars Hill Church.

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This woman,
lovely woman, says,

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"When I came
to Mars Hill Church,

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I was not
a Christian."

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If you're not a Christian,
welcome to Mars Hill Church.

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You will be soon.

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[congregation laughing]

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"My father and grandfather,"
she says,

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"had repeatedly
physically, sexually,

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and emotionally
abused me."

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All right, this is why
we do Redemption Groups.

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This is the story of one
in three women, statistically.

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"I came to Mars Hill
as a non-Christian,

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and Jesus is the first man
I ever trusted."

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I'll tell you what, if you're
going to start with one guy,

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that's the front
of the line right there.

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Trust Jesus first.

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"Then I realized I wanted to
be married and to be a mother,

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"but I didn't trust men because
of what had been done to me.

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"I ended up meeting a guy
who became a Christian

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at Mars Hill."

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You guys who don't know Jesus,
welcome to Mars Hill.

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You're here to get saved
and knock it off.

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Okay, that's why
you're here.

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All right?

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Whatever it is you're doing,
Jesus wants you to knock it off

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and he's going to help.

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"I ended up meeting a guy who
became a Christian at Mars Hill,

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"and his desires were for
Jesus and marriage and kids,

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"and he seemed
like a good guy.

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We got married."

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We've got a premarital process
for that to help you out.

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"He's never raised his hand,
he's never raised his voice

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"to the kids or me.

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He's very sweet."

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See, we believe men
should be tough and tender.

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Somebody breaks
into your home: tough.

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Your wife wants
to go on a date: tender.

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Right?

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Somebody wants to take
your daughter out: tough.

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[congregation laughing]

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You're going to take
your daughter out: tender.

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See, tough and tender.

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"He's very sweet.

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"We have two daughters.

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Every night,
he snuggles with them."

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That's good
for daddies, too.

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It changes us.

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"He prays over them.

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"He reads
the Bible with them.

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"He kisses them
on the forehead.

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"He tells them
that he loves them.

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"He sings worship songs
to Jesus with them.

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They think their daddy is
the greatest man in the world."

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Praise God.

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"Almost every night,"
she says, "I cry

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"because I realize that
my family is changing

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"and my daughters won't have
to deal with what I dealt with

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because they have
a different daddy."

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Amen?

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Friends, honestly, that's what
we want to see happen thousands

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and thousands
and thousands of times.

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We want men to meet Jesus,
women to meet Jesus,

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to be forgiven of sin
they've committed,

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to be healed from sin that's
been committed against them,

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to fall in love.

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Some of you are single,
some of you are married,

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93% of you, statistically,
will marry at some point--

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to have a marriage that
is endearing and enduring,

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you're friends and lovers,
and worshipers of God.

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You make some babies
who grow up to love and serve

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the same God as you,
so that the work of Jesus

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continues long
after you're gone,

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by people
with your last name.

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That's what we want,
that's what we want.

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He proposed to me 
after meeting me for 2 months,

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like we'd only known 
each other for 2 months.

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Everyone was freaking out, 
like, "You don't even know him!"

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Everyone's looking at her stomach 
like, "Is she pregnant?"

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I was thinking, "I love her 
but I have no idea what I'm in for."

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No idea what to do, 
and that played itself out really quickly.

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And so it all starts
in the book of Genesis.

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Genesis literally
means beginnings.

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Genesis is the
book of beginnings,

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and there we find
God's intent for us.

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I'm going to answer
three big questions today.

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What is God's intent
for men and women?

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What is God's intent for
men and women in the church?

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And what is God's intent for
men and women in the home?

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And it all begins
in the book of beginnings.

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God's intent for men and women
begins in Genesis 1:1.

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"In the beginning God created
the heavens and the earth."

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Everything begins with God.

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It doesn't begin with
men or women or marriage

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or children or family
or singleness or any of it.

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Everything begins
and ends with God.

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Everything that is made
comes from God.

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We'll give
an account to God.

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Everyone will ultimately
stand before God.

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Everything comes
from God.

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Everything belongs
to God.

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It's all about God.

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And when we forget God,
we start acting as if we're God,

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and that's where
all the trouble begins.

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And so God exists in perfect
loving union and communion.

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The doctrine of the Trinity
is that there's one God,

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three Persons.

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They're equal.

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They're coeternal.

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They love.

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They communicate.

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They adore one another.

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And then God decides that
he would make men and women.

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And we read that
in Genesis 1:26.

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"Then God said,
'Let us--'"

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And so all the way back to
the church father, Augustine,

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we hear that
this is the Trinity.

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"Let us," one God,
three Persons.

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So the Father, Son,
and Spirit say,

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"Let us make man,"
mankind.

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And so the man
is the leader.

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He is made first and so
the human race is named man.

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"...in our image,
after our likeness."

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That "our" language
refers to the Trinity again.

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And men and women both
equally bear the image of God.

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So men and women
are different.

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Do you know this?

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Do you know that
men and women are different?

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Do you know that?

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Any of you women ever
lived with a man and thought,

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"Well, he's
different than me"?

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Any of you men
lived with a woman and said,

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"She's definitely
different than me"?

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Any of you
had children?

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I've got kids.

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My kids are different.

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My son always dresses up
as a warrior, a ninja.

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He asked me, recently,
"Are there Christian ninjas?"

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I think he's trying to
figure out his vocational path.

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[congregation laughing]

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It's ninja, cowboy,
warrior, dragon slayer.

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He even put on
his pumpkin this year.

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He literally wrote
a note--he's 5.

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And his pumpkin
is a warrior pumpkin,

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and it says,
"Jesus will crush you."

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[congregation laughing]

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I don't even know
what that means.

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It's on the front porch
of our house.

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He stuck a note on it.

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[congregation laughing]

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"Jesus will crush you."

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"Trick or treat."

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[congregation laughing]

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My daughters never
did that, never, ever.

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Dress up
like princesses, right?

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"Hey Daddy,
can we go for a walk?"

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"Yeah, we can
go for a walk."

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My sons, "Can we go
assault someone?"

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"Yeah, I guess
we could."

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[congregation laughing]

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Men and women are equal,
but they're different.

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Boys and girls are equal,
but they're different.

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And they're equal because
men and women, male and female,

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bear the image
and likeness of God.

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Goes on--
God goes on to say,

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"You have dominion,
and you rule."

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So there's God above us,

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there's lower creation
beneath us.

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Bad anthropology says,
"Well, we're kind of like God."

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Well, we're not
gods and goddesses.

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And bad anthropology,
in addition to pushing us up,

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can pull us down and say,
"You're basically just

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highly evolved animals."

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Well, we're not animals
and we're not gods.

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We're people made in
the image and likeness of God.

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We are under God's rule,
and we rule over lower creation.

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So "God created man,"
verse 27, "in his own image,

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"in the image of God
he created him;

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male and female
he created them."

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Now, the doctrine of the Trinity
is that God is equal,

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shares all the
divine attributes,

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loves and serves,
but also has what we'll call

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functional submission.

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So the Father
sends the Son.

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And Jesus says over
40 times in John's gospel,

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"The Father
has sent me."

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Jesus says things
while on the earth--

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he's the second
member of the Trinity--

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"I say what the Father
has told me to say,

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and I do what the Father
has asked me to do."

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And we saw this
in Luke's gospel

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not long ago,
that Jesus even prays,

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"Your will be," what?

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"Done."

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And it's been a struggle 
'cause it was 24 years

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that I had this feminist outlook.

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We didn't really know 
what a godly relationship would look like

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Like, I come 
from a long line of Christians

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but they are very feminist leaders 
in my family.

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The women--like the mom 
is the one that wants to go to church,

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Grandma is the one who wants 
to go to church, like Grandpa or Dad

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may support in that, like they'll go 
but if you want anything done

248
00:09:52,833 --> 00:09:56,375
you'll talk to Grandma or you talk to Mom
or you talk to Aunt or--

249
00:09:56,458 --> 00:09:59,333
they kinda lead everything 
and so they're the ones praying with you

250
00:09:59,375 --> 00:10:02,458
and having Bible study and quiet time 
and all that kind of stuff,

251
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,208
teaching you those things,
but Dad's not really as much involved.

252
00:10:05,292 --> 00:10:08,167
So there have been a lot of-- 
in my past--

253
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,708
emotional abuse with different men,

254
00:10:09,792 --> 00:10:14,083
and so there was a lot of bitterness 
and anger towards men.

255
00:10:14,167 --> 00:10:17,000
And so I was like, 
"Well, I can take control of this."

256
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:21,875
But instead of looking at it like, 
"Jesus, you need to be the one I look to,"

257
00:10:21,958 --> 00:10:26,333
it was more like, "Jesus, I look to you
but I'm also gonna still try to control it

258
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,417
'cause you kinda failed me before."

259
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:31,042
Soon we got married, 
that's why I was like, "Shawn's safe."

260
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:35,250
Like he's a safe bet, he's gentle, 
he's quiet, like, he's kind of a wuss.

261
00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:38,917
I didn't know you were a wuss but--
he's kind of quiet, like quiet side

262
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,917
so I was like, 
"I can totally submit to that; that's fine."

263
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,542
But then as we started going through 
our marriage, I'm like,

264
00:10:44,625 --> 00:10:47,500
"This is a lot harder 
than I thought it was gonna be."

265
00:10:47,542 --> 00:10:49,875
All those feelings--
like I hadn't let go of yet

266
00:10:49,958 --> 00:10:51,750
in trying to control Shawn.

267
00:10:51,833 --> 00:10:54,167
And so Jesus, though
he's equal to God the Father--

268
00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:57,042
the second member of the Trinity
is equal to the first member

269
00:10:57,125 --> 00:10:58,333
of the Trinity--

270
00:10:58,417 --> 00:10:59,708
he submits.

271
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:02,917
He submits, and then God says,
"I'm going to make men and women

272
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,833
"in my image and likeness, and
they're going to show the world

273
00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:08,000
a little bit of what
the Trinity is like."

274
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,333
They're going to be equal.

275
00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:11,000
They're going to have
union, communion, love,

276
00:11:11,083 --> 00:11:12,333
affection, communication.

277
00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:14,000
They're going to
care for one another,

278
00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:16,667
serve one another, and also
the woman is going to respect

279
00:11:16,750 --> 00:11:19,833
her husband so that he
can lovingly lead the family

280
00:11:19,875 --> 00:11:21,500
in the purposes of God.

281
00:11:21,542 --> 00:11:23,417
That's ultimately
where all of this is going.

282
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,708
"And so God blessed them."

283
00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:26,667
And here's the good news
about our God.

284
00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:28,375
He likes to bless.

285
00:11:28,458 --> 00:11:30,792
We don't need
to make him bless us.

286
00:11:30,833 --> 00:11:32,917
You don't have to
manipulate God to be good.

287
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,292
He just is.

288
00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:37,167
God wants to bless you, and he
wants to bless your marriage,

289
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:39,333
if you are or will be
one day married.

290
00:11:39,375 --> 00:11:41,708
He wants to bless your children
and your children's children.

291
00:11:41,792 --> 00:11:45,417
I'm convinced the God of
the Bible still likes to bless.

292
00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:48,333
"God blessed them and said,
'Be fruitful, multiply,

293
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,917
fill the earth.'"
Make some babies.

294
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,333
Make some babies.

295
00:11:52,375 --> 00:11:54,208
Children are a blessing.

296
00:11:54,292 --> 00:11:56,000
Children are a gift.

297
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:59,333
Yes, sometimes
they are difficult,

298
00:11:59,375 --> 00:12:02,167
but they are used
of God to sanctify us,

299
00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:06,083
to show us the heart of God
as Father and to reveal to us

300
00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:08,042
sometimes how, as the
sons and daughters of God,

301
00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:10,667
we could be a lot
of work to the good Father

302
00:12:10,750 --> 00:12:12,000
that we have in heaven.

303
00:12:12,042 --> 00:12:14,333
And God says that
children are a blessing.

304
00:12:14,417 --> 00:12:16,500
You know what's
amazing at Mars Hill?

305
00:12:16,542 --> 00:12:18,958
When we started,
we had no children, 15 years ago.

306
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,083
Grace and I
didn't even have a baby yet.

307
00:12:21,167 --> 00:12:22,792
There were no kids
at Mars Hill.

308
00:12:22,833 --> 00:12:24,500
We didn't even
have a kids' ministry.

309
00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:26,875
Do you know that now
Mars Hill Church has almost

310
00:12:26,958 --> 00:12:30,667
2,000 children,
elementary school-aged kids?

311
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:34,333
So Mars Hill went "Dibs!" on
"Be fruitful and multiply."

312
00:12:34,417 --> 00:12:36,333
We called that
verse as our own.

313
00:12:36,417 --> 00:12:38,750
And so we see marriage
as a gift from God,

314
00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:41,167
children are
a blessing from God.

315
00:12:41,250 --> 00:12:43,208
And then it continues,
Genesis 1:31.

316
00:12:43,292 --> 00:12:46,708
"God looked at all that he made
and he said it was very good."

317
00:12:46,792 --> 00:12:48,625
You look at the
world today, you say,

318
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,000
"It doesn't look like that.

319
00:12:50,042 --> 00:12:51,917
"There's sin and sickness,
and suffering and sadness.

320
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,417
What happened?"

321
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:56,000
Well, when God was done,
it was all very good.

322
00:12:56,083 --> 00:12:59,000
Now, because of human sin,
things have gone very bad.

323
00:12:59,042 --> 00:13:00,875
But don't blame God.

324
00:13:00,958 --> 00:13:03,583
Look in the mirror and ask,
"How have I participated

325
00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:06,167
in the demise of all
that God made good?"

326
00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:08,500
Genesis 2 then
picks up the story

327
00:13:08,542 --> 00:13:10,167
and it's the
beginning of marriage.

328
00:13:10,250 --> 00:13:11,583
It's the beginning
of family.

329
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,500
It's the beginning
of gender.

330
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:15,792
And it revisits Genesis 1.

331
00:13:15,833 --> 00:13:17,083
We read Genesis 2:18.

332
00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:20,000
"Then the Lord God said,
'It is not good for the man

333
00:13:20,042 --> 00:13:21,333
to be alone.'"

334
00:13:21,417 --> 00:13:23,042
Up until this point,
everything is good

335
00:13:23,125 --> 00:13:24,375
and very good.

336
00:13:24,458 --> 00:13:25,833
Sin has not
entered the world.

337
00:13:25,917 --> 00:13:28,750
God looks at the man
and says, "That's not good.

338
00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:30,875
It's not good for
the man to be alone."

339
00:13:30,958 --> 00:13:33,292
How many men know
it's not good to be alone?

340
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:34,792
Amen, that's why
you got married.

341
00:13:34,833 --> 00:13:36,667
Every man who gets married
is publicly declaring,

342
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,042
"I need help."

343
00:13:38,125 --> 00:13:39,375
[congregation laughing]

344
00:13:39,458 --> 00:13:41,083
And every woman
who says, "I do,"

345
00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:42,667
she knows
he needs help.

346
00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:44,000
[congregation laughing]

347
00:13:44,083 --> 00:13:46,417
Some of you guys are like,
"I don't need help."

348
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:47,708
You need the most help.

349
00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:49,083
[congregation laughing]

350
00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:50,417
Men need help!

351
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:51,917
It's not good
to be alone.

352
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,167
See, he's got God above him,
creation beneath him.

353
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,000
He doesn't have
a friend alongside of him.

354
00:13:57,042 --> 00:13:58,333
So what does God do?

355
00:13:58,375 --> 00:13:59,708
God has a plan.

356
00:13:59,792 --> 00:14:01,958
And when God calls
the woman the "helper,"

357
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,375
it's not denigrating
because the Bible

358
00:14:03,458 --> 00:14:05,333
says in Psalms, Hebrews,
and elsewhere

359
00:14:05,417 --> 00:14:08,667
that God is our helper,
that God is our helper.

360
00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:11,667
So the woman is made
to help the man glorify God,

361
00:14:11,708 --> 00:14:15,792
as they live together as equals,
with respect for authority,

362
00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:19,042
imaging the Trinity
to the world.

363
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:20,375
It continues.

364
00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:23,292
"Now out of the ground the
Lord God had formed every beast,

365
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,458
every bird--" And what
happens then is God brings

366
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,667
all the animals
to Adam to name him.

367
00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:30,583
And this had to be kind of
a weird moment for Adam.

368
00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:32,792
"Okay Adam, we're going
to find you a spouse."

369
00:14:32,833 --> 00:14:34,542
"Aardvark, is that her?

370
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,375
"I hope that's not her.

371
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,792
All right,
goat, alligator."

372
00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:40,708
All of these animals
are brought before Adam

373
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:43,125
and he names them
and he's wondering,

374
00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:45,625
"Where's my spouse?

375
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:48,000
And I hope we
haven't met them."

376
00:14:48,083 --> 00:14:50,208
[congregation laughing]

377
00:14:50,292 --> 00:14:51,917
And then God
does this amazing thing.

378
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,292
He makes a woman.

379
00:14:53,333 --> 00:14:55,417
He kind of saves
the best for the last.

380
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,375
That's kind of
the image you get here.

381
00:14:57,458 --> 00:15:00,583
"So the Lord God caused a deep
sleep to fall upon the man."

382
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:05,167
Maybe in a chair with
a lever, we don't know.

383
00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:07,583
"And while he slept
he took one of his ribs

384
00:15:07,667 --> 00:15:09,375
"and closed up
that place with flesh.

385
00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:12,000
"And from the rib the
Lord God took from the man,

386
00:15:12,042 --> 00:15:14,375
he made a woman
and brought her to the man."

387
00:15:14,458 --> 00:15:16,083
So ladies,
where do you come from?

388
00:15:16,167 --> 00:15:17,458
The side.

389
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,167
Isn't that beautiful?
I love this imagery.

390
00:15:19,208 --> 00:15:21,542
A woman's not to be
out front like feminism teaches

391
00:15:21,625 --> 00:15:23,000
or behind like
chauvinism teaches.

392
00:15:23,042 --> 00:15:26,292
She's built to be an equal,
a helper, a lover, a partner,

393
00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:29,750
a friend,
alongside of the husband.

394
00:15:29,833 --> 00:15:33,958
And then Eve--
this is an amazing day.

395
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,667
She's had a lot
of things happen to her.

396
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:37,292
She got made.

397
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:38,833
[congregation laughing]

398
00:15:38,917 --> 00:15:41,500
That's a big day.

399
00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:48,500
She met God and God tells her,
"We're going to have a wedding,

400
00:15:48,542 --> 00:15:52,000
and you're naked."

401
00:15:52,083 --> 00:15:55,083
How many of you ladies,
that's a lot for one--

402
00:15:55,167 --> 00:15:57,208
any one of those
things is a lot.

403
00:15:57,292 --> 00:15:59,125
[congregation laughing]

404
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,667
Right?

405
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:03,000
"I'm God, I made you,
you're naked.

406
00:16:03,042 --> 00:16:05,000
We're going
to have a wedding."

407
00:16:05,042 --> 00:16:08,583
And so then God escorts,
like the father,

408
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:11,500
he escorts Eve down
the aisle, our first mother,

409
00:16:11,542 --> 00:16:14,167
and he introduces her
to her husband.

410
00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:18,042
They just met, and this
is the first wedding between

411
00:16:18,125 --> 00:16:20,250
the first man
and the first woman.

412
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:23,375
And so we have the first
recorded words in human history,

413
00:16:23,458 --> 00:16:26,167
Adam speaking to Eve.

414
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:29,542
And in the Hebrew,
it's actually poetry.

415
00:16:29,625 --> 00:16:31,875
It's a song.
It rhymes.

416
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:34,083
That's why guys with guitars
always have a strategic

417
00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:36,000
advantage
to this very day.

418
00:16:36,042 --> 00:16:38,250
[congregation laughing]

419
00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:39,792
"Then the man said,

420
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:43,333
'This at last is bone of my
bones and flesh of my flesh;

421
00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:45,000
"she shall
be called Woman

422
00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:47,292
because she was
taken out of Man.'"

423
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:50,500
And then he lays down
a process that Jesus and Paul

424
00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:52,208
echo in the
New Testament.

425
00:16:52,292 --> 00:16:54,708
"Therefore a man shall
leave his father and mother."

426
00:16:54,792 --> 00:16:57,625
So this is a big part of
our theology at Mars Hill.

427
00:16:57,667 --> 00:16:59,333
How many of you
guys are single?

428
00:16:59,375 --> 00:17:01,083
You're single, right?

429
00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:03,458
Leave your mother
and father's house.

430
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:07,833
If your mom's still cutting
the crust off your sandwich

431
00:17:07,917 --> 00:17:13,167
and tucking the Star Wars
sheets into your bed

432
00:17:13,208 --> 00:17:15,042
and ironing
your footie pajamas,

433
00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:19,458
you are not close
to husband-ready, right?

434
00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:21,583
So first thing, men,
you've got to move out

435
00:17:21,667 --> 00:17:23,083
of your mother
and father's house.

436
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,792
Number two,
"hold fast to his wife."

437
00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:26,083
Not live with her.

438
00:17:26,167 --> 00:17:27,792
He's not looking
for a good time.

439
00:17:27,833 --> 00:17:29,292
He's looking
for a good legacy.

440
00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:30,583
He gets married.

441
00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:33,042
Okay, we want people
to get married at Mars Hill;

442
00:17:33,125 --> 00:17:34,458
93% of you will,
statistically.

443
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,667
We've got a good
premarital process to help.

444
00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:39,500
And then number three,
"they shall become one flesh."

445
00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:42,208
They consummate
their covenant of marriage.

446
00:17:42,292 --> 00:17:45,375
And that idea of one there
is that the man and the woman

447
00:17:45,458 --> 00:17:48,333
become one,
kind of like God the Father,

448
00:17:48,375 --> 00:17:51,292
God the Son,
God the Spirit are one.

449
00:17:51,333 --> 00:17:55,625
This same word here
is used in Deuteronomy 6:4.

450
00:17:55,667 --> 00:17:57,000
It's called the shema.

451
00:17:57,042 --> 00:17:59,125
The Hebrews would say
it three times a day.

452
00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:01,458
"Hear, O Israel:
the Lord our God is one."

453
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,583
So I tell the kids
this all the time.

454
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:06,000
They're like, "Well,
how can God be three in one?"

455
00:18:06,042 --> 00:18:07,667
We had this conversation
actually last night

456
00:18:07,750 --> 00:18:09,875
with the boys,
when I was tucking them in.

457
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:12,542
I said, "Well, it's kind of
like your mom and I.

458
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,958
"Your mom and I are two people,
but we're one.

459
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,333
"We have one last name,
one house, one bank account,

460
00:18:17,417 --> 00:18:18,667
"one bed.

461
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:20,583
"We worship one God.
We're on one mission.

462
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,958
"We're one.
We're one.

463
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,875
"We're two people,
but in another real sense,

464
00:18:23,958 --> 00:18:25,250
"we're one.

465
00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:27,250
"God is kind of like that.

466
00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:29,250
"Three persons,
Father, Son, and Spirit,

467
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:30,583
but one."

468
00:18:30,667 --> 00:18:33,167
And the Bible says they "were
both naked and not ashamed."

469
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:34,542
So God made our bodies.

470
00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:36,583
God made gender.
God made marriage.

471
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:37,875
It's all very good.

472
00:18:37,958 --> 00:18:39,375
There's no shame.

473
00:18:39,458 --> 00:18:42,500
This is God's intent
for men and women.

474
00:18:42,583 --> 00:18:43,875
You say,
"Well, what happened?"

475
00:18:43,958 --> 00:18:45,292
Genesis 3,

476
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,375
Genesis 3.

477
00:18:47,458 --> 00:18:48,708
Someone else
enters the equation.

478
00:18:48,792 --> 00:18:51,625
"Now the serpent was more crafty
than any of the other beasts

479
00:18:51,667 --> 00:18:53,792
of the field that the
Lord God had made."

480
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:57,417
And Revelation 12:9
and Revelation 20:2,

481
00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:01,083
it tells us that this serpent
is Satan, our enemy.

482
00:19:01,167 --> 00:19:04,000
He was an angel made by God,
a created being who led

483
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:07,250
a rebellion against God, and now
Satan and demons are at work

484
00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:08,583
on the earth.

485
00:19:08,667 --> 00:19:10,083
You need to know this.

486
00:19:10,167 --> 00:19:13,583
Satan didn't even show up
until Adam and Eve were married.

487
00:19:13,667 --> 00:19:14,958
You notice that?

488
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,583
He could've showed up and
attacked Adam as a single man.

489
00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:19,292
He waited until
he was married.

490
00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:20,792
I find this is the case.

491
00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:22,083
Sometimes
single people think,

492
00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:24,375
"Well, we'll get married
because we're feeling tempted,

493
00:19:24,458 --> 00:19:25,792
"and tested, and tried.

494
00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:28,375
And once we get married,
then the pressure will be off."

495
00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:30,375
No, it won't.
It will only increase.

496
00:19:30,458 --> 00:19:32,000
Right,
married people?

497
00:19:32,042 --> 00:19:34,042
You're like,
"Man, once we got married,

498
00:19:34,125 --> 00:19:36,750
"once we decided we're going
to love and serve God

499
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:40,625
as a Christian family,
then it got even harder."

500
00:19:40,667 --> 00:19:41,917
Because you
have an enemy.

501
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,667
And I want you
to know this.

502
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,417
It's not just
you and God.

503
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:49,000
There is a third variable,
and that is Satan and demons.

504
00:19:49,083 --> 00:19:50,375
They are real.

505
00:19:50,458 --> 00:19:51,708
They are really at work.

506
00:19:51,792 --> 00:19:54,333
They really hate God, and they
really want to destroy you.

507
00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:56,417
The story goes on.

508
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:59,208
"He said to the woman,
'Did God actually say,

509
00:19:59,292 --> 00:20:01,625
"You cannot eat from
any tree in the garden"?'"

510
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:02,917
That's not what God said.

511
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,333
God had told them,
"You can eat anything you want.

512
00:20:05,375 --> 00:20:07,000
"There's only
one thing you can't do.

513
00:20:07,083 --> 00:20:10,167
Do not partake of the tree of
the knowledge of good and evil."

514
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:12,333
It was right in
the middle of the garden

515
00:20:12,375 --> 00:20:15,208
because we've got to learn to
walk by temptation all the time.

516
00:20:15,292 --> 00:20:18,000
And he changed
God's Word.

517
00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,708
That's how Satan works.

518
00:20:19,792 --> 00:20:21,625
In John 8,
Jesus says he's a liar.

519
00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:24,000
Satan still lies,
and he takes what God said

520
00:20:24,083 --> 00:20:26,833
and he twists it so it's not
exactly what God said.

521
00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:29,208
But if you're not discerning
and studied and read,

522
00:20:29,292 --> 00:20:31,000
you get deceived.

523
00:20:31,083 --> 00:20:33,333
And then Eve has
a conversation with Satan,

524
00:20:33,375 --> 00:20:36,417
and she says,
"God did say we couldn't eat,

525
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:38,333
and he said
we couldn't touch."

526
00:20:38,375 --> 00:20:42,042
She adds to God's Word
something God never said.

527
00:20:42,125 --> 00:20:43,750
We add
to the Scriptures.

528
00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:46,958
We add to the Word of God,
to our own destruction,

529
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:51,708
and it started with
our first mother, Eve.

530
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:55,833
The question then is,
well, where's Adam?

531
00:20:55,875 --> 00:21:01,500
What's he doing,
our father?

532
00:21:01,542 --> 00:21:05,500
He's supposed to be
a dragon slayer like Jesus.

533
00:21:05,542 --> 00:21:08,792
Here's what we read.

534
00:21:08,833 --> 00:21:10,708
Verse 6, chapter 3
of Genesis.

535
00:21:10,792 --> 00:21:13,625
"So when the woman saw
that the tree was good for food,

536
00:21:13,667 --> 00:21:16,500
"a delight to the eyes,
and was to be desired

537
00:21:16,583 --> 00:21:17,833
to make one wise--"

538
00:21:17,875 --> 00:21:19,792
Lust of the
flesh, lust of the eyes,

539
00:21:19,833 --> 00:21:21,708
boastful pride of life,
1 John says--

540
00:21:21,792 --> 00:21:23,667
"she took some
of its fruit and ate.

541
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:26,833
She also gave some to
her husband, who was," where?

542
00:21:26,875 --> 00:21:28,167
"With her."

543
00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:29,500
What was
Adam doing, men?

544
00:21:29,583 --> 00:21:32,125
What was
our father doing?

545
00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:34,333
Nothing.

546
00:21:34,375 --> 00:21:38,833
This is the common
sin of many men.

547
00:21:38,875 --> 00:21:41,000
Some men sin
through commission.

548
00:21:41,083 --> 00:21:44,208
They do what
they should not do!

549
00:21:44,292 --> 00:21:46,167
Other men
sin through omission.

550
00:21:46,250 --> 00:21:49,625
They do not do what
they're supposed to do!

551
00:21:49,667 --> 00:21:52,833
His is a sin
of omission.

552
00:21:52,875 --> 00:21:55,833
So what is God
going to do?

553
00:21:55,875 --> 00:21:58,000
Well first, we read
in verse 7,

554
00:21:58,042 --> 00:21:59,625
"The eyes of both
were opened.

555
00:21:59,667 --> 00:22:01,167
"They knew
they were naked.

556
00:22:01,208 --> 00:22:03,292
They sewed fig leaves together,
and they made loincloths."

557
00:22:03,333 --> 00:22:06,958
The first thing they did,
they covered themselves.

558
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,583
The intimacy is gone
in the marriage.

559
00:22:10,667 --> 00:22:12,000
She's hiding.

560
00:22:12,042 --> 00:22:13,292
He's hiding.

561
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:15,250
"You can't see me.
You can't know me.

562
00:22:15,333 --> 00:22:17,167
I don't trust you."

563
00:22:17,250 --> 00:22:20,042
This is what sin does
to all human relationships,

564
00:22:20,125 --> 00:22:23,792
particularly marriage
in this context.

565
00:22:23,833 --> 00:22:27,292
What is God
going to do?

566
00:22:27,333 --> 00:22:30,375
"And they heard the sound of
the Lord God as he was walking

567
00:22:30,458 --> 00:22:32,583
"in the garden in
the cool of the day,

568
00:22:32,667 --> 00:22:35,167
"and the man and his wife hid
themselves from the presence

569
00:22:35,250 --> 00:22:38,167
of the Lord God among
the trees of the garden."

570
00:22:38,250 --> 00:22:40,417
They had no shame;
now they have shame.

571
00:22:40,500 --> 00:22:42,500
They were not hiding;
now they're hiding.

572
00:22:42,542 --> 00:22:44,208
When people sin,
they tend to hide.

573
00:22:44,292 --> 00:22:46,125
Have you noticed
this with kids?

574
00:22:46,167 --> 00:22:47,917
You're like,
"Where did they go?"

575
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,500
They did something bad.

576
00:22:50,583 --> 00:22:52,000
They're hiding.

577
00:22:52,042 --> 00:22:53,417
This is what
adults do, too.

578
00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:54,917
They stop going
to Community Group.

579
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,375
They stop going
to Redemption Group.

580
00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:57,708
They stop
coming to church.

581
00:22:57,792 --> 00:22:59,000
They stop
returning your calls.

582
00:22:59,083 --> 00:23:00,458
They stop
answering your questions.

583
00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:03,750
They start hiding.

584
00:23:03,833 --> 00:23:07,167
You don't need to hide;
you need to repent.

585
00:23:07,250 --> 00:23:12,792
You don't need to try
and cover up what you've done.

586
00:23:12,833 --> 00:23:16,167
You need to bring it out
in the open so that it can be

587
00:23:16,208 --> 00:23:18,667
dealt with,
and they did not do that.

588
00:23:18,750 --> 00:23:22,083
"But the Lord God called
to the man and said to him,

589
00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:24,375
'Where are you?'"

590
00:23:24,458 --> 00:23:27,958
That's God's question
for men, to the husbands,

591
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,667
to the boyfriends,
to the fathers,

592
00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:32,458
to the grandfathers,
to the brothers in Christ.

593
00:23:32,500 --> 00:23:34,375
Where are you?

594
00:23:34,458 --> 00:23:36,750
Where are you?

595
00:23:36,833 --> 00:23:41,458
And this is God's question,
men, for you and for me today.

596
00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:47,000
I would ignore her. I would--

597
00:23:47,042 --> 00:23:49,208
You watched a lot of movies 
during that time.

598
00:23:49,292 --> 00:23:53,833
Yeah, I would silence the conversation
by turning up the volume.

599
00:23:53,917 --> 00:23:59,875
You know, it's like 
the universal coward move.

600
00:23:59,958 --> 00:24:02,292
Like, "I don't wanna deal with this,

601
00:24:02,333 --> 00:24:07,167
like I don't want 
to understand you."

602
00:24:07,250 --> 00:24:09,000
I can't characterize it by behavior,

603
00:24:09,083 --> 00:24:11,917
I can only characterize it 
by my heart attitude was like,

604
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,458
"I don't care."

605
00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:19,000
Like, obviously not enough 
to invest in her

606
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:22,375
and take care of her.

607
00:24:22,458 --> 00:24:27,417
I did not serve her and did not love her,
the way Christ loves the Church.

608
00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:30,167
Things just got more 
and more out of control

609
00:24:30,208 --> 00:24:35,708
but I was just into porn 
and into myself and just watching movies

610
00:24:35,792 --> 00:24:38,417
and just doing nothing.

611
00:24:38,500 --> 00:24:42,375
Like if I would've been taking drugs,
like that would've been an excuse,

612
00:24:42,458 --> 00:24:45,917
like--but I didn't have one.

613
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:47,375
Now, let me
ask you this.

614
00:24:47,458 --> 00:24:49,500
Who sinned first,
Adam or Eve?

615
00:24:49,583 --> 00:24:50,875
Eve.

616
00:24:50,958 --> 00:24:52,708
Who did God come
looking for first?

617
00:24:52,792 --> 00:24:54,083
Adam.

618
00:24:54,167 --> 00:24:55,417
Why?

619
00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:58,833
Because to be a man is to
bear additional responsibility,

620
00:24:58,875 --> 00:25:03,167
not just for yourself, but
for your wife and your children.

621
00:25:03,208 --> 00:25:06,875
Eve is going to be held
responsible for sure,

622
00:25:06,958 --> 00:25:10,375
but the problems in this family
could have been dealt with

623
00:25:10,458 --> 00:25:14,500
had Adam led, loved,
humbly, courageously,

624
00:25:14,542 --> 00:25:17,375
as God intended,
and he failed.

625
00:25:17,458 --> 00:25:19,875
Our father failed.

626
00:25:19,958 --> 00:25:24,792
His sons, we tend to fail,
and that's sin,

627
00:25:24,833 --> 00:25:27,667
and what it leads to
is separation from his wife.

628
00:25:27,708 --> 00:25:29,667
They have two sons,
Cain and Abel,

629
00:25:29,750 --> 00:25:31,583
and one murders the other.

630
00:25:31,667 --> 00:25:33,500
Men, you need
to know this.

631
00:25:33,542 --> 00:25:35,583
The decisions
we make greatly affect,

632
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:38,458
for good or evil,
our wives and our children,

633
00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:40,500
which means
the decisions we make,

634
00:25:40,542 --> 00:25:45,000
they ring for generations
toward death or life.

635
00:25:45,083 --> 00:25:48,583
We are sinners
by nature and choice,

636
00:25:48,667 --> 00:25:51,167
which means unless
God changes us,

637
00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,917
we're dangerous
for one another.

638
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,083
And we may want to love,
and we may want to have life,

639
00:25:57,167 --> 00:25:59,917
and we want to have legacy,
but we don't have the means

640
00:26:00,042 --> 00:26:03,167
by which to accomplish that
apart from God's salvation

641
00:26:03,208 --> 00:26:05,042
and intervention.

642
00:26:05,125 --> 00:26:09,583
So then God shows up and
he holds the man accountable,

643
00:26:09,667 --> 00:26:12,083
and he holds
you men accountable.

644
00:26:12,167 --> 00:26:14,250
What I'm not talking about
is being a bully.

645
00:26:14,333 --> 00:26:17,667
I'm not talking about being
a dictator or a chauvinist.

646
00:26:17,750 --> 00:26:20,250
What I'm talking about
is loving your wife,

647
00:26:20,333 --> 00:26:22,875
loving your children,
being courageous,

648
00:26:22,958 --> 00:26:26,375
not a coward,
taking responsibility

649
00:26:26,458 --> 00:26:30,667
so that your wife and children
flourish under your care,

650
00:26:30,708 --> 00:26:33,375
that your wife and children
flourish under your care,

651
00:26:33,458 --> 00:26:35,833
that you're a blessing to them,
that you're a protection

652
00:26:35,917 --> 00:26:39,167
for them, that you're
a means of God's grace to them.

653
00:26:39,250 --> 00:26:42,833
That's exactly
what is to happen.

654
00:26:42,875 --> 00:26:45,000
I was really
depressed at that time too.

655
00:26:45,083 --> 00:26:47,750
We didn't have any really friends 
supporting to us at all--

656
00:26:47,833 --> 00:26:50,458
or we weren't seeking that at all 
so if anyone asked

657
00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:52,167
we'd be like, 
"Yeah, we're doing great!"

658
00:26:52,208 --> 00:26:55,042
But there was never the--it never
went deeper than that.

659
00:26:55,125 --> 00:26:58,500
I hated my job but I had to work 
there because for a while

660
00:26:58,583 --> 00:27:01,292
he was unemployed and I was like, 
"I married a bum."

661
00:27:01,333 --> 00:27:03,375
And he was like, 
"I like being unemployed."

662
00:27:03,458 --> 00:27:05,833
I was like, "Oh my gosh, 
I'm gonna have to--"

663
00:27:05,875 --> 00:27:08,958
I didn't want a career 
but I'm like, "I'm gonna get a career.

664
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,458
That's what I need 
to do to fix this because--"

665
00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:15,333
I knew that you didn't want one so I was like,
"I gotta fix this marriage."

666
00:27:15,375 --> 00:27:16,625
Like, "We gotta fix this."

667
00:27:16,667 --> 00:27:19,750
And I was totally content and pleased 
to have her carry the load,

668
00:27:19,833 --> 00:27:23,375
take everything on, build a career 
because it meant I didn't have to do anything.

669
00:27:23,458 --> 00:27:26,792
And God comes and he
holds the man accountable,

670
00:27:26,833 --> 00:27:28,792
and he holds all
of us men accountable,

671
00:27:28,833 --> 00:27:32,750
and we want to create a culture
or cultivate a continued culture

672
00:27:32,833 --> 00:27:35,667
of accountability
among the men.

673
00:27:35,708 --> 00:27:38,292
Even in the previous service,
out in the foyer,

674
00:27:38,333 --> 00:27:41,458
I talked to men who were crying,
holding their wife's hand,

675
00:27:41,500 --> 00:27:44,667
hand on top of their children,
saying, "I have not been

676
00:27:44,750 --> 00:27:46,167
"a good husband.

677
00:27:46,250 --> 00:27:47,958
"I have not been
a good father.

678
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,583
I want to, by the grace
of God, be different."

679
00:27:51,667 --> 00:27:54,792
That's what we want:
men not hiding their sin

680
00:27:54,833 --> 00:27:57,667
and shame, but acknowledging
that they are like their

681
00:27:57,750 --> 00:28:01,042
first father and that they
need God to help them

682
00:28:01,125 --> 00:28:04,250
to be different.

683
00:28:04,333 --> 00:28:10,167
So God comes to Eve
and he speaks to her

684
00:28:10,208 --> 00:28:13,333
and he speaks to Adam
and he doesn't give up on them

685
00:28:13,417 --> 00:28:16,708
and he doesn't give up on you
and he doesn't give up on me

686
00:28:16,792 --> 00:28:18,417
and he doesn't
give up on us.

687
00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:20,125
Sin does not
get the final word.

688
00:28:20,167 --> 00:28:22,833
God does!

689
00:28:22,917 --> 00:28:26,167
Verse 10, "He said, 'I heard the
sound of you in the garden--"

690
00:28:26,250 --> 00:28:27,875
Adam does to God--

691
00:28:27,958 --> 00:28:30,792
"'and I was afraid, because
I was naked, and I hid myself.'

692
00:28:30,833 --> 00:28:32,875
God said, 'Who told you
you were naked?'"

693
00:28:32,958 --> 00:28:37,000
"Oh gosh, yeah,
that's right.

694
00:28:37,042 --> 00:28:42,458
Yeah, oh,
you got me, Lord."

695
00:28:42,500 --> 00:28:46,000
He said, "Have you done
what I told you not to do?"

696
00:28:46,042 --> 00:28:47,333
"Yeah, I did."

697
00:28:47,417 --> 00:28:48,792
And then
what does he say?

698
00:28:48,833 --> 00:28:51,750
"The woman you gave me,
she gave me this fruit,

699
00:28:51,833 --> 00:28:56,000
and me,
as a victim, partook."

700
00:28:56,042 --> 00:28:57,333
Isn't that great?

701
00:28:57,417 --> 00:28:58,667
"Adam, where are you?"

702
00:28:58,750 --> 00:29:00,042
"Oh."

703
00:29:00,125 --> 00:29:01,417
"What did you do?"

704
00:29:01,500 --> 00:29:02,750
"Oh, the wrong thing."

705
00:29:02,833 --> 00:29:04,042
"Why did you do that?"

706
00:29:04,125 --> 00:29:07,458
"The woman you gave me."

707
00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:08,833
[congregation laughing]

708
00:29:08,917 --> 00:29:10,958
"You'll remember, Lord,
everything was fine until

709
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,917
"this girl showed up, and
then-- I think she's defective.

710
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,667
"In fact, you made her.

711
00:29:18,708 --> 00:29:22,333
"I think you
really need to take

712
00:29:22,417 --> 00:29:25,042
some responsibility
here, Lord."

713
00:29:25,125 --> 00:29:26,500
How many men,
that's the issue?

714
00:29:26,542 --> 00:29:28,167
We look at
our wife and say,

715
00:29:28,250 --> 00:29:30,875
"You know, I wasn't like
this until I married you."

716
00:29:30,958 --> 00:29:33,042
She didn't change you;
she exposed you.

717
00:29:33,125 --> 00:29:34,625
That's all she did.

718
00:29:35,917 --> 00:29:38,000
That's all she did.

719
00:29:38,042 --> 00:29:39,875
So Adam tries
to blame it on Eve.

720
00:29:39,958 --> 00:29:41,792
Now ladies,
have you ever had this?

721
00:29:41,833 --> 00:29:43,167
Now, don't
raise your hand.

722
00:29:43,208 --> 00:29:45,875
That would be an awkward
moment in our service.

723
00:29:45,958 --> 00:29:47,250
"Yes, I have!

724
00:29:47,333 --> 00:29:48,583
"He blamed it on me.

725
00:29:48,667 --> 00:29:49,875
"It's his fault!

726
00:29:49,958 --> 00:29:51,250
"Thank you,
Pastor Mark.

727
00:29:51,333 --> 00:29:52,583
Put him
in the clinch."

728
00:29:52,667 --> 00:29:54,292
Okay, I know,
I know, I know.

729
00:29:54,333 --> 00:29:56,000
But how many
of you, really, ladies,

730
00:29:56,042 --> 00:29:58,875
you would say, "I'm tired of
being blamed for all his stuff.

731
00:29:58,958 --> 00:30:01,042
"He gets angry;
it's because I made him angry.

732
00:30:01,125 --> 00:30:03,167
"He fails something; it's
because I wasn't good enough.

733
00:30:03,250 --> 00:30:04,542
It's always my fault."

734
00:30:04,625 --> 00:30:07,458
That's what men like to do:
pawn the blame off on God

735
00:30:07,500 --> 00:30:08,792
and the woman.

736
00:30:08,833 --> 00:30:11,583
It goes all the way back
to our first father.

737
00:30:11,667 --> 00:30:13,667
So then God
comes to the woman.

738
00:30:13,750 --> 00:30:15,583
"Then the Lord God
said to the woman,

739
00:30:15,667 --> 00:30:17,083
'What is this
you have done?'

740
00:30:17,167 --> 00:30:19,000
She said,
'The devil made me do it.'"

741
00:30:19,042 --> 00:30:21,667
She's Charismatic,
so the devil made her do it.

742
00:30:21,750 --> 00:30:23,167
[congregation laughing]

743
00:30:23,208 --> 00:30:25,292
Because see, sometimes ladies,
it's hard to just blame

744
00:30:25,333 --> 00:30:26,917
your husband, right?

745
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,333
A lot of ladies are like,
"Oh, I love him.

746
00:30:29,375 --> 00:30:30,667
"I feel sorry for him.

747
00:30:30,750 --> 00:30:32,125
"I've got
to live with him.

748
00:30:32,167 --> 00:30:33,833
"Uh, the devil.

749
00:30:33,875 --> 00:30:37,000
Yeah, the devil, the devil
attacked my husband."

750
00:30:37,083 --> 00:30:41,375
No, your husband kind of
attacked himself, right?

751
00:30:41,458 --> 00:30:42,708
He didn't do anything.

752
00:30:42,792 --> 00:30:44,000
He was a coward.

753
00:30:44,083 --> 00:30:45,375
He saw this coming.

754
00:30:45,458 --> 00:30:46,708
His eyes were open.

755
00:30:46,792 --> 00:30:49,125
God made him a leader
and, as a result,

756
00:30:49,167 --> 00:30:51,875
it's his responsibility.

757
00:30:51,958 --> 00:30:54,500
We can't blame the woman,
and we can't blame the devil.

758
00:30:54,583 --> 00:30:56,917
Ultimately, men need
to take responsibility,

759
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:01,333
but it starts with one man
taking responsibility.

760
00:31:01,417 --> 00:31:02,667
You look at this.

761
00:31:02,750 --> 00:31:04,000
You say,
"Where's the hope?

762
00:31:04,042 --> 00:31:05,333
"Where's the good news?

763
00:31:05,417 --> 00:31:07,333
How's this going to work?"

764
00:31:07,417 --> 00:31:10,083
Well, God curses Satan.

765
00:31:10,167 --> 00:31:15,250
And then verse 14, "The Lord
God said to Satan the serpent,

766
00:31:15,333 --> 00:31:17,667
'Because you have done this,
you're going to be cursed.'"

767
00:31:17,708 --> 00:31:19,875
Down to verse 15,
"'I will put enmity between

768
00:31:19,958 --> 00:31:22,292
"you and the woman,
between your offspring and hers;

769
00:31:22,333 --> 00:31:26,833
he shall bruise your head,
and you shall bruise his heel.'"

770
00:31:26,875 --> 00:31:30,417
God shows up and says,
"This man and this woman

771
00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:32,583
are the problem,
not the solution."

772
00:31:32,667 --> 00:31:37,500
God looks at it and says,
"It's completely devastated.

773
00:31:37,542 --> 00:31:40,000
"They are the problem,
not the solution,

774
00:31:40,083 --> 00:31:42,792
"so I'm going to
send the solution.

775
00:31:42,833 --> 00:31:44,917
"I'm going to
send the Savior.

776
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,208
I'm going to send
the Son of God."

777
00:31:47,292 --> 00:31:49,625
And so this is the
first promise of the coming

778
00:31:49,667 --> 00:31:52,208
of the second member of the
Trinity, the Lord Jesus Christ,

779
00:31:52,292 --> 00:31:53,625
in the Bible.

780
00:31:53,667 --> 00:31:55,500
And he looks at Satan,
and he says,

781
00:31:55,583 --> 00:31:58,208
"I'm sending a Son
born of a woman."

782
00:31:58,292 --> 00:32:01,000
That's Jesus,
born of Mary.

783
00:32:01,042 --> 00:32:03,167
"You're going to have
a great conflict with him.

784
00:32:03,208 --> 00:32:06,000
You're going to hurt him,
but he's going to destroy you."

785
00:32:06,042 --> 00:32:09,375
And so Jesus is
promised to be coming.

786
00:32:09,458 --> 00:32:11,583
See, the hope is not
in the husband.

787
00:32:11,667 --> 00:32:13,583
The hope is not
in the wife.

788
00:32:13,667 --> 00:32:16,500
The hope of the husband
and the wife is Jesus.

789
00:32:16,542 --> 00:32:18,750
The hope for
the family is Jesus.

790
00:32:18,833 --> 00:32:21,083
The hope for the
human race is Jesus.

791
00:32:21,167 --> 00:32:22,875
The hope for everyone,
everywhere,

792
00:32:22,958 --> 00:32:27,500
all the time on the earth
is this Son, this Jesus,

793
00:32:27,542 --> 00:32:30,667
this second Adam,
this last Adam.

794
00:32:30,750 --> 00:32:33,708
Where the first Adam failed,
the second Adam succeeds.

795
00:32:33,792 --> 00:32:35,708
Where the first Adam
brought death,

796
00:32:35,792 --> 00:32:37,417
the second Adam
brings life.

797
00:32:37,500 --> 00:32:39,500
Where the first Adam
failed in a garden,

798
00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:43,333
the second Adam actually
shed drops of blood and anxiety

799
00:32:43,375 --> 00:32:45,917
on his way to
the cross in a garden.

800
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,917
Where the first Adam
failed at a tree,

801
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:53,125
the second Adam
atoned for sin on a tree!

802
00:32:53,167 --> 00:32:55,500
The hope
is not in Adam!

803
00:32:55,583 --> 00:32:57,583
The hope
is in Jesus!

804
00:32:57,667 --> 00:32:59,625
[congregation applauding]

805
00:32:59,667 --> 00:33:03,875
And that's why--
that's why in Romans 5:12-21

806
00:33:03,958 --> 00:33:05,958
it says there's only
two kinds of people:

807
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,458
those who
are born in Adam,

808
00:33:07,500 --> 00:33:10,292
and those who are
born again in Jesus Christ;

809
00:33:10,333 --> 00:33:12,167
those who were
condemned in Adam,

810
00:33:12,208 --> 00:33:14,667
and those who are
saved in Jesus Christ;

811
00:33:14,708 --> 00:33:16,583
those who are
sinners in Adam,

812
00:33:16,667 --> 00:33:20,500
and those who are
saints in Jesus Christ.

813
00:33:20,542 --> 00:33:22,375
And so from
this point forward,

814
00:33:22,458 --> 00:33:24,500
the hope is
someone else is coming

815
00:33:24,542 --> 00:33:27,250
and he's going to fix
what we have made wrong.

816
00:33:27,333 --> 00:33:30,042
He's going to straighten out
what we have made crooked.

817
00:33:30,125 --> 00:33:32,083
He will forgive
the sin we've committed.

818
00:33:32,167 --> 00:33:35,792
He will take away
the shame that covers us.

819
00:33:35,833 --> 00:33:38,667
But God does predict
that there would be conflict

820
00:33:38,750 --> 00:33:40,667
between men and women.

821
00:33:40,750 --> 00:33:43,000
God tells the woman
that with great pain

822
00:33:43,042 --> 00:33:45,083
she'll bring forth children.

823
00:33:45,167 --> 00:33:47,292
Ladies, is that true?

824
00:33:47,333 --> 00:33:52,292
I've been at a birth.
I'll tell you, wow!

825
00:33:52,333 --> 00:33:53,583
Wow!

826
00:33:53,667 --> 00:33:55,500
It looks like it hurts.

827
00:33:55,542 --> 00:33:57,000
[congregation laughing]

828
00:33:57,042 --> 00:33:59,458
And it says that a lot
of a woman's pain

829
00:33:59,500 --> 00:34:02,167
is going to come through
being a wife and a mother.

830
00:34:02,208 --> 00:34:04,042
She's going to struggle
with trusting a man

831
00:34:04,125 --> 00:34:05,417
because men are sinners.

832
00:34:05,500 --> 00:34:07,750
She's going to struggle
in regards to motherhood

833
00:34:07,833 --> 00:34:10,833
and her roles, and this is
going to cause a lot of anxiety

834
00:34:10,917 --> 00:34:12,333
and frustration,
and it's still true.

835
00:34:12,417 --> 00:34:14,542
And then for the man,
God comes and says,

836
00:34:14,625 --> 00:34:16,667
"Your job is going
to be really hard,

837
00:34:16,708 --> 00:34:18,625
thorns and thistles
and frustration."

838
00:34:18,667 --> 00:34:20,833
How many of you guys
work that job?

839
00:34:20,875 --> 00:34:22,500
You're like,
"Yeah, my job is hard."

840
00:34:22,583 --> 00:34:23,958
Do you know why?

841
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,542
God loves you.

842
00:34:25,625 --> 00:34:27,000
You say,
"My job doesn't work.

843
00:34:27,042 --> 00:34:28,500
"It's hard
to feed my family.

844
00:34:28,542 --> 00:34:29,875
"I'm competing
in business.

845
00:34:29,958 --> 00:34:31,583
"It's so tough
to pay the bills.

846
00:34:31,667 --> 00:34:33,000
Why, Lord, why?"

847
00:34:33,042 --> 00:34:36,250
And God's like, "Ah,
now you know what I feel like

848
00:34:36,333 --> 00:34:39,958
"trying to get you to do
what you're supposed to do.

849
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,375
"Your job treats you
like you treat me.

850
00:34:42,458 --> 00:34:44,250
Ha ha, you're welcome."

851
00:34:44,333 --> 00:34:45,667
So that's how it goes.

852
00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:48,083
[congregation laughing]

853
00:34:48,167 --> 00:34:50,250
So then they get
kicked out of the garden,

854
00:34:50,333 --> 00:34:52,875
so that they don't live forever
because they would live forever

855
00:34:52,958 --> 00:34:55,292
apart from God,
which would be hellish.

856
00:34:55,333 --> 00:34:56,792
Death comes into
the human equation,

857
00:34:56,833 --> 00:34:58,750
and for thousands of years,
people are waiting

858
00:34:58,833 --> 00:35:00,458
the coming of Jesus.

859
00:35:00,500 --> 00:35:02,167
Finally,
the prophecy is fulfilled.

860
00:35:02,208 --> 00:35:04,125
The woman does
give birth to a son.

861
00:35:04,167 --> 00:35:05,833
His name is Jesus.

862
00:35:05,917 --> 00:35:07,250
He lives without sin.

863
00:35:07,333 --> 00:35:08,750
He's God among us.

864
00:35:08,833 --> 00:35:10,250
He's the second Adam.

865
00:35:10,333 --> 00:35:11,750
And he's the
Savior of sinners.

866
00:35:11,833 --> 00:35:13,250
He's the hope
of the world.

867
00:35:13,333 --> 00:35:15,625
He's the reconciler
of relationships.

868
00:35:15,667 --> 00:35:18,417
He goes to the cross,
substitutes himself,

869
00:35:18,500 --> 00:35:21,833
suffers and dies in
our place for our sins,

870
00:35:21,875 --> 00:35:25,875
out of love for us,
to save the sons of Adam,

871
00:35:25,958 --> 00:35:29,542
to save the daughters of Eve,
to reconcile them together.

872
00:35:29,625 --> 00:35:32,083
He is buried;
he rises from death.

873
00:35:32,167 --> 00:35:35,083
His friends, his family,
his foes all saw it

874
00:35:35,167 --> 00:35:37,167
and testified to it.

875
00:35:37,208 --> 00:35:39,292
Jesus conquers
sin and death.

876
00:35:39,333 --> 00:35:41,667
Jesus gives
salvation and life.

877
00:35:41,750 --> 00:35:43,833
He is the way,
the truth, and the life.

878
00:35:43,917 --> 00:35:46,542
No one comes
to the Father, but by him.

879
00:35:46,625 --> 00:35:49,542
He evidences his
resurrection for 40 days,

880
00:35:49,625 --> 00:35:53,042
ascends back into heaven, and
the Holy Spirit is poured out,

881
00:35:53,125 --> 00:35:56,000
and the Christian church
explodes from 120 people

882
00:35:56,042 --> 00:35:59,167
meeting in an upper room to
what is now a few billion people

883
00:35:59,208 --> 00:36:02,958
on the earth, and we're part
of that great gospel legacy

884
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:04,250
in the wake of Jesus.

885
00:36:04,333 --> 00:36:07,250
And Jason had never--he just shared
his testimony with me and then left.

886
00:36:07,333 --> 00:36:10,000
He was waiting on a ride 
so he had to leave,

887
00:36:10,083 --> 00:36:13,667
but he had a lot of adultery 
and all this kind of stuff that God

888
00:36:13,708 --> 00:36:15,250
had changed him,
actually changed him.

889
00:36:15,333 --> 00:36:20,750
And it kind of--God used that story 
to just break my spirit of "Men can't change."

890
00:36:20,833 --> 00:36:23,167
And to hear his testimony, 
the Holy Spirit was like,

891
00:36:23,208 --> 00:36:24,542
"I can change anyone.

892
00:36:24,625 --> 00:36:27,083
"I can change anything 
and through the sacrifice of Christ,

893
00:36:27,167 --> 00:36:30,000
"I can do whatever I want 
so you need to quit saying

894
00:36:30,042 --> 00:36:31,667
that I can't change people."

895
00:36:31,750 --> 00:36:38,167
We came to church, A.J. 
and Pastor Donovan approached us.

896
00:36:38,208 --> 00:36:41,750
Pastor A.J. kind of started 
asking her questions.

897
00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:43,833
Pastor Donovan
asked me questions.

898
00:36:43,875 --> 00:36:46,750
I'd heard about A.J. 
I heard the term, "Somebody got AJ'd."

899
00:36:46,833 --> 00:36:48,333
I was like, "This guy's tough."

900
00:36:48,417 --> 00:36:51,667
So when he came up to me 
I'm like, "I'm ready for this."

901
00:36:51,708 --> 00:36:54,542
Like this guy takes down from this,
like I'll take him on.

902
00:36:54,625 --> 00:36:57,542
And he came up and just asked me 
a few questions like,

903
00:36:57,625 --> 00:37:00,583
"Hey, how are you?"
Like, "How did Shawn take care of you?"

904
00:37:00,667 --> 00:37:03,208
I was like, "What is that?
What is he talking about?

905
00:37:03,292 --> 00:37:06,625
I take care of myself.
We live together but I take care of myself."

906
00:37:06,667 --> 00:37:08,375
And so he was like, "Oh, okay."

907
00:37:08,458 --> 00:37:11,500
And that was all he had said
and then he turned to Shawn

908
00:37:11,583 --> 00:37:13,667
and he started asking 
all these much more pointed,

909
00:37:13,750 --> 00:37:15,875
much more harsh and directed questions 
that I assumed

910
00:37:15,958 --> 00:37:17,917
were going to be me, 
but were him.

911
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:21,583
- And I was like, actually--
- 'Cause she was the head at the time.

912
00:37:21,667 --> 00:37:25,000
I was like, I actually kinda like this,
I like that he's asking him

913
00:37:25,083 --> 00:37:27,208
all these questions 
and just listening and observing

914
00:37:27,292 --> 00:37:30,125
the way he wasn't freaking out but
just responding to those questions.

915
00:37:30,167 --> 00:37:33,792
God quickly convicted me that the answer
to every one of their questions was "no."

916
00:37:33,833 --> 00:37:35,250
Like, "Are you leading her?"
"No."

917
00:37:35,333 --> 00:37:36,667
"Are you loving her?"
"No."

918
00:37:36,750 --> 00:37:38,500
"How are you serving her?"
"I'm not."

919
00:37:38,583 --> 00:37:40,167
"What does your marriage
look like?"

920
00:37:40,208 --> 00:37:42,750
"Um, it's weak because I don't
take care of her."

921
00:37:42,833 --> 00:37:45,750
You know, and it was like God
was just leading these answers

922
00:37:45,833 --> 00:37:47,708
out of me that I
didn't wanna give.

923
00:37:47,792 --> 00:37:50,833
And it was really revealing 
and just really like we kind of left

924
00:37:50,917 --> 00:37:52,833
just totally broken 
and in shock, like, "Really?

925
00:37:52,875 --> 00:37:54,167
Was it that bad?"

926
00:37:54,208 --> 00:37:57,292
And I'm like asking her--like gosh 
I can't believe how horrible

927
00:37:57,333 --> 00:38:04,333
it was like just hearing it from her
was just like a punch in the chest

928
00:38:04,375 --> 00:38:09,250
like the Spirit was starting 
to draw me to repentance,

929
00:38:09,333 --> 00:38:11,833
draw me to see my sin.

930
00:38:11,917 --> 00:38:18,250
What it came down to is Jesus 
made it impossible for us to continue

931
00:38:18,333 --> 00:38:25,333
in how I was stumbling, 
how I was misleading her, how I was,

932
00:38:25,958 --> 00:38:29,458
in my sin, just leading us to death, 
leading our marriage to death.

933
00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:31,042
I felt incredibly excited.

934
00:38:31,125 --> 00:38:34,250
It was this crazy shift from,

935
00:38:34,333 --> 00:38:38,333
"I hate all those people. 
I want nothing to do with them,"

936
00:38:38,375 --> 00:38:44,667
to "This could work 
and I think it's the right time."

937
00:38:44,750 --> 00:38:48,958
What is God's intent for
men and women in the church?

938
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:52,000
And here's where
we begin, 1 Timothy 2:11.

939
00:38:52,042 --> 00:38:54,667
"Let a woman learn--"

940
00:38:54,708 --> 00:38:57,375
In that day,
that was controversial.

941
00:38:57,458 --> 00:38:59,333
Women over here,
men over here.

942
00:38:59,375 --> 00:39:01,833
Men learn,
women don't.

943
00:39:01,917 --> 00:39:03,500
Most women
were illiterate.

944
00:39:03,542 --> 00:39:04,875
They weren't
taught to read.

945
00:39:04,958 --> 00:39:06,833
They were not recognized
as equal to men.

946
00:39:06,917 --> 00:39:09,500
We know that the Bible
teaches men and women are equal

947
00:39:09,542 --> 00:39:11,667
because they bear
the image and likeness of God.

948
00:39:11,750 --> 00:39:14,083
Like a right and left hand,
they complement one another,

949
00:39:14,167 --> 00:39:15,958
working together
for the glory of God,

950
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,333
and God wants
the women to learn.

951
00:39:18,417 --> 00:39:20,375
So ladies,
read your Bible, read books,

952
00:39:20,458 --> 00:39:23,375
read theology, good podcasts,
vodcasts, classes,

953
00:39:23,458 --> 00:39:25,250
learn, grow.

954
00:39:25,333 --> 00:39:26,792
Grow.

955
00:39:26,833 --> 00:39:28,667
Don't borrow the
faith of your parents.

956
00:39:28,750 --> 00:39:30,500
Don't borrow the
faith of your husband.

957
00:39:30,542 --> 00:39:32,250
Don't take other
people's word for it.

958
00:39:32,333 --> 00:39:34,083
Open the book
that God wrote.

959
00:39:34,167 --> 00:39:36,042
Get to know
the God of the book.

960
00:39:36,125 --> 00:39:37,500
Do your own homework.

961
00:39:37,542 --> 00:39:39,292
Come to your
own convictions.

962
00:39:39,333 --> 00:39:41,500
There is nothing better
than to encourage the ladies

963
00:39:41,542 --> 00:39:42,958
to be good theologians.

964
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,917
And so he says,
"Let the women learn--"

965
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:47,625
and he says
with a condition--

966
00:39:47,667 --> 00:39:49,667
"quietly
with submissiveness."

967
00:39:49,708 --> 00:39:52,125
And the quietness here
is not an abject silence.

968
00:39:52,167 --> 00:39:55,250
It's a word used, as well,
over in Titus to refer to men.

969
00:39:55,333 --> 00:39:57,333
It just means respectful.

970
00:39:57,417 --> 00:39:59,250
It means that sometimes,
when we hear things,

971
00:39:59,333 --> 00:40:00,958
our first thought is,
"That's wrong."

972
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,250
Well, think about it.

973
00:40:02,333 --> 00:40:04,667
Is it in the Bible?
Is that what God said?

974
00:40:04,708 --> 00:40:06,167
Let the Holy Spirit
show up.

975
00:40:06,208 --> 00:40:09,333
See if it doesn't
get clearer for you.

976
00:40:09,417 --> 00:40:11,500
What he's asking here
is that people would learn,

977
00:40:11,583 --> 00:40:13,250
particularly women,
in this context.

978
00:40:13,333 --> 00:40:14,625
And just listen.

979
00:40:14,667 --> 00:40:15,958
Give it a shot.

980
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,250
See what the Bible says.

981
00:40:17,333 --> 00:40:20,417
Some of you say, "Well, that's
not how it works in the world."

982
00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:21,875
Well, let me
tell you this.

983
00:40:21,958 --> 00:40:23,208
The world ain't working.

984
00:40:23,292 --> 00:40:26,833
The world ain't working, and
the Word of God stands forever.

985
00:40:26,875 --> 00:40:29,625
I didn't know how to--
how to be a wife.

986
00:40:29,667 --> 00:40:32,167
Like all these questions
like I had no idea.

987
00:40:32,250 --> 00:40:34,625
So I asked a ton of questions
but I also like--

988
00:40:34,667 --> 00:40:37,333
that's when I went to Mars Hill's website 
and just googled "women"

989
00:40:37,417 --> 00:40:39,250
'cause I was like, 
"They've gotta have something,

990
00:40:39,333 --> 00:40:41,542
like they've gotta have 
some kind of help for me."

991
00:40:41,625 --> 00:40:44,042
And there was--I think there was
like five sermons by Pastor Mark

992
00:40:44,125 --> 00:40:46,583
and I just listened to them all.
Like right in a row.

993
00:40:46,667 --> 00:40:48,667
I was just like, 
"God I know what this is."

994
00:40:48,750 --> 00:40:51,000
And some were from Timothy 
and 1 Peter and different things

995
00:40:51,042 --> 00:40:53,375
but I was like, "I have to know 
what this looks like

996
00:40:53,458 --> 00:40:54,875
if we're gonna live this way now."

997
00:40:54,958 --> 00:40:57,333
Not totally in a pure heart; 
there was still some controlling there

998
00:40:57,417 --> 00:40:59,083
but I was just like a sponge.

999
00:40:59,167 --> 00:41:01,000
Like I have to know
what this looks like.

1000
00:41:01,042 --> 00:41:02,667
I have to know 
how God sees marriage

1001
00:41:02,750 --> 00:41:05,958
and what God wants it to look like 
'cause I didn't know.

1002
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:09,083
He goes on to say, "I do not
permit a woman to teach

1003
00:41:09,167 --> 00:41:12,792
or to exercise authority over
a man; she must remain quiet."

1004
00:41:12,833 --> 00:41:16,167
Now, the word "teach" here
is used of the elders or pastors

1005
00:41:16,250 --> 00:41:17,542
in 1 Timothy 5.

1006
00:41:17,625 --> 00:41:19,667
"Let the elders who labor
in preaching and teaching

1007
00:41:19,750 --> 00:41:21,500
be worthy
of double honor."

1008
00:41:21,583 --> 00:41:23,208
And this word for
"authority"--usually,

1009
00:41:23,292 --> 00:41:25,375
when it comes to
a word in the Bible,

1010
00:41:25,458 --> 00:41:28,000
to understand what is meant,
we look at how the Bible

1011
00:41:28,083 --> 00:41:29,333
uses the word elsewhere.

1012
00:41:29,375 --> 00:41:31,875
This word only
appears in this place

1013
00:41:31,958 --> 00:41:33,625
in the whole Bible, right?

1014
00:41:33,667 --> 00:41:35,708
The theologians call
it a hapax legomenon.

1015
00:41:35,792 --> 00:41:37,083
I know, big word.

1016
00:41:37,167 --> 00:41:38,417
That's what they do.

1017
00:41:38,500 --> 00:41:41,000
This is the only place
that word appears in the Bible.

1018
00:41:41,083 --> 00:41:42,375
So what does it mean?

1019
00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,667
Well, in context,
it seems to mean that women

1020
00:41:44,750 --> 00:41:46,000
are spiritually gifted.

1021
00:41:46,083 --> 00:41:47,708
Women have all
the same spiritual gifts

1022
00:41:47,792 --> 00:41:49,208
open to them as men.

1023
00:41:49,292 --> 00:41:51,833
The women should use them to
the fullest, with one exception:

1024
00:41:51,875 --> 00:41:53,500
the office of elder,
preaching and teaching

1025
00:41:53,583 --> 00:41:56,833
in the place of highest
authority in the church.

1026
00:41:56,875 --> 00:41:59,000
You say, "Well, is this
a cultural thing?"

1027
00:41:59,083 --> 00:42:01,292
No, it's
a creation thing.

1028
00:42:01,333 --> 00:42:03,667
He goes back
to Genesis 1, 2, and 3.

1029
00:42:03,708 --> 00:42:06,000
"For Adam was
formed first, then Eve;

1030
00:42:06,042 --> 00:42:08,458
"and Adam was not deceived,
but the woman was deceived

1031
00:42:08,500 --> 00:42:09,958
and became
a transgressor."

1032
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,583
And it goes on to say,
"Yet she will be saved

1033
00:42:12,667 --> 00:42:14,292
"through childbearing--
if she continues in faith,

1034
00:42:14,333 --> 00:42:15,667
love, holiness,
and self-control."

1035
00:42:15,708 --> 00:42:17,792
What he's saying
is God made the man first.

1036
00:42:17,833 --> 00:42:19,292
God made
the man the leader.

1037
00:42:19,333 --> 00:42:20,583
God made
the man responsible.

1038
00:42:20,667 --> 00:42:22,083
The woman
was to help him.

1039
00:42:22,167 --> 00:42:24,500
She was to come alongside
as a partner and equal,

1040
00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:26,167
a friend in
the purposes of God.

1041
00:42:26,250 --> 00:42:27,708
God named
the race "mankind."

1042
00:42:27,792 --> 00:42:30,625
God holds the race responsible
through the man.

1043
00:42:30,667 --> 00:42:34,708
In fact, we're receiving
of the condemnation of sin

1044
00:42:34,792 --> 00:42:36,375
through our father, Adam.

1045
00:42:36,458 --> 00:42:41,792
Even though Eve sinned first,
men are told that it is Adam

1046
00:42:41,833 --> 00:42:44,292
who was our federal
representative and head.

1047
00:42:44,333 --> 00:42:48,167
And when he sinned, we were
all included in his decision.

1048
00:42:48,250 --> 00:42:50,333
And here's the big idea.

1049
00:42:50,375 --> 00:42:53,625
God wants men
to take responsibility.

1050
00:42:53,667 --> 00:42:56,500
God wants women
to take responsibility.

1051
00:42:56,583 --> 00:42:59,875
But God wants men
to lovingly take responsibility

1052
00:42:59,958 --> 00:43:02,000
for the well-being
of their church,

1053
00:43:02,042 --> 00:43:04,667
not to stand back in
the church like Adam did

1054
00:43:04,750 --> 00:43:09,958
in the garden and say, "Well,
this isn't my responsibility."

1055
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,333
So here's
the big idea, men.

1056
00:43:13,417 --> 00:43:16,583
We want you to love
your wives and children.

1057
00:43:16,667 --> 00:43:21,833
We want you to help
your wife learn: Bible study,

1058
00:43:21,875 --> 00:43:24,917
prayer, encouragement,
book-reading, conversation,

1059
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,375
investing in, so that
your wife would flourish,

1060
00:43:27,458 --> 00:43:30,500
so that your children
would flourish.

1061
00:43:30,583 --> 00:43:33,500
Too many churches have this
idea that it's a man's duty

1062
00:43:33,583 --> 00:43:37,292
to drop his wife and kids off,
while he drives away.

1063
00:43:37,333 --> 00:43:39,167
There's nothing wrong
with children's ministry.

1064
00:43:39,250 --> 00:43:41,000
There's nothing wrong
with women's ministry.

1065
00:43:41,083 --> 00:43:43,000
But you know what
the world really needs?

1066
00:43:43,042 --> 00:43:47,833
More husbands and fathers
that love their wife,

1067
00:43:47,875 --> 00:43:51,708
that love their kids, that
love and serve their church.

1068
00:43:51,792 --> 00:43:54,417
And he then transitions in
chapter 3 to the qualifications

1069
00:43:54,500 --> 00:43:58,000
of an elder, a pastor, the
senior leaders in the church,

1070
00:43:58,083 --> 00:44:02,875
those who set the example,
imitable for others.

1071
00:44:02,958 --> 00:44:05,750
And so the qualifications
of an elder begin with,

1072
00:44:05,833 --> 00:44:08,667
"This is a trustworthy saying:
If anyone aspires to the office

1073
00:44:08,708 --> 00:44:11,292
of overseer,
he desires a noble task."

1074
00:44:11,333 --> 00:44:13,875
What he's saying is if in your
heart you're saying, men,

1075
00:44:13,958 --> 00:44:15,667
"Yeah, I'd like
to lead someday,

1076
00:44:15,708 --> 00:44:18,542
"I'd like to help this be
a great church to God's glory,

1077
00:44:18,625 --> 00:44:21,417
"I'd like to make this
a place that I take my time,

1078
00:44:21,500 --> 00:44:23,625
"talent, and treasure,
and I want this to be

1079
00:44:23,667 --> 00:44:25,417
the best church
it can possibly be,"

1080
00:44:25,500 --> 00:44:27,500
God says that's
a really good thing!

1081
00:44:27,583 --> 00:44:30,417
So how many of you men aspire
to leadership in this church?

1082
00:44:30,500 --> 00:44:32,833
You're not a leader yet
but you aspire to it,

1083
00:44:32,875 --> 00:44:34,167
raise your hand.

1084
00:44:34,250 --> 00:44:36,125
How many of you men
aspire to that?

1085
00:44:36,167 --> 00:44:38,708
And I love seeing the hands
of the really young men.

1086
00:44:38,792 --> 00:44:40,708
God got my heart
at age 19.

1087
00:44:40,792 --> 00:44:42,000
He saved me.

1088
00:44:42,083 --> 00:44:43,708
And let me
tell you the truth.

1089
00:44:43,792 --> 00:44:45,500
I did it all wrong.

1090
00:44:45,542 --> 00:44:47,833
I was self-righteous
and proud and religious,

1091
00:44:47,875 --> 00:44:51,333
and I didn't know God, and I
was sleeping with my girlfriend

1092
00:44:51,375 --> 00:44:53,500
and I had a massive
anger problem

1093
00:44:53,583 --> 00:44:55,917
and I came from
a long line of wife beaters

1094
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:59,625
and alcoholics and bullies
and thugs and jerks.

1095
00:44:59,667 --> 00:45:03,583
And God saved me, and he
gave me a love for his Son,

1096
00:45:03,667 --> 00:45:05,375
Jesus Christ.

1097
00:45:05,458 --> 00:45:08,042
He gave me a love for
the church of Jesus Christ,

1098
00:45:08,125 --> 00:45:11,667
and he gave me a love
for a girl named Grace.

1099
00:45:11,750 --> 00:45:17,583
And he put in me this desire
to serve and love the church.

1100
00:45:17,667 --> 00:45:19,667
I want to love
what Jesus loved.

1101
00:45:19,750 --> 00:45:21,667
I want to serve
what Jesus served.

1102
00:45:21,750 --> 00:45:24,875
Jesus loved
and served the church.

1103
00:45:24,958 --> 00:45:27,375
And so I'm inviting
you men to aspire.

1104
00:45:27,458 --> 00:45:30,375
He says it's a good thing
to aspire to leadership.

1105
00:45:30,458 --> 00:45:32,167
And, friends,
as Mars Hill grows,

1106
00:45:32,250 --> 00:45:35,000
one of the fastest-growing,
largest churches in America now,

1107
00:45:35,042 --> 00:45:37,167
we need more leaders.

1108
00:45:37,208 --> 00:45:39,500
We need more
good husbands and fathers,

1109
00:45:39,542 --> 00:45:41,542
and the
qualifications continue.

1110
00:45:41,625 --> 00:45:43,958
"Therefore an overseer,"
an elder, a pastor,

1111
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,458
"must be above reproach,
the husband of one wife."

1112
00:45:47,500 --> 00:45:49,375
This doesn't mean
single men don't qualify.

1113
00:45:49,458 --> 00:45:51,875
If Jesus signed up,
we'd take him.

1114
00:45:51,958 --> 00:45:53,583
If Paul signed up,
we'd take him.

1115
00:45:53,667 --> 00:45:55,292
If Jeremiah signed up,
we'd take him,

1116
00:45:55,333 --> 00:45:57,000
even though
he cries a lot.

1117
00:45:57,042 --> 00:45:58,500
We'd take him, too.

1118
00:45:58,542 --> 00:46:00,333
[congregation laughing]

1119
00:46:00,417 --> 00:46:02,500
But it does mean
that most of the pastors

1120
00:46:02,583 --> 00:46:04,917
are going to be married;
and those who are married,

1121
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:06,250
they're good husbands.

1122
00:46:06,333 --> 00:46:08,833
And then it goes on to
talk about they're good fathers.

1123
00:46:08,917 --> 00:46:10,333
Their kids follow,
love their dad.

1124
00:46:10,417 --> 00:46:12,167
Their wife
is flourishing.

1125
00:46:12,208 --> 00:46:13,833
She's well cared for.

1126
00:46:13,917 --> 00:46:15,500
Their finances
are in order.

1127
00:46:15,583 --> 00:46:17,000
Their life
is in order.

1128
00:46:17,083 --> 00:46:18,333
Their household
is in order.

1129
00:46:18,417 --> 00:46:20,958
And what he says is this:
"If you can't take care

1130
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,583
of your family, why would we
give you the church family?"

1131
00:46:23,667 --> 00:46:25,542
Why would we give you
the church family?

1132
00:46:25,625 --> 00:46:27,500
And then it
goes on to talk about

1133
00:46:27,542 --> 00:46:28,792
the qualifications
of deacons.

1134
00:46:28,833 --> 00:46:31,750
You can read the
whole list for elders.

1135
00:46:31,833 --> 00:46:33,750
But it says,
"Deacons likewise--"

1136
00:46:33,833 --> 00:46:36,000
beginning
in verses 8-13.

1137
00:46:36,042 --> 00:46:37,958
A deacon means servant.

1138
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,833
It's a word used in the Bible
of men and of women,

1139
00:46:40,917 --> 00:46:42,833
women like Phoebe
in Romans 16:1

1140
00:46:42,917 --> 00:46:45,167
and Euodia and Syntyche,
I think it's in Philippians.

1141
00:46:45,250 --> 00:46:49,750
And it's coming
alongside of the elders.

1142
00:46:49,833 --> 00:46:52,292
So we have
roughly 50 elders.

1143
00:46:52,333 --> 00:46:55,875
We have
roughly 550 deacons.

1144
00:46:55,958 --> 00:46:58,667
And it'll talk about
qualifications for male deacons,

1145
00:46:58,750 --> 00:47:00,708
women deacons.

1146
00:47:00,792 --> 00:47:02,458
I won't unpack it all.

1147
00:47:02,500 --> 00:47:04,708
We do believe women
have all the spiritual gifts.

1148
00:47:04,792 --> 00:47:07,625
We do believe that women
are gifted to lead and to teach

1149
00:47:07,667 --> 00:47:09,333
and to love
and to serve.

1150
00:47:09,417 --> 00:47:13,042
We do believe in every way
that women are called to offices

1151
00:47:13,125 --> 00:47:14,917
of leadership
in the church.

1152
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:18,250
We call them deacons,
along with godly men.

1153
00:47:18,333 --> 00:47:20,458
And in addition to that,
we have elders.

1154
00:47:20,500 --> 00:47:23,833
And all of that comes out of
1 Timothy 2 and 1 Timothy 3

1155
00:47:23,917 --> 00:47:27,583
because what God's intent
in creation is still to this day

1156
00:47:27,667 --> 00:47:31,583
God's intent in the church,
God's intent in the church.

1157
00:47:31,667 --> 00:47:35,500
And the hard, cold, sad truth
is in most churches,

1158
00:47:35,542 --> 00:47:37,667
all the work is getting
done by the women.

1159
00:47:37,750 --> 00:47:40,000
All the prayer,
all the love, all the service

1160
00:47:40,042 --> 00:47:42,375
is getting done
by the women,

1161
00:47:42,458 --> 00:47:45,500
and the men, like Adam,
are silently, cowardly,

1162
00:47:45,542 --> 00:47:48,792
passively just letting
women serve God

1163
00:47:48,833 --> 00:47:51,167
and not doing their part.

1164
00:47:51,208 --> 00:47:54,292
And God wants that not
to be the case in our church.

1165
00:47:54,333 --> 00:47:56,292
The third question,
since I'm in the midst

1166
00:47:56,333 --> 00:47:59,375
of committing exegetical
suicide and I don't have time

1167
00:47:59,458 --> 00:48:02,250
to answer this question,
but we'll have a huge series

1168
00:48:02,333 --> 00:48:04,917
that kicks off in January
for 11 weeks called,

1169
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:06,958
"Real Marriage,"
answering this question:

1170
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:09,667
What is God's intent for
men and women in the home?

1171
00:48:09,708 --> 00:48:13,333
Ephesians 5:21-33, I'll only
make a few cursory comments

1172
00:48:13,417 --> 00:48:15,458
by way of introduction.

1173
00:48:15,500 --> 00:48:18,833
Grace and I are going to answer
this question for 11 weeks,

1174
00:48:18,917 --> 00:48:20,750
starting January 15th.

1175
00:48:20,833 --> 00:48:23,500
Please pray
for Mars Hill Church.

1176
00:48:23,542 --> 00:48:26,375
It's crazy time.

1177
00:48:26,458 --> 00:48:32,375
We're up almost 2,500 people
from the same Sundays last year.

1178
00:48:32,458 --> 00:48:34,667
This thing
is a work of God.

1179
00:48:34,708 --> 00:48:36,500
We're a kite
in a hurricane.

1180
00:48:36,542 --> 00:48:38,083
We're just
trying to keep up

1181
00:48:38,167 --> 00:48:40,375
with our senior pastor
named Jesus.

1182
00:48:40,458 --> 00:48:44,167
That's why I'm asking you to
consider nominating yourself,

1183
00:48:44,250 --> 00:48:46,583
preparing yourself
for leadership.

1184
00:48:46,667 --> 00:48:49,500
And in this, we really want to
make sure that the marriages

1185
00:48:49,542 --> 00:48:51,667
and the families are strong
because we believe that

1186
00:48:51,750 --> 00:48:54,375
strong marriages and families
contribute to a strong church,

1187
00:48:54,458 --> 00:48:57,292
and that's good for
all of the city in which

1188
00:48:57,333 --> 00:48:58,875
the church resides.

1189
00:48:58,958 --> 00:49:01,125
And so Grace and I
have written a book,

1190
00:49:01,167 --> 00:49:02,458
and you could pray.

1191
00:49:02,500 --> 00:49:05,125
I mean, we're probably going
to get whacked like a piñata

1192
00:49:05,167 --> 00:49:06,833
on this one because
we're pretty honest.

1193
00:49:06,875 --> 00:49:09,333
But, I mean, we talk about
our sin before marriage.

1194
00:49:09,417 --> 00:49:13,125
Grace talks about her sexual
assault, which no one knows,

1195
00:49:13,167 --> 00:49:15,833
and how we really had some
hard things to work through

1196
00:49:15,875 --> 00:49:18,042
in our marriage,
how I wasn't as humble,

1197
00:49:18,125 --> 00:49:20,000
as good a friend
as I should've been,

1198
00:49:20,083 --> 00:49:22,667
but how in the grace of God
I've learned to become

1199
00:49:22,708 --> 00:49:25,292
a better friend to my wife
so that she can flourish

1200
00:49:25,333 --> 00:49:27,875
and she encourages me,
and how this works together

1201
00:49:27,958 --> 00:49:31,292
practically in a marriage
that starts completely wrong,

1202
00:49:31,333 --> 00:49:33,667
but in the grace of God
gets redeemed and restored

1203
00:49:33,750 --> 00:49:35,458
and renewed.

1204
00:49:35,500 --> 00:49:38,875
And the big idea is that God's
intent in the home is the same

1205
00:49:38,958 --> 00:49:42,042
as God's intent in creation
and in the church,

1206
00:49:42,125 --> 00:49:44,542
and that is that the men
would take responsibility

1207
00:49:44,625 --> 00:49:47,667
and that the women also
would take responsibility,

1208
00:49:47,708 --> 00:49:49,875
and that they would
respect their husbands,

1209
00:49:49,958 --> 00:49:52,833
and that their husbands
would be a source of great love,

1210
00:49:52,917 --> 00:49:56,292
encouragement, affection,
devotion, generosity,

1211
00:49:56,333 --> 00:49:58,500
so that they
might flourish.

1212
00:49:58,542 --> 00:50:01,042
And so Paul starts out
in Ephesians 5:21,

1213
00:50:01,125 --> 00:50:02,750
by way of preface.

1214
00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:05,667
He says to submit to one another
out of reverence for Christ.

1215
00:50:05,708 --> 00:50:09,000
And then he's going to go on,
and he's going to unpack this

1216
00:50:09,042 --> 00:50:12,167
concept, and he's going to say,
"Husbands," what, "your wives"?

1217
00:50:12,250 --> 00:50:15,167
"Love them, like
Christ loved the church."

1218
00:50:15,208 --> 00:50:16,875
Was Christ a bully?

1219
00:50:16,958 --> 00:50:18,167
No.

1220
00:50:18,250 --> 00:50:19,542
Was Christ selfish?

1221
00:50:19,625 --> 00:50:20,875
No.

1222
00:50:20,958 --> 00:50:22,208
Was Christ arrogant?

1223
00:50:22,292 --> 00:50:24,333
No.

1224
00:50:24,375 --> 00:50:26,500
"Husbands, love your wives
like Christ loved the church."

1225
00:50:26,583 --> 00:50:28,833
How many men know
that's an impossible task?

1226
00:50:28,875 --> 00:50:31,625
Men, you and I,
for the rest of our lives,

1227
00:50:31,667 --> 00:50:34,833
if we are graced of God
to be husbands,

1228
00:50:34,875 --> 00:50:37,500
we're going to be working,
by the grace of God,

1229
00:50:37,583 --> 00:50:40,417
for the rest of our lives
to even try and get close

1230
00:50:40,500 --> 00:50:43,375
to that call
that God has for us.

1231
00:50:43,458 --> 00:50:45,333
I tell you what,
I love my wife.

1232
00:50:45,375 --> 00:50:46,625
I really do.

1233
00:50:46,667 --> 00:50:50,000
I don't yet love her
as Christ loves the church.

1234
00:50:50,042 --> 00:50:53,208
Sometimes, some days, some ways,
I feel like I'm getting close,

1235
00:50:53,292 --> 00:50:56,125
and then I realize how
much more work I have to do

1236
00:50:56,167 --> 00:50:58,000
by the grace of God.

1237
00:50:58,083 --> 00:50:59,917
And it says, "Wives,"
you're supposed to what,

1238
00:51:00,042 --> 00:51:01,583
"your husbands"?

1239
00:51:01,667 --> 00:51:03,000
"Respect them."

1240
00:51:03,042 --> 00:51:05,792
So men, let's give them
a shortcut and be respectable.

1241
00:51:05,833 --> 00:51:07,583
Through humility,
through repentance,

1242
00:51:07,667 --> 00:51:11,667
through taking responsibility,
it makes it easier for our

1243
00:51:11,750 --> 00:51:14,583
wives, and women
in general, to respect us.

1244
00:51:14,667 --> 00:51:17,500
And when he says to submit
to one another out of reverence

1245
00:51:17,542 --> 00:51:20,167
for Christ, and he goes on
to talk about men loving

1246
00:51:20,208 --> 00:51:23,708
and women respecting,
that means that he gets

1247
00:51:23,792 --> 00:51:26,375
to be the umpire as to
whether or not he's respected;

1248
00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:29,500
she gets to be the umpire as
to whether or not she's loved.

1249
00:51:29,583 --> 00:51:31,667
And this is like
two pedals on a bike.

1250
00:51:31,750 --> 00:51:33,375
This is how a couple
makes progress.

1251
00:51:33,458 --> 00:51:35,125
He loves,
she respects.

1252
00:51:35,167 --> 00:51:38,875
He takes responsibility,
and she helps him glorify God.

1253
00:51:38,958 --> 00:51:42,500
They work together, and that's
exactly where Paul is going

1254
00:51:42,542 --> 00:51:45,167
here in Ephesians 5.

1255
00:51:45,250 --> 00:51:47,583
"Wives, submit to your own
husbands, as to the Lord.

1256
00:51:47,667 --> 00:51:49,708
"For the husband
is the head of the wife

1257
00:51:49,792 --> 00:51:52,000
"even as Christ
is the head of the church,

1258
00:51:52,083 --> 00:51:54,000
his body, of which
he is the Savior."

1259
00:51:54,042 --> 00:51:56,875
It doesn't say that men should
be the head of their home.

1260
00:51:56,958 --> 00:51:59,292
It says that men
are the head of the home.

1261
00:51:59,333 --> 00:52:01,500
It doesn't say that
Christ should be the head

1262
00:52:01,542 --> 00:52:02,833
of the church.

1263
00:52:02,917 --> 00:52:05,250
It says that Christ is
the head of the church!

1264
00:52:05,333 --> 00:52:06,583
So men,
here's the truth.

1265
00:52:06,667 --> 00:52:09,500
The question is not-- 
whether or not you are the leader.

1266
00:52:09,542 --> 00:52:12,542
The question is are
you a good or bad leader?

1267
00:52:12,625 --> 00:52:14,667
That's the only question.

1268
00:52:14,708 --> 00:52:17,042
Some of you say,
"No, no, no, I don't lead."

1269
00:52:17,125 --> 00:52:18,375
Yes, you do.

1270
00:52:18,458 --> 00:52:20,125
You lead like Adam led.

1271
00:52:20,167 --> 00:52:25,208
You led through passivity
and cowardness and cowardice.

1272
00:52:25,292 --> 00:52:28,000
The question is not,
"Are you the head?"

1273
00:52:28,083 --> 00:52:32,500
The question is, "Are you
a good head or a bad head?

1274
00:52:32,583 --> 00:52:33,917
"Is your
wife flourishing?

1275
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:35,208
Are your
children flourishing?"

1276
00:52:35,292 --> 00:52:37,625
Some of you guys say,
"I'm glad I don't have

1277
00:52:37,667 --> 00:52:39,125
to worry about that.
I'm single."

1278
00:52:39,167 --> 00:52:40,417
Yes, you do.

1279
00:52:40,500 --> 00:52:42,125
You're supposed
to start loving right now,

1280
00:52:42,167 --> 00:52:44,333
before you even perhaps
meet the woman that God

1281
00:52:44,375 --> 00:52:46,083
would have you to marry.

1282
00:52:46,167 --> 00:52:49,000
This is not a time for you
single men to extend your

1283
00:52:49,042 --> 00:52:53,208
adolescence,
to just be irresponsible,

1284
00:52:53,292 --> 00:52:55,833
to abuse women,
to take advantage of women,

1285
00:52:55,875 --> 00:52:58,625
to be a consumer,
not a producer,

1286
00:52:58,667 --> 00:53:02,167
to act like a boy,
even though you're just a man

1287
00:53:02,250 --> 00:53:04,292
who really
needs to grow up.

1288
00:53:04,333 --> 00:53:07,167
We call them
boys who can shave.

1289
00:53:07,250 --> 00:53:11,083
Boys who
can shave, right?

1290
00:53:11,167 --> 00:53:12,542
And here's what happens.

1291
00:53:12,625 --> 00:53:14,500
Men are waiting longer
than ever to marry:

1292
00:53:14,542 --> 00:53:17,250
late 20s, early 30s,

1293
00:53:17,333 --> 00:53:19,167
and they're acting
like boys the whole time.

1294
00:53:19,250 --> 00:53:20,875
And let me
tell you the truth.

1295
00:53:20,958 --> 00:53:26,000
When it comes to getting older,
single women are like wine.

1296
00:53:26,083 --> 00:53:27,917
They get better with age.

1297
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,417
Single men are like milk.

1298
00:53:30,500 --> 00:53:36,083
[congregation laughing]

1299
00:53:36,167 --> 00:53:38,417
It's true.

1300
00:53:38,500 --> 00:53:41,333
And any single guy who
denies that is proving my point.

1301
00:53:41,375 --> 00:53:43,500
[congregation laughing]

1302
00:53:43,542 --> 00:53:46,917
"No, I'm not.
I disagree."

1303
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:51,000
We know.

1304
00:53:51,083 --> 00:53:52,917
So at Mars Hill,
we want men--

1305
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:54,625
and I know
you won't all marry,

1306
00:53:54,667 --> 00:53:56,625
and you can live a fully
God-glorifying life

1307
00:53:56,667 --> 00:54:00,667
like Jesus did,
as a single virgin,

1308
00:54:00,708 --> 00:54:02,583
but most of us
are going to marry

1309
00:54:02,667 --> 00:54:05,000
and most of us
are going to have kids.

1310
00:54:05,042 --> 00:54:07,583
And most of you men who
are single, are not ready,

1311
00:54:07,667 --> 00:54:09,667
and many of you
men got married

1312
00:54:09,708 --> 00:54:12,292
and you
weren't ready, either.

1313
00:54:12,333 --> 00:54:13,792
So what do we do?

1314
00:54:13,833 --> 00:54:15,583
How many of you,
in hearing this,

1315
00:54:15,667 --> 00:54:18,792
how many of you women
feel like, "I'm a sinner.

1316
00:54:18,833 --> 00:54:23,500
"Boy, "respect"? I just--I laughed
at that submissive word.

1317
00:54:23,542 --> 00:54:25,125
I thought that was
cute, you know?"

1318
00:54:25,167 --> 00:54:26,458
The Holy Spirit was like,

1319
00:54:26,500 --> 00:54:28,792
"I can change people, 
but I also want to heal you."

1320
00:54:28,833 --> 00:54:32,625
And submitting to him as my first love
and trusting him with my heart,

1321
00:54:32,667 --> 00:54:36,500
trusting him with being able to protect me
and to lead me and to grow me

1322
00:54:36,583 --> 00:54:39,875
and looking to him for that first 
before looking to Shawn,

1323
00:54:39,958 --> 00:54:41,208
that's where it had to start.

1324
00:54:41,292 --> 00:54:44,333
It had to start with my heart, 
seeing my identity as a child of God.

1325
00:54:44,375 --> 00:54:46,833
When you see yourself in light
of Christ, then you see yourself

1326
00:54:46,875 --> 00:54:49,917
as worthy and then 
when he brings someone to lead you,

1327
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,417
you can trust that, you know?

1328
00:54:52,500 --> 00:54:54,833
How many of you men,
in reading this, you're like,

1329
00:54:54,875 --> 00:54:56,917
"I'm a sinner.
If that's the job description,

1330
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:59,042
I fall short"?

1331
00:54:59,125 --> 00:55:01,000
See, this is to
show us our sin,

1332
00:55:01,083 --> 00:55:04,500
not to destroy us, but to
invite us to Jesus for help.

1333
00:55:04,583 --> 00:55:06,000
And here's what
I'm not saying.

1334
00:55:06,083 --> 00:55:09,583
I'm not saying that a man
is an ultimate authority, right,

1335
00:55:09,667 --> 00:55:11,417
because if a man
breaks the law,

1336
00:55:11,500 --> 00:55:12,917
the wife
could call the cops.

1337
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:15,500
If a man's out of line,
she can call the elders.

1338
00:55:15,583 --> 00:55:17,000
Over everybody
and everything is Jesus.

1339
00:55:17,083 --> 00:55:19,208
We're not saying that
men are in charge.

1340
00:55:19,292 --> 00:55:22,500
We're saying that men are
to lovingly love, serve, lead

1341
00:55:22,542 --> 00:55:24,417
their families like
Christ does the church.

1342
00:55:24,500 --> 00:55:26,792
Number two, we're not
saying that men are smarter,

1343
00:55:26,833 --> 00:55:28,625
more gifted
or competent.

1344
00:55:28,667 --> 00:55:30,792
We know that.

1345
00:55:30,833 --> 00:55:32,167
Right?

1346
00:55:32,250 --> 00:55:33,792
We're not
saying that at all.

1347
00:55:33,833 --> 00:55:36,417
Number three, we're not saying
that women should submit to men.

1348
00:55:36,500 --> 00:55:38,833
Like, I would never look
at my 14-year-old daughter,

1349
00:55:38,875 --> 00:55:41,125
"Sweetheart,
just submit to men."

1350
00:55:41,167 --> 00:55:44,667
Ha ha,
I would never say that!

1351
00:55:44,750 --> 00:55:50,500
What we're talking about
is not men, ladies, one man.

1352
00:55:50,583 --> 00:55:51,875
Right?

1353
00:55:51,958 --> 00:55:55,125
You shouldn't marry
any man you can't trust.

1354
00:55:55,167 --> 00:55:59,208
You marry a man you trust,
and you help him to glorify God

1355
00:55:59,292 --> 00:56:03,750
because if he's a Christian that
should be his deepest desire.

1356
00:56:03,833 --> 00:56:07,792
This is to protect women
from all kinds of horrible men,

1357
00:56:07,833 --> 00:56:09,792
and this is so that
women and men,

1358
00:56:09,833 --> 00:56:12,500
in the context of marriage,
would have that kind of loving

1359
00:56:12,542 --> 00:56:15,833
friendship where they learn
to really trust one another,

1360
00:56:15,917 --> 00:56:18,583
rather than hide in shame
from one another.

1361
00:56:18,667 --> 00:56:20,250
I know a lot of testimonies sound like,

1362
00:56:20,333 --> 00:56:23,375
"Okay, I was horrible, Jesus yay, 
everything's fine."

1363
00:56:23,458 --> 00:56:26,417
We were horrible, Jesus,
and not everything's fine.

1364
00:56:26,500 --> 00:56:30,250
Like it hasn't been like, 
"I'm totally different now, yay."

1365
00:56:30,333 --> 00:56:33,333
I think one of the biggest things
is when someone at work

1366
00:56:33,417 --> 00:56:36,375
came up to me just recently, 
it was like a month ago,

1367
00:56:36,458 --> 00:56:38,583
and they're like, "Why aren't you 
a [bleep] anymore?"

1368
00:56:38,667 --> 00:56:40,583
And I just asked them,
"What do you mean?

1369
00:56:40,667 --> 00:56:41,917
What does that mean?"

1370
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:43,958
They're like, "Well, you don't seem 
to boss people around,

1371
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,208
"like you aren't here 
as often as you used to be.

1372
00:56:46,292 --> 00:56:49,000
Are you working full time?"
I was just like God is awesome.

1373
00:56:49,083 --> 00:56:52,208
I want you to enjoy
the grace of God individually.

1374
00:56:52,292 --> 00:56:55,333
I want you to enjoy the
grace of God in your marriage.

1375
00:56:55,375 --> 00:56:58,208
I want you to enjoy the
grace of God in your family,

1376
00:56:58,292 --> 00:57:01,375
and I want that river of God's
grace to flow to your kids,

1377
00:57:01,458 --> 00:57:03,167
your grandkids,
your great-grandkids,

1378
00:57:03,250 --> 00:57:06,375
your great-
great-great-grandkids.

1379
00:57:06,458 --> 00:57:09,000
And it all starts right now
with some of you really

1380
00:57:09,042 --> 00:57:11,000
getting serious
about Jesus.

1381
00:57:11,042 --> 00:57:13,542
Some of you borrowed
the faith of your parents,

1382
00:57:13,625 --> 00:57:15,667
or you have been borrowing
the faith of others,

1383
00:57:15,750 --> 00:57:18,333
maybe even some of you men,
you've been borrowing the faith

1384
00:57:18,417 --> 00:57:21,833
of your wife,
which often happens.

1385
00:57:21,917 --> 00:57:25,583
Today you need to
come to your own faith.

1386
00:57:25,667 --> 00:57:27,583
You need to
decide for yourself,

1387
00:57:27,667 --> 00:57:30,375
"Yes, I'm going
to trust in Jesus.

1388
00:57:30,458 --> 00:57:33,583
"Yes, I may have walked in here
as someone who didn't know God

1389
00:57:33,667 --> 00:57:36,000
"in Christ, but I'm going
to walk out of here

1390
00:57:36,042 --> 00:57:39,542
by the grace of God, as someone
who knows God in Christ."

1391
00:57:39,625 --> 00:57:41,500
And some of you,
you're trying to deal

1392
00:57:41,542 --> 00:57:43,708
with the sin of your past
from your family.

1393
00:57:43,792 --> 00:57:46,125
And let me say, you can
unpack your family baggage

1394
00:57:46,167 --> 00:57:50,167
all the way back
to the Garden of Eden.

1395
00:57:50,250 --> 00:57:54,583
And the hope for them, and
the hope for you is the same.

1396
00:57:54,667 --> 00:57:56,500
Jesus came.

1397
00:57:56,583 --> 00:57:58,500
Jesus forgives sin.

1398
00:57:58,583 --> 00:58:00,792
Jesus takes away shame.

1399
00:58:00,833 --> 00:58:03,375
Jesus makes people new.

1400
00:58:03,458 --> 00:58:05,875
Jesus pours
the Holy Spirit in them.

1401
00:58:05,958 --> 00:58:08,292
Jesus gives them
new desires.

1402
00:58:08,333 --> 00:58:10,667
Jesus gives them
a new identity.

1403
00:58:10,708 --> 00:58:13,667
Jesus gives them
a new eternity.

1404
00:58:13,708 --> 00:58:18,167
Jesus gives them a new power
to live out of this new identity

1405
00:58:18,250 --> 00:58:20,333
as a new person.

1406
00:58:20,417 --> 00:58:24,250
And Ephesians 5 says
he took responsibility for us.

1407
00:58:24,333 --> 00:58:27,667
And this is what I'm asking
you men to do, like Jesus;

1408
00:58:27,750 --> 00:58:30,667
not as Jesus,
but like Jesus.

1409
00:58:30,750 --> 00:58:33,750
Jesus took what was
not his fault, our sin,

1410
00:58:33,833 --> 00:58:36,083
and he made it
his responsibility.

1411
00:58:36,167 --> 00:58:38,458
That's how Christ
loved the church.

1412
00:58:38,500 --> 00:58:41,625
He went to the cross,
and he poured himself out,

1413
00:58:41,667 --> 00:58:44,917
and he died in our
place for our sins,

1414
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:47,417
and he rose
as our Savior.

1415
00:58:47,500 --> 00:58:49,875
And as you give
your sin to Jesus,

1416
00:58:49,958 --> 00:58:53,875
as you give your shame
to Jesus, he says, quote,

1417
00:58:53,958 --> 00:58:57,667
"It is finished,"
and he takes care of everything

1418
00:58:57,750 --> 00:58:59,625
that needs to be
taken care of.

1419
00:58:59,667 --> 00:59:01,500
He takes your sin away.

1420
00:59:01,542 --> 00:59:03,292
He gives you
his righteousness.

1421
00:59:03,333 --> 00:59:05,083
He takes
your death away.

1422
00:59:05,167 --> 00:59:06,792
He gives you his life.

1423
00:59:06,833 --> 00:59:08,792
He takes your
condemnation away.

1424
00:59:08,833 --> 00:59:10,667
He gives you
his salvation.

1425
00:59:10,750 --> 00:59:12,583
He takes you from
Adam as your father,

1426
00:59:12,667 --> 00:59:14,792
to God as your Father,

1427
00:59:14,833 --> 00:59:17,792
and he raises you up as
matriarchs and patriarchs,

1428
00:59:17,833 --> 00:59:21,333
women and men of faith,
belonging to God,

1429
00:59:21,417 --> 00:59:23,542
filled with the Holy Spirit,

1430
00:59:23,625 --> 00:59:27,292
sent to the earth with a mission
that begins with marriage

1431
00:59:27,333 --> 00:59:30,583
and children and a legacy,
so that after you,

1432
00:59:30,667 --> 00:59:33,292
your grandkids,
your great-grandkids,

1433
00:59:33,333 --> 00:59:36,833
your great-great-great-
grandkids look back on this day.

1434
00:59:36,917 --> 00:59:39,583
And when the question is asked,
"What made a difference,

1435
00:59:39,667 --> 00:59:42,625
"where did it all change,
how did that legacy

1436
00:59:42,667 --> 00:59:45,708
"of sin and death that
had plagued our family

1437
00:59:45,792 --> 00:59:47,833
for generations,
where did it end?"

1438
00:59:47,875 --> 00:59:50,417
they will tell
the story of this day.

1439
00:59:50,500 --> 00:59:53,708
"There was a day when my
great-great-grandmother,

1440
00:59:53,792 --> 00:59:57,000
"my great-great-grandfather,
they met Jesus.

1441
00:59:57,083 --> 00:59:59,000
"They were filled
with the Holy Spirit.

1442
00:59:59,083 --> 01:00:02,625
"They became a new person, and
the legacy of faith that comes

1443
01:00:02,667 --> 01:00:06,625
"from them has now been echoing
and ringing for generations,

1444
01:00:06,667 --> 01:00:08,833
"and I am part
of their legacy of faith.

1445
01:00:08,875 --> 01:00:12,208
"I am fruit hanging on that
branch of our family tree,

1446
01:00:12,292 --> 01:00:14,333
by the grace of God."

1447
01:00:14,375 --> 01:00:16,583
And what I'm begging
you to do today,

1448
01:00:16,667 --> 01:00:19,792
is to give yourself to Jesus,
to give your sin to Jesus,

1449
01:00:19,833 --> 01:00:23,083
to give your shame to Jesus,
to give your children to Jesus,

1450
01:00:23,167 --> 01:00:25,125
to give your
grandchildren to Jesus,

1451
01:00:25,167 --> 01:00:27,417
to give your great-
grandchildren to Jesus!

1452
01:00:27,500 --> 01:00:29,833
And that's
why we're here!

1453
01:00:29,875 --> 01:00:33,708
[congregation applauding]

1454
01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:35,792
A total 180.

1455
01:00:35,833 --> 01:00:39,500
We just love the idea of starting a family, 
like building a legacy,

1456
01:00:39,542 --> 01:00:43,000
like over the course of a couple 
of weeks I think we were thinking about it

1457
01:00:43,042 --> 01:00:45,542
and then we had a conversation 
when we went on vacation

1458
01:00:45,625 --> 01:00:48,375
and we're like, "I think I want kids.
I think I want kids too."

1459
01:00:48,458 --> 01:00:49,917
Yeah I was like, "Is that okay?

1460
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:51,333
'Cause I know that's
kinda changing things."

1461
01:00:51,375 --> 01:00:56,042
God has been redeeming us 
just issue by issue,

1462
01:00:56,125 --> 01:00:58,458
making our hearts new.

1463
01:00:58,500 --> 01:01:02,833
Kelly makes it easy to lead her.

1464
01:01:02,875 --> 01:01:06,083
She's kind, patient, 
she's loving.

1465
01:01:06,167 --> 01:01:09,167
Conviction, 
that's what leads to that.

1466
01:01:09,208 --> 01:01:14,458
She is the biggest help
I have ever had.

1467
01:01:14,500 --> 01:01:20,875
God shows his love for me 
through her and it makes it

1468
01:01:20,958 --> 01:01:26,417
a joy and an honor to lead her.

1469
01:01:26,500 --> 01:01:28,292
I'm really excited!

1470
01:01:28,333 --> 01:01:30,083
[congregation laughing]

1471
01:01:30,167 --> 01:01:33,583
You don't know
what God has for you,

1472
01:01:33,667 --> 01:01:37,125
but it's wonderful,
and it's for a whole lot

1473
01:01:37,167 --> 01:01:39,833
of people who have
your same last name.

1474
01:01:39,875 --> 01:01:42,667
Father God,
thank you that you're a Father.

1475
01:01:42,750 --> 01:01:46,583
Thank you that the Bible
doesn't end in Genesis 3.

1476
01:01:46,667 --> 01:01:50,333
"Sin and death came,
the end."

1477
01:01:50,375 --> 01:01:53,292
God, thank you
for sending your Son.

1478
01:01:53,333 --> 01:01:56,167
Jesus,
thank you for coming.

1479
01:01:56,250 --> 01:02:01,875
Thank you for giving your life
in our place for our sins,

1480
01:02:01,958 --> 01:02:04,583
as our substitute
and Savior.

1481
01:02:04,667 --> 01:02:07,083
Jesus, I pray for those
right now who come from

1482
01:02:07,167 --> 01:02:09,167
Christian families,
that they would continue

1483
01:02:09,208 --> 01:02:11,750
that legacy of faith.

1484
01:02:11,833 --> 01:02:14,667
I pray, Lord God, for those who
have been borrowing the faith

1485
01:02:14,708 --> 01:02:17,042
of their families, that they
would stop borrowing the faith

1486
01:02:17,125 --> 01:02:19,667
of their families, and they
would come to their own faith.

1487
01:02:19,750 --> 01:02:22,083
I pray for those women
who are here, Lord God,

1488
01:02:22,167 --> 01:02:24,583
and their hearts are
devastated and broken

1489
01:02:24,667 --> 01:02:27,000
because the men in their
life have sinned against them,

1490
01:02:27,042 --> 01:02:28,875
and harmed them,
and damaged them,

1491
01:02:28,958 --> 01:02:31,292
and I pray like the woman's
testimony we started with,

1492
01:02:31,333 --> 01:02:33,333
that if they start
with trusting one man,

1493
01:02:33,417 --> 01:02:35,750
we pray that his name
would be Jesus.

1494
01:02:35,833 --> 01:02:38,167
Pray for those men, Lord God,
who, in hearing this,

1495
01:02:38,208 --> 01:02:40,000
are devastated.

1496
01:02:40,042 --> 01:02:42,000
They have
failed miserably.

1497
01:02:42,042 --> 01:02:44,083
But God,
you redeem gloriously.

1498
01:02:44,167 --> 01:02:47,167
I pray that even on this day
they would repent to their wife,

1499
01:02:47,250 --> 01:02:49,250
their children,
to the women in their lives,

1500
01:02:49,333 --> 01:02:51,875
to the women they've slept with,
to the women they've taken

1501
01:02:51,958 --> 01:02:55,875
advantage of, that God,
they would ask for forgiveness,

1502
01:02:55,958 --> 01:02:58,292
and that they would change
by the grace of God.

1503
01:02:58,333 --> 01:03:01,667
And, Holy Spirit, I'm
inviting you to change people,

1504
01:03:01,708 --> 01:03:04,458
to bring them
from death to life,

1505
01:03:04,500 --> 01:03:07,125
to bring them from the death
that they inherit in Adam

1506
01:03:07,167 --> 01:03:10,542
to the born-again, eternal life
they receive in Jesus Christ.

1507
01:03:10,625 --> 01:03:12,833
God, please save
people right here,

1508
01:03:12,875 --> 01:03:15,750
right now, this day,
and save their children,

1509
01:03:15,833 --> 01:03:17,667
and save their grandchildren,

1510
01:03:17,708 --> 01:03:19,750
and save their
children's children's children.

1511
01:03:19,833 --> 01:03:21,750
And God,
I pray for these people,

1512
01:03:21,833 --> 01:03:24,667
that one day in the glorious
resurrected kingdom of God,

1513
01:03:24,708 --> 01:03:27,875
there would be
an enormous family reunion,

1514
01:03:27,958 --> 01:03:30,583
where people would
tell the story that God

1515
01:03:30,667 --> 01:03:34,292
got a hold of them, and
it made a difference forever.

1516
01:03:34,333 --> 01:03:36,042
In Jesus' name, amen.