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[music]

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I have been a mixed martial
arts fan for a lot of years,

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and I was really excited
recently when the UFC

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finally had their first event
here in Seattle,

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so I went with Pastor Jamie.

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It was a birthday present
for my assistant, Nate,

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and we had a buddy of ours go
who is a trainer of fighters

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and was an Olympic silver
medalist and a great guy.

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And so we rolled
into the Seattle Center

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and what an interesting day
it was.

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The two simultaneous events were
cage fighting and the Vegfest.

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The Vegfest was
a vegetable fest.

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I like vegetables;
I'm for them.

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But it doesn't seem to me like
they need their own event.

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It just seems like--because
they don't do a lot, right?

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Like, there's a vegetable.

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Yes.

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Look at it.

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Okay.

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Anything else?
No.

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Well, that's the same thing
the vegetables do at my house.

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I don't know if we all need
to get together for this.

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And it was pretty fascinating
walking in

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because you had two groups
of people colliding,

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the UFC fans
and the Vegfesters.

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And you could pretty much tell
who was going to what event.

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The heavy guys who were drunk
in Affliction t-shirts

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were not going to the Vegfest.

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The skinny guys in skinny jeans
riding bicycles with hemp shoes

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were not going to
the cage fight.

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It was pretty fantastic.

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And sometimes what happens is
that people misunderstand

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this particular sport.

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They don't understand
a few things

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that I want to share with you.

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Number one, there is
respect among the fighters.

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They'll come out
and touch gloves.

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Sometimes they'll hug,
which is weird.

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Doesn't seem like
a hugging moment.

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Like, "I'm gonna put you in
the hospital, dear friend."

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It's a weird moment.

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Oftentimes even during
the fight, right,

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like if a guy gets
kicked or punched or hit

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and it was a good hit,

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they'll give each other
a little fist bump like,

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"Hey, that was great.

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"I don't even remember my name.

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Good job, nice job."

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And sometimes going into
the third round, which,

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apart from a title fight, is
the last round, if it's close,

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they'll start with a hug.

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And afterward, they'll
oftentimes hug.

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And yesterday, one guy
was laying on the ground

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and the other guy just got down
on his hands and knees

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and was talking to him,
visiting with him,

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and they had a little
Vegfest moment

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right there in the octagon.

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So there is respect.

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Number two, there are rules.

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You may not know this.

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All right, there are rules.

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Like, I was thinking, "What
would I do if I was in a fight?"

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And I thought, "I
would bring a gun,"

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because I don't know jujitsu,

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but it's like
rock, paper, scissors,

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gun beats
jujitsu, right?

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Like whatever you pull out, like
kung-fu, karate, wrestling, gun,

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gun always wins.

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So I thought,
"I would bring a gun."

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But you can't bring a gun
because there are rules.

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So there's respect, there's
rules, so that there can be

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resolution so that, eventually,
the fight's over, it's done.

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They don't fight
in the dressing room,

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and then go to Denny's because
it's the only thing open late

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and fight again,
and then fight on the plane,

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and then show up at each other's
house and fight some more.

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It's a resolution.

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It comes to an end.

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Somebody's hand gets raised,
somebody's hand stays down,

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there's resolution.

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So there's respect, there are
rules, there's resolution,

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and it's all overseen by
a referee, somebody who says,

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"This is acceptable, this
is unacceptable behavior."

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Now what could this possibly
have to do with Jesus?

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Everything, right?

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Today in Luke 17:1-10, we're
going to deal with the issue

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of how to fight to
the glory of God.

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Not necessarily a cage fight,
though the principles

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could apply, but conflict,
argument, disagreement.

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Some of you are very religious.

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You say, "Oh, well,
I'm a Christian.

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I don't have conflict."

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Yes, you do.

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You're annoying everyone.

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You just don't know it.

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And we tend to have conflict
with people that we're

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closest to and we love the most,
so you know who I live

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in closest proximity with?

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My wife, Grace.

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Do you think we
ever have a fight?

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We do.

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Not like an octagon, in-
the-clinch kind of fight,

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but we have arguments
and we have disagreements.

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And here's the big question.

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Number one,
are you gonna fight?

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Number two, are you gonna
fight to the glory of God?

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The question, will
you fight, is a yes.

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Your friendships, your
family, you're gonna fight.

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Your siblings,
you're gonna fight.

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The second question is: Are you
gonna fight to the glory of God?

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Are you gonna
fight with respect?

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Are you gonna fight with rules?

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Are you gonna fight
to resolution?

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Does Jesus
get to be the referee?

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And today in Luke 17:1-10,
Jesus shows up as the referee,

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he lays down the rules so that
we can respectfully work

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toward resolution.

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Here's what he has to say.

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Luke 17:1-4, how to fight
to the glory of God.

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"And he," that is Jesus,
"said to his disciples,

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"'Temptations to sin
are sure to come,

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"'but woe to the one
through whom they come!

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"'It would be better for him
if a millstone

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"'were hung around his neck
and he were cast into the sea

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"'than that he should cause one
of these little ones to sin.

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Pay attention to yourselves!'"

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All right, not just
everybody else's business,

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look at yourself.

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"'If your brother
sins, rebuke him.'"

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That's your fellow Christian.

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"'And if he repents,
forgive him,

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"'and if he sins against you
seven times in the day,

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"'and turns to you seven
times, saying, "I repent,"

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you must forgive him.'"

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So Jesus here is talking about
two things that happen

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all the time
in human relationships,

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sin and being sinned against.

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Someone's sinned and
someone's sinned against.

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And how do we
resolve that fight?

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What do we do?

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What are the rules?

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Jesus gives us three things
to do in dealing with our sin.

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So when, not if, when you are
the one who sins against

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someone else, all right,
this is what you need to do.

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Now, let me say this.

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Sin is word, it's
deed, it's motive,

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it's commission where
we do a bad thing,

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it's omission where
we don't do the thing

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we were supposed to do.

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Sin shows up all the time.

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We're guilty of sinning,
breaking God's laws overtly

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and/or in principle.

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That's the way that it is.

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And we sin against God
and we sin against others.

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We just do.

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So let me tell you, though,
that sin is--it's not quirks.

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Sin is not quirks.

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Any of you married
to someone with quirks?

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That's a bizarre question.

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If you are married, it's to
someone with quirks, right?

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Quirks.

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Like, it's not a sin
to be repented of.

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They're just quirky.
That's their thing.

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They got a little eccentricity,

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Like, I was in a coffee shop
the other day

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and I heard a woman cackle,

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like massive,
loud, haunting,

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children-crying cackle.

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She was with her girlfriends.

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They all laugh,
she thought she was laughing.

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She didn't laugh.

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She cackled.

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I ducked and was
looking for a broom.

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It was--

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It was scary.

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As a grown man,
I was scared.

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And immediately,
I prayed for her husband.

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Silently.

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I didn't stand up or anything.

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But I thought, "Lord,
be with that man.

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How scary that must be,
particularly at night."

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But it's not a sin.

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It's a cackle, all right?

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You don't repent
of--you marry someone,

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you're friends with someone,
you're roommates with someone,

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you're in community group with
someone, they may have a quirk.

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That's not a sin.

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We don't repent of
quirks, just sins.

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And also too, I'll tell you that
a sin is--it's not a mistake

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or an imperfection, right?

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How many of you are klutzy?

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Don't raise your hand.

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Okay, you're gonna
hurt somebody.

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But like--you know?

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How many of you are klutzy?
You're klutzy.

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You just are, right?

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Like, you trip over stuff,
your car's got a lot of dents.

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You know, you're going
to serve, you know,

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maybe you're married and you're
bringing dinner to your spouse,

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"Ahh!"

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You're wearing spaghetti.

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You know, is that a sin?
No.

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Is it annoying?
Yep.

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But it's not a sin,
it's a mistake, right?

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Like with kids, like let's
say you got a little kid

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and, I don't know,
it's your fault, right?

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You didn't put a lid
on the sippy cup,

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you gave 'em an open cup, right,
which is--it's your fault, man.

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I mean, it's your fault.

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You give 'em an open cup,
what are they gonna do?

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They're gonna spill it because,
you know, they're gangly,

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they're still working
on their motor skills.

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It's like, "What are
you doing, Johnny?

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You spilled the milk."

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Johnny should say,
"What are you doing, Dad?

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Where's the lid?"
Right?

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He made a mistake.

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That's where I get frustrated
with parents

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who discipline kids
for mistakes.

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You're a kid.
You're gonna trip.

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You're gonna wet yourself.
You're gonna drop your milk.

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Hopefully you don't do it
all at the same time,

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but even if you
do, it's not a sin.

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It's exciting,
but it's not a sin.

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It's a mistake
and mistakes happen.

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So we're not talking
about quirks,

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we're not talking
about mistakes,

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but we're talking about sins,

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offenses against God
and other people.

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And we got to learn to deal
with quirks and mistakes because

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we're all weird sinners
and imperfect people and we're

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just gonna need to learn to
endure with one another.

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But when it comes
to sin, Jesus says,

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"Here are three things to do
when we are dealing with sin,

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or the potential to sin."

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Number one, do not give in
to the temptation to sin.

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Jesus says,
"Temptation will come."

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It's not if, it's when.

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You can live your whole life
trying to reduce all of your

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external stimulation,
temptation to sin.

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You should, that's good, but
even within you, the Bible says,

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particular in the book of James,
sin is not only out there,

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it's in here.

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It's not just in the world,

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it's in my what the Bible
calls flesh.

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So temptation is
going to be constant.

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You will always have to fight
against temptation.

249
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:44,542
But don't be discouraged,
don't be dissuaded,

250
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:46,333
and don't act defeated.

251
00:11:46,375 --> 00:11:49,208
Temptation
and sin are different.

252
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:50,667
Jesus was tempted.

253
00:11:50,833 --> 00:11:53,208
Luke 4, Matthew 4 says
that Jesus was tempted.

254
00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:58,333
Hebrews 4 says Jesus was tempted
in every way that we are,

255
00:11:58,375 --> 00:12:00,333
yet without sin.

256
00:12:00,375 --> 00:12:04,167
So Jesus never sinned,
but he was tempted.

257
00:12:04,167 --> 00:12:08,375
Similarly, Jesus says, "You
surely will be tempted."

258
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:14,333
But that doesn't mean we have to
give in to temptation and sin.

259
00:12:14,375 --> 00:12:18,000
We can fight it, we can resist
it, we can say no to it.

260
00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:21,875
And Satan will confuse some
of you because you will think,

261
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,833
"I was tempted.

262
00:12:23,875 --> 00:12:25,500
"I can't believe I was tempted.

263
00:12:25,542 --> 00:12:27,500
I feel so bad
about being tempted."

264
00:12:27,667 --> 00:12:30,833
If you didn't give in
to the temptation, rejoice.

265
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,833
It was a victory, not a defeat.

266
00:12:33,875 --> 00:12:35,167
Be encouraged.

267
00:12:35,333 --> 00:12:37,667
It was a win for you,
not a loss.

268
00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:41,667
So, number one, do not give
in to temptation and sin.

269
00:12:41,708 --> 00:12:44,833
Number two, do not
tempt others to sin.

270
00:12:44,875 --> 00:12:49,833
Jesus here in
Luke 17:1-4, he says,

271
00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:54,333
"Sin and temptation
to sin will come to you,

272
00:12:54,375 --> 00:13:00,208
but woe to the one that sin
comes not just to, but through."

273
00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:04,000
This means that we are
tempting others to sin,

274
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:08,333
maybe even tempting
them to sin with us.

275
00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:11,500
And Jesus speaks particularly
of those who are young,

276
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:15,000
and the commentators here
have a bit of disagreement

277
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,500
as to what exactly he means.

278
00:13:17,667 --> 00:13:21,000
Now, what he is clear about is
that tempting someone to sin

279
00:13:21,042 --> 00:13:22,833
is a horrendous evil.

280
00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:25,000
A millstone in that
day was an enormous,

281
00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:29,542
giant stone that would be
used for the grinding of food.

282
00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:32,333
And Jesus gives the picture that
if you're someone who likes

283
00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:35,333
to tempt others to sin,
rather than a life jacket,

284
00:13:35,375 --> 00:13:37,833
God would put around you
a millstone and throw you

285
00:13:37,875 --> 00:13:40,833
into the sea, not to save
you, but to sink you.

286
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,500
That's a strong statement
from the loving Lord Jesus.

287
00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:47,208
Some here think that the
reference to tempting the young

288
00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:52,167
can be to those who tempt
children, lead them into sin,

289
00:13:52,167 --> 00:13:53,708
get them into trouble.

290
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:57,333
This is a strong word for us
parents and grandparents

291
00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:00,833
and teachers and caretakers
and Sunday school leaders

292
00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:03,667
with the example we set.

293
00:14:03,708 --> 00:14:06,667
Others think that it may refer
to those who are not young

294
00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:10,833
in age, but young in faith,
that older Christians

295
00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:13,667
should not be confusing
new Christians.

296
00:14:13,667 --> 00:14:17,000
Older Christians should not
be tempting new Christians.

297
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,500
Older Christians
should not involve new,

298
00:14:20,542 --> 00:14:26,333
young Christians in such things
as false teaching

299
00:14:26,375 --> 00:14:29,167
or getting into debates
over secondary matters

300
00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:33,000
that don't really require
their time right now.

301
00:14:33,042 --> 00:14:36,167
They need to get to know Jesus
and the Bible and not get

302
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,833
into all of your petty little
controversies and issues.

303
00:14:38,875 --> 00:14:43,333
Not including them in gossip
and backbiting and division.

304
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:45,833
And this would mean,
for those of you who are single,

305
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,500
if you are a Christian

306
00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:49,167
and someone is
a brand-new Christian,

307
00:14:49,333 --> 00:14:51,000
it means not
tempting them to sin.

308
00:14:51,042 --> 00:14:53,875
They may not understand
Christian relationships yet.

309
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,833
They may not understand holiness
and propriety and chastity,

310
00:14:57,875 --> 00:15:00,875
and you could confuse
them or tempt them.

311
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,333
Those kinds of things.

312
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:06,167
I think Jesus is perhaps
even speaking to both groups,

313
00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:11,542
that those who are young should
not be led into temptation by

314
00:15:11,667 --> 00:15:15,833
those who are older, and those
who are newer in Christianity

315
00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:18,500
should not be led into
temptation by those

316
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:20,667
who are older in Christianity.

317
00:15:20,833 --> 00:15:22,167
Here's my question to you.

318
00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:24,667
Number one, where are
you being tempted?

319
00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:31,500
Number two, how are you
leading others into temptation?

320
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:35,333
This may even be in light of
the context of controversy

321
00:15:35,375 --> 00:15:40,833
and conflict, you
compelling them toward

322
00:15:40,875 --> 00:15:47,000
raging, anger, escalation.

323
00:15:47,167 --> 00:15:51,000
You could do this through
gossip, through antagonizing,

324
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:56,000
through goading them on,
leading them toward temptation.

325
00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:58,667
Now, they are responsible
for their sin,

326
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:04,000
but you are responsible for your
participation in the temptation.

327
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,708
So, number one, when sin comes,
fight it, say no to it, kill it.

328
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:11,042
Number two,
sin will come to you,

329
00:16:11,167 --> 00:16:13,167
sin should not
come through you.

330
00:16:13,167 --> 00:16:15,375
Don't be an agent of the devil,

331
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,833
leading others toward
temptation to sin.

332
00:16:17,833 --> 00:16:21,333
And number three, if you
violate principles one and two,

333
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:24,000
Jesus says--because we will.

334
00:16:24,167 --> 00:16:27,167
It doesn't mean it's okay, it
doesn't mean we should sin or

335
00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:33,333
cause others to sin, but when we
do, repent and seek forgiveness.

336
00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:34,833
That's exactly what he says.

337
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,500
He uses the word “repent.”

338
00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:39,000
It's a big word.

339
00:16:39,042 --> 00:16:40,667
The prophets use it a lot.

340
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,667
The Bible uses it frequently.

341
00:16:42,833 --> 00:16:45,667
And it's not just
that we're sick,

342
00:16:45,833 --> 00:16:48,500
but that we're sinful
and we're guilty,

343
00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:50,833
that we're lawbreakers
and rebels.

344
00:16:50,875 --> 00:16:54,000
And it's not popular
to talk about this today,

345
00:16:54,167 --> 00:16:57,500
but it's important because
the Bible says it is.

346
00:16:57,500 --> 00:17:02,375
Repentance is absolutely
connected to Christianity.

347
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:05,667
When we give in to
temptation and sin,

348
00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:09,667
we are to repent to God and
the people we sinned against.

349
00:17:09,833 --> 00:17:13,333
Can't just tell God you're sorry
and not deal with the people

350
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,000
who have been implicated
and affected.

351
00:17:16,167 --> 00:17:19,667
Furthermore, when we lead
others into temptation,

352
00:17:19,833 --> 00:17:22,500
when we participate in
the temptation of others,

353
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:25,500
we have to also repent
to God and them.

354
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,833
"I'm sorry.
I did wrong.

355
00:17:27,875 --> 00:17:30,667
"What do I need to do
to make this right?

356
00:17:30,833 --> 00:17:32,500
"There's no excuse for me.

357
00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:35,167
I'm coming clean."

358
00:17:35,333 --> 00:17:38,167
This is really important
for a church like ours,

359
00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:40,875
where we practice community
and we've got community groups.

360
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,667
We want you to have friendships
and do life together.

361
00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:46,667
You will annoy one another.

362
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,833
You will frustrate one another.

363
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:52,500
You will sin
against one another.

364
00:17:52,667 --> 00:17:55,333
You will.
You will.

365
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:58,000
And so Jesus' words
here are very important.

366
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,000
When the Holy Spirit convicts
us of sin, we need to repent.

367
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:05,375
Now, let me say what repentance
is not, because I believe

368
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:08,667
it can be one of these words
that are often used,

369
00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:11,833
but rarely understood.

370
00:18:11,833 --> 00:18:14,875
Grace and I just finished up
recently a book on marriage

371
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:18,208
and we got a whole chapter
in there on fighting.

372
00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:21,333
All right, any good book on
marriage has to deal with

373
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:25,333
conflict resolution and sin,
repentance, and forgiveness.

374
00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:28,667
It just has to.
It just has to.

375
00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:31,333
If you're married for
more than 17 minutes,

376
00:18:31,375 --> 00:18:35,167
you know that you're married to
someone who's sinful,

377
00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:37,500
and they know they're married
to someone who's sinful.

378
00:18:37,542 --> 00:18:40,333
And, again, you
need respect, rules,

379
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:45,000
and a referee to get you
towards some sort of resolution.

380
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:49,000
So here's what we put in
the book, my sweet wife.

381
00:18:49,167 --> 00:18:53,500
Repentance is not getting
caught, but coming clean.

382
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:59,542
What do you need to tell them
that you've not told them?

383
00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:03,167
Got very serious all
of a sudden, didn't it?

384
00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:05,833
Number two, repentance
is not denying our sin.

385
00:19:05,875 --> 00:19:07,208
"I didn't do it.

386
00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:09,167
"I don't know what
you're talking about.

387
00:19:09,167 --> 00:19:10,500
I'm innocent."

388
00:19:10,667 --> 00:19:11,875
It's not denying it.

389
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,333
Number three, repentance is
not diminishing our sin

390
00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:17,000
by downplaying or
partially confessing it.

391
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,542
"Well, it's not a big deal."

392
00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:20,333
Or, "You know, I did my best."

393
00:19:20,375 --> 00:19:21,708
Or, "Hey, nobody's perfect."

394
00:19:21,833 --> 00:19:23,208
Or, "It could have gone worse."

395
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:25,500
Or, "I'll tell you
part of what I did,

396
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:27,500
but not the whole
of what I did."

397
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,833
That's not repentance.

398
00:19:28,875 --> 00:19:30,333
Repentance is not
managing our sin,

399
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,000
trying to keep it
under control.

400
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,542
"Yeah, I have this addiction,
compulsion, problem,

401
00:19:34,667 --> 00:19:36,667
"proclivity, but it's okay.

402
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:39,833
"I'm not doing it all the time,
just some of the time.

403
00:19:39,833 --> 00:19:41,333
I think I've got it managed."

404
00:19:41,333 --> 00:19:42,667
No.

405
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,833
Because Jesus died for sin,
we don't manage it,

406
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,333
we put it to death.

407
00:19:46,333 --> 00:19:48,833
We kill it because
he died for it.

408
00:19:48,833 --> 00:19:52,333
And he died for it so
that we could kill it.

409
00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:56,167
Additionally, repentance is
not blame shifting our sin,

410
00:19:56,167 --> 00:19:58,500
passing the responsibility
to someone else.

411
00:19:58,667 --> 00:20:00,500
"Yeah, I did it,
but you made me.

412
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,667
"I did it, but it's
because you neglected me.

413
00:20:02,833 --> 00:20:04,667
"I got angry, but
you made me angry.

414
00:20:04,833 --> 00:20:06,167
"Yeah, I strayed,

415
00:20:06,167 --> 00:20:08,167
but it's because you weren't
meeting my needs."

416
00:20:08,167 --> 00:20:13,167
It's not blaming someone else,
even the devil, for your sin.

417
00:20:13,333 --> 00:20:15,333
It's owning it.

418
00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:18,167
Repentance is not
excusing our sin.

419
00:20:18,208 --> 00:20:20,500
"There were circumstances.
I was tired.

420
00:20:20,542 --> 00:20:22,208
"My dad never hugged me.

421
00:20:22,333 --> 00:20:27,500
You know, I've got a reason that
in my mind makes good sense."

422
00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:29,875
Repentance is not about
someone else's sin.

423
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,000
It's about my sin.

424
00:20:32,167 --> 00:20:34,833
Religious people are
always aware of your sin,

425
00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:36,167
not their sin.

426
00:20:36,333 --> 00:20:40,333
Jesus is here talking about
being aware of our sin.

427
00:20:40,375 --> 00:20:42,167
That's exactly what he says.

428
00:20:42,167 --> 00:20:45,000
He says to keep
an eye on yourself,

429
00:20:45,167 --> 00:20:48,333
“pay attention to yourselves.”

430
00:20:48,333 --> 00:20:53,500
Sometimes we're so aware of all
that they do that's so bad

431
00:20:53,667 --> 00:20:58,333
and we overlook all of our
own guilt and hypocrisy.

432
00:20:58,375 --> 00:21:02,333
Additionally, repentance is not
about manipulating God

433
00:21:02,375 --> 00:21:04,333
and/or people for blessing.

434
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:07,333
"Well, if I tell God I'm
sorry, he must bless me, right?

435
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,333
"I know I shouldn't be
dating this person,

436
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,833
"but if I confess it to Jesus,
he'll save them

437
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,167
"and make it all better, right?

438
00:21:14,167 --> 00:21:18,042
"I know I shouldn't do this,
but maybe if I say I'm sorry,

439
00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:19,833
"then that person
will forgive me.

440
00:21:19,833 --> 00:21:22,333
"Maybe I'll get my job
back or my spouse back

441
00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:25,667
or my friend back
or my dignity back."

442
00:21:25,708 --> 00:21:29,667
It's not doing something so
that you can get something.

443
00:21:29,833 --> 00:21:33,667
It's just doing something
because it's right.

444
00:21:33,833 --> 00:21:37,000
Additionally, repentance
is not worldly sorrow,

445
00:21:37,042 --> 00:21:39,333
something Paul speaks
of to the Corinthians,

446
00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:44,000
because worldly sorrow is just
feeling bad, but not changing.

447
00:21:44,042 --> 00:21:48,375
Some of you feel bad,
but you don't change.

448
00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:51,333
That's worldly sorrow,
not true repentance.

449
00:21:51,375 --> 00:21:53,667
Repentance is not merely
grieving the consequences

450
00:21:53,708 --> 00:21:57,875
of your sin, but hating
the evil of the sin itself.

451
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,500
"Yes, this hurt people.
Yes, this had implications.

452
00:22:00,667 --> 00:22:02,500
"Yes, this caused complications.

453
00:22:02,667 --> 00:22:06,333
"And I grieve all of that, but
I grieve the sin the most,

454
00:22:06,333 --> 00:22:11,167
not just the consequences
of the sin, the sin itself."

455
00:22:11,167 --> 00:22:14,500
And friends, sin, again,
it's commission and omission.

456
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:18,167
It's doing the wrong thing;
it's not doing the right thing.

457
00:22:18,167 --> 00:22:20,500
And it's grieving all of that.

458
00:22:20,667 --> 00:22:23,833
And lastly, repentance is not
merely confessing your sin and

459
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:30,000
not just grieving your sin, but
as I said, killing your sin.

460
00:22:30,167 --> 00:22:32,875
Right, the Bible says over
and over and over these words:

461
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:37,000
"Christ died for our sins."

462
00:22:37,042 --> 00:22:38,708
That's the gospel.

463
00:22:38,833 --> 00:22:40,500
That's the centerpiece
of the gospel.

464
00:22:40,667 --> 00:22:42,000
That's the Bible.

465
00:22:42,042 --> 00:22:43,833
That's the centerpiece
of the Bible.

466
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,500
Christ died for our sins.

467
00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,542
Our God became our substitute.

468
00:22:49,667 --> 00:22:52,167
He died for our sin.

469
00:22:52,167 --> 00:22:56,167
Our sin is put to death in
Christ so we can put our sin

470
00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:58,667
to death because of Christ.

471
00:22:58,667 --> 00:23:02,167
Jesus rose from death,
sent the Holy Spirit

472
00:23:02,333 --> 00:23:05,833
so that we can live a new life.

473
00:23:05,875 --> 00:23:08,000
And repentance is all of that.

474
00:23:08,167 --> 00:23:12,833
Come clean, kill the sin
because of Jesus,

475
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:18,833
by the Holy Spirit's power, a
new life patterned after Jesus,

476
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:23,042
who himself was tempted,
but never sinned.

477
00:23:23,167 --> 00:23:25,500
Right, that's it.

478
00:23:25,667 --> 00:23:29,500
Okay, for us, when we
sin, not if, when we sin,

479
00:23:29,667 --> 00:23:31,500
not that we should sin,

480
00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:35,167
but that on this side
of eternity we will.

481
00:23:35,333 --> 00:23:37,167
This is what we do.

482
00:23:37,167 --> 00:23:39,333
Those of us who are guilty
of sin,

483
00:23:39,375 --> 00:23:41,833
when we are guilty
of sin, we repent.

484
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,375
Now, what about those who
have been sinned against,

485
00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:48,167
not the sinner,
but the victim?

486
00:23:48,333 --> 00:23:50,833
What do they do?

487
00:23:50,875 --> 00:23:54,500
Well, Jesus uses
this word repeatedly,

488
00:23:54,667 --> 00:23:56,375
“forgive.”

489
00:23:56,500 --> 00:24:02,167
He actually says, "Forgive
him," or, "Forgive them."

490
00:24:02,167 --> 00:24:04,833
Forgive.

491
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,667
The sinner is to repent.

492
00:24:07,833 --> 00:24:11,167
The victim is to forgive.

493
00:24:11,333 --> 00:24:12,708
Okay?

494
00:24:12,833 --> 00:24:16,000
And right now, the Holy Spirit's
gonna get you.

495
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,167
He's gonna bring to mind sin

496
00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:20,500
that you need to talk
to God about

497
00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:23,167
and talk to someone about.

498
00:24:23,167 --> 00:24:26,333
And he's also gonna bring to
mind the faces, the names,

499
00:24:26,375 --> 00:24:30,333
the stories of people who
have sinned against you.

500
00:24:30,375 --> 00:24:33,333
And I don't want to make
light of it in any way.

501
00:24:33,375 --> 00:24:36,833
Some of it is very damaging,
very grievous, very horrific.

502
00:24:36,875 --> 00:24:41,500
Some of you have suffered
real, horrendous evil.

503
00:24:41,542 --> 00:24:44,500
I don't want to
diminish it in any way.

504
00:24:44,542 --> 00:24:47,500
And God will bring to mind
that person's face, their name,

505
00:24:47,667 --> 00:24:50,667
the story, the history,
the circumstance,

506
00:24:50,833 --> 00:24:54,500
and he's gonna ask
you to forgive them.

507
00:24:54,667 --> 00:24:57,000
He's gonna ask you
to forgive them.

508
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:01,333
And Jesus speaks of
dealing with others' sin

509
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:03,000
similarly in three ways.

510
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,833
He says, number one,
do rebuke those who sin.

511
00:25:06,833 --> 00:25:08,333
That's what he says.

512
00:25:08,375 --> 00:25:10,667
That's exactly what he says.

513
00:25:10,833 --> 00:25:14,333
"If your brother
sins, rebuke him."

514
00:25:14,333 --> 00:25:16,167
Rebuke him.

515
00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:19,167
Don't talk about
them; talk to them.

516
00:25:19,333 --> 00:25:20,542
Right?

517
00:25:20,667 --> 00:25:25,000
Don't gossip; confront.

518
00:25:25,167 --> 00:25:26,833
You can talk to God.

519
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,167
"God, please open their heart.
Open my heart.

520
00:25:29,167 --> 00:25:32,167
Give me the words to say.
Give me the ears to hear."

521
00:25:32,167 --> 00:25:33,875
You can talk to God about it.

522
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,542
It may be okay to seek wise counsel
from one person, saying,

523
00:25:36,667 --> 00:25:38,542
"Okay, I got to go talk to them.

524
00:25:38,667 --> 00:25:41,375
"How do you think I should do
this in a way

525
00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:42,833
"that is holy and helpful?

526
00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:44,833
"'Cause I don't want
to make it worse.

527
00:25:44,875 --> 00:25:47,333
"If it gets worse,
I want it not to be

528
00:25:47,375 --> 00:25:50,167
"because I threw logs
on the fire.

529
00:25:50,208 --> 00:25:53,042
I'm trying to throw
water on the fire."

530
00:25:53,167 --> 00:25:55,833
But ultimately,
you got to go talk to them.

531
00:25:55,875 --> 00:25:58,708
Don't be a coward
and send an e-mail.

532
00:25:58,833 --> 00:26:00,875
Don't be a coward
and send a text.

533
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,000
Don't be a coward
and leave a voicemail.

534
00:26:03,167 --> 00:26:05,000
Don't be a coward
and write a letter.

535
00:26:05,167 --> 00:26:07,875
Get over your fear of
man, deal with them.

536
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,375
Look them in the eye.

537
00:26:09,500 --> 00:26:11,208
Do it privately,
don't do it publicly.

538
00:26:11,333 --> 00:26:13,375
Don't have, you know,
a huge audience.

539
00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:15,875
I mean, if you've had a
criminal activity against you,

540
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,833
bring a witness, that's fine.

541
00:26:17,875 --> 00:26:21,167
But I'm talking about general,
interpersonal conflict.

542
00:26:21,208 --> 00:26:23,167
You and a friend
are going at it.

543
00:26:23,333 --> 00:26:24,667
You got a disagreement.

544
00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:28,542
Sit down, look each other
in the eye, talk about it.

545
00:26:28,667 --> 00:26:31,167
Rebuke them.

546
00:26:31,333 --> 00:26:36,000
Say, "Here is how you sinned.

547
00:26:36,167 --> 00:26:39,208
"This is your sin.
This is your sin.

548
00:26:39,333 --> 00:26:42,167
"I love you.
Sin leads to death.

549
00:26:42,333 --> 00:26:45,708
"If we don't kill this, it's
going to kill our relationship.

550
00:26:45,833 --> 00:26:48,167
"So let's not let it
kill our relationship.

551
00:26:48,333 --> 00:26:51,000
"Let's kill it
by the grace of God

552
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,500
because of the work of Jesus."

553
00:26:53,542 --> 00:26:58,167
This is where every relationship
has to have Jesus in it.

554
00:26:58,333 --> 00:27:01,000
He's part of all
of our relationships.

555
00:27:01,167 --> 00:27:04,333
It's not just you two,
he's there too.

556
00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:08,667
Rebuke them.

557
00:27:08,708 --> 00:27:10,667
This means you
can't be a coward.

558
00:27:10,833 --> 00:27:12,833
You can't have
fear of man issues.

559
00:27:12,875 --> 00:27:15,833
You can't be the person who
wants everyone to like you

560
00:27:15,875 --> 00:27:18,667
and life to be simple and it
never to be complicated

561
00:27:18,833 --> 00:27:22,167
and nobody to get upset
and you don't want any conflict

562
00:27:22,333 --> 00:27:25,333
and you just don't like it when
everybody isn't getting along.

563
00:27:25,375 --> 00:27:28,667
You got to repent of that
because that's a sin,

564
00:27:28,667 --> 00:27:30,708
because you're not
really loving them.

565
00:27:30,833 --> 00:27:34,000
If you really love someone,
you need to rebuke them.

566
00:27:34,042 --> 00:27:36,833
God rebukes us and he loves us.

567
00:27:36,875 --> 00:27:39,875
He's showing us our sin so that
it can be dealt with

568
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:44,667
and our relationship with him
can be stronger as a result.

569
00:27:44,667 --> 00:27:47,833
And parents, this starts
when the kids are young.

570
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:52,167
It starts when
the kids are young.

571
00:27:52,333 --> 00:27:55,167
I had a situation recently
with--it was actually this week,

572
00:27:55,333 --> 00:27:56,542
with Alexie.

573
00:27:56,667 --> 00:27:58,167
She's my 7-year-old,
blonde-haired,

574
00:27:58,333 --> 00:27:59,542
blue-eyed daughter.

575
00:27:59,667 --> 00:28:01,167
She looks like her mom.

576
00:28:01,208 --> 00:28:03,667
They bought me a brand-new
daddy chair, it's super comfy.

577
00:28:03,708 --> 00:28:06,833
I was sitting in my daddy chair
and Alexie comes up to me

578
00:28:06,875 --> 00:28:09,000
with big puppy dog eyes
and a quivering lip

579
00:28:09,167 --> 00:28:12,000
and, you know, tears are sort
of welling up in her eyes.

580
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,833
And she looks at
me, "Papa Daddy?"

581
00:28:14,875 --> 00:28:17,000
My heart goes out, "What?
What, sweetheart?

582
00:28:17,042 --> 00:28:18,333
What's going on?"

583
00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:20,542
"They won't let me
play the Wii."

584
00:28:20,667 --> 00:28:25,500
This is a huge issue,
all right?

585
00:28:25,667 --> 00:28:28,333
It's like call 9-1-1, right?

586
00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:29,833
It's a big issue.

587
00:28:29,875 --> 00:28:32,000
"Daddy, they won't
let me play the Wii."

588
00:28:32,167 --> 00:28:37,500
Okay, my first thought was, "I
should probably get involved,"

589
00:28:37,667 --> 00:28:39,333
you know?

590
00:28:39,375 --> 00:28:41,167
And then I thought, "No,

591
00:28:41,208 --> 00:28:44,000
she probably needs
to get courageous."

592
00:28:44,167 --> 00:28:46,500
I said, "Okay sweetie pie,
did you talk to them?

593
00:28:46,667 --> 00:28:48,833
"Did you tell them that you're
feeling excluded,

594
00:28:48,875 --> 00:28:51,167
"like they're sinning
against you?

595
00:28:51,167 --> 00:28:54,333
And that you feel left out
and your feelings are hurt?"

596
00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:56,542
"Well, no, I was hoping
you would tell them."

597
00:28:56,667 --> 00:28:58,000
Okay, all right.

598
00:28:58,042 --> 00:28:59,833
It starts early.

599
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,208
"Okay, you need to be brave.

600
00:29:02,333 --> 00:29:04,875
"You need to brave, little
Lexie, you got to be brave.

601
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,333
"Go in there.

602
00:29:06,375 --> 00:29:08,667
"You sinned against me
and my feelings are hurt

603
00:29:08,708 --> 00:29:11,167
and I want to talk about this."

604
00:29:11,208 --> 00:29:14,833
She says, "Oh, I'll
just let it go."

605
00:29:14,833 --> 00:29:19,833
No, you can't let it go,
because if you love them,

606
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,500
you need to rebuke them

607
00:29:21,667 --> 00:29:23,667
so you can have a relationship
with them.

608
00:29:23,667 --> 00:29:26,500
Otherwise what happens is, kids
do the same thing as adults,

609
00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:29,333
we just start
avoiding each other.

610
00:29:29,375 --> 00:29:33,500
Married couples who will
tell me, "We never fight."

611
00:29:33,542 --> 00:29:37,333
What that tells me is
you're passive aggressive,

612
00:29:37,375 --> 00:29:42,000
you avoid one another, you
really don't love one another,

613
00:29:42,167 --> 00:29:44,875
and you're not really
doing life together.

614
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,000
So the lack of fighting
doesn't encourage me at all.

615
00:29:48,167 --> 00:29:50,167
In fact, it worries me.

616
00:29:50,208 --> 00:29:53,375
It means I live over here,
they live over there.

617
00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:57,167
We don't fight at all 'cause
we don't even know each other.

618
00:29:57,333 --> 00:29:59,667
I would rather have a little
conflict that leads to

619
00:29:59,833 --> 00:30:03,500
resolution and intimacy than
separate, cold, functional,

620
00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:08,500
parallel lives--in all
the close relationships.

621
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:13,500
So I told her,
"Little Lexie, be brave."

622
00:30:13,667 --> 00:30:15,667
I prayed for her.

623
00:30:15,667 --> 00:30:18,167
She mustered up her 7-year-old
little girl courage.

624
00:30:18,208 --> 00:30:20,667
I know I don't look much
like a 7-year-old girl,

625
00:30:20,708 --> 00:30:22,667
but use your imagination.

626
00:30:22,708 --> 00:30:25,167
And she marched in there
and she talked to 'em

627
00:30:25,208 --> 00:30:27,542
and they worked it out.

628
00:30:27,667 --> 00:30:30,375
So here's what I need you
to do this week, right?

629
00:30:30,500 --> 00:30:32,333
Put your Alexie
face on, all right?

630
00:30:32,500 --> 00:30:35,667
Buck up, little
camper, be brave.

631
00:30:35,708 --> 00:30:38,000
Some of you have been
sinned against for years,

632
00:30:38,042 --> 00:30:40,208
some of you have just
overlooked and ignored it,

633
00:30:40,333 --> 00:30:44,000
some of you have let it go
'cause you love peace

634
00:30:44,042 --> 00:30:47,167
and comfort more than you
love God and that person.

635
00:30:47,208 --> 00:30:49,167
You need to repent of that.

636
00:30:49,208 --> 00:30:51,833
Some of you really need to
just sit down and say,

637
00:30:51,875 --> 00:30:54,000
"Okay, we're going to have
to talk about this."

638
00:30:54,167 --> 00:30:56,375
Some of you have been
bullied for years.

639
00:30:56,500 --> 00:30:59,667
And this person doesn't
even know they're a bully.

640
00:30:59,667 --> 00:31:01,833
They just think that that's
how the relationship works.

641
00:31:01,875 --> 00:31:03,833
And you know you're
being pushed around.

642
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:07,500
You need to rebuke them, okay?

643
00:31:07,667 --> 00:31:11,000
The Holy Spirit is going to tell
you who that is, I don't know,

644
00:31:11,167 --> 00:31:14,000
how to do it, when to
do it, where to do it.

645
00:31:14,167 --> 00:31:17,833
Pray for your heart that you
do it in love, but rebuke them.

646
00:31:17,833 --> 00:31:20,333
Number two, when you're dealing
with someone else's sin,

647
00:31:20,375 --> 00:31:22,333
do forgive them.

648
00:31:22,375 --> 00:31:24,333
Jesus uses that language.

649
00:31:24,375 --> 00:31:27,500
He actually says,
quote, "Forgive them."

650
00:31:27,667 --> 00:31:30,708
Now he says, "If they
repent, forgive them."

651
00:31:30,833 --> 00:31:34,333
He doesn't tell you what to do
in this particular section

652
00:31:34,500 --> 00:31:36,833
with those who don't repent.

653
00:31:36,833 --> 00:31:39,667
But I'm going to tell you
the teaching of the Bible

654
00:31:39,833 --> 00:31:41,875
in totality is to forgive them.

655
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,000
And it doesn't mean that
they're forgiven forever,

656
00:31:44,042 --> 00:31:47,667
it means that you let go
of your right to judgment

657
00:31:47,667 --> 00:31:50,500
and you leave it in the hands
of God.

658
00:31:50,667 --> 00:31:53,708
Because friends, we've only
got two options: we forgive,

659
00:31:53,833 --> 00:31:56,000
or we become bitter.

660
00:31:56,167 --> 00:31:59,167
Those are the only options
for those who are victims,

661
00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:01,167
having been sinned against.

662
00:32:01,333 --> 00:32:05,500
You forgive and leave it to
the Lord or you hold on to it

663
00:32:05,667 --> 00:32:07,542
and you become bitter.

664
00:32:07,667 --> 00:32:10,333
If you do, you let them
own you, control you,

665
00:32:10,375 --> 00:32:14,875
manipulate you every day
for the rest of your life.

666
00:32:16,875 --> 00:32:19,167
And some of you will
say, "I am bitter,

667
00:32:19,208 --> 00:32:21,667
but I have a good reason,
here's what they did."

668
00:32:21,708 --> 00:32:24,167
And I would say, "You
may have a good reason.

669
00:32:24,208 --> 00:32:25,833
"Perhaps what they
did was atrocious.

670
00:32:25,875 --> 00:32:27,167
"I'm not saying it's okay.

671
00:32:27,333 --> 00:32:30,167
"I'm just saying don't
let it be your identity

672
00:32:30,167 --> 00:32:34,875
“and determine your destiny.

673
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:38,833
Forgive them.”
Forgive them.

674
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,333
Who do you need to forgive?

675
00:32:42,333 --> 00:32:45,042
Who do you need to forgive?

676
00:32:45,167 --> 00:32:48,167
And you need to let them
know that you forgive them.

677
00:32:48,333 --> 00:32:52,333
Number three, in dealing
with others' sin,

678
00:32:52,333 --> 00:32:54,500
do keep rebuking and forgiving.

679
00:32:54,667 --> 00:32:58,542
And Jesus says, "Even if
that's seven times a day,"

680
00:32:58,667 --> 00:33:00,208
that's a lot, right?

681
00:33:00,333 --> 00:33:03,042
How many of you are parents
and sometimes with a kid,

682
00:33:03,167 --> 00:33:06,042
seven times a day would be
awesome if that's all that you

683
00:33:06,167 --> 00:33:10,333
had to tell them, the same
thing over and over, right?

684
00:33:10,333 --> 00:33:11,833
"Do not do that."

685
00:33:11,875 --> 00:33:14,000
You turn around, come
back, "What are you doing?

686
00:33:14,167 --> 00:33:16,000
"You're doing it again.
Do not do that.

687
00:33:16,167 --> 00:33:18,000
"Do not do that.
Do not do that.

688
00:33:18,167 --> 00:33:19,667
Do not--" that's
what parenting is.

689
00:33:19,833 --> 00:33:21,167
You ever read Proverbs?

690
00:33:21,167 --> 00:33:23,000
Proverbs could be
much shorter, right?

691
00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:25,708
But Proverbs is long because
sometimes it says the same thing

692
00:33:25,833 --> 00:33:28,000
over and over and over
and over and over.

693
00:33:28,167 --> 00:33:29,375
Why?

694
00:33:29,500 --> 00:33:32,500
Because that's how
God teaches his kids.

695
00:33:32,667 --> 00:33:35,708
And we're all like kids, we
do it over and over and over.

696
00:33:35,833 --> 00:33:37,708
And God's a Father,
got to keep saying,

697
00:33:37,833 --> 00:33:39,333
"Oh, let's talk
about this again.

698
00:33:39,375 --> 00:33:41,333
"Here we go again.
Here we go again.

699
00:33:41,375 --> 00:33:43,667
Here we go again,"
seven times a day.

700
00:33:43,833 --> 00:33:45,042
So the question is:

701
00:33:45,167 --> 00:33:47,542
At what point in the fight
do you tap out?

702
00:33:47,667 --> 00:33:49,000
You're like, "That's it.

703
00:33:49,042 --> 00:33:50,333
"I'm not rebuking you anymore.

704
00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:52,542
"I'm not forgiving you anymore.
I'm done with you.

705
00:33:52,667 --> 00:33:54,542
"I tapped out in round three,
round four,

706
00:33:54,667 --> 00:33:56,000
"round five, round six.

707
00:33:56,042 --> 00:34:00,375
By round seven, I'm done
with you," in one day.

708
00:34:00,500 --> 00:34:02,833
That's a lot, right?

709
00:34:02,833 --> 00:34:06,667
Seven times you get sinned
against by the same person

710
00:34:06,667 --> 00:34:10,000
in the same way
on the same day.

711
00:34:10,167 --> 00:34:12,000
That's a lot.

712
00:34:12,167 --> 00:34:14,500
Jesus says, "Rebuke, forgive.

713
00:34:14,667 --> 00:34:16,000
Rebuke, forgive."

714
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:19,167
If it takes seven times a day,
and seven is in the Bible

715
00:34:19,167 --> 00:34:21,833
the number of perfection, so
he's kind of just saying here,

716
00:34:21,875 --> 00:34:23,833
"Whatever it takes."

717
00:34:23,833 --> 00:34:27,167
You rebuke 'em, they
repent, you forgive.

718
00:34:27,333 --> 00:34:29,500
That's how it should go.

719
00:34:29,667 --> 00:34:31,167
Where's your number?

720
00:34:31,208 --> 00:34:34,000
At what number,
with what person,

721
00:34:34,042 --> 00:34:37,833
did you just tap out and say,
"That's it, I don't forgive 'em.

722
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:39,667
"I'm bitter.
I'm jaded.

723
00:34:39,708 --> 00:34:41,167
"I'm done.

724
00:34:41,333 --> 00:34:44,708
I'm not even going to try"?

725
00:34:44,833 --> 00:34:47,708
Jesus says, "Don't do that."

726
00:34:47,833 --> 00:34:51,333
Don't do that because if you
love God and you love them,

727
00:34:51,500 --> 00:34:54,667
you're going to keep rebuking
and working toward forgiveness.

728
00:34:54,708 --> 00:34:57,167
Cyril of Alexandria, he
was an early church father,

729
00:34:57,333 --> 00:35:01,000
he had an interesting
statement on this principle.

730
00:35:01,167 --> 00:35:05,000
He said, "We need to deal with
sinners the way that God--"

731
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:09,000
or that rather, "a doctor deals
with those who are sick."

732
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,500
All right, can you imagine
going into your doctor saying,

733
00:35:11,542 --> 00:35:14,500
"I'm sick," he's like,
"This is the sixth time.

734
00:35:14,667 --> 00:35:16,500
"I'm done with you.

735
00:35:16,542 --> 00:35:19,875
"I only treat people who
are sick five times.

736
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,875
After that, you're on your own."

737
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:24,833
All right,
what does a doctor do?

738
00:35:24,833 --> 00:35:27,208
A doctor says,
"So long as you are sick,

739
00:35:27,333 --> 00:35:30,167
"I will treat you and serve you
and help you

740
00:35:30,333 --> 00:35:32,667
toward healing and wellness."

741
00:35:32,833 --> 00:35:34,500
That's what a doctor does.

742
00:35:34,542 --> 00:35:37,667
When we're dealing with people
who have a condition called sin,

743
00:35:37,667 --> 00:35:41,167
we need to have
the attitude of a doctor.

744
00:35:41,167 --> 00:35:44,167
“Any time you're sick,
as long as you're sick,

745
00:35:44,333 --> 00:35:48,167
“I'm going to rebuke you
in love because that's

746
00:35:48,167 --> 00:35:52,333
the treatment plan
that the Lord prescribes.”

747
00:35:52,375 --> 00:35:53,833
And you know what?

748
00:35:53,875 --> 00:35:56,208
We want this when we sin, right?

749
00:35:56,333 --> 00:36:00,167
We want people to lovingly
pursue us, at least you should,

750
00:36:00,333 --> 00:36:03,542
and rebuke us
and not give up on us,

751
00:36:03,667 --> 00:36:06,333
but patiently endure
with us.

752
00:36:06,375 --> 00:36:08,333
And so we need
not be hypocrites,

753
00:36:08,375 --> 00:36:10,667
we need to extend to
others the same grace

754
00:36:10,833 --> 00:36:14,667
that we would hope
be given to us.

755
00:36:14,667 --> 00:36:18,708
Now in saying this, let me tell
you what forgiveness is not,

756
00:36:18,833 --> 00:36:21,167
because again, this
is very important.

757
00:36:21,333 --> 00:36:24,000
Gracie and I put in the book,
"Forgiveness is not denying,

758
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,833
approving, or diminishing sin
that is committed against us."

759
00:36:26,875 --> 00:36:28,333
"Oh, you didn't
do anything wrong.

760
00:36:28,375 --> 00:36:30,333
"It's no big deal.
It's in the past.

761
00:36:30,375 --> 00:36:31,667
I forgot about it."

762
00:36:31,833 --> 00:36:34,000
It's saying, "You know, I
appreciate you recognizing that.

763
00:36:34,167 --> 00:36:37,667
It really bothered me and
it was a big deal to me."

764
00:36:37,833 --> 00:36:40,167
And sometimes people will feel
awkward when they're repenting.

765
00:36:40,167 --> 00:36:42,500
"Ha-ha-ha," they'll try
to make a joke of it.

766
00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:43,833
Say, "You know what?

767
00:36:43,875 --> 00:36:45,667
"I really appreciate
you bringing that up,

768
00:36:45,833 --> 00:36:48,500
"but how about if we just take
the awkward laughter out?

769
00:36:48,667 --> 00:36:50,000
This really was a problem."

770
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:54,208
Make it more awkward,
that's what I'm suggesting.

771
00:36:54,333 --> 00:36:56,833
Right?

772
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,500
Forgiveness is not
naivety and ignoring sin.

773
00:37:00,667 --> 00:37:02,667
It's not saying,
"I'm not going to look.

774
00:37:02,667 --> 00:37:04,000
"I'm not going to ask.

775
00:37:04,167 --> 00:37:07,500
I'm just going to pretend
that I don't even see it."

776
00:37:07,542 --> 00:37:09,667
No, that's not forgiveness.

777
00:37:09,708 --> 00:37:12,333
Forgiveness is eyes open,
knowing the truth,

778
00:37:12,500 --> 00:37:17,333
and choosing to
simply forgive it.

779
00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:20,000
That's forgiveness.

780
00:37:20,167 --> 00:37:25,208
Forgiveness is not naively
ignoring the sinful condition

781
00:37:25,333 --> 00:37:27,667
of people 'cause sometimes
we'll say, "Well, yeah,

782
00:37:27,708 --> 00:37:30,833
you did a bad thing, but you're
a good person," or, you know,

783
00:37:30,875 --> 00:37:33,833
"You're amazing and you just
had a bad day," or, you know,

784
00:37:33,875 --> 00:37:35,500
"You have a good heart."

785
00:37:35,542 --> 00:37:37,000
No, you know what?

786
00:37:37,167 --> 00:37:38,875
Sin is down in the roots.

787
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:43,167
Forgiving someone doesn't
mean you need to pretend that

788
00:37:43,333 --> 00:37:46,000
everything's fine and they're
really good and this was

789
00:37:46,167 --> 00:37:51,333
an aberration, that sin is
a condition down in the roots.

790
00:37:51,375 --> 00:37:54,833
Forgiveness is
not enabling sin.

791
00:37:54,875 --> 00:37:58,667
It's not, "Well, I forgive
you and I'll keep helping you,"

792
00:37:58,667 --> 00:38:01,333
because that
might be enabling.

793
00:38:01,500 --> 00:38:05,333
I'll give you an example that
I see some occurrences of.

794
00:38:05,333 --> 00:38:09,167
A wife in the name of submission
sometimes will just forgive her

795
00:38:09,167 --> 00:38:12,167
husband over and over and over
and over and over and over

796
00:38:12,167 --> 00:38:14,500
and over for some sin, but
he's not really repenting,

797
00:38:14,667 --> 00:38:17,542
he's not putting it to death.

798
00:38:17,667 --> 00:38:20,500
And she's just
enabling him, okay.

799
00:38:20,667 --> 00:38:24,833
And ladies, friends in general,
but wives in particular,

800
00:38:24,875 --> 00:38:27,333
the Bible says,
Genesis 2:18 I think it is,

801
00:38:27,375 --> 00:38:29,333
that a wife is to be a helper.

802
00:38:29,333 --> 00:38:31,167
She's supposed to be helpful.

803
00:38:31,333 --> 00:38:36,500
If she never rebukes, if she
never points out the folly,

804
00:38:36,667 --> 00:38:40,500
if all she does is just forgive
without actually calling him

805
00:38:40,667 --> 00:38:45,333
to repentance, she's not helping
him, she's enabling him.

806
00:38:45,333 --> 00:38:48,042
She's mothering him
and babying him.

807
00:38:48,167 --> 00:38:51,208
And this can be true in
all of our relationships.

808
00:38:51,333 --> 00:38:56,500
You can't forgive someone
without first rebuking them.

809
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:59,500
Now if they're dead or moved
or gone, I understand that.

810
00:38:59,542 --> 00:39:01,333
There may be nothing you can do.

811
00:39:01,375 --> 00:39:04,333
But in as much as you're able,
you have to rebuke them

812
00:39:04,375 --> 00:39:06,833
to really forgive them so
that they see their sin,

813
00:39:06,875 --> 00:39:09,333
so that then they're welcomed
to repent of their sin,

814
00:39:09,375 --> 00:39:12,000
so you're not
enabling their sin.

815
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,000
Forgiveness is not waiting
for someone to acknowledge

816
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,167
their sin, apologize, or repent.

817
00:39:16,208 --> 00:39:18,667
See, a lot of times what happens
is two people

818
00:39:18,708 --> 00:39:20,667
are looking at each other,
"You go first."

819
00:39:20,708 --> 00:39:22,667
"No, you go first."
"No, you go first."

820
00:39:22,708 --> 00:39:24,000
"You go first."

821
00:39:24,167 --> 00:39:26,500
"I'll forgive you as soon
as you say you're sorry."

822
00:39:26,667 --> 00:39:29,000
"Well, if you love me
and you were like Jesus,

823
00:39:29,167 --> 00:39:32,000
"you would forgive me and then
I would say I was sorry

824
00:39:32,167 --> 00:39:33,500
'cause that's how Jesus
does it."

825
00:39:33,667 --> 00:39:35,000
"I'm not Jesus."
"Yeah, I know.

826
00:39:35,167 --> 00:39:36,833
That's why we have
this problem, okay?"

827
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:40,208
So it's not waiting for the
other person to do their part

828
00:39:40,333 --> 00:39:43,708
because there's repentance
and forgiveness.

829
00:39:43,833 --> 00:39:46,833
Forgiveness is not
always the second part.

830
00:39:46,875 --> 00:39:50,000
Sometimes forgiveness
is the first part.

831
00:39:50,167 --> 00:39:54,000
You sin, here it
is, I forgive you.

832
00:39:54,167 --> 00:39:57,167
When you're ready to apologize
and you want to work this out,

833
00:39:57,167 --> 00:40:00,000
my hand is extended to you.

834
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,833
It takes one person to
repent, one person to forgive,

835
00:40:02,875 --> 00:40:05,708
two people to really reconcile.

836
00:40:05,833 --> 00:40:07,500
But you do your part.

837
00:40:07,542 --> 00:40:10,833
That's where Paul says, "In as
much as it is possible with you,

838
00:40:10,875 --> 00:40:13,167
seek to live at
peace with all men."

839
00:40:13,333 --> 00:40:15,208
If you need to repent, repent.

840
00:40:15,333 --> 00:40:16,833
If you need to forgive, forgive.

841
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:22,708
Always try to do your part,
whatever that part might be.

842
00:40:22,833 --> 00:40:25,333
Repentance,
or rather forgiveness,

843
00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:29,167
is not forgetting about the sin
that is committed against us.

844
00:40:29,333 --> 00:40:34,667
Forgive and forget
is foolishness.

845
00:40:34,833 --> 00:40:37,333
You can't forget.

846
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:39,500
You can't forget.

847
00:40:39,542 --> 00:40:42,000
Some of you have had
horrendous evil committed

848
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,500
against you, it's not like,
"I forgive them

849
00:40:44,667 --> 00:40:46,000
and I don't even remember."

850
00:40:46,167 --> 00:40:48,042
You do.

851
00:40:48,167 --> 00:40:51,667
When the Bible says that God
remembers our sin no more,

852
00:40:51,833 --> 00:40:53,500
which it does
in the Old Testament,

853
00:40:53,667 --> 00:40:56,333
one of the prophets, it doesn't
mean God's in heaven going,

854
00:40:56,333 --> 00:40:58,500
"I don't know.
I don't know what they did.

855
00:40:58,667 --> 00:41:00,667
"I don't know where
my car keys are.

856
00:41:00,833 --> 00:41:04,667
I'm very absent-minded," right?

857
00:41:04,708 --> 00:41:09,833
Instead, it means that he
chooses not to interact with us

858
00:41:09,875 --> 00:41:12,167
based upon our sin,
but his grace

859
00:41:12,208 --> 00:41:14,667
if we're believers in Jesus.

860
00:41:14,667 --> 00:41:18,167
It furthermore means that he
does not establish our identity

861
00:41:18,333 --> 00:41:23,167
based on our transgression,
but Jesus' salvation.

862
00:41:24,833 --> 00:41:26,208
But it doesn't mean you forget.

863
00:41:26,333 --> 00:41:28,708
I mean, religious people just
make up these stupid little

864
00:41:28,833 --> 00:41:33,000
bumper sticker–isms that
are very discouraging.

865
00:41:33,042 --> 00:41:35,542
Now the Bible does say
in 1 Corinthians 13

866
00:41:35,667 --> 00:41:38,167
that love keeps no record
of wrong.

867
00:41:38,208 --> 00:41:40,667
So you're not, you know,
like an archaeologist

868
00:41:40,667 --> 00:41:43,667
trying to always dig up history.

869
00:41:43,708 --> 00:41:48,167
But it does mean
you'll remember.

870
00:41:48,333 --> 00:41:50,167
That's what it means.

871
00:41:50,333 --> 00:41:53,833
But you choose not to interact
on behalf of that person

872
00:41:53,833 --> 00:41:56,167
based upon the sin
and transgression.

873
00:41:56,333 --> 00:41:59,167
It means that you want good
for them, that you love them,

874
00:41:59,333 --> 00:42:00,667
that you pursue good for them.

875
00:42:00,833 --> 00:42:02,333
And even if it
hurts emotionally,

876
00:42:02,375 --> 00:42:05,500
you're still willing to
continue to seek good for them.

877
00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:07,833
But it doesn't mean you forget.

878
00:42:07,875 --> 00:42:09,375
It doesn't mean you forget.

879
00:42:09,500 --> 00:42:12,375
I mean, I'll give you a few
analogies that come to mind

880
00:42:12,500 --> 00:42:13,875
throughout the course
of this sermon.

881
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,875
One is I could still remember
early on in ministry an argument

882
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:18,333
between two women.

883
00:42:18,375 --> 00:42:20,833
One was very religious
and the other had a husband

884
00:42:20,875 --> 00:42:22,167
who committed adultery.

885
00:42:22,333 --> 00:42:23,667
And the religious
woman said,

886
00:42:23,833 --> 00:42:25,500
"Well, you're supposed to
forgive and forget."

887
00:42:25,667 --> 00:42:28,000
Adultery?
You don't forget that.

888
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,333
Now you could choose
not to obsess over it

889
00:42:30,333 --> 00:42:31,667
every minute of every day.

890
00:42:31,833 --> 00:42:33,042
You can choose to forgive.

891
00:42:33,167 --> 00:42:35,375
You can choose to try
and save the marriage.

892
00:42:35,500 --> 00:42:38,042
You can choose to do
all kinds of things,

893
00:42:38,167 --> 00:42:42,208
but occasionally you're
going to be reminded of it.

894
00:42:42,333 --> 00:42:46,500
It's not like
the hard drive is erased.

895
00:42:46,667 --> 00:42:52,500
It also means--forgiveness
does--that it is not no longer

896
00:42:52,500 --> 00:42:54,333
feeling the pain
of the transgression

897
00:42:54,375 --> 00:42:56,500
by dying emotionally.

898
00:42:56,667 --> 00:43:02,333
Some people, they will
forgive, but they still grieve.

899
00:43:02,375 --> 00:43:06,167
Or they may forgive and
down the road, years later,

900
00:43:06,167 --> 00:43:10,667
some event or activity sort
of triggers the emotional

901
00:43:10,833 --> 00:43:17,500
remembering of that horrific sin
that was committed against them.

902
00:43:17,667 --> 00:43:22,000
Doesn't mean you won't feel
it, but it means that

903
00:43:22,167 --> 00:43:26,167
you have forgiven it, all right?

904
00:43:26,333 --> 00:43:28,542
The Bible says that
we'll be shedding tears

905
00:43:28,667 --> 00:43:31,667
until we see Jesus and he wipes
them from our eyes.

906
00:43:31,708 --> 00:43:35,167
There will be seasons and
reasons that, yeah, it hurts.

907
00:43:35,167 --> 00:43:37,042
And you're not to
die emotionally.

908
00:43:37,167 --> 00:43:39,333
It's okay to feel
the grief of that.

909
00:43:39,375 --> 00:43:41,333
But it doesn't mean you
haven't forgiven someone.

910
00:43:41,375 --> 00:43:43,667
Now, you can't let that
lead you toward bitterness,

911
00:43:43,833 --> 00:43:48,167
but sometimes you need to pass
through the grieving for sure.

912
00:43:48,333 --> 00:43:51,333
Forgiveness is not
a one-time event.

913
00:43:51,375 --> 00:43:52,875
It's like, "Well,
I forgave them."

914
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,667
Sometimes you got to forgive
'em over and over and over.

915
00:43:55,667 --> 00:43:57,833
Jesus says sometimes it's
because they're going to commit

916
00:43:57,875 --> 00:43:59,833
the same sin over
and over and over,

917
00:43:59,875 --> 00:44:01,500
so you got to keep
forgiving them.

918
00:44:01,667 --> 00:44:04,500
And sometimes you forgive 'em
and then a year or two later,

919
00:44:04,667 --> 00:44:07,667
it bothers you again and you got
to choose to forgive 'em again.

920
00:44:07,833 --> 00:44:09,875
"God, I forgave 'em
and I forgive 'em today.

921
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:11,875
"It bothered me then,
it bothers me today.

922
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,333
I need to forgive again."

923
00:44:14,375 --> 00:44:19,042
Doesn't have to be
a one-time event.

924
00:44:19,167 --> 00:44:21,500
Forgiveness is not full
reconciliation

925
00:44:21,542 --> 00:44:24,167
of the relationship to
its previous state.

926
00:44:24,333 --> 00:44:27,167
It's not like well, you know,
you sinned and said you were

927
00:44:27,333 --> 00:44:30,667
sorry and I forgave you, so we
pick up right where we left off.

928
00:44:30,833 --> 00:44:34,042
Now the truth is sometimes sin
that's repented of and forgiven

929
00:44:34,167 --> 00:44:38,500
can really build trust and
intimacy in a relationship.

930
00:44:38,500 --> 00:44:41,667
You're like, "We had a decent
relationship and then something

931
00:44:41,708 --> 00:44:44,167
"really bad went down,
but we worked through it

932
00:44:44,208 --> 00:44:45,833
and now we're closer than ever."

933
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,667
Sometimes that happens.

934
00:44:47,667 --> 00:44:51,500
And sometimes it is--trust is
gained slowly, lost quickly.

935
00:44:51,500 --> 00:44:55,667
Furthermore, what they
did was so damaging that,

936
00:44:55,833 --> 00:44:58,333
though I've forgiven them,
we can't just, you know,

937
00:44:58,375 --> 00:45:01,333
assume we hit pause when we
found out and hit play

938
00:45:01,500 --> 00:45:05,833
when we were done and move on,
picking up where we left off.

939
00:45:05,875 --> 00:45:07,667
I'll give you
two painful examples.

940
00:45:07,708 --> 00:45:12,333
One was a woman who--and a man,
a mother and father

941
00:45:12,375 --> 00:45:14,833
found out that one of
the grandparents was abusing

942
00:45:14,833 --> 00:45:18,000
one of their children, okay?

943
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,667
And the grandparent came clean
and said, "Yeah, I did this.

944
00:45:20,833 --> 00:45:23,000
And yeah, I grieve
that," and was, you know,

945
00:45:23,167 --> 00:45:24,500
repentant and they forgave him.

946
00:45:24,500 --> 00:45:27,167
But should Grandpa babysit?

947
00:45:27,333 --> 00:45:29,500
No.
No.

948
00:45:29,542 --> 00:45:32,667
It's not back to the way it was
'cause that's dangerous

949
00:45:32,667 --> 00:45:35,375
for the kids.

950
00:45:35,500 --> 00:45:39,167
You need to forgive and be wise.

951
00:45:39,208 --> 00:45:45,208
Another situation that
I was involved in,

952
00:45:45,333 --> 00:45:48,667
two couples are
very close friends.

953
00:45:48,708 --> 00:45:51,167
Like the wives are really good
friends and the husbands

954
00:45:51,333 --> 00:45:53,500
are really good friends
and they do dates together

955
00:45:53,500 --> 00:45:55,708
and celebrate holidays together
and they're friends.

956
00:45:55,833 --> 00:45:58,000
These two couples
are really close.

957
00:45:58,042 --> 00:46:02,667
Well, this husband starts
pursuing this wife emotionally

958
00:46:02,708 --> 00:46:04,000
for an affair.

959
00:46:04,167 --> 00:46:06,333
And it starts escalating.

960
00:46:06,333 --> 00:46:08,708
And they get caught.

961
00:46:08,833 --> 00:46:11,208
They get caught.

962
00:46:11,333 --> 00:46:14,167
And they repent and their
spouses forgive them,

963
00:46:14,208 --> 00:46:16,833
but should they go on
double dates anymore?

964
00:46:16,875 --> 00:46:18,167
No.

965
00:46:18,333 --> 00:46:19,667
Should they do
Christmas together?

966
00:46:19,833 --> 00:46:23,000
No.
No.

967
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:28,833
The relationship is probably,
most likely, forever altered.

968
00:46:29,833 --> 00:46:32,208
Probably never going to be--
and I would encourage them

969
00:46:32,333 --> 00:46:34,667
it's never going to be
the same again, right?

970
00:46:34,833 --> 00:46:37,000
And you sort of religious
do-gooders, you're like,

971
00:46:37,042 --> 00:46:38,500
"No, it could be great."

972
00:46:38,667 --> 00:46:44,000
It's dangerous and it's risky.

973
00:46:44,042 --> 00:46:47,708
And they can forgive, those
who were sinned against,

974
00:46:47,833 --> 00:46:50,500
and they can repent,
those who sinned,

975
00:46:50,542 --> 00:46:55,208
but the relationship
is forever altered.

976
00:46:55,333 --> 00:46:59,833
And forgiveness is lastly
not objecting to justice.

977
00:46:59,833 --> 00:47:02,500
It's not neglecting of justice.

978
00:47:02,667 --> 00:47:04,500
It's not like, "Well,
they said they're sorry,

979
00:47:04,667 --> 00:47:06,500
so I'm not going to
call the police."

980
00:47:06,667 --> 00:47:08,833
Did they commit a crime?
Did they harm someone?

981
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:12,167
You can forgive them
and pursue justice, you can.

982
00:47:12,333 --> 00:47:15,500
This could be church discipline,
this can be legal recourse.

983
00:47:15,667 --> 00:47:17,167
You can.

984
00:47:17,208 --> 00:47:19,667
Doesn't mean you have
to, but it means you can.

985
00:47:19,667 --> 00:47:22,000
I was dealing with
a guy not long ago.

986
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:23,333
He's a Christian.

987
00:47:23,375 --> 00:47:25,667
There's another guy who
claims to be a Christian,

988
00:47:25,833 --> 00:47:27,042
but he hides it well.

989
00:47:27,167 --> 00:47:29,042
I'll just say that
about this guy.

990
00:47:29,167 --> 00:47:30,833
He ripped off this other
Christian guy

991
00:47:30,875 --> 00:47:33,833
for a whole lot of money
and came to him and said,

992
00:47:33,875 --> 00:47:35,333
"I'm guilty.
I ripped you off.

993
00:47:35,500 --> 00:47:36,833
"I'm sorry.

994
00:47:36,833 --> 00:47:41,208
Please forgive me and
forgive the debt," okay?

995
00:47:41,333 --> 00:47:44,000
So he did repent, sort of.

996
00:47:44,167 --> 00:47:46,500
Makes you wonder
about his motive.

997
00:47:46,542 --> 00:47:48,500
The other guy said,
"Well, I forgive you,

998
00:47:48,542 --> 00:47:50,667
but I'm not sure I
can forgive the debt."

999
00:47:50,833 --> 00:47:53,500
Now if he does forgive the
debt, that's a very gracious

1000
00:47:53,500 --> 00:47:54,833
and generous thing.

1001
00:47:54,875 --> 00:47:56,833
But is he obligated
to forgive the debt?

1002
00:47:56,875 --> 00:47:58,208
No.

1003
00:47:58,333 --> 00:48:00,000
It was tens of
thousands of dollars.

1004
00:48:00,167 --> 00:48:02,708
I mean, this is the difference
between his family making it

1005
00:48:02,833 --> 00:48:04,708
and losing their home
and going into bankruptcy.

1006
00:48:04,833 --> 00:48:08,000
What I told him was work
toward mediation, arbitration.

1007
00:48:08,042 --> 00:48:11,000
If that doesn't work and you
have to pursue legal recourse,

1008
00:48:11,042 --> 00:48:12,833
it's not what we want to do,

1009
00:48:12,833 --> 00:48:14,833
but sometimes
it's what we have to do.

1010
00:48:14,833 --> 00:48:17,167
If this is the difference
between your wife losing

1011
00:48:17,333 --> 00:48:20,333
her home and your kids having to
leave town and your whole life

1012
00:48:20,375 --> 00:48:22,708
going upside down and your
credit being destroyed

1013
00:48:22,833 --> 00:48:25,542
'cause a guy who says he's
a Christian stole from you,

1014
00:48:25,667 --> 00:48:27,333
he needs to make it right.

1015
00:48:27,375 --> 00:48:30,833
And if he refuses to, well,
you got to deal with it.

1016
00:48:30,875 --> 00:48:33,167
So you can forgive someone
personally and still

1017
00:48:33,333 --> 00:48:39,000
pursue justice through church
discipline or legal recourse.

1018
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:41,375
Now hearing this, here
are the two big ideas.

1019
00:48:41,500 --> 00:48:43,833
They're huge to Christianity.

1020
00:48:43,833 --> 00:48:45,333
Sinners, repent.

1021
00:48:45,375 --> 00:48:47,167
Victims, forgive.

1022
00:48:47,208 --> 00:48:50,833
And some of you will
have objections.

1023
00:48:50,875 --> 00:48:52,167
Some of you are there.

1024
00:48:52,333 --> 00:48:53,667
You're like, "That's it.

1025
00:48:53,667 --> 00:48:56,000
I need to repent to
those people and God."

1026
00:48:56,167 --> 00:49:00,333
Others of you, you say, "I
need to forgive those people.

1027
00:49:00,333 --> 00:49:02,500
I need to tell them
that I forgive them."

1028
00:49:02,667 --> 00:49:06,000
Some of you, there's a little
attorney that lives in you

1029
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,333
and he's raising objections.

1030
00:49:08,500 --> 00:49:11,333
"Oh, I object.
Here are the reasons."

1031
00:49:11,500 --> 00:49:13,333
And Jesus, being
the master teacher,

1032
00:49:13,500 --> 00:49:15,833
he anticipates your objections.

1033
00:49:15,875 --> 00:49:18,000
He anticipates two of them.

1034
00:49:18,167 --> 00:49:20,042
What if I don't believe
God's way works?

1035
00:49:20,167 --> 00:49:21,500
That's the first objection.

1036
00:49:21,667 --> 00:49:23,875
Luke 17:5-6,
"The apostles said to the Lord,

1037
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:25,375
"'Increase our faith!'

1038
00:49:25,500 --> 00:49:27,375
"And the Lord said,
'If you had faith

1039
00:49:27,500 --> 00:49:28,875
like a grain of mustard seed,'"

1040
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,375
that's a very
little faith,

1041
00:49:30,500 --> 00:49:33,375
"'you could say to this mulberry
tree,'" a tree with deep roots,

1042
00:49:33,500 --> 00:49:36,208
"'"Be uprooted and planted in
the sea," and it would obey you.'"

1043
00:49:36,333 --> 00:49:38,167
So you know what?
That's a miracle.

1044
00:49:38,208 --> 00:49:39,500
That's what he's talking about.

1045
00:49:39,667 --> 00:49:45,167
Faith is doing what God says
even if it doesn't seem like

1046
00:49:45,208 --> 00:49:46,833
it's going to work.

1047
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:50,167
That's faith.
That's faith.

1048
00:49:50,208 --> 00:49:53,167
Some of you say, "But
what if it doesn't work?"

1049
00:49:53,333 --> 00:49:55,833
Here's the big idea.

1050
00:49:55,875 --> 00:50:00,333
We need to redefine what we
mean by working and not working.

1051
00:50:00,333 --> 00:50:06,000
Working doesn't mean, "They
repented, I forgave them.

1052
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:09,167
"We hugged, got matching
sweatshirts, a tandem bike.

1053
00:50:09,333 --> 00:50:14,042
And now we're BFF," right?

1054
00:50:14,167 --> 00:50:19,000
Working means I did
what God asked me to do.

1055
00:50:19,167 --> 00:50:21,667
When I sinned, I repented.

1056
00:50:21,833 --> 00:50:23,833
When I was sinned
against, I forgave.

1057
00:50:23,875 --> 00:50:28,208
My hand is extended, working
toward reconciliation.

1058
00:50:28,333 --> 00:50:30,667
But it takes two of us.

1059
00:50:30,833 --> 00:50:32,667
Working means I did my part.

1060
00:50:32,833 --> 00:50:36,042
And it's trusting God,
saying, "God, if I do my part,

1061
00:50:36,167 --> 00:50:38,167
"I'm getting myself
out of the way.

1062
00:50:38,167 --> 00:50:39,708
"You can work on their heart.

1063
00:50:39,833 --> 00:50:41,208
"You can change their heart.

1064
00:50:41,333 --> 00:50:43,000
"You can bring us together.

1065
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:44,500
There's hope."

1066
00:50:44,500 --> 00:50:46,542
Because it's not how
big our faith is,

1067
00:50:46,667 --> 00:50:49,542
it's how big
the God of our faith is.

1068
00:50:49,667 --> 00:50:52,042
Some of you have been told,
"You need more faith."

1069
00:50:52,167 --> 00:50:53,500
No, you don't.

1070
00:50:53,542 --> 00:50:55,500
You just need faith
in the right God.

1071
00:50:55,542 --> 00:50:58,667
It's not how big our faith is,
it's how big our God is.

1072
00:50:58,667 --> 00:51:02,167
And I'm not guaranteeing you
that all your relationships

1073
00:51:02,333 --> 00:51:06,042
will be sewn tidy in this life.

1074
00:51:06,167 --> 00:51:09,167
Jesus is going to have some
unresolved relationships,

1075
00:51:09,333 --> 00:51:11,542
one of them with a guy
named Judas Iscariot,

1076
00:51:11,667 --> 00:51:14,833
who never did repent.

1077
00:51:14,875 --> 00:51:17,667
But do your part.

1078
00:51:17,833 --> 00:51:20,167
Trust God that if
you do your part,

1079
00:51:20,333 --> 00:51:23,000
you're getting yourself out of
the way and it's then between

1080
00:51:23,167 --> 00:51:24,875
God and that person.

1081
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:26,333
And see what happens.

1082
00:51:26,375 --> 00:51:27,833
Sometimes it's a miracle.

1083
00:51:27,875 --> 00:51:30,167
Some of you still
have objections.

1084
00:51:30,333 --> 00:51:32,833
Your next objection may be this:

1085
00:51:32,875 --> 00:51:35,833
"What if I don't want
to do what Jesus says?"

1086
00:51:35,833 --> 00:51:38,000
And that's true, right?

1087
00:51:38,042 --> 00:51:41,542
Sometimes you say, "I know what
Jesus says, and I vote pffft.

1088
00:51:41,667 --> 00:51:44,167
That's what I vote.
No."

1089
00:51:44,167 --> 00:51:45,667
"Love your enemies."

1090
00:51:45,708 --> 00:51:50,333
"Ha-ha, nope!
Not doing that."

1091
00:51:50,500 --> 00:51:52,667
"Pray for those
who persecute you."

1092
00:51:52,833 --> 00:51:56,333
"I'll pray for fire."

1093
00:51:56,333 --> 00:51:59,667
I mean, there are times that
we just don't want to obey

1094
00:51:59,833 --> 00:52:02,167
what the Bible says, period.

1095
00:52:02,333 --> 00:52:03,833
Here's what Jesus says.

1096
00:52:03,875 --> 00:52:07,167
Luke 17:7-10, "Will any of you
who has a servant plowing or

1097
00:52:07,333 --> 00:52:10,333
"keeping sheep say to him when
he has come in from the field,

1098
00:52:10,500 --> 00:52:12,000
"'Come at once and
recline at table'?

1099
00:52:12,167 --> 00:52:15,000
"Will he not rather say to
him, 'Prepare supper for me,

1100
00:52:15,042 --> 00:52:17,833
"'and dress properly, and serve
me while I eat and drink,

1101
00:52:17,875 --> 00:52:19,667
"and afterward you
will eat and drink'?

1102
00:52:19,667 --> 00:52:21,000
"Does he thank the servant

1103
00:52:21,167 --> 00:52:23,167
"because he did
what was commanded?

1104
00:52:23,167 --> 00:52:26,500
"So you also, when you have done
all that you were commanded to do,

1105
00:52:26,500 --> 00:52:29,000
"say, 'We are unworthy servants;

1106
00:52:29,167 --> 00:52:31,667
we have only done
what was our duty.'"

1107
00:52:31,833 --> 00:52:34,667
Jesus doesn't start
here, but he ends here.

1108
00:52:34,667 --> 00:52:38,542
And that is chain of command.

1109
00:52:38,667 --> 00:52:46,667
Most of us don't like words like
authority, submission, right?

1110
00:52:46,667 --> 00:52:51,167
Master...
We don't like those words.

1111
00:52:51,167 --> 00:52:52,667
They're very important.

1112
00:52:52,708 --> 00:52:54,375
There is a chain of command.

1113
00:52:54,500 --> 00:52:56,333
We are under authority.

1114
00:52:56,375 --> 00:52:58,333
Jesus is the master.

1115
00:52:58,500 --> 00:53:01,333
It's a synonym for the Lord.

1116
00:53:01,375 --> 00:53:03,667
He is the highest authority.

1117
00:53:03,708 --> 00:53:06,000
He is our creator.

1118
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:08,000
He is our king.

1119
00:53:08,042 --> 00:53:10,167
He is our Savior.

1120
00:53:10,333 --> 00:53:12,542
He is our truth teller.

1121
00:53:12,667 --> 00:53:15,167
He is our master.

1122
00:53:15,167 --> 00:53:18,167
And when Jesus says,
"If you belong to me,

1123
00:53:18,333 --> 00:53:23,167
I'm commanding you to act
like this," we cannot say no.

1124
00:53:24,333 --> 00:53:26,000
We cannot say no.

1125
00:53:26,167 --> 00:53:28,708
Like a master and a servant,
a master gives an order

1126
00:53:28,833 --> 00:53:34,167
to his servant, Jesus uses the
parable to give us the analogy,

1127
00:53:34,208 --> 00:53:36,667
the servant is to serve.

1128
00:53:36,833 --> 00:53:40,167
The servant is to obey.

1129
00:53:40,333 --> 00:53:42,375
Jesus is the master.

1130
00:53:42,500 --> 00:53:46,000
Friends, in our life,
we are not, you are not,

1131
00:53:46,167 --> 00:53:48,500
I am not the master.

1132
00:53:48,500 --> 00:53:52,500
There is a throne
and it's not for us.

1133
00:53:52,667 --> 00:53:54,333
Jesus is the master.

1134
00:53:54,333 --> 00:53:56,167
Jesus is the Lord.

1135
00:53:56,333 --> 00:53:58,375
Jesus is the highest authority.

1136
00:53:58,500 --> 00:54:00,833
And when he tells
us to do something,

1137
00:54:00,875 --> 00:54:04,208
like a servant, we
are supposed to obey.

1138
00:54:04,333 --> 00:54:08,000
And if and when we do obey,
it's not to be a big deal.

1139
00:54:08,167 --> 00:54:11,833
That's just what
a servant is to do.

1140
00:54:14,500 --> 00:54:18,500
Jesus reserves this point for
those of us who are still

1141
00:54:18,500 --> 00:54:22,667
not fighting for
a relationship with God,

1142
00:54:22,667 --> 00:54:26,667
we're fighting with our God.

1143
00:54:26,833 --> 00:54:29,167
And some of you are there.

1144
00:54:29,333 --> 00:54:31,167
You say, "I know what God says.

1145
00:54:31,333 --> 00:54:33,833
I just refuse to obey."

1146
00:54:33,833 --> 00:54:37,667
And Jesus says, "Let me pull
out the organizational chart.

1147
00:54:37,833 --> 00:54:42,000
"You will notice
that I'm at the top.

1148
00:54:42,042 --> 00:54:45,208
"And there is no way you
will get a promotion

1149
00:54:45,333 --> 00:54:48,333
"to be alongside of
or above me.

1150
00:54:48,333 --> 00:54:50,875
So obey me."

1151
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:54,000
Now let me close with this.

1152
00:54:54,167 --> 00:54:57,833
Our master is also our servant.

1153
00:54:57,875 --> 00:55:04,167
Our master came into human
history, our master served us.

1154
00:55:04,333 --> 00:55:07,500
Do you think Jesus knows what it
feels like to be sinned against,

1155
00:55:07,500 --> 00:55:09,000
yes or no?

1156
00:55:09,042 --> 00:55:10,500
Yeah.

1157
00:55:10,500 --> 00:55:13,333
Nobody's been sinned
against more than Jesus.

1158
00:55:13,375 --> 00:55:17,875
Do you think Jesus feels the
pain of being betrayed by people

1159
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:19,667
that he loved and trusted?

1160
00:55:19,667 --> 00:55:21,167
Yeah.

1161
00:55:21,333 --> 00:55:24,167
Do you think Jesus knows what
it's like when you need your

1162
00:55:24,333 --> 00:55:27,000
family and friends the most,
they turn their back on you?

1163
00:55:27,167 --> 00:55:28,500
Yes.

1164
00:55:28,500 --> 00:55:31,500
Do you think Jesus knows what
it's like to be lied about

1165
00:55:31,500 --> 00:55:33,667
and mistreated and have your
reputation destroyed?

1166
00:55:33,833 --> 00:55:35,042
Yes.

1167
00:55:35,167 --> 00:55:37,542
Do you think Jesus knows
what it's like to be

1168
00:55:37,667 --> 00:55:39,000
emotionally abused?
Yes.

1169
00:55:39,042 --> 00:55:41,042
Physically abused?
Yes.

1170
00:55:41,167 --> 00:55:43,167
Spiritually abused?
Yes.

1171
00:55:43,167 --> 00:55:46,333
Financially abused?
Yes.

1172
00:55:46,375 --> 00:55:49,667
Who did that to Jesus?

1173
00:55:49,667 --> 00:55:51,500
You did.

1174
00:55:51,667 --> 00:55:54,208
And I did too.

1175
00:55:54,333 --> 00:55:56,833
And he goes to the cross.

1176
00:55:56,875 --> 00:56:00,875
And as our servant master,
he suffers in our place

1177
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:02,833
for our sins.

1178
00:56:02,833 --> 00:56:06,042
And as he's being
crucified, what does he say?

1179
00:56:06,167 --> 00:56:14,542
"Forgive them, forgive them,
forgive them."

1180
00:56:14,667 --> 00:56:19,667
And so Jesus forgives
us in word and deed,

1181
00:56:19,667 --> 00:56:25,667
he dies in our place for our
sins as our substitute Savior.

1182
00:56:25,667 --> 00:56:28,500
He pronounces forgiveness.

1183
00:56:28,542 --> 00:56:31,000
He gives forgiveness.

1184
00:56:31,167 --> 00:56:34,500
He dies, he rises, he
ascends into heaven.

1185
00:56:34,667 --> 00:56:40,000
He's the master servant.

1186
00:56:40,167 --> 00:56:43,042
And he is asking us
to first deal with

1187
00:56:43,167 --> 00:56:45,333
our relationship with him.

1188
00:56:45,375 --> 00:56:51,500
Repent of our sin to him,
experience forgiveness from him,

1189
00:56:51,667 --> 00:56:54,667
and then have that relationship
teach us

1190
00:56:54,833 --> 00:56:58,167
how to interact with others.

1191
00:56:58,208 --> 00:57:01,042
That when we sin, we repent.

1192
00:57:01,167 --> 00:57:04,333
When we're sinned
against, we forgive.

1193
00:57:04,333 --> 00:57:10,208
And that Jesus be the center
of our relationships, amen?

1194
00:57:10,333 --> 00:57:16,500
Father God, thank you so much
for pursuing us, loving us.

1195
00:57:16,542 --> 00:57:20,167
Lord Jesus, thank you so much
for saying no to temptation

1196
00:57:20,333 --> 00:57:23,500
and saying yes to our salvation.

1197
00:57:23,667 --> 00:57:28,708
Lord Jesus, we confess that
we've sinned against you.

1198
00:57:28,833 --> 00:57:31,833
And so we repent of our sin.

1199
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:35,833
We thank you that repentance is
possible because of your death

1200
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:39,500
in our place and your
resurrection for our salvation.

1201
00:57:39,542 --> 00:57:43,833
Furthermore Lord Jesus, we thank
you that you forgive us and send

1202
00:57:43,833 --> 00:57:47,500
the Holy Spirit so that we might
be convicted of our sin

1203
00:57:47,667 --> 00:57:50,500
and repent of our sin and
forgive those who are convicted

1204
00:57:50,500 --> 00:57:53,833
and repent of their sin.

1205
00:57:53,833 --> 00:57:59,333
Jesus, may we always remember
that your relationship with us

1206
00:57:59,333 --> 00:58:02,000
is the pattern for all
of our relationships,

1207
00:58:02,042 --> 00:58:05,833
and may we enjoy the grace to
enact that reality so that

1208
00:58:05,875 --> 00:58:10,167
our relationships would not die,
but the sin that would otherwise

1209
00:58:10,208 --> 00:58:12,667
kill the relationship
would be put to death.

1210
00:58:12,833 --> 00:58:14,833
In Jesus' name, amen.