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Howdy Mars Hill Church.

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Pastor Sutton Turner here
and I'm in Ethiopia.

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And I just want to thank Jesus

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for continuing to use
Mars Hill Church

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to make disciples 
and plant churches.

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Mars Hill Global
is the arm of Mars Hill Church

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that makes disciples

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and plant churches 
all over the world.

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We not only do church planting,

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but we help better equip 
church planters.

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Most recently we shipped 
and now distributed

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1,000 bibles into Amharic,

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which is the language 
here in Ethiopia.

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And we launched a project

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to translate Pastor Mark Driscoll's 
doctrine book into Spanish.

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We have people 
from over 29 different countries

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that are giving on a monthly basis
to Mars Hill Global.

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So whether you're a member

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of one of our Mars Hill 
church locations

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in the United States,

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or you're 1 of 100,000 podcasters
every single week,

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we encourage you to pray

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about giving above 
and beyond your tithe

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to Mars Hill Global.

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Thank you and let's see
more materials translated,

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more pastors sent out,
more churches planted,

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and more people 
saved by Jesus Christ.

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♪♪♪

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I was raised
in a Catholic family,

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but didn't find Jesus
'til I was about 19 years old,

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while I was serving
in the Army.

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That's when I met Denise, and
we we're driving around one day.

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We were involved
in a terrible car accident

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that landed me in the hospital
with a broken back.

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And I started reading the Bible

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that she left there
at my nightstand.

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And it was then that I placed
my faith in Jesus Christ

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as my Savior.

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Things really took off
from there.

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We got married
and we began to build a legacy

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around a new family,
a new relationship.

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We had three boys together,
and I went back to school.

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In college I graduated
with a master's degree

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in biblical counseling.

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Then I opened a private practice
where I helped people

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who had broken
families and broken stories

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to build a new legacy
in their life,

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headed toward
the direction of Jesus.

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Today, I'm the lead pastor
at Mars Hill Sammamish Church,

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and there's nothing that brings
me more joy in my life

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than worshipping
every Sunday with my sons,

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daughter-in-laws,
and grandchildren.

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Singing with them,
serving with them,

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there's nothing better in life.

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Forty percent of kids tonight
go to bed without a father.

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For the first time
in our nation's history,

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the majority of children
born to women 30 and under

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are born out of wedlock,

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which means today, the normal,
typical scenario is no father.

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And there's nothing
that impacts your life

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as much as who your father is
and what your father does.

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Apart from God,
our earthly life is impacted

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and affected positively
or negatively by our daddy.

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That's why the Bible
keeps pressing us

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to think about our legacy.

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And here's the big idea.

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God cares both
about the life you live

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and the legacy you leave.

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So, if you'd open
your Bibles in Malachi,

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as we're talking
about living for a legacy,

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you're going to learn
about this issue of legacy

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from God's perspective.

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And God has something to say
to those of you who are single

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and those of you
who are married.

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So, just because you're single

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doesn't mean God doesn't have
something to say about legacy.

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And he starts
by revealing himself as Father,

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so it all begins in this place,
Malachi 2:10,

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where we are told to obey God
because he is our Father.

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Here's what it says:
"Have we not all one Father?

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Has not one God--"
how many gods?

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One.

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"Pastor Mark,
what about other religions

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that teach other gods?"

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There's one God.

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"What about religions
that teach multiple gods?"

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One God, and he's our Father.

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You don't have 27 fathers,
you don't have 100,000 fathers,

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you don't have
a billion fathers.

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You have one Father.

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There's one God,
he's our Father.

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"Have we not all one Father?
Has not one God created us?

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"Why then are we faithless
to one another,

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profaning the covenant
of our fathers?"

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He says
two things about God.

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He's our Creator;
he's our Father.

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Physically, he made us.

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Spiritually, he saves us.

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That's our God.

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Some people
come along and say,

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"Well, what right does God
have to tell me what to do?"

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Well, here's
a pretty good little list.

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Creator and Father.

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Alright, he made the world
and you, and he adopts you,

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if you're a believer
in Jesus Christ,

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into his family
as his son or daughter.

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Since he made you
and since he adopted you,

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he has a right
to give instructions to you,

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as any loving father would.

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Any father who does not instruct
his children hates them.

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Any father
who instructs his children,

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it should be
because he loves them.

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God is a perfect Father.
God is a generous Father.

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God is a patient Father.

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God is a wise Father.

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God is a devoted Father.

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And so what he's saying is,
"Hey kids, open your ears.

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"Dad needs to talk to you
about some things,

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and if you believe I'm good,
then you need to listen."

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And he says here,
"We have a problem,

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and the problem is that you
are profaning the covenant."

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OK, so this idea of covenant,

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we don't use the language
of covenant a lot in our day.

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The Bible uses the language
of covenant a great deal,

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and this is
that we have a particular,

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unique relationship with God

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through Jesus Christ, and
it is our highest allegiance.

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And when we enter covenants,
we tend to make vows.

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So, when you become
a citizen of a country--

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let's say you've come
to the United States

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and you're applying
for citizenship.

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You're going to covenant
to be a good citizen,

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and you're going to vow.

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You're going to make a vow
to be devoted to the country.

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Let's say you join the military.

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You're covenanting to serve
and to give your life,

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and you're taking a vow for
how you will conduct yourself.

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Similarly, in marriage,
we covenant to be together

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for the rest of our lives, and
we do so by exchanging vows.

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So, covenants and vows
tend to go together.

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And what God is saying is,
"If I've adopted you,

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"and I'm your Father,
and you're my child,

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"we're covenanted together,

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"and I have made
some promises to you.

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"I've vowed to you.

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"I'll love you,
I'll serve you,

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"I'll never leave you,
never forsake you.

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"But you're also making
some vows to me

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"that you will obey me,
that you will follow me,

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"that you will honor me,

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that you will want to become
increasingly more like me."

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And so it is incumbent upon
both parties in the covenant

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to follow through
with their obligations,

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and here,
God's people are not.

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They're profaning the covenant.

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How many of you, your mom
talked to you about profanity?

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Did your mom talk to you
about profanity?

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I was a boy who ate soap.

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I'll just throw it
out there, OK?

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Any other soap-eating boys
with us today?

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My mom--
God bless her, I love her--

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"Mark, you cannot
use those words.

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Eat the soap," OK?

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Some of you say,
"That's child abuse."

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Well, you didn't know me
as a child.

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I had it coming, for sure.

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I should have eaten a
Costco-sized box of soap, OK?

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This is the redeemed,
sanctified,

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mature version of me.

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Imagine how it all started.
It was horrifying.

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So, I would say things
I shouldn't say,

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and my mom would say,
"Mark, you can't.

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Marky,
you can't use profanity."

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Now, what we tend
to think of profanity as

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is solely our words,
but it's also our deeds.

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Some of you have never said
a naughty word,

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but you live a naughty life,

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and that's what
he's talking about.

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These people may have never said
the bad words

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that would get bleeped out
on television,

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but their whole life
is lived in such a way

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that they are defiant
through their conduct.

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So, you religious people,
be careful that you don't say,

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"Oh, I can't believe
the word they used,"

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because your whole life
is a dirty word.

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You may not use a dirty word,

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but you don't have to
because you are a dirty word.

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OK, do you get that?
It's offensive, isn't it?

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Moving right along.

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"Profaning
the covenant of our fathers."

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So, profanity here is,
God is holy,

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but we treat him
as if he's unholy.

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God is in charge,

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but we treat him
as if he has no authority.

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God is to be obeyed,
and yet we disobey him.

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And it's the height
of hypocrisy to say,

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"He's a good Father,
and I don't listen to him."

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That's filthy.

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That's wrong.

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So, profanity in covenant
relationship with God the Father

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is having a good Father
and acting like an orphan.

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And it's a profane thing
to have God as your Father,

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and to live as an orphan.

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To not follow him,
to not seek him,

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to not listen to him,
to not obey him,

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to not consider him,
to not honor him--

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that's a profane thing.

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And that's what God is saying,
Because you're an adult,

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most of you,
you will not think

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that you need to be told
what to do, but to God,

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we're all just children,
and you never grow so old

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that you don't need
the wisdom of your Father.

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So, God's going to talk to us as
grown adult sons and daughters

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so that we don't profane
the covenant,

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and he's going to start first

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by talking
to those who are single,

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and then talking to those
who are married.

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So, how many of you are single?
OK, singles, raise your hand.

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Singles, keep them up.
Are you single?

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OK, we have coffee,
you guys can meet afterward.

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This might be
a big day for you,

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I'm just throwing it
out there, OK?

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And I'll tell you single guys,

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you single guys who can't meet
a gal at Mars Hill--

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really, really?

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That's like,
"Yeah, I went to the trout pond,

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and I caught no fish."

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Well, then there's a problem
with the bait, OK?

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Ha-ha.

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"He's very offensive"--and true.

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OK, singles, here we go.

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He's going to talk
to those who are single.

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Singles,
do not wrongly marry--

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and nine out of ten
of you will marry.

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Malachi 2:11-12, "Judah."

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When he uses "Judah,"
"Jerusalem," "Israel,"

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he's talking about God's people,
believers, OK?

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"Judah has been faithless,

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"and abomination
has been committed in Israel

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and in Jerusalem."

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Big word, "abomination."
What's the abomination?

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"For Judah has ‘profaned,'"--
another big word--

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"the sanctuary of the Lord"--
their equivalent of the church--

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"which he loves,

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and has married
the daughter of a foreign god."

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00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:03,042
Well, there's
the profane abomination,

247
00:12:03,125 --> 00:12:05,542
"May the Lord cut off
from the tents of Jacob

248
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,667
"any descendant
of the man who does this,

249
00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:11,458
who brings an offering
to the Lord of hosts!"

250
00:12:11,542 --> 00:12:13,125
What's the problem?

251
00:12:13,208 --> 00:12:16,000
Why has God the Father
called the family meeting?

252
00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:18,542
Why are all the kids
sitting on the couch?

253
00:12:18,625 --> 00:12:20,458
Why is he so concerned?

254
00:12:20,542 --> 00:12:24,792
Why does he use words like
"profaning" and "abomination"?

255
00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:26,208
What's the big deal?

256
00:12:26,292 --> 00:12:28,208
Here it is:

257
00:12:28,292 --> 00:12:33,958
believers marrying unbelievers.

258
00:12:34,042 --> 00:12:37,042
So, let's do a
little marriage map.

259
00:12:37,125 --> 00:12:41,792
Can a believer marry
a believer, yes or no?

260
00:12:41,875 --> 00:12:44,500
Yes, I gave you
an easy one to start.

261
00:12:44,542 --> 00:12:49,000
OK, can an unbeliever
marry an unbeliever?

262
00:12:49,042 --> 00:12:52,375
Say yes.
Good job, you got it right.

263
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:57,125
OK, can a believer
marry an unbeliever?

264
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:59,875
No, shake your head like this.
No.

265
00:13:00,042 --> 00:13:02,042
You dads, shake it sternly.

266
00:13:02,125 --> 00:13:05,958
No, no, no.

267
00:13:09,458 --> 00:13:11,958
Some of you would ask,
"What right does anyone have

268
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:14,500
to tell me
who I can and cannot marry?"

269
00:13:14,583 --> 00:13:18,292
And God says, "I do.

270
00:13:18,375 --> 00:13:21,375
"I created marriage,
I created you,

271
00:13:21,458 --> 00:13:27,458
and if you belong to me,
you need to listen to me."

272
00:13:27,542 --> 00:13:29,958
It's not unlike the situation
with my sons and daughters.

273
00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:33,625
I promise you this: if my sons
run off and marry women

274
00:13:33,708 --> 00:13:35,958
or my daughters
run off and marry men

275
00:13:36,042 --> 00:13:40,208
without consulting Grace and I
or going against our counsel,

276
00:13:40,292 --> 00:13:44,833
it's not going
to end well for them,

277
00:13:44,875 --> 00:13:46,500
because we know them,
we love them,

278
00:13:46,542 --> 00:13:48,042
we're there to help them

279
00:13:48,167 --> 00:13:50,500
make the second most important
decision of your whole life.

280
00:13:50,542 --> 00:13:54,125
Your most important decision
is who's your God.

281
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:57,625
Your second most important
decision, who's your spouse?

282
00:13:57,667 --> 00:14:01,875
Those are the two most important
decisions you ever make.

283
00:14:01,958 --> 00:14:04,125
And God here is saying,
"I have told you

284
00:14:04,208 --> 00:14:08,292
"who you should not marry,
and you married them.

285
00:14:08,375 --> 00:14:11,667
And it's not just a few of you;
it's an epidemic and a problem."

286
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,875
Now, some would look
at the Bible and say,

287
00:14:13,958 --> 00:14:15,875
"This book
is 2,500 years old.

288
00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:18,708
"It's so old
it no longer applies to us.

289
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:22,500
Things have changed."
Well, let's field-test that.

290
00:14:22,583 --> 00:14:27,875
Are believers to this day
marrying unbelievers?

291
00:14:27,958 --> 00:14:29,292
Yes.

292
00:14:29,375 --> 00:14:30,875
At what percent?

293
00:14:30,958 --> 00:14:33,375
According to a recent article
in the Economist,

294
00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:37,875
45% of marriages
are what they call "interfaith."

295
00:14:37,958 --> 00:14:41,000
God would use words like
"profane" and "abomination,"

296
00:14:41,083 --> 00:14:45,333
but they would use
the word "interfaith."

297
00:14:45,375 --> 00:14:48,208
What that means is the Christian
marries the Mormon,

298
00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:49,958
or the Mormon
marries the Muslim,

299
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:54,375
or the Muslim
marries the Hindu.

300
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:59,958
Different religions.

301
00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:04,000
And this is wrong.

302
00:15:04,083 --> 00:15:05,792
So, let's say
you're at Mars Hill

303
00:15:05,875 --> 00:15:07,208
and you're a believer--

304
00:15:07,292 --> 00:15:11,292
OK, some of you are single,
and just, you're like, "Oh."

305
00:15:11,375 --> 00:15:14,875
Like, the fire alarm
just went off in your mind.

306
00:15:14,958 --> 00:15:19,125
"I'm dating someone
who's an unbeliever."

307
00:15:19,208 --> 00:15:24,792
Don't start creating an account
to defend yourself.

308
00:15:27,208 --> 00:15:29,625
Hit the brakes.
Don't continue.

309
00:15:29,708 --> 00:15:32,708
It's not going to where
there will be life, and joy,

310
00:15:32,792 --> 00:15:37,875
and they lived
happily ever after.

311
00:15:37,958 --> 00:15:44,958
This is a very current problem,
and what's at stake is legacy.

312
00:15:46,875 --> 00:15:48,375
If a believer marries
an unbeliever,

313
00:15:48,458 --> 00:15:49,792
good luck having children

314
00:15:49,875 --> 00:15:52,625
who know and love the Lord
and are wholeheartedly,

315
00:15:52,708 --> 00:15:55,958
singularly devoted to him
when mom and dad

316
00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:59,500
aren't even in agreement
in their devotion,

317
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,667
or even who God is.

318
00:16:02,792 --> 00:16:05,083
You singles, hear me in this:

319
00:16:05,167 --> 00:16:09,792
Missionary dating leads
to miserable divorce.

320
00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:12,333
Missionary dating
leads to miserable divorce.

321
00:16:12,458 --> 00:16:14,958
Statistically, it's true.

322
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,625
Bradford Wilcox, other
sociologists that are noted,

323
00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:23,292
they have shown
that the highest divorce rates

324
00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:27,167
are for people who have
different religious beliefs.

325
00:16:27,292 --> 00:16:30,917
They get divorced
more than any other group.

326
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:35,458
The group that has the lowest
divorce rates? Bible-believing,

327
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:39,833
Jesus-loving, church-attending
Evangelical Christians.

328
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:41,625
Some of you have been lied to.

329
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,375
"Christians get divorced
as much as non-Christians."

330
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:44,708
No, they don't.

331
00:16:44,792 --> 00:16:47,833
They just don't.
They just don't.

332
00:16:47,917 --> 00:16:50,208
I can tell you,
I've been doing this 17 years.

333
00:16:50,292 --> 00:16:52,958
I think this year,
we had 105 weddings.

334
00:16:53,042 --> 00:16:55,875
I know the marriages,
I know the divorces,

335
00:16:55,958 --> 00:16:58,875
and I can tell you those
that are members of the church,

336
00:16:58,958 --> 00:17:00,333
their divorce rates

337
00:17:00,458 --> 00:17:03,458
are significantly lower
than anyone else's,

338
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,958
especially those
who marry someone

339
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:09,000
from a different
religious tradition.

340
00:17:09,125 --> 00:17:11,000
So, for those of you
who are single,

341
00:17:11,125 --> 00:17:13,500
let me speak
very clearly to you.

342
00:17:13,625 --> 00:17:15,583
Here, God the Father's
talking to you.

343
00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:18,458
Let me, with a father's heart,
talk to you.

344
00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:20,167
And it's interesting for me

345
00:17:20,292 --> 00:17:23,083
because I started this
17 years ago,

346
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,458
and Ashley, my daughter,

347
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:27,000
was one of the first kids
born in the church.

348
00:17:27,125 --> 00:17:30,792
Now she's 16,
so we're a year away

349
00:17:30,833 --> 00:17:34,500
from her senior year next year,
and then college.

350
00:17:34,625 --> 00:17:39,417
So, all of a sudden, I'm looking
down the horizon of not-too-far

351
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:46,042
and my daughter could be dating,
or engaged, or married.

352
00:17:46,125 --> 00:17:47,458
True or false, men,

353
00:17:47,542 --> 00:17:50,333
everything looks different
when you become a dad?

354
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:52,167
Everything looks different.

355
00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:53,958
All boys look
like terrorists, right?

356
00:17:54,042 --> 00:17:57,458
I mean,
everything looks different.

357
00:17:57,542 --> 00:18:02,292
Now, let me speak to all
who are single,

358
00:18:02,333 --> 00:18:05,250
especially those
who are maybe a little older,

359
00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:07,958
those who aspire
to be married,

360
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,292
but for whatever reason,

361
00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:12,667
it doesn't seem like it's
on the horizon anytime soon.

362
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:15,833
Let me, in particular,
speak to the single women.

363
00:18:15,958 --> 00:18:20,833
Recently, I've had a number of
side conversations with godly,

364
00:18:20,958 --> 00:18:25,333
older, single women
who aspire to be married,

365
00:18:25,458 --> 00:18:30,125
and I think are wonderful.

366
00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:32,917
I can't figure out
why they're not married.

367
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,125
I don't understand.

368
00:18:35,167 --> 00:18:41,333
They're great, and single,
and I don't understand.

369
00:18:43,375 --> 00:18:45,458
And I was talking
to one of these gals.

370
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:50,833
She came up, she said,
"Pastor Mark, what do I do?"

371
00:18:50,917 --> 00:18:53,292
And I felt like her dad
in that moment, like,

372
00:18:53,375 --> 00:18:55,958
"What would I
tell my daughter?"

373
00:18:56,042 --> 00:18:59,375
And so, it kind of came to me,
and I'll share it with you.

374
00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:05,125
I said, "Well, there's really
only six options, OK?"

375
00:19:06,958 --> 00:19:11,333
I don't know why that's funny.

376
00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:13,583
I'm a dad who always
has something to say.

377
00:19:13,667 --> 00:19:18,667
So, here they are,
six options for singles.

378
00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:22,625
Six options for singles.

379
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:27,333
You ready?
OK, take notes, single people.

380
00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:29,667
And I'm talking
about those of you

381
00:19:29,792 --> 00:19:34,667
particularly who are single
and aspiring to marriage.

382
00:19:34,792 --> 00:19:37,292
You want to be married,
but you're not there yet.

383
00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:39,500
Either you're not ready,
you're trying to get ready,

384
00:19:39,625 --> 00:19:43,333
or maybe
you're a godly woman

385
00:19:43,417 --> 00:19:47,333
and a man has not come along
yet who's fit to be a husband,

386
00:19:47,417 --> 00:19:49,125
and you're looking
at your future saying,

387
00:19:49,208 --> 00:19:52,542
"I don't know
if it's going to happen for me.

388
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:56,125
I would like to be married.
I appreciate Mark's sermons.

389
00:19:56,208 --> 00:20:00,792
I like guys getting yelled at.
I wish one would call me."

390
00:20:00,875 --> 00:20:03,125
But it's not happening for you.

391
00:20:03,208 --> 00:20:05,708
And I've had a lot
of conversations with godly,

392
00:20:05,792 --> 00:20:08,375
older women
who aspire to be married,

393
00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:11,542
but it's not happening
for them recently.

394
00:20:11,625 --> 00:20:14,875
So, if this is you,
you've really got six options.

395
00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:18,167
And number one is just sin.

396
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:19,792
"I'm going to date
an unbeliever.

397
00:20:19,875 --> 00:20:21,542
"I'm going to move in
with somebody.

398
00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:23,042
"I'm going to sleep
with somebody.

399
00:20:23,125 --> 00:20:24,792
"I'm going to play
the singles' scene.

400
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:26,708
"I'll find somebody who worships
a different God,

401
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:29,125
"or an atheist, or you know,
I'm just going to sin.

402
00:20:29,208 --> 00:20:31,958
"I'm going to rebel;
I'm going to do my thing.

403
00:20:32,042 --> 00:20:33,833
"God, you've not
come through for me,

404
00:20:33,917 --> 00:20:38,208
so I'm going to take matters
into my own hands."

405
00:20:38,292 --> 00:20:40,625
What's that going to do,
particularly for you ladies,

406
00:20:40,708 --> 00:20:42,875
it's going to harm
your relationship with Jesus,

407
00:20:42,958 --> 00:20:45,042
and he's the most
important man in your life.

408
00:20:45,167 --> 00:20:47,208
And any other man
that hinders the relationship

409
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:51,542
with the God-man
is the wrong man.

410
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,667
Number two, some of you
are going to surrender.

411
00:20:53,708 --> 00:20:55,708
You'll say, "You know what?
I give up.

412
00:20:55,833 --> 00:20:58,667
"I'm never going to get married.
I need to give up hope.

413
00:20:58,708 --> 00:21:01,625
"I need to take my heart,
lock it up in a vault,

414
00:21:01,708 --> 00:21:03,000
"nobody ever gets to it.

415
00:21:03,083 --> 00:21:05,792
"No more trying, no more dating,
no more caring.

416
00:21:05,875 --> 00:21:08,125
"I'm not even going to pray
about it anymore.

417
00:21:08,208 --> 00:21:10,125
"If somebody comes up
to me and says,

418
00:21:10,208 --> 00:21:11,833
"'I want to introduce
you to somebody,'

419
00:21:11,917 --> 00:21:16,542
"'No thank you, OK?
I'm not interested.

420
00:21:16,625 --> 00:21:21,292
I give up.
I give up.'"

421
00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:22,667
Number three,
you can settle.

422
00:21:22,750 --> 00:21:25,875
You can start with a list of "I
want somebody who loves Jesus"

423
00:21:25,958 --> 00:21:30,625
to "They're breathing."

424
00:21:30,708 --> 00:21:35,625
"Check. Alright,
that was my list."

425
00:21:35,708 --> 00:21:37,208
Now, some of you are single,

426
00:21:37,292 --> 00:21:40,542
and your expectations
are way too high.

427
00:21:40,625 --> 00:21:44,167
Your list is way too long.

428
00:21:44,208 --> 00:21:47,667
No one will ever meet it,
and if they could meet it,

429
00:21:47,708 --> 00:21:50,667
they would have options
other than you.

430
00:21:50,708 --> 00:21:54,875
I'm just telling you
the way it is, alright?

431
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,875
Like, if that person exists
that's that amazing,

432
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,042
they could find
someone else, OK?

433
00:22:01,125 --> 00:22:03,333
I'm just telling you
how it's going to go.

434
00:22:03,417 --> 00:22:06,542
Some of you, your list
of expectations are way too low.

435
00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:09,333
Way too low.

436
00:22:09,417 --> 00:22:11,625
You need to have
a reasonable expectation.

437
00:22:11,708 --> 00:22:13,125
And here's the key, singles:

438
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:16,042
Don't just have a list
for what you want in a spouse;

439
00:22:16,125 --> 00:22:19,458
have a list of what you want
to be for your spouse.

440
00:22:19,542 --> 00:22:22,042
If you're going to have a list,
have two lists.

441
00:22:22,125 --> 00:22:27,208
"Here's who I want to be, and
here's who I'm hoping to meet."

442
00:22:27,292 --> 00:22:28,958
But what happens
is after a while,

443
00:22:29,042 --> 00:22:33,333
you start to settle and cross
things off your list, right?

444
00:22:33,417 --> 00:22:35,792
You're in your 20s,
all of a sudden you're like--

445
00:22:35,875 --> 00:22:37,208
let's say you're a woman--

446
00:22:37,292 --> 00:22:40,833
"I want him to love Jesus, and
I want to be able to follow him

447
00:22:40,917 --> 00:22:43,292
as our family leader,
and I want to have kids."

448
00:22:43,333 --> 00:22:46,167
And then you hit 30, and all
of a sudden you're like,

449
00:22:46,208 --> 00:22:49,292
"Oh my goodness, well,
now I've got to check off

450
00:22:49,333 --> 00:22:52,542
"that he can lead well
and that I totally respect him,

451
00:22:52,667 --> 00:22:56,875
and I'll just find somebody
who believes in God."

452
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,042
And pretty soon,
even that is,

453
00:22:59,167 --> 00:23:03,542
"Well, used to believe in God--
good enough."

454
00:23:03,625 --> 00:23:05,708
All of a sudden,
you start settling.

455
00:23:05,792 --> 00:23:09,333
You start lowering
your expectations.

456
00:23:09,417 --> 00:23:10,708
Don't do that.

457
00:23:10,792 --> 00:23:15,125
Don't be unreasonable,

458
00:23:15,208 --> 00:23:18,542
but have some expectations,
and don't settle.

459
00:23:18,625 --> 00:23:22,667
It's better to be single
than miserably married,

460
00:23:22,750 --> 00:23:24,833
and I'm not going to ask
the married people

461
00:23:24,917 --> 00:23:29,125
to amen that point.

462
00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:31,208
But if they were
in their honest moment,

463
00:23:31,292 --> 00:23:33,042
they would look
at you and say,

464
00:23:33,125 --> 00:23:37,208
"It's better to be single than
in the situation that I'm in."

465
00:23:37,292 --> 00:23:42,458
Number four, you can use this as
an opportunity to just suffer.

466
00:23:42,542 --> 00:23:44,042
You could look
at your singleness

467
00:23:44,167 --> 00:23:45,708
like a club to beat yourself.

468
00:23:45,833 --> 00:23:47,167
"There's something
wrong with me.

469
00:23:47,208 --> 00:23:48,500
"I'm damaged goods.

470
00:23:48,542 --> 00:23:52,292
"Nobody picked me, nobody
loved me, nobody wants me.

471
00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:55,458
Everybody's rejected me."

472
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:58,792
You can hand that club to Satan
and just let him beat you over,

473
00:23:58,833 --> 00:24:03,042
and over, and over, and over.

474
00:24:03,125 --> 00:24:05,375
Don't do that.

475
00:24:05,458 --> 00:24:07,375
There are some women--

476
00:24:07,458 --> 00:24:10,042
Grace and I are friends
with a lot of single women.

477
00:24:10,125 --> 00:24:12,958
Some of them are single moms,
some of them have never married,

478
00:24:13,042 --> 00:24:14,375
some of them are widowed.

479
00:24:14,458 --> 00:24:16,375
And we'll just look
at one another befuddled.

480
00:24:16,458 --> 00:24:18,125
"I can't figure out
why she's single.

481
00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:19,458
She's amazing."

482
00:24:19,542 --> 00:24:21,292
Grace will be like,
"I can't either.

483
00:24:21,375 --> 00:24:22,708
"I don't understand.

484
00:24:22,792 --> 00:24:26,333
"I can't comprehend.
I don't understand."

485
00:24:26,417 --> 00:24:29,625
Sometimes, if you're single,
there's nothing wrong with you.

486
00:24:29,708 --> 00:24:32,958
Sometimes there is, alright,

487
00:24:33,042 --> 00:24:35,833
but sometimes
there's nothing wrong with you,

488
00:24:35,917 --> 00:24:37,875
so don't beat yourself up,

489
00:24:37,958 --> 00:24:39,958
and don't allow others
to beat you up,

490
00:24:40,042 --> 00:24:43,250
and don't allow Satan
to beat you up.

491
00:24:43,333 --> 00:24:44,792
Number five, you can strive.

492
00:24:44,833 --> 00:24:48,333
This is the person who says,
"I am going to be married,"

493
00:24:48,375 --> 00:24:52,625
and it becomes
like a full-time job.

494
00:24:52,667 --> 00:24:56,000
You're like, "I'm going to go
to every Christian dating site.

495
00:24:56,042 --> 00:24:57,875
"I'm going to fill out
a profile.

496
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:02,375
"I'm going to lie
about who I am.

497
00:25:02,458 --> 00:25:07,458
"I'm going to Photoshop myself
so I look younger and happier.

498
00:25:07,542 --> 00:25:10,042
"I'm going to go to every
Christian singles' ministry

499
00:25:10,125 --> 00:25:11,667
"I can find.

500
00:25:11,750 --> 00:25:13,667
"I'm going to go
to every Community Group

501
00:25:13,750 --> 00:25:15,292
"at my Mars Hill Church,

502
00:25:15,375 --> 00:25:18,000
"and then I'm going to go
to other Mars Hill Churches

503
00:25:18,083 --> 00:25:19,708
"and all of their
Community Groups, too.

504
00:25:19,792 --> 00:25:21,500
And every time
I leave the house--"

505
00:25:21,583 --> 00:25:23,000
sometimes ladies
will do this--

506
00:25:23,083 --> 00:25:25,292
"I'm going to dress up
like it's a pageant.

507
00:25:25,375 --> 00:25:27,458
"I'm not even going to go
to the mailbox

508
00:25:27,542 --> 00:25:29,625
unless I have mascara on
and heels, OK?"

509
00:25:29,708 --> 00:25:32,292
You're trying to put
a lot of bait on the hook,

510
00:25:32,375 --> 00:25:33,833
is what you're trying to do.

511
00:25:33,917 --> 00:25:36,042
Some of you guys
are like this as well.

512
00:25:36,125 --> 00:25:39,292
Too-much-cologne guy
would be an example, OK?

513
00:25:39,375 --> 00:25:41,667
Like, "I am going to get
a shirt with buttons,

514
00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:45,875
"I'm going to have two eyebrows,
and I'm going to smell nice.

515
00:25:45,958 --> 00:25:47,833
"And I'm going to go
to Mars Hill,

516
00:25:47,917 --> 00:25:49,625
"and I'm going
to be a greeter,

517
00:25:49,708 --> 00:25:53,208
"and I'm going to meet every
woman who comes in the church.

518
00:25:53,292 --> 00:25:55,708
"Welcome, look for a ring,
look for a ring,

519
00:25:55,792 --> 00:25:58,542
look for a ring, OK?"

520
00:25:58,625 --> 00:26:01,125
You're overdoing it.
You're overplaying your hand.

521
00:26:01,167 --> 00:26:03,292
You're trying too hard, OK?

522
00:26:03,333 --> 00:26:08,250
Have you met these people?

523
00:26:08,333 --> 00:26:10,333
It's a little too much.

524
00:26:10,458 --> 00:26:13,000
They're obsessed.
It's too much.

525
00:26:13,125 --> 00:26:16,167
Calm down, right?

526
00:26:16,292 --> 00:26:17,917
If God had a mate for you,

527
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,292
he wouldn't even need
to be involved at this point.

528
00:26:20,333 --> 00:26:22,458
You've got it
all nailed down, OK?

529
00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:25,167
And some people become obsessed,
and here's the deal.

530
00:26:25,292 --> 00:26:27,500
These people run the risk
of loving marriage

531
00:26:27,625 --> 00:26:31,167
and not their spouse.

532
00:26:31,292 --> 00:26:32,583
They've got a script,

533
00:26:32,667 --> 00:26:35,917
and they're just wanting
to hand someone the lines.

534
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,792
It doesn't matter
who it is.

535
00:26:37,833 --> 00:26:39,792
God doesn't call us
to just love marriage

536
00:26:39,833 --> 00:26:42,667
but to love our spouse.

537
00:26:42,792 --> 00:26:44,708
Number six,
here's your option,

538
00:26:44,792 --> 00:26:46,208
what I would
encourage you for,

539
00:26:46,292 --> 00:26:48,042
particularly those of you
who are single

540
00:26:48,125 --> 00:26:49,833
with no marriage prospects
on the horizon,

541
00:26:49,917 --> 00:26:52,458
though nine out of ten of you
will statistically marry.

542
00:26:52,542 --> 00:26:55,333
But particularly for the godly
women who love the Lord

543
00:26:55,417 --> 00:26:59,333
and are unsure if this day
of their wedding will ever come,

544
00:26:59,417 --> 00:27:02,625
seek solace in this:

545
00:27:02,667 --> 00:27:07,000
you worship Jesus--
who was married or single?

546
00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:09,292
Single.

547
00:27:09,333 --> 00:27:12,667
Lived a--what kind of life?

548
00:27:12,792 --> 00:27:15,167
Perfect life.

549
00:27:15,292 --> 00:27:20,625
True or false,
Jesus left a legacy.

550
00:27:20,667 --> 00:27:22,625
No one in the history
of the world

551
00:27:22,667 --> 00:27:24,667
has left a legacy
equal to Jesus Christ,

552
00:27:24,792 --> 00:27:27,500
yet he never married
and he never had children.

553
00:27:27,625 --> 00:27:30,417
His life was meaningful,
his life was valuable,

554
00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:34,625
his life was purposeful,
and his life was single.

555
00:27:37,667 --> 00:27:39,583
So, for those of you
who are single,

556
00:27:39,667 --> 00:27:44,958
you worship Jesus Christ
who didn't sin sexually,

557
00:27:45,042 --> 00:27:46,958
had relationships
with the opposite sex

558
00:27:47,042 --> 00:27:49,125
that were appropriate
and friendly

559
00:27:49,208 --> 00:27:52,708
but not over
any kind of line.

560
00:27:52,792 --> 00:27:56,375
He was single,
but he was not alone.

561
00:27:56,458 --> 00:27:58,875
And he invested his life;
he didn't waste his life.

562
00:27:58,958 --> 00:28:02,125
And we're part of his legacy.

563
00:28:02,167 --> 00:28:03,667
So, when you're single

564
00:28:03,792 --> 00:28:05,917
and you're struggling
with your singleness,

565
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,167
know that the Jesus
that you're talking to

566
00:28:08,292 --> 00:28:11,167
is a Jesus who understands.

567
00:28:11,292 --> 00:28:13,417
He's a high priest who
sympathizes.

568
00:28:13,500 --> 00:28:15,458
He's a single God and Savior

569
00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:19,500
who has been where you are
and is there to comfort you,

570
00:28:19,625 --> 00:28:22,500
and to console you,
and to encourage you,

571
00:28:22,625 --> 00:28:28,167
and to instruct you, and to lead
you, and to guide you.

572
00:28:28,292 --> 00:28:30,083
And the truth
is that the Bible

573
00:28:30,167 --> 00:28:32,125
talks a lot
about marriage and family,

574
00:28:32,167 --> 00:28:35,500
but ultimately
it's all about Jesus.

575
00:28:35,625 --> 00:28:37,667
And isn't it wonderful
that we have a God

576
00:28:37,792 --> 00:28:41,500
who is single
for those who are single

577
00:28:41,625 --> 00:28:45,292
or, at least, single
for a season?

578
00:28:45,375 --> 00:28:47,125
The most important decision
you ever make

579
00:28:47,208 --> 00:28:49,458
is who your God is--
Jesus Christ.

580
00:28:49,542 --> 00:28:51,833
The second most important
decision is who you marry,

581
00:28:51,917 --> 00:28:57,125
and sometimes the best
decision is not to marry.

582
00:28:57,208 --> 00:29:00,167
And if you felt
any pressure at Mars Hill,

583
00:29:00,292 --> 00:29:02,667
let me alleviate that pressure.

584
00:29:02,792 --> 00:29:04,125
If you're a single woman

585
00:29:04,167 --> 00:29:06,125
who's felt like
she's a second-class citizen

586
00:29:06,167 --> 00:29:07,500
because she's not married,

587
00:29:07,625 --> 00:29:12,917
let me apologize
and remove that pressure.

588
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,625
And for you ladies
who are single,

589
00:29:14,667 --> 00:29:16,833
Jesus the God-man
is the relationship

590
00:29:16,958 --> 00:29:18,500
that's the most
important relationship

591
00:29:18,625 --> 00:29:20,958
you'll ever have
with any man.

592
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,250
And any man who would hinder the
relationship with the God-man,

593
00:29:24,333 --> 00:29:28,292
he's the wrong man, OK?

594
00:29:28,333 --> 00:29:30,958
Now, this is the heart
of what's going on in Malachi.

595
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,125
God's saying,
"You're marrying unbelievers."

596
00:29:34,167 --> 00:29:36,917
How do we get there?
Well, here's how we get there:

597
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,917
we sin, we surrender,
we settle, we suffer, we strive.

598
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,125
The result is those decisions
we make in the single years

599
00:29:44,208 --> 00:29:47,208
get us into marriages
that we should never be in

600
00:29:47,292 --> 00:29:48,625
because it began

601
00:29:48,708 --> 00:29:51,208
with the relationships
we should have never started in.

602
00:29:51,292 --> 00:29:52,708
Does that make sense?

603
00:29:52,792 --> 00:29:55,625
OK, that's God's word
to those of you who are single.

604
00:29:55,708 --> 00:29:57,625
How about those of you
who are married?

605
00:29:57,708 --> 00:29:59,833
How many of you are married?
Raise your hand.

606
00:29:59,917 --> 00:30:03,875
OK, married people, God's
going to have a word for us.

607
00:30:03,958 --> 00:30:06,792
"Do not wrongly divorce."

608
00:30:06,875 --> 00:30:09,958
Malachi 2:13-15,
"And this second thing you do.

609
00:30:10,042 --> 00:30:11,792
You cover
the Lord's altar with tears"--

610
00:30:11,875 --> 00:30:13,500
big crocodile tears--

611
00:30:13,583 --> 00:30:17,625
"weeping and groaning because he
no longer regards the offering

612
00:30:17,708 --> 00:30:19,625
or accepts it with favor
from your hand.

613
00:30:19,708 --> 00:30:22,625
But you say,
'Why does he not?'"

614
00:30:22,708 --> 00:30:24,542
He continues, "Because
the Lord was witness

615
00:30:24,625 --> 00:30:26,625
between you
and the wife of your youth,

616
00:30:26,708 --> 00:30:28,125
to whom you
have been faithless"--

617
00:30:28,208 --> 00:30:29,875
he's talking
to the men in particular--

618
00:30:29,958 --> 00:30:33,458
"though she is your companion
and your wife by covenant.

619
00:30:33,542 --> 00:30:34,958
Did he not make them one,

620
00:30:35,042 --> 00:30:37,958
with a portion
of the Spirit in their union?"

621
00:30:38,042 --> 00:30:39,375
Here's what God says:

622
00:30:39,458 --> 00:30:42,042
"I was there
on your wedding day."

623
00:30:42,125 --> 00:30:44,833
How many of you
didn't know that God was there?

624
00:30:44,875 --> 00:30:46,625
God was there.
He was a witness.

625
00:30:46,667 --> 00:30:48,167
You know what happens?

626
00:30:48,208 --> 00:30:49,708
I've officiated
a lot of weddings.

627
00:30:49,833 --> 00:30:52,708
What we do is we pull out
the contract, right? The legal,

628
00:30:52,833 --> 00:30:54,833
binding agreement in the eyes
of the government,

629
00:30:54,875 --> 00:30:58,042
and it has to be signed
by two witnesses.

630
00:30:58,167 --> 00:31:03,875
Usually it's the best man,
and it's also the maid of honor.

631
00:31:03,958 --> 00:31:05,875
God says, "I was there too,

632
00:31:05,958 --> 00:31:09,542
"and I was the most
important witness.

633
00:31:09,625 --> 00:31:11,625
I heard you exchange your vows."

634
00:31:11,708 --> 00:31:13,625
See, here's the deal:

635
00:31:13,708 --> 00:31:17,042
Christian marriage includes God.

636
00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:20,375
It's not just a husband
and the wife; it's the Lord.

637
00:31:20,458 --> 00:31:23,333
That's why, at Mars Hill, we
don't let you just get married.

638
00:31:23,417 --> 00:31:24,833
You've got to go
through premarital.

639
00:31:24,917 --> 00:31:27,208
We don't allow you
just to make the decision.

640
00:31:27,292 --> 00:31:28,875
Other people
help speak into that.

641
00:31:28,958 --> 00:31:31,375
We don't just let everybody
get married in the church

642
00:31:31,458 --> 00:31:33,292
so it looks good
in the photos,

643
00:31:33,375 --> 00:31:34,875
because we're not
going to pretend

644
00:31:34,958 --> 00:31:37,000
that it's in the sight
of the Lord

645
00:31:37,083 --> 00:31:39,708
unless it's really
in the sight of the Lord.

646
00:31:39,792 --> 00:31:42,458
People come along, "Well,
who has the right to tell me

647
00:31:42,542 --> 00:31:44,833
who I can and cannot marry?"
God says, "I do.

648
00:31:44,875 --> 00:31:47,333
"I created marriage,
and if you're one of my kids,

649
00:31:47,375 --> 00:31:51,708
I get to speak into that."

650
00:31:51,833 --> 00:31:54,542
And God says, "I was witness
to the covenant."

651
00:31:54,667 --> 00:31:56,708
This language
is going to come up a lot,

652
00:31:56,833 --> 00:31:59,833
and it really connects
to that issue of legacy.

653
00:31:59,875 --> 00:32:02,500
He's going to talk about
the covenant with our fathers,

654
00:32:02,583 --> 00:32:05,292
godly offspring,
the covenant of marriage.

655
00:32:05,375 --> 00:32:08,292
All of that is right here
in Malachi 2:10-17.

656
00:32:08,375 --> 00:32:10,500
This language
all goes together

657
00:32:10,583 --> 00:32:14,167
regarding this issue
of covenantal legacy.

658
00:32:14,250 --> 00:32:15,542
See, we tend to think

659
00:32:15,625 --> 00:32:20,125
in terms of personal
relationship with Jesus.

660
00:32:20,208 --> 00:32:22,625
The language of Scripture
does not use that.

661
00:32:22,708 --> 00:32:24,500
Of course
we want you to have

662
00:32:24,583 --> 00:32:25,958
a personal relationship
with Jesus,

663
00:32:26,042 --> 00:32:28,042
but it's not an isolated
relationship with Jesus.

664
00:32:28,125 --> 00:32:30,500
My relationship with Jesus
includes my wife Grace,

665
00:32:30,583 --> 00:32:34,375
our five kids, someday,
by God's grace, our grandkids.

666
00:32:34,458 --> 00:32:35,792
It includes you.

667
00:32:35,875 --> 00:32:38,125
It's not an isolated
relationship with Jesus;

668
00:32:38,208 --> 00:32:40,625
it's a covenantal
relationship with Jesus.

669
00:32:40,708 --> 00:32:45,042
And those are very distinct,
and that's very important.

670
00:32:45,167 --> 00:32:47,958
Now, God says that this covenant
is marked by three things here.

671
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:52,167
He says sexually, they're one.

672
00:32:52,208 --> 00:32:54,167
"The husband and wife
became one flesh."

673
00:32:54,208 --> 00:32:55,667
That's what Genesis says.

674
00:32:55,708 --> 00:32:57,708
So, marriage
is a sexual component.

675
00:32:57,833 --> 00:33:00,375
The two become one.
That's what Malachi here says.

676
00:33:00,458 --> 00:33:04,792
Number two, relationally,
they're companions.

677
00:33:04,875 --> 00:33:07,708
This is the biblical language
for friendship,

678
00:33:07,792 --> 00:33:09,458
that husband
and wife are friends,

679
00:33:09,542 --> 00:33:13,208
they're life partners,
they do life together.

680
00:33:13,292 --> 00:33:19,292
My best friend,
25 years in a row, is Grace.

681
00:33:19,375 --> 00:33:20,708
My best friend.

682
00:33:20,792 --> 00:33:23,208
That's why the wife
in Song of Solomon 5:17 says,

683
00:33:23,292 --> 00:33:26,125
"He's my lover.
He's my friend."

684
00:33:26,208 --> 00:33:28,375
Companionship here is, they're
there for the good times

685
00:33:28,458 --> 00:33:31,125
and the bad times,
and they hang in there with you,

686
00:33:31,208 --> 00:33:32,708
and you persevere
with one another,

687
00:33:32,792 --> 00:33:34,208
because that's
what good friends do.

688
00:33:34,292 --> 00:33:37,625
So, it's sexual, it's
relational, it's also spiritual.

689
00:33:37,708 --> 00:33:40,208
He said, "Didn't he give them
a portion of the Spirit,

690
00:33:40,292 --> 00:33:43,500
the Holy Spirit?,"
that the Holy Spirit lives

691
00:33:43,542 --> 00:33:46,208
in the daughter of God,
lives in the son of God.

692
00:33:46,333 --> 00:33:48,208
When they enter
into the covenant of God,

693
00:33:48,333 --> 00:33:50,042
the Holy Spirit
empowers and enables them

694
00:33:50,167 --> 00:33:51,958
to love one another
with God's love,

695
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,500
to forgive one another
with God's forgiveness,

696
00:33:54,542 --> 00:33:57,542
to take the work of Jesus
and apply it to one another

697
00:33:57,667 --> 00:34:02,000
and their relationship
with one another.

698
00:34:02,083 --> 00:34:07,292
Marriage is not--it's not what
the culture thinks that it is.

699
00:34:07,375 --> 00:34:09,000
It's sexual, but just
sleeping with somebody

700
00:34:09,083 --> 00:34:10,500
doesn't make you married.

701
00:34:10,583 --> 00:34:11,875
It's relational;

702
00:34:11,958 --> 00:34:13,708
Just being friends
with somebody is important,

703
00:34:13,792 --> 00:34:15,167
but that
doesn't make you married.

704
00:34:15,250 --> 00:34:17,333
It's also spiritual, that
God knits your souls together,

705
00:34:17,417 --> 00:34:20,042
and the Holy Spirit is in
and through both of you.

706
00:34:20,125 --> 00:34:22,042
And it's all of that.

707
00:34:22,125 --> 00:34:24,625
Covenantal marriage,
it's sexual, it's relational,

708
00:34:24,708 --> 00:34:27,042
and it's spiritual.

709
00:34:27,125 --> 00:34:28,375
And like every covenant,

710
00:34:28,458 --> 00:34:31,708
it requires both parties
to be faithful.

711
00:34:31,792 --> 00:34:34,708
The husband and the wife are
to be faithful to one another,

712
00:34:34,792 --> 00:34:36,958
and God
is faithful to both of them.

713
00:34:37,042 --> 00:34:38,708
And when God
is faithful to them

714
00:34:38,792 --> 00:34:40,375
and they are unfaithful
to one another,

715
00:34:40,458 --> 00:34:43,875
then God gets involved
as the overseer of the covenant

716
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,667
and he addresses how
the covenant has been breached

717
00:34:46,708 --> 00:34:48,042
and broken.

718
00:34:48,167 --> 00:34:52,500
And here, the situation,
the scenario is divorce.

719
00:34:52,542 --> 00:34:54,167
It's divorce.

720
00:34:54,208 --> 00:34:57,667
I can't get into it deeply,
but let me hit it briefly,

721
00:34:57,708 --> 00:35:00,208
this issue of divorce.

722
00:35:00,292 --> 00:35:02,042
And immediately,
I know what happens.

723
00:35:02,125 --> 00:35:05,542
It moves
from theological to emotional.

724
00:35:05,625 --> 00:35:07,625
It goes from, you know,
"What's the difference

725
00:35:07,708 --> 00:35:09,708
between moicheia and porneia
in the Greek text?"--

726
00:35:09,792 --> 00:35:11,958
which are adultery
and sexual immorality--

727
00:35:12,042 --> 00:35:16,333
to, "Is my divorce biblical?

728
00:35:16,417 --> 00:35:18,292
"Should I get out
of this marriage?

729
00:35:18,375 --> 00:35:20,958
"Should my dad
have left my mom?

730
00:35:21,042 --> 00:35:23,042
"Christmas is going
to be really awkward,

731
00:35:23,125 --> 00:35:29,833
and did somebody sin
in the sight of God?"

732
00:35:29,917 --> 00:35:34,125
There are reasons,
biblically, we teach

733
00:35:34,208 --> 00:35:38,625
and believe
that it is permissible,

734
00:35:38,708 --> 00:35:42,458
though not ideal,
for people to get divorced.

735
00:35:42,542 --> 00:35:47,958
Let me address
those briefly.

736
00:35:48,042 --> 00:35:53,500
Number one, death
ends the marriage covenant.

737
00:35:53,583 --> 00:35:57,375
And married people,
you can't kill each other, OK?

738
00:35:57,458 --> 00:35:59,500
That's murder.

739
00:35:59,583 --> 00:36:01,458
Billy Graham's wife--
it was funny.

740
00:36:01,500 --> 00:36:02,958
They asked Ruth one time,

741
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,417
"Have you ever thought
about divorcing Billy?"

742
00:36:05,500 --> 00:36:06,833
Honest woman.

743
00:36:06,958 --> 00:36:09,125
She said, "I've never really
thought about divorcing Billy,

744
00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:13,292
but I have thought
about killing him."

745
00:36:13,333 --> 00:36:15,417
Death ends a marriage covenant.

746
00:36:15,500 --> 00:36:19,000
This last year, I preached
the funeral of Grace's dad.

747
00:36:19,125 --> 00:36:21,500
Alright, he was married
to his wife for 50 years.

748
00:36:21,625 --> 00:36:27,500
Their covenant ended
the day that his life ended.

749
00:36:27,625 --> 00:36:31,792
Number two, adultery
is grounds for divorce.

750
00:36:31,833 --> 00:36:36,083
It's the breach of the sexual
aspect of the covenant.

751
00:36:36,167 --> 00:36:38,667
Sexual, relational, spiritual.

752
00:36:38,792 --> 00:36:41,000
Adultery is putting a torpedo

753
00:36:41,125 --> 00:36:45,458
in the hull
of the covenant of marriage.

754
00:36:45,542 --> 00:36:47,292
Number three,
sexual immorality,

755
00:36:47,375 --> 00:36:49,375
and it's a different
word than adultery,

756
00:36:49,458 --> 00:36:52,875
but it's a broader category.

757
00:36:52,958 --> 00:36:57,125
And I used to be more legalistic
and religious.

758
00:36:57,208 --> 00:37:02,333
I used to treat people
more like math equations.

759
00:37:02,458 --> 00:37:05,333
"This plus this equals this,
and this plus this equals this."

760
00:37:05,458 --> 00:37:07,625
And I was that way about divorce
and remarriage

761
00:37:07,667 --> 00:37:09,833
until I became a pastor.

762
00:37:09,958 --> 00:37:11,292
And then people walk in,

763
00:37:11,333 --> 00:37:13,583
and they back
the truck of their life up,

764
00:37:13,667 --> 00:37:14,958
and they unload it all,

765
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,125
and you realize
it's very complicated

766
00:37:18,167 --> 00:37:20,292
and sometimes very devastating.

767
00:37:20,333 --> 00:37:27,125
And as I get older,
I feel more like a father.

768
00:37:27,167 --> 00:37:31,083
Like, what would I tell
my daughter?

769
00:37:31,167 --> 00:37:33,958
And this issue of
sexual immorality, in our day,

770
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,958
people do evil
and vile things

771
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:41,958
that I'm not going
to get into the details of,

772
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:47,292
but it's sometimes,
if habitual and unrepentant,

773
00:37:47,375 --> 00:37:51,042
makes it
very difficult to tolerate.

774
00:37:51,125 --> 00:37:53,792
And for some people,
they just get tired

775
00:37:53,875 --> 00:37:58,625
of taking the disease test
because of their spouse.

776
00:37:58,708 --> 00:38:04,792
All kinds of things happen
in our day that are vile.

777
00:38:04,833 --> 00:38:09,083
Those can be grounds for
the breaching of the covenant

778
00:38:09,167 --> 00:38:12,458
and the termination
of the marriage.

779
00:38:12,500 --> 00:38:13,833
Number four, abandonment.

780
00:38:13,958 --> 00:38:17,917
In 1 Corinthians 7, the story
is that the unbeliever leaves.

781
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,292
So, let's say it's two
unbelievers get married,

782
00:38:20,333 --> 00:38:23,083
and one converts, becomes
a Christian, and the other says,

783
00:38:23,167 --> 00:38:25,083
"I want nothing
to do with Jesus.

784
00:38:25,167 --> 00:38:29,583
I'm out of here," and leaves.

785
00:38:29,667 --> 00:38:32,292
It says you're not bound
in such circumstances.

786
00:38:32,333 --> 00:38:36,792
Sadly, it's over.

787
00:38:36,833 --> 00:38:38,792
It's over.

788
00:38:38,833 --> 00:38:43,292
Treachery in Malachi 2
or treasonous betrayal.

789
00:38:43,333 --> 00:38:49,125
This could include a husband
who beats his wife--

790
00:38:49,208 --> 00:38:53,958
violence, threat of safety.

791
00:38:54,042 --> 00:38:59,958
Treacherous, treasonous,
dangerous, violent behavior.

792
00:39:00,125 --> 00:39:02,167
And as a father
with a daughter, I think,

793
00:39:02,292 --> 00:39:05,083
"Wow, what a horrible situation.

794
00:39:05,167 --> 00:39:06,625
"God forbid that my daughter

795
00:39:06,667 --> 00:39:10,750
would be
in a situation like that."

796
00:39:10,833 --> 00:39:13,125
And number six,
hardness of heart.

797
00:39:13,167 --> 00:39:17,417
Moses speaks of this,
and Jesus echoes this.

798
00:39:17,500 --> 00:39:19,292
Moses permitted divorce,
the Bible says,

799
00:39:19,333 --> 00:39:20,792
because
of the hardness of heart.

800
00:39:20,833 --> 00:39:22,667
And what this is,
this is someone

801
00:39:22,792 --> 00:39:24,167
who refuses
to talk about it,

802
00:39:24,292 --> 00:39:26,667
refuses to deal with it,
refuses to work on it.

803
00:39:26,792 --> 00:39:30,625
And we're not talking for
a short time--for a long time.

804
00:39:30,667 --> 00:39:32,458
And I don't mean
to get graphic,

805
00:39:32,500 --> 00:39:34,458
and I don't mean
to make this painful,

806
00:39:34,500 --> 00:39:37,458
but I'll give you one example
early on in Mars Hill.

807
00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:39,250
There was a guy
with little kids.

808
00:39:39,333 --> 00:39:41,500
Would come home from work,
pour himself a beer,

809
00:39:41,625 --> 00:39:42,958
pull back in his chair,

810
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:48,667
and put a porno on the big TV
in the living room every day.

811
00:39:48,750 --> 00:39:51,292
And his wife would be like,
"Please don't do that.

812
00:39:51,375 --> 00:39:55,375
The kids see this,
and this is wrong,

813
00:39:55,458 --> 00:40:00,125
and it's--please don't
do this," for a long time.

814
00:40:00,208 --> 00:40:02,792
His answer was,
"I work hard all day.

815
00:40:02,875 --> 00:40:05,542
"I deserve a break.
It's my house.

816
00:40:05,625 --> 00:40:06,958
"It's my TV.

817
00:40:07,042 --> 00:40:09,125
"I get to do
what I want to do,

818
00:40:09,208 --> 00:40:12,875
and if you don't like it,
you can leave."

819
00:40:12,958 --> 00:40:19,042
But your daughters are watching,
and your sons are watching.

820
00:40:19,125 --> 00:40:21,708
Just hardness of heart,

821
00:40:21,792 --> 00:40:28,208
unwilling to even deal with
what is obviously a problem.

822
00:40:29,958 --> 00:40:33,958
Now, a couple of things
when it comes to divorce.

823
00:40:34,042 --> 00:40:39,042
You do not have to divorce
even if you have grounds to.

824
00:40:39,125 --> 00:40:41,708
You don't have
to get a divorce,

825
00:40:41,792 --> 00:40:47,333
even if you have a reason
that's biblical.

826
00:40:47,375 --> 00:40:51,167
You cannot make
this decision in isolation.

827
00:40:51,208 --> 00:40:54,125
You can't say, "I'm going to go
home, and study the Bible,

828
00:40:54,167 --> 00:40:56,833
and come to my own conclusion,
and make my own decision."

829
00:40:56,875 --> 00:40:58,208
No, no, no.

830
00:40:58,333 --> 00:41:00,125
I would encourage you,
invite others in.

831
00:41:00,208 --> 00:41:02,000
Invite godly, wise counsel.

832
00:41:02,083 --> 00:41:04,375
I've seen some people, they get
really bitter and frustrated.

833
00:41:04,458 --> 00:41:06,000
They get
all their divorced friends,

834
00:41:06,083 --> 00:41:07,500
"What do you guys think?"

835
00:41:07,583 --> 00:41:10,875
Well, I can tell you what
their counsel's going to be.

836
00:41:10,958 --> 00:41:12,875
Alright, this is,
you're an alcoholic,

837
00:41:12,958 --> 00:41:16,708
and for the intervention
you bring in the bartenders.

838
00:41:16,792 --> 00:41:20,792
Not the best counsel.

839
00:41:20,875 --> 00:41:25,167
Don't do surgery
on yourself either, alright?

840
00:41:25,250 --> 00:41:27,125
There's certain things
you invite other people in

841
00:41:27,208 --> 00:41:29,000
because it's not best for you

842
00:41:29,083 --> 00:41:32,208
to take care
of those things by yourself.

843
00:41:32,292 --> 00:41:34,000
So, get pastors
in the church involved,

844
00:41:34,083 --> 00:41:35,542
get good,
godly counsel,

845
00:41:35,625 --> 00:41:37,875
get biblical
counselors involved.

846
00:41:37,958 --> 00:41:42,375
Don't make
this decision in isolation.

847
00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:43,833
Don't make
this decision in haste.

848
00:41:43,875 --> 00:41:45,625
You're frustrated--"that's it,
I'm sick of it,

849
00:41:45,667 --> 00:41:47,958
I'm done, that's over."

850
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:52,625
Don't run into marriage,
and don't run out of marriage.

851
00:41:52,667 --> 00:41:55,208
Don't be hasty,
don't be impatient,

852
00:41:55,333 --> 00:41:56,542
don't be impetuous.

853
00:41:56,667 --> 00:41:58,125
Don't just have a bad day,

854
00:41:58,167 --> 00:42:04,292
and set the thing on fire,
and walk away.

855
00:42:04,375 --> 00:42:08,125
You cannot make
this decision in lust.

856
00:42:08,208 --> 00:42:13,625
"I'm married to them, oh, but I
really have a thing for them."

857
00:42:13,708 --> 00:42:15,875
Then, even if you have
biblical grounds for divorce,

858
00:42:15,958 --> 00:42:19,208
you don't have
a biblical heart.

859
00:42:24,208 --> 00:42:28,625
And let me say this, you should
never get married because--

860
00:42:28,708 --> 00:42:31,792
or, let me say it
a different way.

861
00:42:31,875 --> 00:42:36,625
You should never get divorced
because you want to.

862
00:42:36,708 --> 00:42:41,875
You should only get divorced
because you have to.

863
00:42:41,958 --> 00:42:46,125
You've prayed,
you've waited, you've tried.

864
00:42:46,167 --> 00:42:50,708
Sadly, tragically,
grievously, you're there,

865
00:42:50,833 --> 00:42:53,542
but you're always leaving
room for the grace of God

866
00:42:53,667 --> 00:42:59,708
and hoping
for something miraculous.

867
00:42:59,833 --> 00:43:02,708
We had a situation in one of
our Mars Hill churches recently.

868
00:43:02,792 --> 00:43:06,375
A couple had been married
20 years, filed for divorce,

869
00:43:06,458 --> 00:43:12,875
attorneys involved, everything's
going toward the end.

870
00:43:12,958 --> 00:43:15,708
And they realized
Jesus died for their sins,

871
00:43:15,792 --> 00:43:17,708
so they didn't need to kill
their marriage.

872
00:43:17,792 --> 00:43:19,875
Jesus rose to give them
a new marriage,

873
00:43:19,958 --> 00:43:22,125
a new life, a new start.

874
00:43:22,208 --> 00:43:24,125
Through the grace of God
and Jesus Christ,

875
00:43:24,208 --> 00:43:25,708
they forgave
one another, reconciled,

876
00:43:25,792 --> 00:43:27,042
stood before the church,

877
00:43:27,125 --> 00:43:30,208
and tore up their
divorce papers.

878
00:43:30,292 --> 00:43:32,625
It doesn't happen all the time,

879
00:43:32,708 --> 00:43:37,583
but we want to have it happen
as often as possible.

880
00:43:40,875 --> 00:43:44,833
Why?

881
00:43:44,875 --> 00:43:47,667
I was talking to a guy
with tears in his eyes

882
00:43:47,708 --> 00:43:49,667
before this service.

883
00:43:49,708 --> 00:43:54,458
He said, "Pastor Mark, my dad
just walked out on the family."

884
00:43:54,500 --> 00:43:56,208
I said, "Why did he do that?"

885
00:43:56,333 --> 00:44:00,375
He said, "He told my mom
he just wanted to be happy."

886
00:44:00,458 --> 00:44:02,208
That guy's
not going to be happy.

887
00:44:02,292 --> 00:44:05,625
He's been lied to.

888
00:44:05,708 --> 00:44:09,458
Lose your wife, lose your kids,
awkward Christmas,

889
00:44:09,542 --> 00:44:12,208
strained relationship
with the grandkids.

890
00:44:12,292 --> 00:44:14,958
Happy?
Not the word I would pick.

891
00:44:21,083 --> 00:44:25,958
God wants us to be holy.

892
00:44:26,042 --> 00:44:31,708
Sometimes, sometimes

893
00:44:31,792 --> 00:44:36,625
happiness is on
the other side of holiness,

894
00:44:36,708 --> 00:44:42,708
but happiness is never
at the price of holiness.

895
00:44:44,542 --> 00:44:49,708
What is God seeking through your
marriage, through my marriage?

896
00:44:49,833 --> 00:44:51,375
Nine out of ten of you

897
00:44:51,500 --> 00:44:54,958
statistically will be married
at some point in your lifetime.

898
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:57,208
Don't be yet another foolish
American who says,

899
00:44:57,333 --> 00:45:00,708
"I just want to be happy."

900
00:45:00,792 --> 00:45:05,542
I've seen people go through
five spouses, still miserable.

901
00:45:05,625 --> 00:45:09,708
Here's what God is seeking
through your marriage and mind.

902
00:45:12,792 --> 00:45:16,958
And the big idea is that a
good legacy beats a good time.

903
00:45:17,042 --> 00:45:19,875
We live in a day--
it's all about a good time.

904
00:45:19,958 --> 00:45:23,208
The Bible's
all about a good legacy.

905
00:45:23,292 --> 00:45:25,125
We tend to think
about the weekend,

906
00:45:25,208 --> 00:45:30,208
and God wants us to think
unto 1,000 generations.

907
00:45:30,292 --> 00:45:34,708
Malachi 2:15-17, "And
what was the one God seeking?"

908
00:45:34,792 --> 00:45:36,125
Here's the big idea:

909
00:45:36,208 --> 00:45:40,625
It's not about what you want
from your marriage.

910
00:45:40,708 --> 00:45:42,042
It's not.

911
00:45:42,125 --> 00:45:44,542
"I want to be happy.
I want to be satisfied.

912
00:45:44,625 --> 00:45:46,042
"I want to have better sex.

913
00:45:46,125 --> 00:45:47,542
"I want somebody
who appreciates me.

914
00:45:47,625 --> 00:45:49,625
"I want somebody
who doesn't put on weight.

915
00:45:49,708 --> 00:45:51,375
"I want somebody
who's nice to me.

916
00:45:51,458 --> 00:45:53,792
I want, I want,
I want, I want, I want."

917
00:45:53,875 --> 00:45:57,542
God says, "Listen kids,
you don't know what you need.

918
00:45:57,625 --> 00:46:01,167
"You know what you want, but
you don't know what you need.

919
00:46:01,292 --> 00:46:03,625
"I'm your Dad.
I see everybody.

920
00:46:03,667 --> 00:46:07,500
"I'm at every wedding.
I've heard every vow.

921
00:46:07,625 --> 00:46:10,792
"I've been here
before time began.

922
00:46:10,833 --> 00:46:14,292
"I officiated the first wedding
between your first parents.

923
00:46:14,333 --> 00:46:20,000
"Trust me,
I know what you need.

924
00:46:20,125 --> 00:46:22,792
Don't tell me what you want.
I know what you need.

925
00:46:22,833 --> 00:46:27,458
I'm your Dad; listen to me."

926
00:46:27,500 --> 00:46:33,958
The grandkids are at stake, the
great-grandkids are at stake.

927
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:40,167
You've got to look beyond
your pants and your weekend.

928
00:46:40,292 --> 00:46:43,500
"What was the one God seeking?"

929
00:46:43,583 --> 00:46:45,375
Well, the one
God's seeking one thing.

930
00:46:45,458 --> 00:46:48,708
What is it, Mars Hill?

931
00:46:48,792 --> 00:46:50,875
Hey dads, say it.

932
00:46:50,958 --> 00:46:53,000
"Godly offspring."

933
00:46:53,083 --> 00:46:59,375
Dads, say it.
"Godly offspring."

934
00:46:59,458 --> 00:47:02,625
Most guys
are far more motivated

935
00:47:02,667 --> 00:47:07,458
for the work that creates the
offspring than the godly part.

936
00:47:07,500 --> 00:47:09,458
A lot of people today,
they're like,

937
00:47:09,500 --> 00:47:11,583
"I would like
to have a little fun,

938
00:47:11,667 --> 00:47:13,792
and well, you know,
if you get an offspring,

939
00:47:13,833 --> 00:47:16,333
you get an offspring."

940
00:47:16,458 --> 00:47:18,333
You can make
a child in a night,

941
00:47:18,458 --> 00:47:22,458
but it takes a lifetime to raise
that child to be godly.

942
00:47:22,500 --> 00:47:24,667
It's a lot of work.

943
00:47:24,792 --> 00:47:26,292
"So guard yourselves
in your spirit."

944
00:47:26,333 --> 00:47:28,833
Check your heart.
Don't be a fool, right?

945
00:47:28,958 --> 00:47:30,958
Make sure you only heed
wise counsel.

946
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:33,333
Don't jump
in the river of death

947
00:47:33,458 --> 00:47:37,458
and swim along
with everybody else.

948
00:47:37,500 --> 00:47:39,292
"And let none of you
be faithless

949
00:47:39,333 --> 00:47:41,833
"to the wife
of your youth.

950
00:47:41,958 --> 00:47:44,667
"'For the man who does not love
his wife but divorces her,

951
00:47:44,750 --> 00:47:46,500
"says the Lord,
the God of Israel,

952
00:47:46,583 --> 00:47:48,292
"covers his garment
with violence,

953
00:47:48,375 --> 00:47:51,000
"says the Lord of hosts.

954
00:47:51,083 --> 00:47:52,667
"So guard yourselves
in your spirit,

955
00:47:52,750 --> 00:47:55,625
"and do not be faithless.'

956
00:47:55,708 --> 00:47:57,625
"You have wearied
the Lord with your words.

957
00:47:57,708 --> 00:47:59,708
"But you say,
'How have we wearied him?'

958
00:47:59,792 --> 00:48:01,250
"By saying, 'Everyone
who does evil

959
00:48:01,333 --> 00:48:03,333
"is good in the sight
of the Lord,

960
00:48:03,458 --> 00:48:04,792
"and he delights in them.'

961
00:48:04,833 --> 00:48:07,333
Or by asking,
'Where is the God of justice?'"

962
00:48:07,458 --> 00:48:10,250
Here, he's talking
about divorce

963
00:48:10,333 --> 00:48:13,458
among those who would profess
to be believers.

964
00:48:13,500 --> 00:48:17,667
And the situation is older men
divorcing their wives

965
00:48:17,792 --> 00:48:19,625
to run off
with younger women.

966
00:48:19,667 --> 00:48:25,125
Wow, does this
not sound current?

967
00:48:25,167 --> 00:48:27,083
He talks about
the wife of your youth.

968
00:48:27,167 --> 00:48:30,292
He lays a lot
of responsibility on us men.

969
00:48:30,333 --> 00:48:31,833
Here's what happens
to a guy:

970
00:48:31,958 --> 00:48:35,333
He gets married young,
has kids.

971
00:48:35,458 --> 00:48:38,958
He and his wife get older,
has a midlife crisis.

972
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:42,083
The kids are grown,
the wife is not as involved

973
00:48:42,167 --> 00:48:44,875
in the raising of the children
as she once was.

974
00:48:44,958 --> 00:48:47,625
He has
a midlife crisis, thinks,

975
00:48:47,708 --> 00:48:49,875
"I want to be
with a younger woman,"

976
00:48:49,958 --> 00:48:53,875
divorces his believing
wife, shipwrecks his legacy,

977
00:48:53,958 --> 00:48:59,667
and runs off with another woman
in the name of being "happy."

978
00:48:59,750 --> 00:49:03,125
This is 2,500 years ago,
and here's what happens:

979
00:49:03,167 --> 00:49:04,458
it's so effective

980
00:49:04,500 --> 00:49:06,833
that Satan just keeps
handing the same script,

981
00:49:06,958 --> 00:49:11,292
one generation after the next,
to the fool's parade.

982
00:49:14,833 --> 00:49:16,250
And God wants godly offspring.

983
00:49:16,333 --> 00:49:19,625
He wants you to love the Lord,
your kids to love the Lord,

984
00:49:19,667 --> 00:49:21,292
your grandkids
to love the Lord,

985
00:49:21,333 --> 00:49:23,000
your great-grandkids
to love the Lord.

986
00:49:23,125 --> 00:49:27,792
This is the last thing God's
going to say for 400 years,

987
00:49:27,833 --> 00:49:29,625
and so it's a really big deal.

988
00:49:29,667 --> 00:49:31,292
They're waiting
for Jesus to come;

989
00:49:31,333 --> 00:49:33,125
we're waiting
for Jesus to come back.

990
00:49:33,167 --> 00:49:35,833
They're supposed
to be about godly offspring

991
00:49:35,958 --> 00:49:37,292
until he shows up;

992
00:49:37,333 --> 00:49:38,833
we're to be about
godly offspring

993
00:49:38,958 --> 00:49:42,167
until he shows up again.

994
00:49:42,292 --> 00:49:45,375
Now, how many of you, in
your Bible here in Malachi 2:16,

995
00:49:45,458 --> 00:49:51,708
it says it this way:
"I hate divorce, says the Lord."

996
00:49:51,792 --> 00:49:54,625
How many of you have heard
this: "God hates divorce"?

997
00:49:54,708 --> 00:49:56,042
Have you heard that?

998
00:49:56,125 --> 00:49:58,292
A lot of people
who don't know the Bible,

999
00:49:58,375 --> 00:50:00,167
that's the only thing
in the Bible

1000
00:50:00,250 --> 00:50:01,792
that they do know
about divorce.

1001
00:50:01,875 --> 00:50:03,500
What does God
say about divorce?

1002
00:50:03,583 --> 00:50:04,958
God hates divorce.

1003
00:50:05,042 --> 00:50:06,375
And then what this becomes,

1004
00:50:06,458 --> 00:50:07,792
this becomes
an unreasonable expectation,

1005
00:50:07,875 --> 00:50:09,208
sometimes
particularly for women,

1006
00:50:09,292 --> 00:50:10,875
to live
under abusive circumstances

1007
00:50:10,958 --> 00:50:12,875
with men
who disregard all the rest

1008
00:50:12,958 --> 00:50:15,167
of what the Bible
says about loving

1009
00:50:15,250 --> 00:50:16,500
and cherishing your wife

1010
00:50:16,583 --> 00:50:21,958
and not being harsh
with her.

1011
00:50:22,042 --> 00:50:24,333
A couple of things
I want to say about this.

1012
00:50:24,417 --> 00:50:26,500
The Bible does say
that God hates divorce,

1013
00:50:26,583 --> 00:50:30,625
but it does not say
that God hates the divorcée.

1014
00:50:30,708 --> 00:50:32,667
If you're at Mars Hill
and you're wondering,

1015
00:50:32,750 --> 00:50:34,958
"OK, I'm divorced.
Does that mean God hates me?"

1016
00:50:35,042 --> 00:50:37,875
No.

1017
00:50:37,958 --> 00:50:40,708
I've got three sons
and two daughters,

1018
00:50:40,792 --> 00:50:42,792
and I hope
that they get married,

1019
00:50:42,875 --> 00:50:45,208
and if someday--
God forbid,

1020
00:50:45,333 --> 00:50:48,167
I pray it never happens,
I'm going to do all I can.

1021
00:50:48,208 --> 00:50:49,958
But if, God forbid, they
get divorced,

1022
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:51,333
I will hate the divorce,

1023
00:50:51,375 --> 00:50:53,500
but I'm not going
to hate my kids.

1024
00:50:53,542 --> 00:50:57,875
God's a Father,
loves his kids.

1025
00:50:58,000 --> 00:50:59,958
He may hate some of the
circumstances,

1026
00:51:00,083 --> 00:51:02,458
either through their sin,
or the sin of their spouse,

1027
00:51:02,542 --> 00:51:06,000
or both of them,
but he doesn't hate his kids.

1028
00:51:06,083 --> 00:51:10,625
God doesn't hate you.

1029
00:51:10,708 --> 00:51:12,167
God hates divorce

1030
00:51:12,250 --> 00:51:15,000
in the same way that divorced
people hate divorce.

1031
00:51:15,083 --> 00:51:17,292
I was talking to a divorcée
recently, a woman.

1032
00:51:17,375 --> 00:51:19,625
She's now a single mother.

1033
00:51:19,708 --> 00:51:22,375
Fell apart with her husband,
he ran off with another woman--

1034
00:51:22,458 --> 00:51:25,875
train wreck story,
not dissimilar to this.

1035
00:51:25,958 --> 00:51:27,708
She says,
"I hate where we're at.

1036
00:51:27,792 --> 00:51:29,125
"I hate being divorced.

1037
00:51:29,208 --> 00:51:31,625
"I hate that Christmas
is going to be so hard.

1038
00:51:31,708 --> 00:51:34,042
"I hate that my kids
are crying themselves to sleep.

1039
00:51:34,125 --> 00:51:35,875
I hate
what the future looks like."

1040
00:51:35,958 --> 00:51:37,875
She said, "I hate this."

1041
00:51:37,958 --> 00:51:42,125
Divorcées hate divorce, too.

1042
00:51:42,208 --> 00:51:44,125
God hates the pain,
and the hurt,

1043
00:51:44,167 --> 00:51:46,333
and the complexity
that divorce brings,

1044
00:51:46,375 --> 00:51:48,958
particularly
when children are involved.

1045
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:51,333
And some of you grew up
in those homes

1046
00:51:51,375 --> 00:51:54,708
and you know
exactly what that feels like.

1047
00:51:54,833 --> 00:51:58,333
But God
does not hate the divorcée.

1048
00:51:58,375 --> 00:52:00,667
God hates the fact
that our marriages

1049
00:52:00,750 --> 00:52:02,667
are to be pictures
of the big marriage,

1050
00:52:02,750 --> 00:52:04,208
that Jesus is like a groom

1051
00:52:04,292 --> 00:52:06,042
and the church
is like his bride.

1052
00:52:06,125 --> 00:52:08,042
And he loves her,
he never leaves her,

1053
00:52:08,125 --> 00:52:10,000
he never forsakes her,
he never abuses her,

1054
00:52:10,083 --> 00:52:11,875
he never betrays her.

1055
00:52:11,958 --> 00:52:15,167
And our little marriages are to
be reflections, and pictures,

1056
00:52:15,250 --> 00:52:17,833
and portraits
of the big marriage.

1057
00:52:17,917 --> 00:52:19,375
And when God's people
get divorced,

1058
00:52:19,458 --> 00:52:22,625
it grieves God because
it sends a confusing message

1059
00:52:22,708 --> 00:52:25,458
about Jesus' affection
and devotion to his people

1060
00:52:25,542 --> 00:52:28,292
in the covenant of salvation.

1061
00:52:32,708 --> 00:52:35,000
God does hate divorce,
but we need to make sure

1062
00:52:35,083 --> 00:52:40,500
that we don't lift
a principle from a context.

1063
00:52:40,583 --> 00:52:42,500
The context here
is that God hates divorces

1064
00:52:42,583 --> 00:52:46,167
like those
that are happening in Malachi.

1065
00:52:49,833 --> 00:52:52,708
I think of it like a father.

1066
00:52:52,833 --> 00:52:54,375
I've got a 16-year-old daughter.

1067
00:52:54,500 --> 00:52:59,875
I've got
an 11-year-old daughter.

1068
00:53:02,625 --> 00:53:05,208
Man, I've got
a 9-year-old daughter,

1069
00:53:05,292 --> 00:53:11,083
I've got an 11-year-old son,

1070
00:53:13,042 --> 00:53:19,042
and apparently
a fading memory.

1071
00:53:19,125 --> 00:53:24,125
My daughters are priceless.

1072
00:53:26,125 --> 00:53:28,708
You know, I'll tell you
two things that come to mind:

1073
00:53:28,792 --> 00:53:32,708
My 16-year-old daughter,
a couple weeks ago,

1074
00:53:32,792 --> 00:53:34,375
somebody that she knows,

1075
00:53:34,458 --> 00:53:36,208
the dad ran off
with another woman.

1076
00:53:36,292 --> 00:53:38,125
They're supposed
to be a Christian family--

1077
00:53:38,208 --> 00:53:39,708
total disaster.

1078
00:53:39,792 --> 00:53:42,875
And I looked at her, I said,
"Honey, what if Daddy did that?"

1079
00:53:42,958 --> 00:53:45,833
I said, "I haven't,
and I won't, but what if I did?"

1080
00:53:45,875 --> 00:53:50,875
She said, "If I can't trust you,
I can't trust any man."

1081
00:53:53,333 --> 00:53:58,000
OK.

1082
00:53:58,042 --> 00:54:01,708
Alexi sat on my lap
yesterday for 2 hours,

1083
00:54:01,792 --> 00:54:03,208
and then we had dinner,

1084
00:54:03,292 --> 00:54:07,042
and then she sat on my lap
for another 2 hours.

1085
00:54:07,125 --> 00:54:10,375
She's super affectionate.

1086
00:54:10,458 --> 00:54:12,792
I looked at her
and one point and I said,

1087
00:54:12,875 --> 00:54:14,625
"Honey,
do you like snuggling with me?"

1088
00:54:14,708 --> 00:54:17,208
She said, "Yeah, you keep me
warm, you keep me safe,

1089
00:54:17,292 --> 00:54:19,833
and I love you, Papa Daddy,"
and she's rubbing my beard.

1090
00:54:19,917 --> 00:54:23,333
I said, "Honey, if you're ever
dating a man or married to a man

1091
00:54:23,417 --> 00:54:26,542
"and you don't feel safe
with him, you need to tell me,

1092
00:54:26,625 --> 00:54:29,208
"because you need
to feel safe.

1093
00:54:29,292 --> 00:54:34,833
And if you don't feel safe,
I will take care of it."

1094
00:54:34,917 --> 00:54:37,292
No, I mean, OK,

1095
00:54:37,375 --> 00:54:40,375
just make these little deposits
for future withdrawals.

1096
00:54:40,458 --> 00:54:46,000
She looks at me,
she says, "I will, Daddy."

1097
00:54:46,042 --> 00:54:49,500
The reason God is angry
is God's a Father.

1098
00:54:49,542 --> 00:54:52,042
The reason
God is worn out

1099
00:54:52,167 --> 00:54:54,458
is that all his kids
keep making the same mistake,

1100
00:54:54,500 --> 00:54:57,792
committing the same sin.

1101
00:54:57,833 --> 00:54:59,833
God's looking
at his daughters saying,

1102
00:54:59,875 --> 00:55:02,542
"She's a believer,
married a believer,

1103
00:55:02,625 --> 00:55:05,333
"they got married
in my presence under the Lord.

1104
00:55:05,417 --> 00:55:09,333
"You know, the pastor read the
verses. Everything was official.

1105
00:55:09,417 --> 00:55:11,500
"She gave him kids.

1106
00:55:11,583 --> 00:55:14,208
"She wasn't perfect,
but she loved him.

1107
00:55:14,292 --> 00:55:17,958
"She raised the kids,
he got older,

1108
00:55:18,042 --> 00:55:19,458
"made enough money
to divorce her

1109
00:55:19,542 --> 00:55:23,125
and run off
with a younger woman."

1110
00:55:23,208 --> 00:55:26,208
And the Father's looking
at it going, "I hate that.

1111
00:55:26,292 --> 00:55:32,500
I hate that my daughters
are treated that way."

1112
00:55:32,583 --> 00:55:35,208
And God says,
"I'm so weary by this.

1113
00:55:35,292 --> 00:55:41,125
I'm so exhausted by this."

1114
00:55:41,208 --> 00:55:44,625
What exhausts you?
What are you sick of?

1115
00:55:44,708 --> 00:55:46,833
What are you
just tired of dealing with?

1116
00:55:46,917 --> 00:55:52,125
God says, "Marriages like this,
but especially men like this.

1117
00:55:52,208 --> 00:55:57,792
I'm just so tired,
so exhausted by it."

1118
00:55:57,875 --> 00:56:00,417
And God says, "Here's
what even frustrates me more.

1119
00:56:00,500 --> 00:56:01,958
"Religious leaders
and teachers get up

1120
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:06,917
and call evil good
and good evil."

1121
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,625
Which means,
oh, at this church,

1122
00:56:08,667 --> 00:56:10,583
they want you to work
on your marriage.

1123
00:56:10,667 --> 00:56:11,917
You don't feel like it,

1124
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:13,833
you met somebody else,
go to this church,

1125
00:56:13,958 --> 00:56:16,458
and pastor going to hell
tells you, "Oh, that's OK.

1126
00:56:16,500 --> 00:56:18,625
"God's alright with you.

1127
00:56:18,667 --> 00:56:20,625
"In the Greek, evil's good,
and good's evil,

1128
00:56:20,667 --> 00:56:22,083
"and adultery's love,

1129
00:56:22,167 --> 00:56:23,917
"and look at that,
look at that.

1130
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:25,750
"We took the Bible,
we did origami,

1131
00:56:25,833 --> 00:56:29,167
we made it
into something else."

1132
00:56:29,292 --> 00:56:31,625
You can find a book,
you can find a preacher,

1133
00:56:31,667 --> 00:56:32,958
you can find a conference,

1134
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:35,083
you can find
a counselor to tell you

1135
00:56:35,167 --> 00:56:38,292
whatever it is you want to hear.

1136
00:56:38,333 --> 00:56:40,958
You write the check;
they'll give you the answer

1137
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:44,875
because that's
what false prophets do.

1138
00:56:44,958 --> 00:56:48,125
God says, "I'm sick of it."

1139
00:56:48,208 --> 00:56:51,458
God's like a dad looking
at his grandkids

1140
00:56:51,542 --> 00:56:53,625
who are shipwrecked saying,

1141
00:56:53,708 --> 00:56:55,667
"Does anybody else
care about the kids here?

1142
00:56:55,750 --> 00:56:57,542
"Does anybody else
care about the grandkids?

1143
00:56:57,625 --> 00:57:01,083
Anybody else
thinking about the legacy?"

1144
00:57:01,167 --> 00:57:03,958
Godly offspring.

1145
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:05,333
Men and women,

1146
00:57:05,458 --> 00:57:07,750
we're both accountable
in the sight of the Lord,

1147
00:57:07,833 --> 00:57:09,083
but you husbands
and fathers,

1148
00:57:09,167 --> 00:57:12,292
I've got to get your heart
today,
and God needs to keep it.

1149
00:57:12,333 --> 00:57:15,792
You need to have the father's
heart if you're a father.

1150
00:57:15,833 --> 00:57:20,292
Godly offspring.

1151
00:57:20,333 --> 00:57:21,667
Three things you can do

1152
00:57:21,792 --> 00:57:24,083
to help make that
statistically more probable.

1153
00:57:24,167 --> 00:57:27,667
It's not guaranteed,
but it's more probable.

1154
00:57:27,792 --> 00:57:29,833
A-B-C.

1155
00:57:29,958 --> 00:57:32,167
It begins with the adults.

1156
00:57:32,292 --> 00:57:34,333
Statistically, if mom
and dad worship the Lord,

1157
00:57:34,458 --> 00:57:37,750
read the Bible, pray,
go to church, the kids do, too.

1158
00:57:37,833 --> 00:57:39,750
Pray with your kids.
Pray for your kids.

1159
00:57:39,833 --> 00:57:41,625
It starts with the adults, OK?

1160
00:57:41,667 --> 00:57:44,000
If you're a single mom
or you're a single dad,

1161
00:57:44,083 --> 00:57:45,500
it's all on you.

1162
00:57:45,583 --> 00:57:48,708
You're a mom and a dad;
it's on both of you. And dads,

1163
00:57:48,792 --> 00:57:50,375
you've got to lead the way.

1164
00:57:50,458 --> 00:57:52,208
You are the spiritual head
of household.

1165
00:57:52,292 --> 00:57:56,375
You are the most influential
person in your family, period.

1166
00:57:56,458 --> 00:57:59,167
It starts
with the adults, right?

1167
00:57:59,250 --> 00:58:04,833
You can't hand off a legacy
of faith that you don't have.

1168
00:58:04,958 --> 00:58:07,292
You can't connect
the next link in the chain

1169
00:58:07,333 --> 00:58:09,958
if you're not connected.

1170
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:11,292
Do you know Jesus?

1171
00:58:11,333 --> 00:58:13,750
Have you turned from sin
and trusted in him?

1172
00:58:13,833 --> 00:58:19,917
And men, dads,
fathers, are you saved?

1173
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:23,667
Number two, the Bible.

1174
00:58:23,792 --> 00:58:26,458
Got to have copies
of the Bible in your home,

1175
00:58:26,500 --> 00:58:28,667
appropriate
for each age of the kids.

1176
00:58:28,792 --> 00:58:30,167
You've got
little kids, kids' Bible;

1177
00:58:30,292 --> 00:58:31,833
teens,
find something that works;

1178
00:58:31,958 --> 00:58:34,083
study Bible
for the bigger kids.

1179
00:58:34,167 --> 00:58:36,250
The kids should know
that Dad's got a Bible,

1180
00:58:36,333 --> 00:58:38,292
Mom's got a Bible.
They read the Bible,

1181
00:58:38,333 --> 00:58:40,333
they study the Bible,
they appreciate the Bible,

1182
00:58:40,458 --> 00:58:41,792
they listen to the Bible,

1183
00:58:41,833 --> 00:58:43,625
they answer their questions
with the Bible,

1184
00:58:43,708 --> 00:58:45,375
because the Bible
that is falling apart

1185
00:58:45,458 --> 00:58:49,208
is often
in the home that is not.

1186
00:58:49,292 --> 00:58:55,125
And thirdly, A-B-C, church.

1187
00:58:55,208 --> 00:58:56,500
You're part of God's family.

1188
00:58:56,583 --> 00:59:00,083
You don't just have your family;
you're part of God's family.

1189
00:59:00,167 --> 00:59:02,750
You're under the authority
of a local leadership.

1190
00:59:02,833 --> 00:59:04,458
You're under
the preaching of God's Word.

1191
00:59:04,500 --> 00:59:05,958
You're in community.

1192
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:07,458
You have relationships.

1193
00:59:07,500 --> 00:59:09,458
The wives are giving wisdom
to one another.

1194
00:59:09,500 --> 00:59:11,458
The husbands are giving wisdom
to one another.

1195
00:59:11,500 --> 00:59:13,958
You're inviting singles in
to help give an example

1196
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:16,083
for what
godly singleness looks like

1197
00:59:16,167 --> 00:59:17,667
for your children's future,

1198
00:59:17,792 --> 00:59:20,792
because they'll all be single
at least for a season,

1199
00:59:20,833 --> 00:59:24,417
some for their lifetime.

1200
00:59:24,500 --> 00:59:26,333
And it's welcoming others
into your life

1201
00:59:26,458 --> 00:59:28,167
and you pouring
into their life,

1202
00:59:28,292 --> 00:59:29,625
because
to have a good family,

1203
00:59:29,667 --> 00:59:33,000
it takes participation
in the church family.

1204
00:59:33,125 --> 00:59:34,458
And some of the people

1205
00:59:34,500 --> 00:59:36,792
that have made the biggest
deposits in my children

1206
00:59:36,833 --> 00:59:38,583
are people that
are unmarried, and widowed,

1207
00:59:38,667 --> 00:59:40,958
and some of them
are divorced and love Jesus.

1208
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:45,292
And they've made deposits
into my kids that are priceless,

1209
00:59:45,375 --> 00:59:48,875
and we're part
of their spiritual legacy.

1210
00:59:48,958 --> 00:59:52,375
There is no silver bullet
that guarantees godly offspring,

1211
00:59:52,458 --> 00:59:55,042
but these three things,
statistically and biblically,

1212
00:59:55,125 --> 00:59:58,708
they increase your probability.

1213
00:59:58,792 --> 01:00:01,458
Now, let me
just close with this:

1214
01:00:01,542 --> 01:00:04,375
I'm not pretending it's easy.

1215
01:00:04,458 --> 01:00:06,667
Grace and I met at 17.

1216
01:00:06,750 --> 01:00:11,292
We've been together
25 years, married for 20.

1217
01:00:11,375 --> 01:00:14,958
Some days are good,
other days are tough.

1218
01:00:15,042 --> 01:00:17,125
A lot of the criticisms
against Grace and I,

1219
01:00:17,208 --> 01:00:18,625
even in our marriage book, is,

1220
01:00:18,708 --> 01:00:20,125
"You talked
about the hard parts."

1221
01:00:20,208 --> 01:00:22,125
Yeah, yeah,
I want to give the impression

1222
01:00:22,208 --> 01:00:27,792
that Jesus is perfect
and the rest of us need him.

1223
01:00:27,875 --> 01:00:29,542
I love Grace
with all my heart,

1224
01:00:29,625 --> 01:00:31,875
and sometimes
she drives me crazy.

1225
01:00:31,958 --> 01:00:33,625
Grace loves me
with all her heart,

1226
01:00:33,708 --> 01:00:35,000
and I drive her crazy

1227
01:00:35,083 --> 01:00:37,042
way more often
than she drives me crazy.

1228
01:00:37,125 --> 01:00:38,500
Can you imagine?

1229
01:00:38,583 --> 01:00:40,292
I couldn't imagine
being married to me.

1230
01:00:40,375 --> 01:00:43,250
It just dawned on me.

1231
01:00:43,333 --> 01:00:45,958
If there were two of me,
one would have to die.

1232
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:49,625
I just couldn't imagine that.

1233
01:00:49,667 --> 01:00:51,667
So Friday,
Grace and I had a date,

1234
01:00:51,708 --> 01:00:54,542
and we had
a disagreement.

1235
01:00:54,667 --> 01:00:59,833
We had a little thing, right?

1236
01:00:59,875 --> 01:01:01,542
So, Friday was a rough day.

1237
01:01:01,625 --> 01:01:03,458
I was actually frustrated
and depressed, like,

1238
01:01:03,542 --> 01:01:06,292
"I'm going to preach
Malachi 2 and godly offspring,

1239
01:01:06,375 --> 01:01:09,292
and me and my wife
are sort of doing a little--"

1240
01:01:09,375 --> 01:01:12,708
you know, it's not like one of
us has got to call the police,

1241
01:01:12,792 --> 01:01:15,958
but we're both
looking at each other like,

1242
01:01:16,042 --> 01:01:18,958
"Really, really, really,
really, really, really?"

1243
01:01:19,042 --> 01:01:20,708
And God's looking
at us both like,

1244
01:01:20,792 --> 01:01:27,000
"Really, really,
really, really, really?"

1245
01:01:27,083 --> 01:01:28,792
We worked
through it by God's grace,

1246
01:01:28,875 --> 01:01:31,792
so Saturday was one of the best
days I've had all year.

1247
01:01:31,875 --> 01:01:34,792
My 7-year-old son and I, Gideon,
we go out and chop wood,

1248
01:01:34,875 --> 01:01:36,792
we start a big fire.

1249
01:01:36,875 --> 01:01:38,875
My sons get their knives
out, they're whittling,

1250
01:01:38,958 --> 01:01:41,708
making marshmallows,
roasting S'mores.

1251
01:01:41,792 --> 01:01:46,042
My wife comes in,
sits next to me on the couch,

1252
01:01:46,167 --> 01:01:47,875
the wife of my youth.

1253
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:50,667
Next thing you know,
all my kids are on the couch.

1254
01:01:50,708 --> 01:01:53,708
We have other places to sit.

1255
01:01:53,833 --> 01:01:56,333
They're all
on the couch, alright?

1256
01:01:56,375 --> 01:02:01,625
It's very uncomfortable
and very wonderful,

1257
01:02:01,708 --> 01:02:03,500
because there's the wife
of my youth,

1258
01:02:03,583 --> 01:02:05,542
and here's our legacy,
and we're all Christians,

1259
01:02:05,625 --> 01:02:08,000
and we're a family,
and we're sitting by the fire,

1260
01:02:08,083 --> 01:02:14,292
and praise God for his grace.

1261
01:02:14,375 --> 01:02:16,375
And some days
are going to be Friday,

1262
01:02:16,458 --> 01:02:18,708
and you really
need to focus all your energies

1263
01:02:18,792 --> 01:02:22,042
on remembering Saturday.

1264
01:02:22,125 --> 01:02:24,000
And I love you,
and God loves you,

1265
01:02:24,083 --> 01:02:26,542
and God's a Father,
and I have a father's heart,

1266
01:02:26,625 --> 01:02:28,292
and if you're going
to get married,

1267
01:02:28,375 --> 01:02:31,958
that's what I want for you, and
that's what God wants for you.

1268
01:02:32,042 --> 01:02:35,292
Godly legacy, godly offspring,

1269
01:02:35,375 --> 01:02:37,792
a covenant
with a wife of your youth.

1270
01:02:37,875 --> 01:02:41,708
At one point, Grace leaned over,
put her head on my shoulder,

1271
01:02:41,792 --> 01:02:46,333
she said, "Oh, it's going to be
so fun to have grandkids."

1272
01:02:46,375 --> 01:02:50,833
I was like, "Ashley's 16;
it's going to be a long time.

1273
01:02:50,875 --> 01:02:53,833
"You know, I'm sort
of freaking out right now

1274
01:02:53,875 --> 01:02:57,167
just thinking about this."

1275
01:02:57,208 --> 01:02:59,042
But I love that, in her heart,

1276
01:02:59,167 --> 01:03:02,042
she's looking
to the next generation.

1277
01:03:02,125 --> 01:03:04,875
She's looking down the horizon.

1278
01:03:04,958 --> 01:03:09,167
I want to grow old with her,
I want to be friends with her,

1279
01:03:09,250 --> 01:03:11,375
I want
to make memories with her,

1280
01:03:11,458 --> 01:03:14,792
I want
to raise grandkids with her.

1281
01:03:14,875 --> 01:03:18,208
And the lie is
that anything other than that

1282
01:03:18,292 --> 01:03:21,833
is better than that.

1283
01:03:21,917 --> 01:03:24,208
Mars Hill, we're at a point
now in God's grace,

1284
01:03:24,292 --> 01:03:27,792
a lot of you have been married,
a lot of you will be married,

1285
01:03:27,875 --> 01:03:30,292
we've had a lot of kids born,
a few thousand.

1286
01:03:30,375 --> 01:03:32,375
The question is,
will we leave a legacy?

1287
01:03:32,458 --> 01:03:34,000
Will we be
a one-generation church

1288
01:03:34,083 --> 01:03:35,500
or will we leave a legacy?

1289
01:03:35,583 --> 01:03:37,292
This is why
we're opening new locations.

1290
01:03:37,375 --> 01:03:39,125
This is why
we're buying new buildings.

1291
01:03:39,208 --> 01:03:41,958
This is why we're bringing in
the Bible College and Seminary.

1292
01:03:42,042 --> 01:03:43,833
And last week, first week,

1293
01:03:43,875 --> 01:03:47,208
300 students already
signed up and inquired,

1294
01:03:47,333 --> 01:03:49,667
so the next generation
is very motivated,

1295
01:03:49,708 --> 01:03:54,125
and we want to be very generous
to prepare for that future.

1296
01:03:54,167 --> 01:03:57,167
So, we're asking you to pray,
and please do,

1297
01:03:57,208 --> 01:03:59,708
and you've got
the 40 Days of Prayer.

1298
01:03:59,833 --> 01:04:01,875
In addition, we're asking you
to give generously,

1299
01:04:01,958 --> 01:04:04,375
and we'll collect
our tithes and offerings now.

1300
01:04:04,458 --> 01:04:05,875
And what we're looking for

1301
01:04:05,958 --> 01:04:08,375
is a big year-end bump
of a few million dollars,

1302
01:04:08,458 --> 01:04:11,875
at least to help us set up
our churches, and our schools,

1303
01:04:11,958 --> 01:04:15,375
and our church-planting
efforts for the future.

1304
01:04:15,458 --> 01:04:20,833
As they are collecting
our tithes and offerings,

1305
01:04:20,917 --> 01:04:25,042
I want you to know that
the decisions you make today

1306
01:04:25,125 --> 01:04:30,375
will affect people that have
not even been born yet,

1307
01:04:30,458 --> 01:04:33,708
just as decisions that were made
before you were born

1308
01:04:33,792 --> 01:04:37,625
have affected you.

1309
01:04:37,708 --> 01:04:40,458
And I want you to be thinking
about a good legacy

1310
01:04:40,542 --> 01:04:43,375
and not just a good time.

1311
01:04:43,500 --> 01:04:46,292
For those of you
who are single,

1312
01:04:46,333 --> 01:04:48,833
for those of you
who are married,

1313
01:04:48,875 --> 01:04:50,792
it involves
and it includes all of us.

1314
01:04:50,833 --> 01:04:52,542
For those of you who are single,

1315
01:04:52,667 --> 01:04:57,708
let me say there is something
worse than being single,

1316
01:04:57,833 --> 01:05:00,625
and that's being a person
in a godless marriage

1317
01:05:00,708 --> 01:05:03,042
that is very painful,
and complicated,

1318
01:05:03,125 --> 01:05:06,958
and gets only more complicated
when children are added.

1319
01:05:07,042 --> 01:05:09,333
Those who are in those
circumstances around you

1320
01:05:09,417 --> 01:05:13,333
would not raise their hand
and say that right now,

1321
01:05:13,417 --> 01:05:15,625
but off to the side,
in a quiet moment,

1322
01:05:15,708 --> 01:05:17,542
they would tell you
that they rushed

1323
01:05:17,625 --> 01:05:19,792
into something that they
should not have been in,

1324
01:05:19,875 --> 01:05:22,542
and it's been painful
and difficult ever since.

1325
01:05:22,625 --> 01:05:25,500
For those of you who
are married, by God's grace,

1326
01:05:25,583 --> 01:05:30,292
get through your Fridays
and to your Saturdays.

1327
01:05:30,375 --> 01:05:33,542
And I'm going to ask you all
to join me,

1328
01:05:33,625 --> 01:05:35,125
and for those
who are willing

1329
01:05:35,208 --> 01:05:36,708
and those who are heartfelt

1330
01:05:36,792 --> 01:05:39,375
in their covenant
and in their vows,

1331
01:05:39,458 --> 01:05:42,375
to covenant with God under vow
with me on some things.

1332
01:05:42,458 --> 01:05:44,625
This will include
those of you who are single

1333
01:05:44,708 --> 01:05:46,458
and those of you
who are married.

1334
01:05:46,542 --> 01:05:49,458
So, I'm going to ask you all
to stand at this point,

1335
01:05:49,542 --> 01:05:51,333
and this will be
our closing prayer,

1336
01:05:51,417 --> 01:05:52,708
our covenant vow together.

1337
01:05:52,792 --> 01:05:55,833
Let's start with--if you guys
would throw it up on the screen,

1338
01:05:55,917 --> 01:05:59,583
it would be helpful so
that they could follow me.

1339
01:06:00,667 --> 01:06:02,583
For those who are single,

1340
01:06:02,667 --> 01:06:07,667
I want you to say this
with me if you will covenant.

1341
01:06:07,792 --> 01:06:11,292
"I will only date and marry--"
say it after me.

1342
01:06:11,333 --> 01:06:14,625
"I will only date and marry--"
those of you who are single.

1343
01:06:14,667 --> 01:06:20,667
"I will only date and marry,"
say it, "someone who loves Jesus

1344
01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:29,792
and agrees with my core
biblical convictions."

1345
01:06:29,833 --> 01:06:31,583
For those of you
who are married,

1346
01:06:31,667 --> 01:06:34,167
take the hand
of your spouse.

1347
01:06:34,292 --> 01:06:37,958
This is a vow
in the presence of God together.

1348
01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:44,958
"We will make decisions
for our legacy and God's glory,

1349
01:06:52,625 --> 01:06:54,667
Father God, you are a witness,
and you are Father,

1350
01:06:54,750 --> 01:06:56,042
and I thank you right now

1351
01:06:56,125 --> 01:06:59,375
that because of a covenant
with you through Jesus Christ,

1352
01:06:59,458 --> 01:07:01,583
as we prepare
to partake of Communion,

1353
01:07:01,667 --> 01:07:04,333
we realize that, Lord Jesus,
you died in our place

1354
01:07:04,458 --> 01:07:07,333
for our sins so that we
could put our sin to death

1355
01:07:07,458 --> 01:07:10,000
and rise in newness of life
to leave a new legacy.

1356
01:07:10,125 --> 01:07:13,792
Thank you, Father, for sending
your Son as such a great gift.

1357
01:07:13,833 --> 01:07:16,083
Lord God, I pray
for those who are single,

1358
01:07:16,167 --> 01:07:17,792
I pray
for those who are married,

1359
01:07:17,833 --> 01:07:20,583
and I pray, Lord God,
for the legacy of their family,

1360
01:07:20,667 --> 01:07:23,167
and I pray for the legacy
of our church family.

1361
01:07:23,292 --> 01:07:26,167
And Father, I pray you
would fill us with hope today.

1362
01:07:26,292 --> 01:07:28,292
For those
that it feels like Friday,

1363
01:07:28,333 --> 01:07:31,500
I pray that the Holy Spirit
would remind them

1364
01:07:31,625 --> 01:07:34,458
of the Saturdays they have had
to continue forward

1365
01:07:34,500 --> 01:07:37,083
until the Saturdays
that they have before them.

1366
01:07:37,167 --> 01:07:38,958
In Jesus' good name. Amen.

1367
01:07:41,667 --> 01:07:44,542
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1368
01:07:44,625 --> 01:07:47,667
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1369
01:07:47,750 --> 01:07:50,292
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1370
01:07:50,375 --> 01:07:52,875
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1371
01:07:52,958 --> 01:07:56,458
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1372
01:07:56,542 --> 01:07:59,458
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1373
01:07:59,542 --> 01:08:02,458
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