1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,208 2 00:00:01,292 --> 00:00:09,292 [music] 3 00:00:13,333 --> 00:00:18,708 The most important day of your life and your marriage is, 4 00:00:18,792 --> 00:00:21,125 of course, the last day. 5 00:00:21,167 --> 00:00:23,917 And when it comes to marriage, so many couples are encouraged 6 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,583 to invest so much time, energy, and money 7 00:00:26,667 --> 00:00:28,500 to get the perfect wedding. 8 00:00:28,583 --> 00:00:30,125 From the florist, to the caterer, 9 00:00:30,167 --> 00:00:32,000 to the photographer, to the attendants, 10 00:00:32,042 --> 00:00:33,917 to the attire, 11 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,667 it is all about having a great first day, and it's important, 12 00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:40,417 and it's a great gift to have a great first day; 13 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:43,917 but the last day is the most important day. 14 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:47,208 There's lots of magazines on how to have a great first day, 15 00:00:47,292 --> 00:00:49,917 not on how to have a great last day. 16 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,833 So many people have detailed plans for the first day, 17 00:00:52,875 --> 00:00:57,500 but they really don't know what the plan is for the last day. 18 00:00:57,583 --> 00:01:00,333 What will the last day of your life look like? 19 00:01:00,375 --> 00:01:04,208 What will the last day of your marriage look like? 20 00:01:04,292 --> 00:01:08,417 And Grace and I had an occurrence in our life 21 00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:12,000 where we were really thinking about our future. 22 00:01:12,083 --> 00:01:14,833 The truth is that we did love each other, 23 00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:18,000 and we did love Jesus, and life wasn't bad, 24 00:01:18,083 --> 00:01:21,000 but it was getting complex: children, and work, 25 00:01:21,042 --> 00:01:24,667 and requirements that were really taking a lot of the time 26 00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:28,125 and energy that we really needed to be investing in one another. 27 00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:31,125 And it sort of culminated on vacation. 28 00:01:31,167 --> 00:01:35,375 We were out of town, and I started thinking and praying 29 00:01:35,458 --> 00:01:39,625 about how Grace and I could make plans for the last day, 30 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:42,833 how we could finish well, by the grace of God, 31 00:01:42,875 --> 00:01:44,625 hoping that God would give us 32 00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:46,833 many, many, many more years together. 33 00:01:46,875 --> 00:01:49,000 But the truth is you just don't know. 34 00:01:49,083 --> 00:01:50,792 Today may be all you have, 35 00:01:50,833 --> 00:01:53,708 and you may not even have all of today. 36 00:01:53,792 --> 00:01:57,917 And so that caused me to sit down and start thinking through 37 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:01,167 how Grace and I could architect our life. 38 00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:04,708 And I took a legal pad and just started writing out questions 39 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,500 for Grace. 40 00:02:06,583 --> 00:02:10,167 And I knew that we had a long drive home from this vacation, 41 00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:13,125 maybe 6 hours in the car, and so I asked Grace, 42 00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:17,625 "Just take this time, and please answer these questions, 43 00:02:17,667 --> 00:02:20,000 "and we can dialog them as we're driving, 44 00:02:20,083 --> 00:02:22,625 "and we can get a vision for the last day. 45 00:02:22,667 --> 00:02:25,917 "What do we want the last day of life together on this earth 46 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,625 to look like?" 47 00:02:27,667 --> 00:02:31,125 And that allowed us to prayerfully begin planning 48 00:02:31,167 --> 00:02:35,917 and not just allowing life to go by us or be taken from us, 49 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,667 but to be intentionally invested by us. 50 00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:42,125 We're going to talk about some of those things. 51 00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:45,167 We include those in chapter 11 of Real Marriage. 52 00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:50,208 That whole project that I gave Grace is in there for you to do 53 00:02:50,292 --> 00:02:53,125 as a couple, as well. 54 00:02:53,167 --> 00:02:55,708 And we're going to introduce you, during this sermon, 55 00:02:55,792 --> 00:02:59,958 to some people who love each other and love Jesus, 56 00:03:00,083 --> 00:03:03,000 and we want to have their life help to illustrate 57 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:06,125 a few biblical principles. 58 00:03:06,167 --> 00:03:09,625 Number one: You're going to need Jesus. 59 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,833 You're going to need Jesus to forgive your sin. 60 00:03:11,875 --> 00:03:14,000 You're going to need Jesus to forgive their sin. 61 00:03:14,083 --> 00:03:17,083 You're going to need Jesus to give you both the Holy Spirit 62 00:03:17,167 --> 00:03:19,708 to help you change from the inside out. 63 00:03:19,792 --> 00:03:22,333 You're going to need Jesus to give you an example 64 00:03:22,375 --> 00:03:24,000 of how to love. 65 00:03:24,083 --> 00:03:26,917 You're going to need Jesus to teach you how to forgive 66 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,333 by forgiving you, Jesus teaching you how to love by loving you, 67 00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:33,708 Jesus teaching you how to persevere with one another, 68 00:03:33,792 --> 00:03:36,083 as he perseveres with you. 69 00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:39,625 The truth is the most important relationship is always 70 00:03:39,667 --> 00:03:42,000 the relationship with Jesus. 71 00:03:42,083 --> 00:03:44,625 And if both the husband and the wife are growing 72 00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:46,208 in their relationship with Jesus, 73 00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:48,292 that will grow their affection for 74 00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:51,083 and their devotion to one another. 75 00:03:51,167 --> 00:03:53,292 So, the first question is do you know Jesus? 76 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:54,667 Do you love Jesus? 77 00:03:54,750 --> 00:03:57,083 And are you, and if you're married, your spouse, 78 00:03:57,167 --> 00:03:59,833 actively pursuing Jesus, repenting of sin, 79 00:03:59,875 --> 00:04:02,833 reading Scripture, praying, being in community. 80 00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:05,333 What you're going to hear from some of the couples 81 00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:07,500 we've interviewed, who have, by the grace of God, 82 00:04:07,583 --> 00:04:09,167 endured some very hard seasons, 83 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,917 but had a very sweet and joyful life, 84 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,667 even in the midst of trial, and trouble, and trauma, 85 00:04:14,750 --> 00:04:17,625 is that Jesus was at the center of their life, 86 00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:21,417 and Jesus was at the center of their marriage, 87 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:26,083 and this allowed them to turn to him, to trust in him, 88 00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:30,375 and to become like him to others in seasons where oftentimes 89 00:04:30,458 --> 00:04:32,833 people frankly just don't make it. 90 00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:34,500 They don't make it individually, 91 00:04:34,583 --> 00:04:36,667 and they don't make it maritally. 92 00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:39,000 And so number one, you're going to need Jesus, 93 00:04:39,083 --> 00:04:42,500 and their stories will help to illustrate what that looks like 94 00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:45,792 really practically. 95 00:04:45,833 --> 00:04:48,417 All right, Grace and I are here with the final 96 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,833 Real Marriage sermon on the last day. 97 00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:53,375 Really excited to introduce everyone 98 00:04:53,458 --> 00:04:55,208 to some friends of ours. 99 00:04:55,292 --> 00:04:58,833 So, Pastor Bill, I'm going to let you introduce yourself 100 00:04:58,875 --> 00:05:01,208 and your family, and we'll to around the table. 101 00:05:01,292 --> 00:05:03,375 Okay. So, my name is Bill. 102 00:05:03,458 --> 00:05:05,292 I'm a pastor at Mars Hill Church, 103 00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:07,000 and this is my wife, Sue. 104 00:05:07,083 --> 00:05:10,417 And we've been married for almost 4 years. 105 00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:15,917 Our story is that I was married for 30 years and had a wife who 106 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:21,500 passed away of cancer, and Sue was a single mom for 21 years, 107 00:05:21,583 --> 00:05:25,417 and so we figured that was enough time for her, 108 00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:29,667 and I didn't like the alone thing, so we got married, yeah. 109 00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:32,000 Thank you. He was not good alone. 110 00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:34,375 [laughing] 111 00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:36,167 That's what I've heard. I love Bill. 112 00:05:36,208 --> 00:05:37,500 He's a friend of mine. 113 00:05:37,542 --> 00:05:40,000 But we could only sit at so many Mariner games 114 00:05:40,042 --> 00:05:42,125 and him just not be happy. 115 00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:45,083 So, we're very glad that you came along. 116 00:05:45,167 --> 00:05:47,917 What was it like being 21 years single mom, 117 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,167 and then here's Bill? 118 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,708 It was, it was quite an adjustment, 119 00:05:53,792 --> 00:05:58,417 because when you're single, there's not anyone else in your 120 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:04,333 life to be kind of doing this dance with, 121 00:06:04,375 --> 00:06:06,333 that marriage is. 122 00:06:06,375 --> 00:06:11,208 And so I think we had a real adjustment time. 123 00:06:11,292 --> 00:06:17,333 But I guess I didn't realize--I mean, he makes my life so full. 124 00:06:17,375 --> 00:06:21,000 And what did I do when I was single? 125 00:06:21,083 --> 00:06:25,417 I didn't really remember being really lonely, 126 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:29,792 but now I can't imagine life without him. 127 00:06:29,833 --> 00:06:33,125 That's good. 128 00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:36,417 Yay Bill! 129 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:39,500 Don and Marcia, you are, as far as I know, 130 00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:42,917 the longest married Mars Hill couple. 131 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,500 Yes, married 55 years, 132 00:06:46,583 --> 00:06:52,000 and enjoyed most of the time. 133 00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:53,917 And how many children and grandchildren today? 134 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,208 We have four boys in California and a daughter 135 00:06:57,292 --> 00:07:03,208 lives up here in Edgewood, and we've got 12 grandchildren. 136 00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:06,917 We haven't got any great- great-grandchildren yet. 137 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,875 I don't know if that'll happen or not. 138 00:07:09,958 --> 00:07:12,708 I was drawn to the man of strength that he was, 139 00:07:12,792 --> 00:07:14,500 but he was so gentle. 140 00:07:14,583 --> 00:07:18,417 And the very day I decided never to see him again, 141 00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:20,333 he decided--no, the other way around. 142 00:07:20,375 --> 00:07:23,417 The day he made the decision never to see me again--because 143 00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:26,125 he knew I was stringing him along--I was washing clothes, 144 00:07:26,167 --> 00:07:29,500 and there was a light bulb up there, and it was like God said, 145 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,708 "You're called to marry that man." 146 00:07:31,792 --> 00:07:35,000 And he made up his mind not to see me again, 147 00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:37,583 and four days later I called him, and I said, 148 00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:39,292 "You call every night. What happened?" 149 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,167 He said, "I got a date." 150 00:07:41,250 --> 00:07:44,208 And he's been worth it. 151 00:07:44,292 --> 00:07:46,500 He's really a godly man. 152 00:07:46,583 --> 00:07:48,333 Yeah, I'm extra quiet, 153 00:07:48,375 --> 00:07:51,833 and she keeps the conversation going, 154 00:07:51,875 --> 00:07:56,500 which I cherish, really, when you get in company, 155 00:07:56,583 --> 00:08:02,000 you have somebody that carries the conversation through. 156 00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:04,417 It's been a privilege to be married to him. 157 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:08,417 He's put up with a great deal, and he's really brought my soul 158 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:10,708 to know the Lord in a very deep way. 159 00:08:10,792 --> 00:08:12,875 I'm extremely grateful to him. 160 00:08:12,958 --> 00:08:14,833 I'm grateful to her, too. 161 00:08:14,875 --> 00:08:18,500 She keeps me in line, yeah. 162 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:25,333 You guys are very cute. 163 00:08:25,375 --> 00:08:27,917 Hi, I'm Tim, and this is my wife, Patty. 164 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,708 We've been married almost 39 years now. 165 00:08:30,792 --> 00:08:34,333 We were high school sweethearts, and we still feel that way. 166 00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:36,875 We've been blessed with a daughter and a son, 167 00:08:36,958 --> 00:08:38,667 and our daughter is married. 168 00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:41,917 We have two grandsons, 9 and 6, and we currently serve at 169 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,208 West Seattle, soon to be Downtown. 170 00:08:44,292 --> 00:08:46,500 We have so many things that we do together. 171 00:08:46,583 --> 00:08:48,792 We have a tandem bicycle. 172 00:08:48,833 --> 00:08:50,500 We have a tandem kayak. 173 00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:52,417 We go rollerblading. 174 00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:55,000 And so I just like to be with her. 175 00:08:55,042 --> 00:08:57,625 Even at the end of the day, when I come home, 176 00:08:57,667 --> 00:09:00,417 I'm so excited just to be able to be with her. 177 00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:01,833 She makes life fun. 178 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:06,000 She introduced me to Jesus, and so her authentic faith, 179 00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:09,125 and her walk, and testimony really caused me to take 180 00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:11,167 Christianity seriously. 181 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:12,875 Oh my goodness. 182 00:09:12,958 --> 00:09:17,000 The minute he became a believer, he just took off, 183 00:09:17,083 --> 00:09:20,292 and he challenged me in so many ways that I went, 184 00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:22,375 "Oh, wait, give me a few minutes. 185 00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:24,000 I'll look that up, you know." 186 00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:26,833 And so he just was so, just hungry for the Lord, 187 00:09:26,875 --> 00:09:28,875 he made me more hungry for the Lord. 188 00:09:28,958 --> 00:09:32,208 And I think that, if anything, and the key of our marriage in 189 00:09:32,292 --> 00:09:36,708 39 years, is that we love Jesus, and we put him in our marriage, 190 00:09:36,792 --> 00:09:38,792 at the top of our marriage, 191 00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:41,792 and everything else was just by his grace. 192 00:09:41,833 --> 00:09:44,083 And our dear friend, Miss Maggie. 193 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,417 My name is Maggie Bolliger. 194 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:49,750 I was married for 4 years and widowed 12 years ago now. 195 00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:53,167 I have a 15-year-old son. 196 00:09:53,208 --> 00:09:56,375 I was born in Seattle and raised as a pagan here 197 00:09:56,458 --> 00:09:57,958 in the Seattle culture. 198 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,083 Really? There's pagans in Seattle? 199 00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:03,875 There are, and I was one of them. 200 00:10:03,958 --> 00:10:09,833 And I went to school here and ended up going to college 201 00:10:09,917 --> 00:10:11,875 in Iowa. 202 00:10:11,958 --> 00:10:14,292 I knew I would travel, so I ended up studying 203 00:10:14,333 --> 00:10:15,667 comparative religion, 204 00:10:15,750 --> 00:10:18,458 so that I would know the religions that I met with, 205 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:19,833 as I traveled the world. 206 00:10:19,917 --> 00:10:21,583 And I did indeed travel the world. 207 00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:23,875 I've been to 25 different countries for one reason 208 00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:28,292 or another, never for business, always just footing around. 209 00:10:28,333 --> 00:10:32,667 I spent one 2-year time circling the globe, 210 00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:36,167 and that was not a plan, but, you know, took it as it went, 211 00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:37,833 enjoyed it. 212 00:10:37,917 --> 00:10:40,500 And so then I was working here in Seattle, 213 00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:42,875 and my mom called me over to her house, 214 00:10:42,958 --> 00:10:45,750 because there was a young man there doing some electrical work 215 00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:48,750 on our house, and he had been asking about--he saw my picture 216 00:10:48,833 --> 00:10:50,750 on the mantle and was asking about me. 217 00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:53,875 So, next time he came over, she made sure I came over, too, 218 00:10:53,958 --> 00:10:55,292 and met my husband. 219 00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:57,833 And we dated off and on, actually, for 6 months. 220 00:10:57,917 --> 00:10:59,500 Off and on? 221 00:10:59,542 --> 00:11:01,458 Not even just a straight 6 months? 222 00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:04,625 No, no, no. 223 00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:06,958 Actually, some other relationships in the middle 224 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,292 of that six, intense 6 months. 225 00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:12,667 My life has been very condensed, which leaves no room for 226 00:11:12,750 --> 00:11:16,250 thinking, which actually works out great for my personality. 227 00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:19,875 If I can just keep on going and keep on running, that's great, 228 00:11:19,958 --> 00:11:21,583 not too much time to think. 229 00:11:21,667 --> 00:11:25,000 And then I got pregnant, and so we thought the next best thing 230 00:11:25,042 --> 00:11:27,292 would be then to get married. 231 00:11:27,333 --> 00:11:29,542 And so we did. 232 00:11:29,625 --> 00:11:31,292 We got pregnant, got married. 233 00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:32,792 I quit my job. 234 00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:35,792 He decided to keep me home, at least for the first year, 235 00:11:35,833 --> 00:11:37,167 which was great. 236 00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:42,042 We bought a house, and within the--let's see, 237 00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:44,583 that was in the first year. 238 00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:48,375 And then 3 years into the marriage, 239 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:52,542 my sister and her husband moved from their little house 240 00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:55,167 in Bellingham in the woods, in with us, 241 00:11:55,208 --> 00:11:57,667 because they wanted to move back to the city. 242 00:11:57,708 --> 00:12:00,042 So, we were like, "Oh, come live with me. 243 00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:01,542 "I'm home. My sister's home. 244 00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:02,958 It'll be one big party." 245 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,667 So, we were enjoying that, decided to buy a bigger house. 246 00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:07,083 Found a bigger house, 247 00:12:07,167 --> 00:12:11,500 and through that process in April of '99, 248 00:12:11,542 --> 00:12:14,875 I became a Christian, and 3 weeks later, 249 00:12:14,958 --> 00:12:20,333 he came home with a diagnosis of a mass in his chest. 250 00:12:20,417 --> 00:12:21,875 We didn't know. 251 00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:23,667 Was he a Christian at that time? 252 00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:25,083 He was a Christian. 253 00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:26,750 He was raised Lutheran. 254 00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:29,875 How long were you married together as Christians? 255 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,292 One year. 256 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:32,792 One year? 257 00:12:32,833 --> 00:12:35,167 So, just the final year of your life together, 258 00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:36,667 you were Christians. 259 00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:39,333 Not much matters at the end of your life. 260 00:12:39,417 --> 00:12:43,875 And, you know, it becomes very, very elementary 261 00:12:43,958 --> 00:12:46,292 of what's important. 262 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:49,792 Not only do you need Jesus for your life and your marriage, 263 00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:52,833 if you are married, or in the grace of God become married, 264 00:12:52,917 --> 00:12:54,792 you need Jesus' people. 265 00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:57,875 You need to have community and wise counsel. 266 00:12:57,958 --> 00:13:01,250 Proverbs 15:22 says it this way: 267 00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,458 "Without counsel plans fail, 268 00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,917 but with many advisers they succeed." 269 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:10,167 So, you absolutely need Jesus, and then you need Jesus' people 270 00:13:10,250 --> 00:13:12,292 to help you learn the Scriptures, 271 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,667 and repent of sin, 272 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:17,500 and see your own blind spots, and to, in every way, 273 00:13:17,542 --> 00:13:22,000 encourage you toward godliness, and love, and Christ-likeness. 274 00:13:22,042 --> 00:13:24,500 And what you're going to hear very practically, 275 00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:27,500 from some of the stories of our friends, 276 00:13:27,542 --> 00:13:31,500 are how they did avail themselves to teaching. 277 00:13:31,542 --> 00:13:33,250 They were willing to learn. 278 00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:35,250 They were willing to change their mind. 279 00:13:35,333 --> 00:13:39,167 They were willing to redirect their life course from biblical 280 00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:42,583 study, to sermons, to godly counsel, to good friends, 281 00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:48,958 to wise authors, including listening to their spouse. 282 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,792 And sometimes God will give us wisdom in our spouse, 283 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,583 but we lack the humility to receive God's wisdom 284 00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:57,292 through them. 285 00:13:57,333 --> 00:14:00,167 As you're going to hear from these people's stories, 286 00:14:00,208 --> 00:14:03,542 there is no possibility of maturing and growing 287 00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:07,583 individually and maritally, apart from wise counsel. 288 00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:12,167 And so things like picking your church, picking your friends, 289 00:14:12,208 --> 00:14:15,500 picking your counselors, and picking your Community Group 290 00:14:15,542 --> 00:14:18,083 is exceedingly important. 291 00:14:18,167 --> 00:14:20,958 And one of the reasons Grace and I ended the book 292 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,583 "Real Marriage" with chapter 11 on the last day 293 00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:27,083 was to help you start thinking about the very practical matters 294 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:30,375 like who will give us counsel? 295 00:14:30,458 --> 00:14:33,375 Which community will we be in? 296 00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:36,167 And who will we invite to speak into our life? 297 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:39,458 And the examples you hear from some of our friends are really 298 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:43,583 good practical indicators of what that might look like. 299 00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:47,292 When Andy died, we loved each other. 300 00:14:47,333 --> 00:14:53,167 We knew we'd see each other in heaven. 301 00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:56,833 He supplied enough money for me, 302 00:14:56,917 --> 00:15:02,667 and he also put me in the environment 303 00:15:02,708 --> 00:15:06,958 and around people that would support us. 304 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,292 So, he said to Brandal, "Take care of her. 305 00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:11,292 Take care of him. Raise my son." 306 00:15:11,333 --> 00:15:12,667 Yeah, your brother-in-law. 307 00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:14,083 Yeah, my brother-in-law. 308 00:15:14,167 --> 00:15:15,833 Who is a very wonderful man. 309 00:15:15,917 --> 00:15:17,458 Yeah. And he does. 310 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,667 He's taken that to heart. 311 00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:23,792 And then other men have stepped in and been different 312 00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:29,083 things to him, and it's been a matter for me to let go. 313 00:15:29,167 --> 00:15:32,375 I mean, I would raise a fine girl, but not a boy. 314 00:15:32,458 --> 00:15:35,958 And so a matter of letting these men lead him 315 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,292 and making sure they're godly men. 316 00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:41,583 And I have about six couples that speak into my life, 317 00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:43,792 that I now know to listen to. 318 00:15:43,833 --> 00:15:49,875 Pastor Bill, if you would be willing, tell us about, 319 00:15:49,958 --> 00:15:53,000 kind of--you've got, in some ways, 320 00:15:53,042 --> 00:15:56,292 two lives--not the other one where you're a ninja 321 00:15:56,333 --> 00:16:00,542 or something, a secret assassin-- 322 00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:03,458 But you had a marriage, and children, and a life, 323 00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:06,333 and then your wife passed, and then God's given you 324 00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:10,042 a lovely new wife and a new chapter of your life, 325 00:16:10,125 --> 00:16:15,958 and so you've had two major chapters to your life. 326 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,958 Yeah, I mean, we, in a lot of ways had the family 327 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,083 that you kind of put on a poster and say, 328 00:16:23,167 --> 00:16:24,875 "That's what the target is," you know? 329 00:16:24,958 --> 00:16:26,375 And-- 330 00:16:26,458 --> 00:16:27,958 Two boys, two girls. 331 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,250 Yeah, girls on each end, boys in the middle. 332 00:16:30,333 --> 00:16:34,750 Jeanne was a great Christian woman, 333 00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:37,667 who was a great ministry partner, 334 00:16:37,708 --> 00:16:40,750 and mentored a lot of high school girls. 335 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,583 We were youth pastors for 16 years, 336 00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:48,375 and so a lot of mornings before school, she'd run around in, 337 00:16:48,458 --> 00:16:50,583 actually, your guys' neighborhood, picking up girls, 338 00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:53,042 and then dropping them off at Highline High School. 339 00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:55,167 And all of a sudden, 340 00:16:55,208 --> 00:16:57,083 in the midst of doing what God wants, 341 00:16:57,167 --> 00:16:59,000 we get what no one wants. 342 00:16:59,042 --> 00:17:04,042 And Jeanne had a lot of stomach pain, 343 00:17:04,125 --> 00:17:07,083 went to the doctor, was diagnosed with 344 00:17:07,167 --> 00:17:09,333 stage three ovarian cancer. 345 00:17:09,417 --> 00:17:12,000 And how old was she at that time? 346 00:17:12,042 --> 00:17:15,458 I'm guessing she was, like, 46. 347 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,583 And she was healthy, good shape. 348 00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:19,000 Yeah, yeah. 349 00:17:19,042 --> 00:17:20,833 You know, very much alive and vibrant. 350 00:17:20,917 --> 00:17:24,333 Yeah, we went through that up and down period of remission 351 00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:26,667 for 18 months, and then it back, 352 00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:31,000 and trying all the different kinds of chemo 353 00:17:31,042 --> 00:17:33,167 that were available to us. 354 00:17:33,208 --> 00:17:38,833 And, I mean, it was almost like the first year we had relocated 355 00:17:38,917 --> 00:17:41,167 back to Seattle and plant a church is when 356 00:17:41,208 --> 00:17:43,500 she gets diagnosed, you know? 357 00:17:43,542 --> 00:17:46,958 So, I mean, we had some equity from a house sale. 358 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,000 And, I mean, I was ready to take--looking back on it, 359 00:17:50,042 --> 00:17:52,667 I was ready to take the coward's way out and say, 360 00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:55,167 "Okay, I've got enough money to live for a year. 361 00:17:55,250 --> 00:17:56,583 Let's just go for it." 362 00:17:56,667 --> 00:17:58,792 And she said, "If we have a year left, 363 00:17:58,833 --> 00:18:00,333 why wouldn't we plant a church?" 364 00:18:00,417 --> 00:18:03,667 Okay. 365 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:05,667 And that's now Mars Hill West Seattle. 366 00:18:05,708 --> 00:18:07,083 Yeah, yeah. 367 00:18:07,167 --> 00:18:09,083 I mean, that's how you joined the team. 368 00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:11,583 That's how we got the blessing of picking you up. 369 00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:13,000 Yeah. 370 00:18:13,042 --> 00:18:15,000 And so how long did she have cancer? 371 00:18:15,042 --> 00:18:17,667 And I know in there, there was, "Oh, it looks better. 372 00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:19,083 It looks worse." 373 00:18:19,167 --> 00:18:21,667 There's that whole rollercoaster of hope, and then devastating news, 374 00:18:21,708 --> 00:18:23,042 and hope, and devastating news. 375 00:18:23,125 --> 00:18:25,042 Yeah, she fought it about 8 years, yeah. 376 00:18:25,125 --> 00:18:26,458 Eight years. 377 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:27,833 What was it like? 378 00:18:27,917 --> 00:18:30,333 I was there with you at your wife's funeral. 379 00:18:30,417 --> 00:18:32,375 Yeah. 380 00:18:32,458 --> 00:18:34,875 I mean, what's that day like? 381 00:18:34,958 --> 00:18:39,292 I mean, every married couple--either the husband 382 00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:43,958 or the wife--is going to have that day, where, you know, 383 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,375 the life that God has given you on earth has come to the end, 384 00:18:47,458 --> 00:18:51,250 and there's that finality about it. 385 00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:56,042 What was that day like for you to bury your wife? 386 00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:04,750 I think it was really off-balance, 387 00:19:04,833 --> 00:19:11,583 because I had got too much identity from being a husband. 388 00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:14,750 You know, I wasn't solidly locked into, 389 00:19:14,833 --> 00:19:17,000 "I am bulletproof in Jesus." 390 00:19:17,042 --> 00:19:18,667 You know what I mean? 391 00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:20,333 Jesus basically talks about, 392 00:19:20,417 --> 00:19:22,667 at the end of his Sermon on the Mount, 393 00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:25,000 that a wise man and a foolish man 394 00:19:25,042 --> 00:19:26,958 are going to build their house, 395 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,792 and the rains are going to come, 396 00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:30,583 and the floods are going to come, 397 00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:33,333 and the wind's going to come, and the foolish man's house 398 00:19:33,417 --> 00:19:35,667 will collapse, and the wise man's house will stand, 399 00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:37,083 because it's built on Jesus. 400 00:19:37,167 --> 00:19:40,375 And as Americans, I think we hear, "If you build your house on 401 00:19:40,458 --> 00:19:43,375 Jesus, the rains don't come, and the floods don't come," you know, 402 00:19:43,458 --> 00:19:45,833 rather than the idea that your house stands through those. 403 00:19:45,917 --> 00:19:48,083 He doesn't say, "I'll make your life crisis free." 404 00:19:48,167 --> 00:19:50,750 He says, "I'll make your life crisis proof." 405 00:19:50,833 --> 00:19:53,375 And I really wasn't there. 406 00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:57,292 I was getting as much identity from being a husband as I was 407 00:19:57,333 --> 00:19:59,375 from being a Christ follower. 408 00:19:59,458 --> 00:20:03,292 And so when she died, I didn't know who I was, 409 00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:09,375 and I had probably a month of just real disequilibrium. 410 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:13,000 You know, I mean, I'm grateful for the friends who would say, 411 00:20:13,042 --> 00:20:14,792 "Do you want me to come over?" 412 00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:16,292 I'd go, "No," and they'd go, 413 00:20:16,333 --> 00:20:18,667 "Okay, I'll be there in an hour," you know? 414 00:20:18,708 --> 00:20:21,000 And just imposed themselves into my life, 415 00:20:21,042 --> 00:20:24,375 and brought rails that I would've run off of, you know? 416 00:20:24,458 --> 00:20:28,583 So, community rescued me, yeah. 417 00:20:28,667 --> 00:20:32,167 Essential to your life and your marriage is prayer, 418 00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:37,250 and prayer is talking to God the Father, through God the Son, 419 00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:39,792 by the power of God the Holy Spirit, 420 00:20:39,833 --> 00:20:43,833 and it is also listening to God, and prayer is the rhythm 421 00:20:43,917 --> 00:20:47,292 of conversation with God, who is our Savior, and Father, 422 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,042 and friend. 423 00:20:49,125 --> 00:20:52,792 And one of the things that will help change your heart and help 424 00:20:52,833 --> 00:20:56,792 you to build your relationship, particularly with a spouse, 425 00:20:56,833 --> 00:20:58,292 is prayer. 426 00:20:58,333 --> 00:21:01,000 It's one of the most intimate things you can do, 427 00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:04,625 and it invites Jesus into the middle of the friendship 428 00:21:04,667 --> 00:21:06,708 and the relationship. 429 00:21:06,792 --> 00:21:10,667 And Proverbs talks about this very clearly. 430 00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:14,375 Proverbs 16:3, speaking about wisdom, says, 431 00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:16,875 "Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans 432 00:21:16,958 --> 00:21:18,667 will be established." 433 00:21:18,708 --> 00:21:21,333 He's talking here about praying and planning, 434 00:21:21,417 --> 00:21:24,167 praying before you make your plans, 435 00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:26,792 and then praying through your plans, 436 00:21:26,833 --> 00:21:30,000 and then praying that God would help you to execute on your 437 00:21:30,042 --> 00:21:35,667 plans, and that God would bless your plans, as you walk in them. 438 00:21:35,708 --> 00:21:39,333 And so I would ask you, are you one of those people who 439 00:21:39,417 --> 00:21:43,375 you prayerfully direct the course of your life 440 00:21:43,458 --> 00:21:45,375 and put your plan together? 441 00:21:45,458 --> 00:21:47,375 "Here's what I want for the last day. 442 00:21:47,458 --> 00:21:51,250 "Here's who I want to be, what I want to know, what I want to do, 443 00:21:51,333 --> 00:21:55,000 how I want to change, who I want to help, where I want to serve." 444 00:21:55,042 --> 00:21:57,500 Do you pray that God would just bless your plan, 445 00:21:57,542 --> 00:22:01,250 or do you pray to the Lord that he would help to give you your 446 00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:03,750 plan, and then he would bring to fruition those plans 447 00:22:03,833 --> 00:22:06,125 and principles that he gives for you? 448 00:22:06,167 --> 00:22:10,250 And it's important that you be praying for your spouse--this is 449 00:22:10,333 --> 00:22:13,375 even for those of you who are single--to be praying with your 450 00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:17,292 spouse, when you are married, and always inviting Jesus in. 451 00:22:17,333 --> 00:22:20,083 And what you're going to hear from some of the couples 452 00:22:20,167 --> 00:22:22,792 is some really beautiful examples of what prayer 453 00:22:22,833 --> 00:22:25,167 looks like in a marriage, 454 00:22:25,250 --> 00:22:28,542 including a couple that's been married 55 years 455 00:22:28,625 --> 00:22:31,500 and repeatedly, throughout the course of the day, 456 00:22:31,542 --> 00:22:34,167 will just stop and pray together. 457 00:22:34,250 --> 00:22:36,167 And they have seen the power of prayer 458 00:22:36,250 --> 00:22:39,875 over the course of 55 years, as God has answered their prayers, 459 00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:44,167 and it's why they continue to invite him into everything. 460 00:22:44,250 --> 00:22:47,292 We've always--when we were first married-- 461 00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:49,000 you talked about a plan. 462 00:22:49,042 --> 00:22:51,542 I could see he was very quiet, so much prayer, 463 00:22:51,625 --> 00:22:54,083 I decided he would do all the praying at night, 464 00:22:54,167 --> 00:22:57,375 when we cuddled in bed for probably the first 15 years or 465 00:22:57,458 --> 00:23:00,958 20 years, and then we started both of us praying in bed, 466 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,542 and now that we're retired, we tell the children 467 00:23:03,625 --> 00:23:06,167 that's probably our main ministry is prayer for them. 468 00:23:06,208 --> 00:23:08,042 "So, call us; we'll pray." 469 00:23:08,125 --> 00:23:11,583 And we often, four or five times a day-- 470 00:23:11,667 --> 00:23:13,583 Yeah, pray for different people. 471 00:23:13,667 --> 00:23:16,042 We set chairs side-by-side, and we pray together. 472 00:23:16,125 --> 00:23:17,667 Prayer is where the battle is. 473 00:23:17,750 --> 00:23:19,083 Yeah. 474 00:23:19,167 --> 00:23:20,917 Prayer is where the battle is. 475 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,917 We have fought constantly through the years 476 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:28,833 and we scrap fair, sometimes, sometimes. 477 00:23:28,875 --> 00:23:30,833 How did you work through when you fought? 478 00:23:30,875 --> 00:23:34,333 What were some of the ways that you learned to communicate better? 479 00:23:34,375 --> 00:23:38,167 This has been a precious time because we look more to the future than the back 480 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:40,833 and so we asked our sons a little-- few questions. 481 00:23:40,875 --> 00:23:44,917 Our fourth son, Paul, really-- he's quiet like Don, very godly man, 482 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,417 and he drives home 2 hours. 483 00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:50,417 Every Tuesday we hear from him, and he said, "You would fight," 484 00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:54,000 and he said, "I knew it would end every time in 3 to 4 hours, 485 00:23:54,083 --> 00:23:55,375 and you would repent." 486 00:23:55,458 --> 00:23:58,792 And he said it was a good demonstration of what it ought to be. 487 00:23:58,833 --> 00:24:02,708 And I always won verbally, and I always won intellectually, 488 00:24:02,792 --> 00:24:06,125 and he very quietly at the end, one time he stood there very proudly 489 00:24:06,167 --> 00:24:12,000 and he said, "You know, it's the same old crap. You're not listening." 490 00:24:12,042 --> 00:24:17,417 I figured I should give up and he was winning. 491 00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:20,125 See, you have to realize that when you marry a man, 492 00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:22,625 he has shortcomings and I have shortcomings. 493 00:24:22,667 --> 00:24:26,375 You're both horrible sinners, and that's the good part of marriage is, 494 00:24:26,458 --> 00:24:30,208 after 55 years, there's no doubt you're horrible sinners, 495 00:24:30,292 --> 00:24:34,125 and the heart is desperately wicked. But he taught me not to fight. 496 00:24:34,167 --> 00:24:37,167 I'm much better at it, being quiet, and to yield. 497 00:24:37,250 --> 00:24:40,500 You know, your body, a woman yields quickly when they're married, 498 00:24:40,583 --> 00:24:43,000 but a woman takes 55 years, or 50 years 499 00:24:43,083 --> 00:24:45,333 to learn to yield your spirit to a man. 500 00:24:45,375 --> 00:24:47,833 And I think it goes way back to the Garden: 501 00:24:47,875 --> 00:24:49,292 We simply don't trust Adam. 502 00:24:49,333 --> 00:24:53,417 And I asked one of my dearest friends who I've met just recently, 503 00:24:53,500 --> 00:24:55,625 and has been attending Mars Hill off and on. 504 00:24:55,667 --> 00:24:57,917 She's had four marriages, and I said to her, 505 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:01,208 "What would you like to have heard when you made your four choices? 506 00:25:01,292 --> 00:25:05,333 She said, "I would've liked more to have trusted Jesus." 507 00:25:05,375 --> 00:25:08,000 She said, "I did not trust Jesus." 508 00:25:08,083 --> 00:25:10,500 And I said to her, "How do we teach that? 509 00:25:10,583 --> 00:25:11,833 How do we communicate that?" 510 00:25:11,917 --> 00:25:14,333 And our focus has been to be in the Scriptures, 511 00:25:14,375 --> 00:25:18,208 read the Bible through every year, and discuss it. 512 00:25:18,292 --> 00:25:21,792 What's one of your favorite memories together? 513 00:25:21,833 --> 00:25:23,625 Our favorite memory together... 514 00:25:23,667 --> 00:25:30,667 making love in the dark, out in the open. 515 00:25:31,500 --> 00:25:34,083 We had an agreement with our boys, 'cause they were older, 516 00:25:34,167 --> 00:25:36,625 that they were never to come home on Friday afternoon. 517 00:25:36,667 --> 00:25:39,500 We didn't have a lot of money-- 518 00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:46,167 I totally know where this is going. 519 00:25:46,667 --> 00:25:51,000 And we went to Hawaii on our 25th anniversary. 520 00:25:51,083 --> 00:25:53,792 I thought that was a real highlight. I liked that. 521 00:25:53,833 --> 00:25:58,208 I had to fly over there, which is terrible, then I got on a helicopter, 522 00:25:58,292 --> 00:26:03,125 and that was worse yet, but we really enjoyed that. 523 00:26:03,167 --> 00:26:05,792 I know, we watched the turtles go out in the sea. 524 00:26:05,833 --> 00:26:07,792 It was--and marriage is a picture 525 00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:10,792 of how Christ feels about his people and his bride. 526 00:26:10,833 --> 00:26:13,625 His invisible believers on the Earth. 527 00:26:13,667 --> 00:26:17,292 He really loves us and pursues us and fights fair with us. 528 00:26:17,333 --> 00:26:19,167 - Yeah. - He does. 529 00:26:20,250 --> 00:26:22,000 As you're thinking about the last day, 530 00:26:22,042 --> 00:26:24,583 the last day of your life-- and if you're married 531 00:26:24,667 --> 00:26:28,208 or become married, that last day with your spouse, 532 00:26:28,292 --> 00:26:32,125 you need to have some hopes, and goals, and dreams, and vision, 533 00:26:32,167 --> 00:26:35,167 some prophetic imagination of what the future could be like 534 00:26:35,250 --> 00:26:37,917 in the grace of God and what your legacy could be 535 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,333 in the grace of God. 536 00:26:39,375 --> 00:26:42,000 For example, one of the things I've asked the Lord repeatedly 537 00:26:42,042 --> 00:26:45,292 is that if Grace and I were not to die together, 538 00:26:45,333 --> 00:26:50,292 that she would die before me, and that I would outlive her. 539 00:26:50,333 --> 00:26:53,208 I want to make sure that she's provided for, and protected, 540 00:26:53,292 --> 00:26:56,708 and looked after, and cared for every day of her life, 541 00:26:56,792 --> 00:27:00,458 since she met me, and that that would be done by me. 542 00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:03,167 It's good to have some dreams, some goals, some hopes, 543 00:27:03,250 --> 00:27:07,000 some vision, and really be leaning into the future for that 544 00:27:07,083 --> 00:27:10,292 last day on earth before you stand before the Lord Jesus 545 00:27:10,333 --> 00:27:12,583 and every day thereafter. 546 00:27:12,667 --> 00:27:16,333 But the truth is it doesn't matter how well we plan 547 00:27:16,375 --> 00:27:21,917 and prepare, and sometimes even specifically how we pray. 548 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,333 Things don't go according to what we were anticipating 549 00:27:25,375 --> 00:27:27,333 or expecting. 550 00:27:27,375 --> 00:27:31,208 And so in addition to having prayer, and preparation, 551 00:27:31,292 --> 00:27:35,125 and planning, you also need to have some flexibility. 552 00:27:35,167 --> 00:27:38,292 Proverbs 16:9 says it this way: 553 00:27:38,333 --> 00:27:40,500 "The heart of a man plans his way, 554 00:27:40,583 --> 00:27:43,333 but the Lord establishes his steps," 555 00:27:43,375 --> 00:27:45,833 meaning you may have a great plan for your life 556 00:27:45,875 --> 00:27:47,208 and your future. 557 00:27:47,292 --> 00:27:49,917 Some of you may say, "Well, we're going to get married, 558 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:51,667 "and then we're going to have kids, 559 00:27:51,750 --> 00:27:53,417 and we're going to buy a house," 560 00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:55,417 or, "We're going to be in this vocation," 561 00:27:55,500 --> 00:27:57,417 or, "We're going to serve in this ministry," 562 00:27:57,500 --> 00:27:59,417 or, "We're going to live in this city," 563 00:27:59,500 --> 00:28:02,458 or, "We're going to be together for this many decades." 564 00:28:02,500 --> 00:28:05,667 But we don't know. 565 00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:10,000 We just don't know what the future holds. 566 00:28:10,083 --> 00:28:15,000 Will one of us get sick or both of us? 567 00:28:15,042 --> 00:28:19,083 Will tragedy come upon us that we weren't anticipating? 568 00:28:19,167 --> 00:28:23,917 Will one of us die long before we were expecting 569 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:28,333 and be preparing the funeral and a future that is devoid 570 00:28:28,375 --> 00:28:32,833 of the person that was written into every page of every day 571 00:28:32,875 --> 00:28:35,917 that we had scripted for the rest of our life? 572 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,500 What is revealed in those moments, truly, 573 00:28:38,583 --> 00:28:41,333 is a relationship with Jesus. 574 00:28:41,375 --> 00:28:44,875 Do we believe that he will be enough, if our spouse is gone? 575 00:28:44,958 --> 00:28:48,875 Do we believe that he is still good, even when things are hard? 576 00:28:48,958 --> 00:28:53,500 Do we trust that he will, in every way, 577 00:28:53,542 --> 00:28:57,500 get us through whatever season we find ourselves in? 578 00:28:57,583 --> 00:29:01,667 Not that it'll be easy or pain free, 579 00:29:01,750 --> 00:29:07,125 but that it will be for Jesus' glory and our good. 580 00:29:07,167 --> 00:29:11,708 And I think sometimes, with couples--and I know Grace and I 581 00:29:11,792 --> 00:29:13,625 have been guilty of this-- 582 00:29:13,667 --> 00:29:16,583 you just assume that you're going to have a long time. 583 00:29:16,667 --> 00:29:19,500 If you're fighting, "We've got time to work it out." 584 00:29:19,542 --> 00:29:21,500 If we haven't dealt with past issues, 585 00:29:21,583 --> 00:29:24,000 there's plenty of time to deal with that. 586 00:29:24,083 --> 00:29:26,833 The assumption is there'll always be more time. 587 00:29:26,875 --> 00:29:29,000 "We'll get there eventually. 588 00:29:29,083 --> 00:29:31,500 "We'll work on our friendship in a few years. 589 00:29:31,542 --> 00:29:34,292 "When the kids are grown, then we'll really work on our 590 00:29:34,333 --> 00:29:37,417 "spiritual life and be involved in church, and community group, 591 00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:38,875 "and Bible reading, and prayer. 592 00:29:38,958 --> 00:29:41,625 "But right now, you know, we're trying to start our family. 593 00:29:41,667 --> 00:29:43,125 "We're trying to start our company. 594 00:29:43,167 --> 00:29:45,625 "We're trying to make sure that the kids are involved 595 00:29:45,667 --> 00:29:47,000 in all their activities." 596 00:29:47,083 --> 00:29:51,333 So much of life takes so much of life that we really 597 00:29:51,375 --> 00:29:55,208 want to encourage you to have a sense of urgency. 598 00:29:55,292 --> 00:29:58,625 The truth is we just don't know. 599 00:29:58,667 --> 00:30:02,708 We don't know if we have another minute, let alone another day, 600 00:30:02,792 --> 00:30:06,125 another week, another month, another year, another decade. 601 00:30:06,167 --> 00:30:10,042 And we don't want to live foolishly and shortsightedly, 602 00:30:10,125 --> 00:30:13,958 but we also want to live purposefully, and passionately, 603 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,833 and presently, making the most of every day, 604 00:30:17,875 --> 00:30:20,250 just in case it's the last day. 605 00:30:20,333 --> 00:30:24,167 And, again, some of our friends that are willing to share that 606 00:30:24,208 --> 00:30:27,167 with us give us some tremendous insights, 607 00:30:27,208 --> 00:30:30,625 that our hope would be would help to open your heart toward 608 00:30:30,667 --> 00:30:33,542 the possibility of you not having as much time as you 609 00:30:33,625 --> 00:30:37,667 thought and having a sense of urgency that you ought. 610 00:30:37,708 --> 00:30:40,333 I brought my four kids together at our dining room 611 00:30:40,417 --> 00:30:44,417 table, before I met Sue, and I took off my wedding ring 612 00:30:44,500 --> 00:30:46,917 from Jeanne and put it on the table and said, 613 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,917 "I'm going to start dating." 614 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,833 And they all go, "Oh, my gosh." 615 00:30:50,917 --> 00:30:53,667 [laughing] 616 00:30:53,708 --> 00:30:57,000 And I really didn't know what I was doing at all. 617 00:30:57,083 --> 00:31:00,333 So, like, I got on eHarmony. 618 00:31:00,375 --> 00:31:03,208 And, you know, they have a picture and a profile. 619 00:31:03,292 --> 00:31:05,167 So, I just started cutting and pasting. 620 00:31:05,250 --> 00:31:10,125 And I made a PowerPoint presentation and showed my kids. 621 00:31:10,167 --> 00:31:13,125 [laughing] 622 00:31:14,083 --> 00:31:15,458 That's fantastic. 623 00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:17,250 So, how did you guys meet? 624 00:31:17,333 --> 00:31:18,750 Same thing, on eHarmony. 625 00:31:18,833 --> 00:31:20,167 On eHarmony? 626 00:31:20,208 --> 00:31:21,833 Because we started asking questions, 627 00:31:21,875 --> 00:31:25,208 and then we found out that she'd gone to a church that I'd been 628 00:31:25,292 --> 00:31:27,625 the youth pastor at, you know, 20 years ago, 629 00:31:27,667 --> 00:31:31,167 and that I'd had cousins of hers in my youth group. 630 00:31:31,208 --> 00:31:35,042 And so, you know, we had references. 631 00:31:35,125 --> 00:31:36,833 How awkward was it? 632 00:31:36,917 --> 00:31:39,625 You're dating, and now your kids are married, 633 00:31:39,667 --> 00:31:41,708 giving you relationship advice. 634 00:31:41,792 --> 00:31:45,458 It was, it was-- I mean, it was weird. 635 00:31:45,500 --> 00:31:50,208 And for the most part, they weren't real happy. 636 00:31:50,292 --> 00:31:51,750 You know what I mean? 637 00:31:51,833 --> 00:31:55,333 And most of them were guarding hard the memory of Jeanne. 638 00:31:55,417 --> 00:31:58,125 Yeah, and your kids are probably wanting to protect you. 639 00:31:58,167 --> 00:32:01,500 Well, and that's the thing I didn't understand until 640 00:32:01,583 --> 00:32:04,208 we were married, really. 641 00:32:04,292 --> 00:32:11,042 My son, you know, he was--both my sons--the oldest one was 6, 642 00:32:11,125 --> 00:32:14,333 and the younger was 18 months when their dad left, 643 00:32:14,417 --> 00:32:18,625 and didn't realize that the oldest one had really 644 00:32:18,667 --> 00:32:22,125 taken on this position of-- 645 00:32:22,167 --> 00:32:23,500 Your protector. 646 00:32:23,583 --> 00:32:25,208 Of my protector. 647 00:32:25,292 --> 00:32:28,333 And he had never stepped up and never said that, 648 00:32:28,417 --> 00:32:30,667 but when we were going to get married, 649 00:32:30,708 --> 00:32:34,333 he just really verbalized that, that he wanted to know who was 650 00:32:34,417 --> 00:32:37,833 this man that was going to be in my life now, 651 00:32:37,875 --> 00:32:42,167 and really stepped into that, that he was very concerned 652 00:32:42,208 --> 00:32:47,667 for me, and that he had carried that load all of those years 653 00:32:47,708 --> 00:32:51,417 and had never really told me that he'd been, you know, 654 00:32:51,500 --> 00:32:53,833 in that place in his heart. 655 00:32:53,875 --> 00:32:55,667 Yeah. 656 00:32:55,708 --> 00:32:58,417 So, everybody was doing kind of a tentative dance. 657 00:32:58,500 --> 00:33:03,208 And, you know, we looked at our kids, both of them, really, 658 00:33:03,292 --> 00:33:06,125 and said, you know, "Bill doesn't have to be your dad. 659 00:33:06,167 --> 00:33:08,417 "Sue doesn't have to be your mom. 660 00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:11,500 But we want to be husband and wife." 661 00:33:11,583 --> 00:33:14,625 And Candice, my daughter-in-law, was really the one that just 662 00:33:14,667 --> 00:33:18,833 kind of weighed in, and she goes, "Okay, I love Jeanne, 663 00:33:18,875 --> 00:33:21,208 "and you'll never take her place, 664 00:33:21,292 --> 00:33:23,708 but my kids need a grandma, so you're in." 665 00:33:23,792 --> 00:33:25,208 You know? 666 00:33:25,292 --> 00:33:27,208 And just everybody just kind of jumped into, 667 00:33:27,292 --> 00:33:29,417 "You can be Grandma Sue," right away, you know? 668 00:33:29,500 --> 00:33:31,708 That's a great place to be. 669 00:33:31,792 --> 00:33:33,333 Yeah. 670 00:33:33,375 --> 00:33:35,208 Those are cute boys too. 671 00:33:35,292 --> 00:33:37,000 They really are. 672 00:33:37,042 --> 00:33:39,500 We've had some tough chapters with our son--another whole long 673 00:33:39,542 --> 00:33:42,833 story--but at 3 years old was diagnosed with leukemia. 674 00:33:42,875 --> 00:33:45,208 And, I mean, our whole life changed. 675 00:33:45,292 --> 00:33:47,667 God was so faithful in that time. 676 00:33:47,750 --> 00:33:52,292 When I would break and literally just cry and just cry upon, 677 00:33:52,333 --> 00:33:55,083 you know, to the Lord, he was really strong 678 00:33:55,167 --> 00:33:57,708 and would just hug me. 679 00:33:57,792 --> 00:34:00,542 And then Tim has not cried much in our marriage, 680 00:34:00,625 --> 00:34:02,833 but those were the times he cried. 681 00:34:02,917 --> 00:34:04,292 And when he would break, 682 00:34:04,333 --> 00:34:06,333 the Lord would just give me that strength. 683 00:34:06,417 --> 00:34:08,917 So, it was never together that we were down. 684 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,417 It was always one or the other that the Lord was using 685 00:34:12,500 --> 00:34:15,625 to just keep us tight together. 686 00:34:15,667 --> 00:34:19,417 We saw the Lord working in all these families, 687 00:34:19,500 --> 00:34:23,583 and the miracle that our son--the doctor wouldn't even 688 00:34:23,667 --> 00:34:26,292 let me--at first, I'd go visit other gals 689 00:34:26,333 --> 00:34:27,917 that had leukemia kids. 690 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:32,708 And Tim--our son's whole situation was so not the norm, 691 00:34:32,792 --> 00:34:34,500 that he says, "You know what? 692 00:34:34,583 --> 00:34:36,708 "You can't go and talk to these people now, 693 00:34:36,792 --> 00:34:38,333 because he's not the norm." 694 00:34:38,375 --> 00:34:41,333 We had all the elders anoint him with oil in the hospital, 695 00:34:41,375 --> 00:34:44,083 and the presence of the Lord, we could just feel it, 696 00:34:44,167 --> 00:34:45,833 and that day his counts went up. 697 00:34:45,875 --> 00:34:47,583 They never dropped again. So, we believe-- 698 00:34:47,667 --> 00:34:49,167 He's healthy today? 699 00:34:49,250 --> 00:34:50,583 Oh, yeah. 700 00:34:50,667 --> 00:34:52,042 How many years ago was that? 701 00:34:52,125 --> 00:34:53,625 Twenty-eight years this Mother's Day. 702 00:34:53,667 --> 00:34:56,333 Yeah, but he was healed that night, and it was just, 703 00:34:56,375 --> 00:34:58,083 even the doctors and the nurses said, 704 00:34:58,167 --> 00:34:59,500 "Do they need the chaplain?" 705 00:34:59,542 --> 00:35:01,542 They said, "Oh, no, I don't think so. 706 00:35:01,625 --> 00:35:03,542 They've got five pastors in there right now." 707 00:35:03,625 --> 00:35:06,083 You know, so big trial, but amazing, 708 00:35:06,167 --> 00:35:10,833 amazing grace that God gave us of strength one day at a time. 709 00:35:10,875 --> 00:35:15,208 But, boy, the lives that, through that experience, 710 00:35:15,292 --> 00:35:19,708 were touched by just trusting the Lord and giving glory 711 00:35:19,792 --> 00:35:22,792 to Jesus for healing him was unbelievable. 712 00:35:22,833 --> 00:35:25,708 Just remembering how special it was to sit around a table 713 00:35:25,792 --> 00:35:28,833 together as a family, we really made that a priority. 714 00:35:28,875 --> 00:35:31,292 Yeah, and I think that contributed to the idea about 715 00:35:31,333 --> 00:35:34,708 finishing well is you just have, today, because we didn't know. 716 00:35:34,792 --> 00:35:39,292 We realized that children really are a gift from God and that 717 00:35:39,333 --> 00:35:42,792 anything that you have, the life that we have is a gift, 718 00:35:42,833 --> 00:35:45,375 because it can be just, can just be gone. 719 00:35:45,458 --> 00:35:48,917 And so that really taught us that and really, 720 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,417 I think it really renewed and strengthened us. 721 00:35:51,500 --> 00:35:53,708 We really had a great marriage to that point. 722 00:35:53,792 --> 00:35:55,208 It was strong. 723 00:35:55,292 --> 00:35:58,125 Yeah, and it really made us that much stronger and really 724 00:35:58,167 --> 00:36:02,500 re-emphasized the gift that we have of today. 725 00:36:02,542 --> 00:36:05,042 For the couples that are going to hear this, 726 00:36:05,125 --> 00:36:09,000 and maybe they're not as reconciled as they should be, 727 00:36:09,042 --> 00:36:11,708 or they're so busy making their plans and working on their 728 00:36:11,792 --> 00:36:15,167 future that they're not really enjoying the present--I mean, 729 00:36:15,250 --> 00:36:17,708 from your perspective, what advice, 730 00:36:17,792 --> 00:36:19,500 what counsel would you give, 731 00:36:19,583 --> 00:36:22,000 as somebody who only had a few years married 732 00:36:22,042 --> 00:36:24,292 and only had one year married as a Christian? 733 00:36:24,333 --> 00:36:26,583 Yeah. 734 00:36:26,667 --> 00:36:33,000 That most likely, life is very long, and you get lots of time, 735 00:36:33,083 --> 00:36:37,292 and what's important today is not important next year. 736 00:36:37,333 --> 00:36:40,500 And so just constantly pulling back and looking at that 737 00:36:40,542 --> 00:36:44,500 big picture, and then at the same time, knowing 738 00:36:44,583 --> 00:36:47,000 every day is precious. 739 00:36:47,083 --> 00:36:50,417 You get angry, or you go to sleep angry, or you leave angry. 740 00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:53,917 And I know, in the back of my mind, it's always, 741 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:55,917 "Well, they could be dead. 742 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:59,708 Make up, because you don't want to leave it that way." 743 00:36:59,792 --> 00:37:02,292 We left--you know, he died in the house. 744 00:37:02,333 --> 00:37:04,750 Everyone was there. 745 00:37:04,833 --> 00:37:08,000 We all got to say goodbye and I love you. 746 00:37:08,042 --> 00:37:10,500 And that, to me, was priceless. 747 00:37:10,583 --> 00:37:12,708 I didn't know all year when he would die, 748 00:37:12,792 --> 00:37:16,208 whether I was going to be there, and I'm just grateful 749 00:37:16,292 --> 00:37:18,292 that we all got to be there. 750 00:37:18,333 --> 00:37:23,833 I'm going to ask a question, and everybody could take a turn. 751 00:37:23,875 --> 00:37:26,292 Just one sentence we'll make this. 752 00:37:26,333 --> 00:37:33,292 Okay, so, best counsel regarding marriage you've ever gotten-- 753 00:37:33,333 --> 00:37:34,917 one sentence. 754 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,875 Anything come to mind? 755 00:37:36,958 --> 00:37:39,292 Your whole life, anything you've heard, read, 756 00:37:39,333 --> 00:37:43,792 somebody said, I preached in a sermon, perhaps. 757 00:37:43,833 --> 00:37:46,500 You say, "That was the best advice or the advice 758 00:37:46,583 --> 00:37:48,625 that comes to mind." 759 00:37:48,667 --> 00:37:51,000 One sentence, what would that be? 760 00:37:51,083 --> 00:37:53,625 Don't go to bed angry. 761 00:37:53,667 --> 00:37:55,292 Keep short accounts. 762 00:37:55,333 --> 00:37:57,875 Ephesians 4, yeah. 763 00:37:57,958 --> 00:38:02,375 Keep your eyes on Jesus, not each other. 764 00:38:02,458 --> 00:38:06,625 Be quick to forgive and to take correction, 765 00:38:06,667 --> 00:38:10,125 and hope for the best. 766 00:38:10,167 --> 00:38:14,083 Anybody else? 767 00:38:14,167 --> 00:38:19,500 The thing I learned was if I did everything that 768 00:38:19,542 --> 00:38:23,333 a biblical husband did, I got a 50%. 769 00:38:23,375 --> 00:38:26,833 And I thought I was a good husband with Jeanne, 770 00:38:26,875 --> 00:38:29,500 and I did biblical husband, and I knew Jeanne. 771 00:38:29,542 --> 00:38:31,208 I was married when I was 21. 772 00:38:31,292 --> 00:38:32,792 We were married for 30 years. 773 00:38:32,833 --> 00:38:36,292 So, I just imported all that to Sue, and I was getting a 50. 774 00:38:36,333 --> 00:38:38,792 And I'm going, like, "What's the problem here?" 775 00:38:38,833 --> 00:38:41,208 But it's like the biblical-- 776 00:38:41,292 --> 00:38:42,917 She's a different girl. 777 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,583 Yeah, so the biblical husband is like the alphabet, 778 00:38:45,667 --> 00:38:47,917 and your spouse is your signature, you know? 779 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,333 Yeah. 780 00:38:50,375 --> 00:38:51,917 You were going to say? 781 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,917 I was going to say, for the women, 782 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:58,083 I think what was told to me years ago is to make your home 783 00:38:58,167 --> 00:39:00,375 a haven for your husband. 784 00:39:00,458 --> 00:39:05,167 Tim has had very strong, high-stress jobs all his life, 785 00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:07,708 through the Coast Guard, all through his careers, 786 00:39:07,792 --> 00:39:10,000 and his home was a place to rest, 787 00:39:10,083 --> 00:39:12,125 and don't make it crazy, chaotic. 788 00:39:12,167 --> 00:39:13,792 Even with kids, 789 00:39:13,833 --> 00:39:16,333 make it a wonderful place to come home to. 790 00:39:16,375 --> 00:39:19,208 What Don said to me, when we had our first serious 791 00:39:19,292 --> 00:39:23,500 fight—we must have been married about a month a half--and he simply 792 00:39:23,542 --> 00:39:26,625 said, "You made a vow, and you'd better keep it." 793 00:39:26,667 --> 00:39:29,000 And it went right to the depth of my soul, 794 00:39:29,083 --> 00:39:31,375 and never debated it ever again. 795 00:39:31,458 --> 00:39:34,417 "You made a vow. You'd better keep it." 796 00:39:34,500 --> 00:39:39,125 Yeah, that's true. 797 00:39:39,167 --> 00:39:44,500 I have a word of advice for young people is to not go dating 798 00:39:44,583 --> 00:39:48,708 by yourself with somebody until you're financially independent. 799 00:39:48,792 --> 00:39:51,500 Yeah, especially for the men, yeah. 800 00:39:51,542 --> 00:39:54,792 We found that worked with our children. 801 00:39:54,833 --> 00:39:56,708 Absolutely. 802 00:39:56,792 --> 00:39:59,000 And I know when we read Proverbs 31 803 00:39:59,083 --> 00:40:01,000 that every guy wants that. 804 00:40:01,042 --> 00:40:04,167 And the point of it is, is that we're responsible for our wife 805 00:40:04,250 --> 00:40:05,583 being able to bloom. 806 00:40:05,667 --> 00:40:08,750 That's part of this "what does it mean to be a spiritual leader 807 00:40:08,833 --> 00:40:10,750 of your family" is help your wife bloom 808 00:40:10,833 --> 00:40:12,542 to become that Proverbs 31. 809 00:40:12,625 --> 00:40:14,667 It's not wishing and hoping for something else, 810 00:40:14,708 --> 00:40:16,833 but I have personal responsibility. 811 00:40:16,917 --> 00:40:19,625 I think my favorite pastor said something like that 812 00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:21,250 early in the series. 813 00:40:21,333 --> 00:40:24,625 Yeah, I mean it's true, though, if you look at it-- 814 00:40:24,667 --> 00:40:26,208 Your wife is flourishing. 815 00:40:26,292 --> 00:40:27,667 Yeah, you're the gardener. 816 00:40:27,708 --> 00:40:29,833 As a husband, you need to be the gardener, 817 00:40:29,917 --> 00:40:31,833 and you can't just say, "Man, you know, 818 00:40:31,917 --> 00:40:33,333 I wish that garden looked difference." 819 00:40:33,417 --> 00:40:36,125 Like, well, then the gardener needs to get involved, you know? 820 00:40:36,167 --> 00:40:37,500 And that's right. 821 00:40:37,583 --> 00:40:39,250 I'm the gardener and accepting that responsibility, 822 00:40:39,333 --> 00:40:41,250 and being able to allow her to bloom. 823 00:40:41,333 --> 00:40:43,250 Yeah, she's happy, which is a good sign. 824 00:40:43,333 --> 00:40:45,333 Momma's happy, we're all happy. 825 00:40:45,417 --> 00:40:47,000 That's another saying. 826 00:40:47,083 --> 00:40:50,708 How about the one thing you're most glad about 827 00:40:50,792 --> 00:40:56,000 in your marriage, the one thing you thank God for the most, 828 00:40:56,083 --> 00:40:59,458 the biggest joy, the biggest blessing, 829 00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:02,625 the one thing that is at the top of the list of 830 00:41:02,667 --> 00:41:05,125 "Thank you, Lord, for that." 831 00:41:05,167 --> 00:41:08,167 I guess I could respond to that. 832 00:41:08,208 --> 00:41:11,250 I feel like there's many times 833 00:41:11,333 --> 00:41:17,708 that Bill could keep up with an argument 834 00:41:17,792 --> 00:41:22,250 for wanting to be right, 835 00:41:22,333 --> 00:41:27,167 and he will let it go. 836 00:41:27,208 --> 00:41:33,542 And I see it as being very sacrificial, 837 00:41:33,625 --> 00:41:36,333 and that is love, 838 00:41:36,417 --> 00:41:42,000 and I see him reflecting Jesus in what he doesn't have to do, 839 00:41:42,083 --> 00:41:46,625 and then it makes me want to reflect Jesus to him, 840 00:41:46,667 --> 00:41:49,500 and that when those opportunities come, 841 00:41:49,583 --> 00:41:52,250 and I want to be bullheaded, and I want to have-- 842 00:41:52,333 --> 00:41:55,333 I want to win--that that's my opportunity 843 00:41:55,375 --> 00:41:59,167 that I get to give him a glimpse of Jesus, 844 00:41:59,208 --> 00:42:01,792 and I'm really thankful for that, 845 00:42:01,833 --> 00:42:04,125 that I get to see Jesus through him. 846 00:42:04,167 --> 00:42:05,500 Yeah. 847 00:42:05,583 --> 00:42:09,750 Yeah, and sometimes you can win an argument and lose a spouse. 848 00:42:09,833 --> 00:42:13,417 It's much better to win a spouse, yeah. 849 00:42:13,500 --> 00:42:17,333 Anybody else, you say, "Boy, I'm so thankful for that." 850 00:42:17,375 --> 00:42:20,958 My deepest gratefulness is God is first in his life. 851 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:22,667 You know he loves Jesus? 852 00:42:22,708 --> 00:42:24,333 God is first, yes. 853 00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:25,750 God is first. 854 00:42:25,833 --> 00:42:28,833 What does that do for a wife emotionally, knowing you don't 855 00:42:28,875 --> 00:42:32,833 have to be God to him, you just get to be wife? 856 00:42:32,917 --> 00:42:35,708 Well, to me, it's been that he's-- 857 00:42:35,792 --> 00:42:37,458 I asked him the other morning, 858 00:42:37,500 --> 00:42:39,833 I woke up-- a man of few words, remember-- 859 00:42:39,875 --> 00:42:42,000 I said, "What do you like best about me?" 860 00:42:42,083 --> 00:42:43,417 He said, "You're there." 861 00:42:43,500 --> 00:42:46,167 And right away then I go to Christ, and I say, 862 00:42:46,208 --> 00:42:48,208 "What did he mean?" 863 00:42:48,292 --> 00:42:50,417 And he said, "Well, that's the way it is, 864 00:42:50,500 --> 00:42:52,250 "where I feel that there's a church. 865 00:42:52,333 --> 00:42:53,750 "It's mine. The church is mine. 866 00:42:53,833 --> 00:42:55,167 It's there." 867 00:42:55,208 --> 00:42:57,667 And that's the way it is. He's there for me. 868 00:42:57,708 --> 00:42:59,167 He loves me like a bride. 869 00:42:59,208 --> 00:43:02,625 Even though I'm old and gray, he still loves me like a bride. 870 00:43:02,667 --> 00:43:05,917 And she goes to the doctor with me, 871 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,500 and we're together a lot, and it'd be a real missing 872 00:43:09,583 --> 00:43:13,583 if she wasn't there. 873 00:43:13,667 --> 00:43:17,292 And she's a nurse, too, and she knows how to take care 874 00:43:17,333 --> 00:43:22,125 of minor illnesses. 875 00:43:22,167 --> 00:43:26,625 Well, we thoroughly enjoy just hearing the grace of God 876 00:43:26,667 --> 00:43:28,000 in your life. 877 00:43:28,083 --> 00:43:32,167 It's a huge encouragement for so many who didn't come from 878 00:43:32,250 --> 00:43:34,708 intact families, who didn't have Christian parents, 879 00:43:34,792 --> 00:43:37,333 or are brand-new Christians, or are single, 880 00:43:37,375 --> 00:43:39,833 even a little concerned about getting married, 881 00:43:39,875 --> 00:43:43,208 because they don't have a lot of good hope or examples. 882 00:43:43,292 --> 00:43:45,625 I mean, I know even for all of us, 883 00:43:45,667 --> 00:43:47,708 even those that have been married a while, 884 00:43:47,792 --> 00:43:49,417 it's an encouragement. 885 00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:52,417 So, if you'd be willing, Don, I'd love to just give you 886 00:43:52,500 --> 00:43:54,375 the final word in the whole sermon series. 887 00:43:54,458 --> 00:43:57,583 And if you would be willing, just to close our time in prayer 888 00:43:57,667 --> 00:44:00,542 and to pray for those who would hear this and the couples 889 00:44:00,625 --> 00:44:03,042 that we might be able to serve from our conversation. 890 00:44:03,125 --> 00:44:04,500 I'd really, really appreciate that, 891 00:44:04,542 --> 00:44:08,000 if you could just close our time in prayer. 892 00:44:08,083 --> 00:44:11,292 Father in heaven, we come before you so grateful 893 00:44:11,333 --> 00:44:14,833 and thankful for having a Savior like our Savior Jesus, 894 00:44:14,875 --> 00:44:18,625 and we just pray that this here conversations and all around 895 00:44:18,667 --> 00:44:23,417 the table this evening will enlighten, encourage, 896 00:44:23,500 --> 00:44:28,125 and be a blessing to those people that hear it. 897 00:44:28,167 --> 00:44:34,167 We just pray that you'll cause it to really awaken 898 00:44:34,250 --> 00:44:37,833 what you would have them to be awakened to, 899 00:44:37,875 --> 00:44:41,000 whether it's continuing in their marriage 900 00:44:41,083 --> 00:44:46,625 to continue on in strength and trust and love for each other, 901 00:44:46,667 --> 00:44:50,708 or that it's people that are hurting because their marriage 902 00:44:50,792 --> 00:44:55,125 isn't so good, and we just pray that all these things is put 903 00:44:55,167 --> 00:45:01,000 together, including this series that Mark is in now about 904 00:45:01,042 --> 00:45:04,875 marriage, pray that all these things together will work out 905 00:45:04,958 --> 00:45:07,083 for your honor and glory. 906 00:45:07,167 --> 00:45:08,833 We just praise and thank you. 907 00:45:08,875 --> 00:45:10,333 In Jesus' name, amen. 908 00:45:10,375 --> 00:45:12,292 Amen, amen.