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[music]

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I grew up in Florida,
Jacksonville, Florida,

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but when I was 4 years old,
it was the first time

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I was molested by a man
that lived down the street.

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He had three little boys, and
we went swimming in the pool,

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and he molested me.

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My mom and dad were together
until I was about 13 or 14.

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My dad was a preacher.

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He then became an alcoholic
and abused my mom.

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And then they
eventually split up.

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The US Supreme Court can't
even define pornography.

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They've struggled with
it for a long time.

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For purposes of our discussion,
here's what we mean.

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We mean movies
that are explicit,

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photos that are explicit,
websites that are explicit.

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In addition to
the hardcore forms,

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we also are talking about
the softcore forms,

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some of the men's magazines
that basically show as much as

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pornography did just
a few generations ago.

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And the same is true
for the women's magazines,

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some of them sitting in
the grocery store line

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showing things that
a few generations prior

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would have been tucked away
under a shelf

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not for public viewing,

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because it would've
qualified for pornography,

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not to mention the headlines
that are shouting

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even at children.

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I would go so far as
to include romance novels,

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which encourage women to have
pornographic fantasies

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in their mind of someone other
than their husband,

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and the same goes for men

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who also are into
such sinful fantasizing.

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And, yes, it does count.

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Sometimes pornography
is in an image.

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Sometimes it's
in your imagination.

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I was recently
on a television show

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with Dr. Drew,

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my wife Grace and I were,
and we got ridiculed for that,

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and they thought that was
completely unnecessary to say

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that even fantasizing of someone
other than your spouse

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could constitute anything wrong
or unhealthy or abnormal,

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but it is a pornographic thought
life that is equally guilty,

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because God not only
sees what you see,

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but he also sees what you think.

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And so many of us have been
so desensitized to this,

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because it is now "normal."
That is porn practically.

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Porn culturally is
a fairly recent phenomenon

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in its current form.

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To be sure, in previous
generations and cultures,

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you had images drawn
and things of that nature,

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but everything changed in 1953
with the debut of the first

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pornographic magazine issue of
"Playboy" with the now-legendary

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Marilyn Monroe on the cover.

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And with the sexual revolution
of the 1960s and 70s,

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pornography became
much more popular.

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It became much more graphic,
with
"Hustler" and "Penthouse"

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pushing the envelope and then
others trying to outdo them,

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so that now there is a real
competition to see who can have

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the most extreme and newest edge
of depravity

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when it comes to pornography.

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And what's happened now is
pornography is now mainstream,

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culturally speaking.

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You have mainstream
pop celebrities making their

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own sex tapes and distributing
their own pornography,

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and you have those who, as well,
have developed their identity

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and made their living
in the porn industry

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crossing over
into the mainstream,

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doing television shows,
mainstream movies,

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appearing in reality
television shows and the like.

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And so the line between
pornographic culture

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and pop culture is blurred,
if not altogether eliminated,

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and it's such an industry today
that between

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$10 and $14 billion a year is
spent on pornography.

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That is more than the combined
revenue of pro baseball,

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basketball,
and football teams combined.

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That's more money than was spent
on foreign aid

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by the United States of America
last year.

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Additionally, globally, it's
a phenomenon often tied to

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the sex trade and slavery.

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Upwards of $90 billion a year
is spent globally on porn.

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And some of you will say, "Well,
I don't contribute money to it."

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But you do, because
the advertisers are the ones

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who pay a fee.

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And every time you click,
you are legitimizing

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their existence, and you're
participating in a culture

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of slavery and abuse. And there
is no such thing as free porn.

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The people participating pay
and the advertisers pay so that

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you can enjoy their suffering,
shame, and humiliation.

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So, you were sexually
abused as a little girl.

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For women that are in
the industry, is that common?

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Yeah, it's very common.

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As far as the gals
you know, friends you have,

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what percentage would you say
have a similar experience?

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I would say
probably all of them.

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It's a very common thing.

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And so older men
abuse young girls,

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and then those women
grow up to then be abused

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in a different way.

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Yeah, it's kind of like,
I guess, when it happened,

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I disassociated, and that's
kind of like the same thing

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I did when I was
in the business,

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because you learn
how to do that.

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You learn how to numb yourself,
and then you just disassociate,

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and it's kind of like
you're not really there.

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I'm sorry about that, and I
appreciate you being brave

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and sharing that,
and I think, as a father,

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to have that insight is
devastating and illuminating

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to think a little girl
was harmed,

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and then that set in motion

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where she can disassociate,
sort of check out,

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emotionally distance herself,
which then sort of grooms

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and prepares her
for the industry and her future.

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You know, it's a daddy's
delight, not just his duty,

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to love and protect his
daughters and to keep them

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from a certain fate.

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And so as a little girl, was
the dream, kind of, get married,

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and be a mom, and--

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When I was a little girl,
yeah, I played with--never mind.

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I played with baby dolls
'til I was, like, 14.

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I wanted to be a mom.

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It's kind of embarrassing,
but--and I always thought,

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I always thought that one
day I would adopt a baby.

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And I don't know.

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Now I don't know what
God's plan is for me,

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but back then that was--I mean,
for many years, that was, like,

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the main thing I
would focus on, like,

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how am I going--who
am I going to marry?

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I want to have kids
as soon as possible,

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so I can be a young mom,
like my mom was,

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and it just didn't
happen that way for me.

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When I was 17 years old,
17 years old

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and was in high school,
I got pregnant

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by a boyfriend that
I had at the time,

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and he told me if I
got pregnant, that we would,

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we would have the baby
and live together.

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And this was one of
the most traumatic things.

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Still, I haven't even really
received healing from it,

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but I ended up--my mom wanted
me to have an abortion,

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and I didn't want to do that.

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I went to the clinic, and they
got to the part where they--

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what is it called when
they put the gel?

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An ultrasound?
Yeah, the ultrasound.

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And they say, "Do you want to
see your baby's heartbeat?"

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And I said, "Yes."

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And I looked, and I saw it,
and I panicked, and I left,

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and I told the boyfriend
I wasn't going to do it.

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I went home, and my mom was
there, and she said, she said,

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"Well, how did it go?"

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She was talking to my boyfriend.

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I went straight to
the bathroom, crying.

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And he goes,
"She didn't do it."

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And then she took--my mom took
me back the next day

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and made sure that I did do it.

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I drew a picture of me holding
my baby, and I named it.

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Was that the only
abortion you've had?

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No, no.

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That's the only one I remember,
because when I went to

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the clinic, there's certain--I
can't even remember what it is,

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but you pay extra money so
that it doesn't hurt as bad.

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I know that's part of it.

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And my mom was paying for it.

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My boyfriend said
he was going to.

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He decided not to.

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My mom was paying it.

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And out of, like,
a sense of, like, I don't know,

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obligation, I felt like
I shouldn't have, like,

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the pain--I should--I don't
know--not cost more money,

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because it was an inconvenience.

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So, sort of punish yourself too
a little bit with some pain

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and suffering?

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Yeah.

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And just, like,
it broke my heart.

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I had nightmares for a really
long time, and, you know,

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I'd just stay in my room
and write poetry to my baby.

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What's interesting is
the Bible,

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for thousands of years,
has said that lust,

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and that is the entire purpose
in porn and pornography,

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is sinful, and it's unholy,
and it's unhelpful.

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And now modern medicine and
science is starting to catch up

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with the truthful
teaching of the Bible.

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And so biopsychologists and
others are studying the effects

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of pornography on your
brain and on your body,

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and that's because pornography
really was, in its current form,

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it was a massive
social experiment.

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People were uncertain
what the results would be,

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but your generation,
your parents' generation,

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they were essentially the lab
rats for the massive experiment.

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And what we're finding now is
that pornography alters

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the chemistry of the brain.

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It changes you, as a person.

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One of the leading researchers
from the Christian side is

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William Struthers.

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He's a Christian
biopsychologist.

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He wrote a very interesting
book called

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"Wired for Intimacy,"

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and then he not only looked
at what the Bible says,

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but also what medicine
and recent biochemical studies

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have found,
and here were his findings.

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He said, "As we," quote, "fall
deeper into the mental habit

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"of fixating on these images,

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"the exposure to them
creates neural pathways.

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"Like a path that's created in
the woods with each successive

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"hiker, so do the neural paths
set the course for the next time

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"an erotic image is viewed.

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"Over time, these
neural paths become wider,

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"as they are repeatedly
traveled with each exposure

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to pornography."

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So, here's what he's saying.

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You desire pleasure
and the relief that comes

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ultimately from activities
surrounding pornography,

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and so you venture
down that path,

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so that you
might receive that pleasure.

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Over time, this is how
you become addicted,

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because your body
becomes habituated,

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conditioned to going down
that path for that pleasure.

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It's a neural pathway.

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You think of it this way.

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Think of a pristine wilderness
where no one has been,

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except for one path that
was frequently hiked upon,

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and everyone ventured
along that path.

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Eventually, it would
be a well-worn rut.

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So it is in
the biopsychology of our brains.

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If we pursue pleasure down
a particular path, over time,

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a neural pathway--to say it
another way, a rut--is created,

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and our body becomes habituated,
conditioned to seeking

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that pleasure down that pathway.

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Now, additional biopsychological
studies have said that

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the pleasure that is derived is
affecting the same part

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of the brain and having
a very similar response

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as that of heroin or cocaine.

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And so if you've ever known
anyone who tried to get off

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of cocaine or heroin, someone
who is deeply addicted

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to pornography has the same
kind of potential struggle.

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Because just like the person who
is addicted to cocaine or heroin

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has created for themselves
a neural pathway,

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they've conditioned their body
and reshaped their brain

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to go down a path
for a pleasure,

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and now it's a well-worn rut,
so it is with pornography.

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That's why you hear people say
that they're addicted to porn

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in the way that some
are addicted to cocaine

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or addicted to heroin.

243
00:12:54,042 --> 00:12:59,000
It's that same kind of
chemical, biochemical high.

244
00:12:59,042 --> 00:13:01,833
And so people come along,
and they say, "Well, you know,

245
00:13:01,833 --> 00:13:03,875
"two consenting adults.

246
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,667
They're having fun.
Where's the harm?"

247
00:13:06,750 --> 00:13:09,875
You're literally conditioning
your body and re-hardwiring

248
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:15,167
your brain to become addicted
to images that you will

249
00:13:15,250 --> 00:13:20,167
ultimately prefer over people,
such as your spouse,

250
00:13:20,208 --> 00:13:23,000
which is the whole point of
sex, according to the Bible,

251
00:13:23,042 --> 00:13:24,833
in the context of marriage.

252
00:13:24,833 --> 00:13:30,875
And the person who
illustrates this, I think,

253
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:36,375
most disturbingly is
a man named John Mayer.

254
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:38,500
He's a--John Mayer
is a musician.

255
00:13:38,542 --> 00:13:40,500
Many of you are probably
familiar with him.

256
00:13:40,542 --> 00:13:43,667
He's had a lot of famous
celebrity girlfriends.

257
00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:45,750
He travels the world.

258
00:13:45,833 --> 00:13:47,375
He did an interview
with "Playboy,"

259
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:48,875
and in that interview,

260
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,042
John Mayer essentially said,
"I now am so addicted

261
00:13:52,167 --> 00:13:55,500
"to pornography that I prefer
pornography to a relationship

262
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:58,167
with a woman."

263
00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:01,167
He goes on to say in
his interview, quote,

264
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:04,000
"Internet pornography
has absolutely changed

265
00:14:04,042 --> 00:14:08,250
my generation's expectations."

266
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:11,667
What happens when you travel
down that pathway for

267
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:16,167
that pleasure is, eventually,
like all addicts,

268
00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:19,167
you have a hard time
living in the real world.

269
00:14:19,208 --> 00:14:21,583
You have a hard time
dealing with real people.

270
00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:25,583
Things become obsessive,
out of control,

271
00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:29,167
and it's because you have
conditioned your body

272
00:14:29,208 --> 00:14:34,667
and reconditioned your mind in
a very deadly, destructive,

273
00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:36,167
and dark way.

274
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,583
Some of you are hearing this,

275
00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:40,000
you know exactly
what I'm talking about.

276
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:44,250
It feels like gravity pulls
you toward that activity,

277
00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:49,083
and you may feel guilty,
but powerless to stop.

278
00:14:49,167 --> 00:14:52,667
It's because of what they call
a biochemical love potion

279
00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:54,333
is released.

280
00:14:54,417 --> 00:14:59,083
There's endorphins
and euphoric highs,

281
00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:02,042
that are quite similar
to being on drugs,

282
00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:04,875
that are released with
the pleasure that comes

283
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,167
from the ultimate result
of the activities

284
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:10,167
that surround pornography.

285
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:14,750
God created sex and the passions
and pleasures associated with it

286
00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:16,667
for marriage.

287
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:21,375
Because the way God has wired
the body and hardwired the brain

288
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:25,875
is that whatever path we go down
for the pleasure we receive,

289
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,542
we become literally
bonded to it,

290
00:15:28,667 --> 00:15:32,375
connected to that
person or thing.

291
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:35,167
Now, can you see where this
would be a magnificent gift

292
00:15:35,208 --> 00:15:37,875
for marriage?

293
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,083
If you remain pure,
and you're with your spouse,

294
00:15:41,167 --> 00:15:45,250
and you love them emotionally,
you're committed to them

295
00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:50,375
covenantally, you agree
with them theologically,

296
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:56,000
you invest in them verbally,
and you enjoy them physically,

297
00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:59,833
you are habituating yourself,
you are conditioning yourself

298
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:04,167
to be bonded to them, to be into
them, to be connected to them,

299
00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:08,875
to desire them, to be satisfied
with them, to long for them.

300
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:14,167
And in marriage,
that's wonderful.

301
00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:18,375
The qualifications of an elder
include being a one-woman man.

302
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:20,333
It says in
the English translations,

303
00:16:20,417 --> 00:16:23,333
"the husband of one wife," but
in
the Greek it literally means

304
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:26,167
"a one-woman man,"
that he's into one woman,

305
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:31,500
and his desires are her,

306
00:16:31,542 --> 00:16:34,583
his longings are her,

307
00:16:34,667 --> 00:16:37,333
his joy is with her.

308
00:16:37,417 --> 00:16:40,375
And so the way God
has made us, if we obey him,

309
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:44,833
we build this very deep,
significant, emotional, mental,

310
00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:49,000
spiritual, biochemical
connection with our spouse;

311
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,875
but if we sin, we then
bond ourselves with,

312
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,250
connect ourselves to
someone or something else.

313
00:16:54,333 --> 00:16:56,333
This is where pornography
becomes addictive.

314
00:16:56,333 --> 00:17:01,667
This is where people become
consumed with fetishes.

315
00:17:01,708 --> 00:17:05,083
And so God created the body,
and he created the passions

316
00:17:05,167 --> 00:17:09,167
and pleasures
of the body for marriage.

317
00:17:09,250 --> 00:17:12,583
And God was very gracious
and very wise to give us

318
00:17:12,667 --> 00:17:16,250
such a great gift,
so that we might be one.

319
00:17:16,333 --> 00:17:18,500
That's what the Bible says.

320
00:17:18,542 --> 00:17:24,875
And when we sin, we do great
destruction to our own body,

321
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,583
to the hardwiring
of our own brain,

322
00:17:27,667 --> 00:17:32,167
and to our ability
to really enjoy our spouse,

323
00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:35,667
and to be faithfully
devoted to them.

324
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:39,583
Well, I was engaged
when I was 21.

325
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,500
I dated this person
for 2 years.

326
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:43,583
So--and I had
a book and everything.

327
00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:45,167
I bought my own wedding dress.

328
00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:46,833
I was, like, ready to go.

329
00:17:46,917 --> 00:17:49,833
He also was a viewer of
porn. I ended up leaving

330
00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:51,833
that relationship.

331
00:17:51,833 --> 00:17:54,083
And I told him,
I said, "One day,

332
00:17:54,167 --> 00:17:57,333
I'm going to be that girl that
you look at all the time."

333
00:17:57,333 --> 00:17:59,042
Because it really,
it broke my heart.

334
00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:01,333
Actually, I would throw
the stuff in the dumpster,

335
00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:04,667
and it would end up
back in our apartment.

336
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,000
He was totally addicted to it.

337
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,875
And it didn't
matter what I said.

338
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,500
That was his property.

339
00:18:10,542 --> 00:18:12,542
I always just thought
there was something better.

340
00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:15,667
I always had this hope inside
that there was something better

341
00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:17,667
and that I would
find the right guy,

342
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:21,167
and I didn't really have
high expectations, just,

343
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:24,875
"Don't cheat on me, don't
look at porn, and stay."

344
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,667
That was it.

345
00:18:26,708 --> 00:18:30,875
Porn, theologically,
seven things.

346
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,750
Number one, porn makes someone
other than your spouse

347
00:18:33,833 --> 00:18:35,667
your standard of beauty.

348
00:18:35,750 --> 00:18:38,375
In the "Real Marriage" book,
Grace and I address this.

349
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,583
When God created our first
parents, Adam and Eve,

350
00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:42,167
he didn't give them a type.

351
00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:45,000
He gave them a spouse.

352
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,875
So, there was
one man, one woman.

353
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,042
Adam's standard
of beauty was Eve.

354
00:18:51,167 --> 00:18:53,542
Eve's standard
of beauty was Adam.

355
00:18:53,667 --> 00:18:55,167
That's it.

356
00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:58,500
Our standard of beauty is
supposed to be our spouse.

357
00:18:58,542 --> 00:19:01,083
Your spouse is tall, tall.

358
00:19:01,167 --> 00:19:03,542
Your spouse is short, short.

359
00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:06,667
When your spouse is 25, 25.

360
00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:09,667
When your spouse is 85, 85.

361
00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:12,500
If your spouse is
skinny, skinny.

362
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:17,583
If your spouse is no longer
skinny, no longer skinny.

363
00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:20,833
Your standard of
beauty is your spouse.

364
00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:26,375
And pornography exists to
present a menu of options,

365
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:29,833
none of which is your spouse.

366
00:19:29,917 --> 00:19:33,083
How did you get
into the industry?

367
00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:38,000
I found a modeling website,
and the girls and the guys

368
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,375
on the website that were models
didn't look like models.

369
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:43,667
So, then, I was like--looked
under their picture,

370
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,333
and it was saying, you know,

371
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:47,542
"So-and-so was so great
to work with.

372
00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:49,333
She's so enthusiastic--"
and all this stuff.

373
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:51,833
And I'm like, "Well, I
wonder if I could model."

374
00:19:51,833 --> 00:19:53,583
Because I always had,
like, self-esteem issues.

375
00:19:53,667 --> 00:19:56,500
So, I was never the pretty girl.

376
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:58,833
So, I put my pictures up.

377
00:19:58,833 --> 00:20:01,000
And then all of a sudden,
all these emails

378
00:20:01,042 --> 00:20:03,667
started coming through,
asking me to come shoot.

379
00:20:03,708 --> 00:20:06,667
The only thing is it was--
they all wanted, you know,

380
00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:09,375
me to do more than what
I was wanting to do.

381
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:14,000
So, I did work a regular job
during this whole time,

382
00:20:14,042 --> 00:20:16,042
like, for 5 years.

383
00:20:16,167 --> 00:20:23,083
But one day, I had a breakup,
and I hit rock bottom,

384
00:20:23,167 --> 00:20:25,542
and I contacted
one of the photographers

385
00:20:25,667 --> 00:20:29,500
who offered to shoot me,
to do a trade shoot.

386
00:20:29,542 --> 00:20:31,083
That means he gets the pictures.

387
00:20:31,167 --> 00:20:33,083
He can do whatever
he wants with them,

388
00:20:33,167 --> 00:20:35,333
and I can do whatever
I want with them.

389
00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:38,167
So, I would use them
to update my portfolio.

390
00:20:38,208 --> 00:20:40,667
So, his pictures were
beautiful, so I said,

391
00:20:40,708 --> 00:20:43,083
"Okay, I'll do a shoot
with you."

392
00:20:43,167 --> 00:20:45,583
So, that's how it started.

393
00:20:45,667 --> 00:20:47,667
And then
the next thing you know,

394
00:20:47,708 --> 00:20:51,667
I'm in a hotel room with this
man that I've never met before--

395
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,875
You don't have to go
into all the details,

396
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,583
but when that was over,
how did you feel?

397
00:20:57,667 --> 00:20:59,167
What did you do?

398
00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:01,833
I got--I sunk into
a depression, and I would just,

399
00:21:01,917 --> 00:21:03,875
like, wonder why
was I doing this?

400
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,542
But then the emails kept
coming, and they were, like,

401
00:21:06,667 --> 00:21:08,083
"You're so beautiful."

402
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:10,875
Like, and these are things
I've never heard before.

403
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:15,167
So, I just kept doing shoots,
and it just started from there,

404
00:21:15,250 --> 00:21:18,000
and the next thing you know,
I'm in Los Angeles doing

405
00:21:18,042 --> 00:21:22,000
a photo shoot and traveling from
Jacksonville to Los Angeles.

406
00:21:22,042 --> 00:21:25,167
And then I met a manager,

407
00:21:25,208 --> 00:21:29,833
and then he
managed my "career."

408
00:21:29,833 --> 00:21:31,667
So--

409
00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:34,333
Were there ever drugs
or alcohol involved?

410
00:21:34,333 --> 00:21:38,583
Well, for me,
I have seen it on sets.

411
00:21:38,667 --> 00:21:42,167
I never needed it,
because I disassociated.

412
00:21:42,208 --> 00:21:45,000
I learned that when
I was a little girl.

413
00:21:45,042 --> 00:21:47,042
So, you just kind
of--you feel like,

414
00:21:47,167 --> 00:21:48,667
you feel like you're floating.

415
00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:51,750
You feel like you're not really
there, and that's how I felt.

416
00:21:51,833 --> 00:21:57,000
So, I could totally just blur
everything out and do it.

417
00:21:57,042 --> 00:21:59,333
Porn is coveting.

418
00:21:59,417 --> 00:22:00,875
That's one
of the Ten Commandments.

419
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:06,083
Exodus 20:17, "Thou shalt not
covet thy neighbor's wife."

420
00:22:06,167 --> 00:22:08,750
You're not supposed to look
at someone else and think,

421
00:22:08,833 --> 00:22:11,375
"I wonder what it'd be
like to be with them."

422
00:22:11,500 --> 00:22:15,167
If you're not married to them,
you have no right to lust after

423
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:19,000
them, to fantasize after them,
and that includes pornography,

424
00:22:19,042 --> 00:22:22,583
because that's all pornography
exists for, to get you to covet,

425
00:22:22,667 --> 00:22:28,083
to want someone or something
that you do not have.

426
00:22:28,167 --> 00:22:30,833
I have lots of friends
who are still in the business.

427
00:22:30,833 --> 00:22:33,375
There's one girl, she's like
really big in the business.

428
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:36,750
And I walk up to her, and she's
like, "Don't make me cry."

429
00:22:36,833 --> 00:22:40,000
Because all of--I mean, well,
I can't say it's the same--

430
00:22:40,042 --> 00:22:42,000
it's not the same story
for everybody.

431
00:22:42,042 --> 00:22:45,750
We all have different stories,
but most of it comes from

432
00:22:45,833 --> 00:22:50,542
brokenness, and I can
say that for a fact.

433
00:22:52,250 --> 00:22:56,000
In pornography,
there is payment made.

434
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,000
Some of you actually are giving
money to this industry

435
00:22:59,042 --> 00:23:01,083
of slavery and death.

436
00:23:01,167 --> 00:23:07,333
Some of you are contributing
by visiting websites that will

437
00:23:07,333 --> 00:23:10,542
advertise free pornography,
but at the end of the day,

438
00:23:10,667 --> 00:23:12,833
they're sponsored
by advertisers,

439
00:23:12,833 --> 00:23:15,167
and so there's
payment, nonetheless.

440
00:23:15,208 --> 00:23:18,500
And I don't say that in
any way to denigrate men,

441
00:23:18,542 --> 00:23:20,875
women in the industry, whom
Jesus loves and wants

442
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:25,875
to deliver, and I'm not trying
to in any way disrespect them.

443
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,000
But I'm saying for those of you
who are consumers and purveyors

444
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:33,000
of porn, you're participating
in an industry

445
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,750
of abuse and assault.

446
00:23:36,833 --> 00:23:40,667
Some of what's made is
because of sex trafficking;

447
00:23:40,750 --> 00:23:43,250
some of the women who are
even in the industry

448
00:23:43,333 --> 00:23:45,500
in the US are often held
against their will,

449
00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:48,250
threatened, beaten, traumatized,

450
00:23:48,333 --> 00:23:52,083
because it's always
about the money.

451
00:23:52,167 --> 00:23:56,000
And even if you're not giving
your credit card number,

452
00:23:56,042 --> 00:24:00,500
by clicking on the site, you are
encouraging an advertiser

453
00:24:00,542 --> 00:24:03,833
to pay money, so that someone
might be assaulted

454
00:24:03,833 --> 00:24:07,833
and abused,
and you're complicit in that.

455
00:24:07,833 --> 00:24:12,250
Number six, porn is idolatry.

456
00:24:12,333 --> 00:24:15,583
1 Corinthians 10:7-8 says,

457
00:24:15,667 --> 00:24:19,000
"Do not be idolaters
as some of them were."

458
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,500
And looking back here, he's
speaking of an occasion

459
00:24:21,542 --> 00:24:24,042
in the history of Israel.

460
00:24:24,167 --> 00:24:27,042
"As it is written, 'The people
sat down to eat and drink

461
00:24:27,167 --> 00:24:29,167
and rose up to play.'"

462
00:24:29,250 --> 00:24:31,167
They ate too much,
they drank too much,

463
00:24:31,250 --> 00:24:35,500
and they decided that now it
would become a very wild night.

464
00:24:35,542 --> 00:24:39,583
"We must not indulge in sexual
immorality as some of them did,

465
00:24:39,667 --> 00:24:42,875
and twenty-three thousand
fell in a single day."

466
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,875
Paul is saying
to the church in Corinth,

467
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,000
which was an urban church
with young people

468
00:24:47,042 --> 00:24:49,000
and a very sexualized culture,

469
00:24:49,042 --> 00:24:52,500
that even had a temple filled
with prostitutes in town

470
00:24:52,542 --> 00:24:56,167
as part of illicit worship.

471
00:24:56,250 --> 00:24:59,375
I wonder if Paul would look
at strip clubs today and say,

472
00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:01,250
"Those are temples
to pagan gods."

473
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,833
It was like that.

474
00:25:03,917 --> 00:25:06,167
And he says they were
guilty of idolatry.

475
00:25:06,250 --> 00:25:07,667
And some of you say, "Idolatry?

476
00:25:07,750 --> 00:25:09,667
I don't even understand
what he's talking about."

477
00:25:09,750 --> 00:25:11,667
The Ten Commandments begin
with these two commandments.

478
00:25:11,750 --> 00:25:14,250
First of all, there's
one God; and, secondly,

479
00:25:14,333 --> 00:25:16,250
you're to worship
that God alone,

480
00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:18,875
and worship of anyone or
anything other than the God

481
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:20,833
of the Bible is idolatry.

482
00:25:20,917 --> 00:25:23,167
And here's the truth:
we're all worshipers.

483
00:25:23,250 --> 00:25:26,500
We are passionately giving
ourselves away to someone,

484
00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:31,167
to something, to a cause,
to a person, to an experience,

485
00:25:31,208 --> 00:25:34,500
to a pleasure,
to a pursuit, to a passion.

486
00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:36,375
We give ourselves away.

487
00:25:36,500 --> 00:25:38,542
We give our money,
our time, our energy.

488
00:25:38,667 --> 00:25:40,167
It's what we talk about.

489
00:25:40,250 --> 00:25:41,833
It's how our identity is formed.

490
00:25:41,833 --> 00:25:43,500
It's what we commit
ourselves to.

491
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:46,500
We're all worshipers,
Christians, atheists,

492
00:25:46,542 --> 00:25:49,333
those who are members
of other religions,

493
00:25:49,417 --> 00:25:51,667
all are worshipers.

494
00:25:51,750 --> 00:25:55,250
The only question is who
or what are you worshiping?

495
00:25:55,333 --> 00:25:57,000
And Paul in Romans 1,

496
00:25:57,042 --> 00:25:59,833
he makes this very interesting
distinction.

497
00:25:59,833 --> 00:26:01,667
He says--well,
the whole argument,

498
00:26:01,750 --> 00:26:04,250
from Romans 1:18 through
the remainder of the chapter,

499
00:26:04,333 --> 00:26:08,083
is all about idolatry
in regards to sexuality.

500
00:26:08,167 --> 00:26:12,167
But he says therein that "they
exchanged the truth of God

501
00:26:12,208 --> 00:26:15,167
for the lie and worshiped
and served created things

502
00:26:15,208 --> 00:26:18,167
rather than the Creator God,
who's forever praised! Amen."

503
00:26:18,250 --> 00:26:21,000
And he really subdivides
all of human history

504
00:26:21,042 --> 00:26:24,083
into two categories: those who
worship the Creator

505
00:26:24,167 --> 00:26:26,583
and enjoy and steward creation,

506
00:26:26,667 --> 00:26:31,000
and those who worship
the creation as god.

507
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,667
And some of you say,
"Well, how do they do that?"

508
00:26:33,750 --> 00:26:37,167
Paul goes on to say, through
all kinds of sexual sin.

509
00:26:37,250 --> 00:26:40,542
He talks about
heterosexual sexual sin,

510
00:26:40,667 --> 00:26:42,375
homosexual sexual sin.

511
00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:46,042
He even includes lesbianism,
the only expressed place

512
00:26:46,167 --> 00:26:50,000
in the New Testament
that addresses that issue.

513
00:26:50,042 --> 00:26:53,542
And what he's saying is if you
worship the creation instead

514
00:26:53,667 --> 00:26:59,750
of the Creator, you will find
yourself being sexually consumed

515
00:26:59,833 --> 00:27:05,375
with sinful passions, because
there's nothing more beautiful

516
00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:08,042
that God made than
the human body.

517
00:27:08,167 --> 00:27:11,042
There's nothing more pleasurable
that God has given us

518
00:27:11,167 --> 00:27:12,833
than the human body.

519
00:27:12,833 --> 00:27:14,667
And if you worship
created things,

520
00:27:14,750 --> 00:27:18,500
you will find yourself
becoming perverted.

521
00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:20,000
And make no mistake:

522
00:27:20,042 --> 00:27:22,667
Every time you see an image,
lust in your heart,

523
00:27:22,708 --> 00:27:28,000
go surfing on the Internet,
you're worshiping.

524
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,167
You're not worshiping
the Creator;

525
00:27:30,250 --> 00:27:36,875
you're worshiping
the created, and it's idolatry.

526
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,375
And the issue goes deeper than
just sexual orientation

527
00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:42,000
or preference.

528
00:27:42,042 --> 00:27:45,250
It goes down to
the root issue of idolatry.

529
00:27:45,333 --> 00:27:49,000
You can't simultaneously worship
Jesus Christ, the Creator God,

530
00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:51,500
and be into porn.

531
00:27:51,542 --> 00:27:54,375
You can't.

532
00:27:54,500 --> 00:27:58,667
You can't worship the Creator,
while worshiping the created.

533
00:27:58,708 --> 00:28:01,167
It's one or the other.

534
00:28:01,208 --> 00:28:04,833
So, for some of you, your
problem is not just behavioral.

535
00:28:04,833 --> 00:28:08,583
It's not that you just need
to change the way you act.

536
00:28:08,667 --> 00:28:12,542
You need to alter
the God you worship.

537
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,000
When we had spoken on
the phone a while back,

538
00:28:18,042 --> 00:28:22,833
you talked about one boyfriend
who was particularly dangerous,

539
00:28:22,917 --> 00:28:26,083
and he was in
the industry, as well.

540
00:28:26,167 --> 00:28:28,833
And some of the relationships,
then, it seems like

541
00:28:28,833 --> 00:28:34,083
they got even more
potentially deadly.

542
00:28:34,167 --> 00:28:36,542
We dated for 3 1/2 years.

543
00:28:36,667 --> 00:28:40,875
So, yeah, so he was
the one I worked with.

544
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,000
He was very abusive.

545
00:28:43,042 --> 00:28:45,667
He told me every day
he was going to put me

546
00:28:45,750 --> 00:28:47,375
6 feet in the ground.

547
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:49,042
He was going to kill me.

548
00:28:49,167 --> 00:28:54,000
He raped me all the time.

549
00:28:54,042 --> 00:28:56,833
He went--he was
addicted to pornography.

550
00:28:56,833 --> 00:28:58,583
He watched it all the time.

551
00:28:58,667 --> 00:29:00,083
He watched it at night.

552
00:29:00,167 --> 00:29:03,500
I would wake up, and he would be
down the hallway looking at it.

553
00:29:03,542 --> 00:29:06,000
I would open the door
and, like, scream at him,

554
00:29:06,042 --> 00:29:09,000
and it didn't, you know, I
didn't, I still didn't like it,

555
00:29:09,042 --> 00:29:10,500
even though I was in it.

556
00:29:10,542 --> 00:29:13,000
How many years were
you with him or how long?

557
00:29:13,042 --> 00:29:14,375
Three and a half years.

558
00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:16,750
And in an average week,
as things got worse,

559
00:29:16,833 --> 00:29:18,750
how often do you
think you were raped?

560
00:29:18,833 --> 00:29:21,500
He was always--
it was always like that.

561
00:29:21,500 --> 00:29:23,167
Every week or every day?

562
00:29:23,250 --> 00:29:25,875
I would say, "I don't
want to, I don't want to,

563
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:27,333
I don't want to."

564
00:29:27,333 --> 00:29:29,042
He was, like,
"Come on, come on."

565
00:29:29,167 --> 00:29:30,833
And then I would just give up.

566
00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:33,500
And then, you know, and then I
would be like--cry afterwards.

567
00:29:33,542 --> 00:29:37,333
And the thing was, he knew I
wasn't on birth control pills,

568
00:29:37,333 --> 00:29:40,333
and I would tell him,
in the midst of it,

569
00:29:40,417 --> 00:29:42,500
but he kept
getting me pregnant.

570
00:29:42,542 --> 00:29:48,167
And so I had multiple abortions,
and I don't even know how many.

571
00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:56,000
As a dad, this is
really hard to hear.

572
00:29:56,042 --> 00:29:59,500
So, I'm real sorry, but I
appreciate your honesty

573
00:29:59,542 --> 00:30:03,000
and your bravery, because I
think sometimes people think,

574
00:30:03,042 --> 00:30:05,375
"Oh, she's beautiful.
She's in a mansion.

575
00:30:05,500 --> 00:30:07,375
She's smiling."

576
00:30:07,500 --> 00:30:09,333
That's not reality.

577
00:30:09,333 --> 00:30:13,250
Porn, emotionally.

578
00:30:16,333 --> 00:30:18,083
We've talked about
the definitions,

579
00:30:18,167 --> 00:30:19,875
and the statistics,

580
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,000
and the biochemistry,
and the theology.

581
00:30:23,042 --> 00:30:29,083
Porn, emotionally, number one,
porn breaks the heart of God.

582
00:30:29,167 --> 00:30:33,000
It breaks the heart of God.

583
00:30:33,042 --> 00:30:36,333
The Bible says that
God is a Father.

584
00:30:36,417 --> 00:30:37,750
I'm a father.

585
00:30:37,833 --> 00:30:41,500
I've got a 14-year-old daughter
and an 8-year-old daughter.

586
00:30:41,542 --> 00:30:44,000
And if they were treated
the way women are treated

587
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:48,083
in the industry, I would not
just have a clinical response.

588
00:30:48,167 --> 00:30:51,667
I would have a deeply
emotional response.

589
00:30:51,708 --> 00:30:53,833
I would be destroyed.

590
00:30:53,833 --> 00:30:56,583
I would be devastated.

591
00:30:56,667 --> 00:31:02,083
God is a Father who made us
in his image and likeness.

592
00:31:02,167 --> 00:31:06,333
He created us with dignity,
value, worth, and purpose.

593
00:31:06,333 --> 00:31:12,667
When we act like animals, and
we treat one another shamefully,

594
00:31:12,708 --> 00:31:15,000
it doesn't just break
the laws of God;

595
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,667
it breaks the heart of God.

596
00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:19,333
And, see, that's what sin is.

597
00:31:19,417 --> 00:31:21,542
Sin is the breaking
of the laws of God,

598
00:31:21,667 --> 00:31:23,000
that's what 1 John says,

599
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,000
but it's also
breaking the heart of God.

600
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:26,333
That's what Genesis says.

601
00:31:26,417 --> 00:31:29,333
It says in one particular season
where human sin on the earth

602
00:31:29,417 --> 00:31:32,333
was so intense, it says that God
was grieved in his heart

603
00:31:32,417 --> 00:31:36,667
that he made man.

604
00:31:38,917 --> 00:31:41,667
Porn hurts marriages.

605
00:31:41,708 --> 00:31:44,375
The Bible says that
God made the man.

606
00:31:44,500 --> 00:31:45,833
God made the woman.

607
00:31:45,833 --> 00:31:48,833
God brought them together so
that they could be one flesh,

608
00:31:48,833 --> 00:31:53,000
one, and they were
naked, without shame.

609
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,333
That's God's intent
for marriage.

610
00:31:56,417 --> 00:32:00,250
Pornography is not oneness
between a husband and wife,

611
00:32:00,333 --> 00:32:02,583
because it's including others.

612
00:32:02,667 --> 00:32:06,000
And it's not nakedness
without shame.

613
00:32:06,042 --> 00:32:12,167
In fact, it is using shame
to make something God created

614
00:32:12,250 --> 00:32:17,667
beautiful, dark and despicable.

615
00:32:17,750 --> 00:32:22,000
And sometimes the pleasure that
is associated with it from sin

616
00:32:22,042 --> 00:32:25,667
is particularly intense, because
there's an adrenaline rush

617
00:32:25,708 --> 00:32:30,333
from disobedience,
and defiance, and sin.

618
00:32:32,542 --> 00:32:35,042
It harms marriage.

619
00:32:35,167 --> 00:32:37,833
And some of you who are married,
you have excuses like,

620
00:32:37,833 --> 00:32:39,583
"Well, our intimacy
is not great,

621
00:32:39,667 --> 00:32:41,667
"and so I do that on the side,

622
00:32:41,750 --> 00:32:43,375
but it keeps me
from committing adultery."

623
00:32:43,500 --> 00:32:45,042
Jesus says you're already
committing adultery

624
00:32:45,167 --> 00:32:47,583
in your heart.

625
00:32:47,667 --> 00:32:51,542
Some of you say, "Well, we don't
know what to do, so we watch it,

626
00:32:51,667 --> 00:32:53,542
and then we imitate it."

627
00:32:53,667 --> 00:32:56,000
Now, that's adultery
of the heart.

628
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,833
That's lust.

629
00:32:57,833 --> 00:33:01,500
That's sexual immorality.

630
00:33:06,417 --> 00:33:11,042
The excuses that people
give are unbelievable.

631
00:33:11,167 --> 00:33:14,833
Some of you may wonder,
"Why is it, in our marriage,

632
00:33:14,833 --> 00:33:17,583
we're not close, or I don't
feel like I know you?"

633
00:33:17,667 --> 00:33:21,000
This may be
your spouse's secret.

634
00:33:21,042 --> 00:33:25,333
They may have a secret life--

635
00:33:25,333 --> 00:33:27,833
probably through technology,

636
00:33:27,917 --> 00:33:30,667
maybe even involving
other people--

637
00:33:30,750 --> 00:33:35,167
that you don't even know about.

638
00:33:35,250 --> 00:33:37,875
There's nothing good that
pornography can do

639
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,833
for a marriage, nothing.

640
00:33:39,917 --> 00:33:42,500
It's amazing, as Grace and I
have done media interviews,

641
00:33:42,542 --> 00:33:46,167
recently, we've had multiple
non-Christian media outlets just

642
00:33:46,208 --> 00:33:48,833
flat out ask, "Are you saying
porn doesn't help a marriage?

643
00:33:48,917 --> 00:33:51,500
There's nothing good that can
come from porn for a marriage?"

644
00:33:51,542 --> 00:33:55,875
That's exactly
what we're saying.

645
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,167
And deep in your heart,
particularly if you are

646
00:33:58,250 --> 00:34:01,000
a Christian, you know this.

647
00:34:01,042 --> 00:34:03,833
All right, if some guy
wanted to marry my daughter,

648
00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:05,583
and I asked him,
"What's your plan?"

649
00:34:05,667 --> 00:34:08,875
and his plan was, "I'm going
to look at a lot of porn,

650
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,667
so I could be close
to your daughter,"

651
00:34:11,750 --> 00:34:18,500
the obvious answer is, "You
can't come near my daughter."

652
00:34:18,500 --> 00:34:21,000
See, sometimes,
when we're sinners,

653
00:34:21,042 --> 00:34:24,333
when we think of what we want,
we find a way to rationalize,

654
00:34:24,333 --> 00:34:26,167
justify, and excuse
our behavior.

655
00:34:26,250 --> 00:34:29,167
Start thinking it from the
perspective of someone you know,

656
00:34:29,250 --> 00:34:32,083
someone you love--brother,
sister, friend, son,

657
00:34:32,167 --> 00:34:36,000
daughter--and ask, "Is that
what I would want for them?

658
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,083
"Is that how I
would counsel them?

659
00:34:38,167 --> 00:34:39,875
No."

660
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:45,500
Then take that
counsel for yourself.

661
00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:48,375
Porn hurts the viewer
or the viewers.

662
00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:51,083
It's just like
cocaine or heroin.

663
00:34:51,167 --> 00:34:56,250
The whole point is
get you addicted,

664
00:34:56,333 --> 00:35:00,583
so that you can give
your money to someone else.

665
00:35:00,667 --> 00:35:03,000
That's it.

666
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,500
It's all about the money.

667
00:35:04,542 --> 00:35:06,167
It's always about the money.

668
00:35:06,250 --> 00:35:08,750
It's only about the money.

669
00:35:08,833 --> 00:35:12,250
The entire industry exists to
make you an addict and to take

670
00:35:12,333 --> 00:35:17,667
as much money from
you as possible,

671
00:35:17,708 --> 00:35:21,167
to get you to buy things, to
get you to click on websites,

672
00:35:21,250 --> 00:35:23,750
to get advertisers to
write large checks.

673
00:35:23,833 --> 00:35:27,500
Don't be fooled.

674
00:35:29,917 --> 00:35:33,542
Porn hurts women.

675
00:35:33,667 --> 00:35:36,667
The guy who watches porn and
then pressures his girlfriend

676
00:35:36,708 --> 00:35:41,583
or wife to do things that he's
seen, that harms the woman.

677
00:35:41,667 --> 00:35:44,000
I mean, in the industry,
women's bodies are pushed

678
00:35:44,042 --> 00:35:47,750
beyond the limits of what they
can even handle physically.

679
00:35:47,833 --> 00:35:49,500
Women are harmed.

680
00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:52,167
If you think, "I want
to do that to my woman,"

681
00:35:52,250 --> 00:35:53,583
you want to harm her?

682
00:35:53,667 --> 00:35:55,583
You want to abuse her?

683
00:35:55,667 --> 00:36:00,333
You want to break her?

684
00:36:00,333 --> 00:36:04,500
And sometimes women who are
enabling, they'll watch.

685
00:36:04,542 --> 00:36:06,167
They become addicted.

686
00:36:06,250 --> 00:36:12,500
Sometimes they become
as aggressive as the men.

687
00:36:12,500 --> 00:36:15,542
The result is now we
live in a rape culture.

688
00:36:15,667 --> 00:36:18,167
I mean, one in four women
is sexually assaulted,

689
00:36:18,208 --> 00:36:20,250
raped at some point
in their life.

690
00:36:20,333 --> 00:36:22,500
For those who are of
younger generations,

691
00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:24,500
the statistics may
even be higher,

692
00:36:24,542 --> 00:36:29,500
maybe even one out of three in
a church like the one I pastor.

693
00:36:29,500 --> 00:36:32,500
The same is true for
one in six men, as well,

694
00:36:32,500 --> 00:36:36,667
sexually assaulted at some
point in their lifetime.

695
00:36:36,750 --> 00:36:38,500
And it's getting younger.

696
00:36:38,542 --> 00:36:41,167
There was even a news story
that was out this week

697
00:36:41,208 --> 00:36:47,208
that says children are now
raping children.

698
00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:54,333
It hurts the women
in the industry.

699
00:36:54,417 --> 00:36:58,000
It hurts others outside
of the industry,

700
00:36:58,042 --> 00:37:02,000
who mimic the behavior of those
who are being harmed

701
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,667
in the industry.

702
00:37:04,750 --> 00:37:06,583
See, make no mistake.

703
00:37:06,667 --> 00:37:08,583
When they say, "Oh, it's
two consenting adults,

704
00:37:08,667 --> 00:37:10,333
"and, you know, the gal's happy.

705
00:37:10,333 --> 00:37:12,583
"Look, she's smiling,
and she wants to do it.

706
00:37:12,667 --> 00:37:14,375
And who are we to judge?"

707
00:37:14,500 --> 00:37:16,500
No.

708
00:37:16,542 --> 00:37:19,167
Oftentimes, those women were
molested as children

709
00:37:19,250 --> 00:37:23,042
or sexually assaulted
by a boyfriend.

710
00:37:23,167 --> 00:37:25,833
They oftentimes self-medicate
with drugs or alcohol

711
00:37:25,833 --> 00:37:29,583
before they go in for a filming.

712
00:37:29,667 --> 00:37:32,000
Oftentimes, they're suicidal.

713
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,667
They try and take
their own life.

714
00:37:33,750 --> 00:37:36,083
They go into deep, dark
seasons of depression.

715
00:37:36,167 --> 00:37:38,500
They have blackouts where
sometimes they can't remember

716
00:37:38,500 --> 00:37:41,667
whole days of their life, as
they're psychologically trying

717
00:37:41,750 --> 00:37:45,167
to endure the trauma.

718
00:37:45,250 --> 00:37:48,375
It hurts people.

719
00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:51,875
And I just fell on
the floor and just cried,

720
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:56,375
because the porn industry
had been a part of

721
00:37:56,500 --> 00:37:59,083
every relationship
that I was in,

722
00:37:59,167 --> 00:38:02,667
and there was numerous men
that I've lived with.

723
00:38:02,750 --> 00:38:07,375
And, also, I was in it, and I
was, like, so, like, confused.

724
00:38:07,500 --> 00:38:09,083
Like, what am I going to do?

725
00:38:09,167 --> 00:38:11,083
This is, like--
This is all you know.

726
00:38:11,167 --> 00:38:12,833
This is all
that I know, yeah.

727
00:38:12,917 --> 00:38:15,167
So, I fell to the ground,
and I said,

728
00:38:15,250 --> 00:38:17,833
"God, if you're real,
I need you to tell me.

729
00:38:17,833 --> 00:38:19,250
"I need a sign.

730
00:38:19,333 --> 00:38:21,000
"I need you to let me know,

731
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,542
"because everything I know
about love is not right.

732
00:38:23,667 --> 00:38:26,667
"And I need to feel
you in my life,

733
00:38:26,750 --> 00:38:29,875
because I haven't felt you
there since I was 11 years old."

734
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,583
And I was just--
I stayed on the floor.

735
00:38:32,667 --> 00:38:34,333
I don't even know how long.

736
00:38:34,417 --> 00:38:36,542
The next day, boyfriend calls.

737
00:38:36,667 --> 00:38:38,833
He's like, "Do you
want to come out here?"

738
00:38:38,833 --> 00:38:40,875
He was in Albuquerque.

739
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:44,875
So, I went out there,
and the next day he asked me

740
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:48,000
if I wanted to go on the set
and just hang out.

741
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,250
And I was like,
"Yeah, that would be cool."

742
00:38:50,333 --> 00:38:54,000
So, I went, and we were--I was
sitting in a group of people in,

743
00:38:54,042 --> 00:38:55,667
like, chairs.

744
00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:58,167
There was, like,
seven guys around me, no girls.

745
00:38:58,208 --> 00:39:00,333
And one of the guys,
the director's son,

746
00:39:00,333 --> 00:39:02,167
got something on his cell phone,

747
00:39:02,250 --> 00:39:04,500
and he started showing it
to everybody.

748
00:39:04,542 --> 00:39:08,000
And my boyfriend saw it.

749
00:39:08,042 --> 00:39:10,000
I said, "What was that?"

750
00:39:10,042 --> 00:39:13,375
He goes, "Oh, it's
so-and-so's wife.

751
00:39:13,500 --> 00:39:15,167
She's topless."

752
00:39:15,250 --> 00:39:17,750
And I was, like--I got so
angry, and I said,

753
00:39:17,833 --> 00:39:20,500
"Well, I would hope
that my husband

754
00:39:20,542 --> 00:39:23,000
would never show pictures of me
like that."

755
00:39:23,042 --> 00:39:25,667
And I knew that he had--he
emailed pictures of me around

756
00:39:25,750 --> 00:39:28,667
to all his friends all the time,
but there was just something

757
00:39:28,708 --> 00:39:31,000
in me that knew that there
was something better.

758
00:39:31,042 --> 00:39:34,000
And I said, "I hope that my
husband would not show pictures

759
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:35,667
like that to anybody."

760
00:39:35,750 --> 00:39:38,500
And then the guy sitting
to my right goes,

761
00:39:38,542 --> 00:39:41,000
"I wouldn't show that to anyone.

762
00:39:41,042 --> 00:39:43,083
That would be only for me."

763
00:39:43,167 --> 00:39:45,833
And I was, like, "What?"

764
00:39:45,833 --> 00:39:47,375
I was in shock.

765
00:39:47,500 --> 00:39:50,500
I'd never heard a guy say
something that respectful.

766
00:39:50,542 --> 00:39:52,375
I couldn't stop
thinking about it.

767
00:39:52,500 --> 00:39:54,583
And, anyway, they went to do
the--he was doing

768
00:39:54,667 --> 00:39:56,000
his acting thing.

769
00:39:56,042 --> 00:39:58,000
And I was sitting
there with this guy.

770
00:39:58,042 --> 00:39:59,375
His name is Chris.

771
00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:02,375
And Chris says, "So, tell me
what you do for a living."

772
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:05,375
And I said, "I do modeling."

773
00:40:05,500 --> 00:40:07,333
He's like,
"What kind of modeling?"

774
00:40:07,333 --> 00:40:12,000
I'm like, you know, "Bikini
stuff, calendars, Bud Light."

775
00:40:12,042 --> 00:40:14,583
And so he kept asking
me and asking me.

776
00:40:14,667 --> 00:40:17,333
And finally I said,
"Okay, I'm in the business.

777
00:40:17,333 --> 00:40:19,333
I'm in the porn business."

778
00:40:19,333 --> 00:40:21,333
And then he's like,
"I already knew that."

779
00:40:21,333 --> 00:40:23,375
And then I said,
"How did you know?"

780
00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:25,500
And he goes, "Your boyfriend
already told everybody

781
00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:29,833
before you ever got here,
and he showed your pictures."

782
00:40:29,833 --> 00:40:32,333
And I was just like--
I put my head down.

783
00:40:32,333 --> 00:40:35,833
I felt so ashamed
and embarrassed and like--

784
00:40:35,917 --> 00:40:38,000
because I'm sitting here
speaking out against something,

785
00:40:38,042 --> 00:40:40,000
and he's showing
it to everybody.

786
00:40:40,042 --> 00:40:46,167
I put my head down,
and Chris goes,

787
00:40:46,208 --> 00:40:48,042
"Let me ask you something.

788
00:40:48,167 --> 00:40:51,000
Do you believe in Jesus?"

789
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:54,167
I was, like, "That's the sign."

790
00:40:54,208 --> 00:40:57,500
I was, like, "Yes, I do!"

791
00:40:57,542 --> 00:41:00,667
And then, immediately, he asked
my boyfriend if he could take me

792
00:41:00,750 --> 00:41:02,333
outside to pray.

793
00:41:02,417 --> 00:41:05,500
And my boyfriend
was, like, "What?"

794
00:41:05,542 --> 00:41:08,750
And he couldn't say no, because
he would look like a jerk.

795
00:41:08,833 --> 00:41:10,333
So--

796
00:41:10,417 --> 00:41:13,000
We went outside,
and we prayed, and I cried,

797
00:41:13,042 --> 00:41:15,250
and I confessed,
and I turned away.

798
00:41:15,333 --> 00:41:18,333
Later that night, when my
boyfriend was there, he was,

799
00:41:18,333 --> 00:41:21,000
like, he goes, "What
were you praying about?"

800
00:41:21,042 --> 00:41:24,000
I'm like, "Oh, I just accepted
the Lord back into my heart

801
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,583
and rededicated my life."

802
00:41:26,667 --> 00:41:29,250
He goes, "Oh, okay."

803
00:41:29,333 --> 00:41:31,583
And I'm like, "You know
what that means, right?

804
00:41:31,667 --> 00:41:33,833
Like, we can't live together."

805
00:41:33,917 --> 00:41:37,042
And he was like, "Well, what are
you going to--how are you going

806
00:41:37,167 --> 00:41:38,500
to make money?"

807
00:41:38,500 --> 00:41:40,667
I said, "I don't know.
I have no idea."

808
00:41:40,708 --> 00:41:42,375
He goes, "You don't
have anything planned?"

809
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:43,875
I'm like, "No, I don't."

810
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:49,500
I said, "But I know, from
even just my childhood faith,

811
00:41:49,542 --> 00:41:54,542
"that this was something
that God was going to--

812
00:41:54,667 --> 00:41:57,333
he was going to provide for me."

813
00:41:57,417 --> 00:42:00,167
Porn hurts daughters.

814
00:42:00,208 --> 00:42:04,875
If you're a guy looking at
porn, and you've already got

815
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,500
a daughter, there's a crisis.

816
00:42:07,542 --> 00:42:10,833
If you're a single man who
hopes to have a daughter,

817
00:42:10,917 --> 00:42:13,333
there will be a crisis.

818
00:42:13,417 --> 00:42:15,667
Because what's happened now
with pornography--the laws

819
00:42:15,708 --> 00:42:17,333
were changed a few years ago.

820
00:42:17,333 --> 00:42:19,375
Child pornography
is still illegal,

821
00:42:19,500 --> 00:42:21,667
but available and popular
because of the Internet.

822
00:42:21,750 --> 00:42:25,000
And so those who are into
pornography oftentimes

823
00:42:25,042 --> 00:42:27,333
will end up getting
so far down the road

824
00:42:27,333 --> 00:42:29,833
that they're interested
in child pornography.

825
00:42:29,833 --> 00:42:31,833
And if it's not child
pornography, it'll be,

826
00:42:31,917 --> 00:42:35,083
quote/unquote,
"barely legal porn."

827
00:42:35,167 --> 00:42:41,333
And a court case not long ago
said that it's still illegal

828
00:42:41,333 --> 00:42:44,000
to have a child in pornography,

829
00:42:44,042 --> 00:42:46,500
but not an adult
who looks like a child

830
00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:49,167
and is presented
as a child.

831
00:42:49,208 --> 00:42:53,333
So, you take women who are
barely legal--pigtails,

832
00:42:53,333 --> 00:42:55,833
lollipops, school girl outfit,
dress her up like

833
00:42:55,917 --> 00:42:59,833
a little girl--and then
put her in a porno.

834
00:42:59,917 --> 00:43:02,167
Now, if you're
a guy who's into that,

835
00:43:02,250 --> 00:43:04,375
what do you think happens
when your daughter

836
00:43:04,500 --> 00:43:06,667
hits her teen years?

837
00:43:06,750 --> 00:43:11,000
All of a sudden, she looks
like what you're addicted to.

838
00:43:11,042 --> 00:43:14,500
Do you think that affects your
emotional connection with her?

839
00:43:14,500 --> 00:43:16,000
Do you think you'll
feel uncomfortable

840
00:43:16,042 --> 00:43:17,833
sitting next to her
on the couch,

841
00:43:17,833 --> 00:43:20,833
because you're lusting
after your own daughter?

842
00:43:20,833 --> 00:43:25,000
Do you think that'll affect
your affection for her?

843
00:43:25,042 --> 00:43:27,375
Do you think you'll give
her a hug appropriately,

844
00:43:27,500 --> 00:43:30,375
give her a kiss on the head,
tell her you love her,

845
00:43:30,500 --> 00:43:33,083
take her out on a daddy date,
encourage her, love her,

846
00:43:33,167 --> 00:43:34,500
enjoy her, invest in her?

847
00:43:34,542 --> 00:43:38,000
No, you can't.

848
00:43:38,042 --> 00:43:42,583
This first hit me when I
was working longshore.

849
00:43:42,667 --> 00:43:46,000
I grew up in a rough
neighborhood behind strip clubs,

850
00:43:46,042 --> 00:43:49,375
where Ted Bundy
and the Green River Killer

851
00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:53,083
picked up many of their
prostitutes and victims.

852
00:43:53,167 --> 00:43:56,500
Some of the strip clubs
and hourly-rate massage parlors

853
00:43:56,542 --> 00:44:00,167
had women that I knew,
and had gone to school with,

854
00:44:00,208 --> 00:44:03,083
as employees.

855
00:44:03,167 --> 00:44:06,333
Pornography at that time
wasn't on the Internet,

856
00:44:06,333 --> 00:44:08,667
but it was available
in magazines, and movies,

857
00:44:08,750 --> 00:44:11,000
and the like.

858
00:44:11,042 --> 00:44:13,333
And I was working
a job as a longshoreman.

859
00:44:13,333 --> 00:44:15,500
I lied about my age, falsified
my birth certificate

860
00:44:15,542 --> 00:44:17,667
as a teenager,
so I could make some money

861
00:44:17,750 --> 00:44:19,167
while in high school.

862
00:44:19,208 --> 00:44:22,000
I was working down off
the docks in Seattle,

863
00:44:22,042 --> 00:44:26,833
and this was a workplace that
was completely unfit for anyone,

864
00:44:26,917 --> 00:44:28,875
but especially a woman.

865
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,583
The break room
had porn everywhere.

866
00:44:31,667 --> 00:44:34,542
The guys would just come
and eat lunch and look at porn.

867
00:44:34,667 --> 00:44:36,000
Porn in the bathroom,

868
00:44:36,042 --> 00:44:37,833
I mean, just saturated
the whole environment.

869
00:44:37,833 --> 00:44:40,542
And I was sitting in a can,
it's a shipping container,

870
00:44:40,667 --> 00:44:42,375
with an older guy.

871
00:44:42,500 --> 00:44:45,083
And I think it was on a Friday,
and we're unloading

872
00:44:45,167 --> 00:44:47,083
whatever the cargo was.

873
00:44:47,167 --> 00:44:48,833
And I'll never forget
the conversation,

874
00:44:48,833 --> 00:44:51,333
because I was, I don't
know, maybe 16, 17, 18,

875
00:44:51,333 --> 00:44:53,375
something like that.

876
00:44:53,500 --> 00:44:55,875
And I said, "Well, what are
you doing this weekend?"

877
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:57,375
He said, "Oh, man, it's Friday.

878
00:44:57,500 --> 00:44:59,375
I'm so excited
to get out of here.

879
00:44:59,500 --> 00:45:01,500
"Friday is
the best day of the week.

880
00:45:01,500 --> 00:45:02,833
I love Friday."

881
00:45:02,917 --> 00:45:04,250
"Why is that?"

882
00:45:04,333 --> 00:45:06,000
He said something to
the effect of,

883
00:45:06,042 --> 00:45:07,500
"Man, I've got
this teenage daughter.

884
00:45:07,542 --> 00:45:10,000
"She's really hot, and she
has some really hot friends.

885
00:45:10,042 --> 00:45:13,000
"And on Friday night, they all
come over for slumber parties.

886
00:45:13,042 --> 00:45:15,667
"And I just sit in my
chair, and I drink beer,

887
00:45:15,750 --> 00:45:18,042
"and I watch them run
around in their pajamas

888
00:45:18,167 --> 00:45:19,542
"and have pillow fights,

889
00:45:19,667 --> 00:45:24,667
and it's like having
free porn at my house."

890
00:45:27,333 --> 00:45:30,042
Don't be that guy.

891
00:45:33,833 --> 00:45:38,083
And if that's what you're
into, you're that guy,

892
00:45:38,167 --> 00:45:42,583
or you will be that guy,

893
00:45:42,667 --> 00:45:46,333
but don't be that guy.

894
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:56,000
I've talked to so many women who
ended up with the wrong guy,

895
00:45:56,042 --> 00:45:58,875
got battered,
got assaulted, got abused.

896
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:00,500
"What happened to your dad?"

897
00:46:00,542 --> 00:46:04,167
"Well, we were close, but then
as soon as I hit my teen years,

898
00:46:04,250 --> 00:46:06,875
"and I started to go from
little girl to young woman,

899
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,333
"he stopped talking to me.

900
00:46:09,333 --> 00:46:11,667
"He wouldn't hug me anymore.

901
00:46:11,708 --> 00:46:14,083
He just avoided me."

902
00:46:14,167 --> 00:46:17,667
Ah, he was that guy.

903
00:46:17,708 --> 00:46:21,083
And then a boy came in and tried
to fill the gap of longing

904
00:46:21,167 --> 00:46:24,333
and need, and tried to be
the man in your life,

905
00:46:24,333 --> 00:46:27,667
and that man happened
to be your abuser,

906
00:46:27,750 --> 00:46:32,333
because your father
wasn't your protector.

907
00:46:32,417 --> 00:46:34,583
For you single guys,
I'll tell you,

908
00:46:34,667 --> 00:46:38,250
everything looks different
once you have a daughter.

909
00:46:38,333 --> 00:46:40,833
Everything looks different
once you have a daughter,

910
00:46:40,917 --> 00:46:47,500
and daughters are a gift that
God gives a man to change him

911
00:46:47,500 --> 00:46:51,750
in every way
at the deepest level.

912
00:46:52,750 --> 00:46:55,333
I ended up leaving
the boyfriend,

913
00:46:55,417 --> 00:46:59,667
and I flew to Virginia, where
my friend, Chris, is from,

914
00:46:59,708 --> 00:47:01,667
to stay with his family.

915
00:47:01,750 --> 00:47:03,583
Were they a Christian
family and supportive?

916
00:47:03,667 --> 00:47:06,833
Yes, they are Christians,
and they were so amazing,

917
00:47:06,833 --> 00:47:10,042
and they just really
helped me a lot, like,

918
00:47:10,167 --> 00:47:15,833
just to get away from
everything and focus on God.

919
00:47:15,917 --> 00:47:19,333
And then I had a therapist--
two therapists I met with

920
00:47:19,333 --> 00:47:21,167
while I was there, too.

921
00:47:21,208 --> 00:47:24,833
So--and when I came back, I
was, like, "Uh-oh, now what?"

922
00:47:24,833 --> 00:47:27,667
What condition were you in
emotionally and psychologically

923
00:47:27,708 --> 00:47:29,583
at that point?

924
00:47:29,667 --> 00:47:32,833
I was sharing my story on
MySpace when I first left,

925
00:47:32,917 --> 00:47:36,500
and, actually, before I even,
I mean, right when I left,

926
00:47:36,542 --> 00:47:38,750
I posted something on MySpace.

927
00:47:38,833 --> 00:47:40,833
I just started it,
because my friend, Chris,

928
00:47:40,917 --> 00:47:42,500
said I should do it.

929
00:47:42,542 --> 00:47:44,542
And I posted
that I left the business.

930
00:47:44,667 --> 00:47:47,083
And then, all of a sudden,
my webmasters found out,

931
00:47:47,167 --> 00:47:48,500
and they were so mad.

932
00:47:48,542 --> 00:47:50,667
They were like,
"Why didn't you tell me?"

933
00:47:50,750 --> 00:47:54,500
Like, and I asked them to take
my stuff down, and they said no,

934
00:47:54,542 --> 00:47:56,875
that I was in a contract.

935
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,875
And then I've talked to multiple
lawyers, and nobody,

936
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:03,833
I mean, nobody feels sorry
for the porn star.

937
00:48:03,833 --> 00:48:07,875
You know, we kind of made our
own choices and decisions.

938
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,500
Well, you've really tried
to get that stuff down.

939
00:48:10,500 --> 00:48:12,500
Yeah, I have.

940
00:48:12,542 --> 00:48:15,833
I've talked to several
lawyers, and I don't know,

941
00:48:15,917 --> 00:48:20,042
they just don't, they want me
to--I can't pay money.

942
00:48:20,167 --> 00:48:22,250
I mean, like, I can't
afford to do it.

943
00:48:22,333 --> 00:48:25,083
So, it's kind of like
if you--if you're planning on

944
00:48:25,167 --> 00:48:29,167
doing porn, I mean, I highly
wouldn't recommend it,

945
00:48:29,250 --> 00:48:31,500
but it's never--

946
00:48:31,542 --> 00:48:33,583
It's never going to go away.

947
00:48:33,667 --> 00:48:35,375
It's always going to be there.

948
00:48:35,500 --> 00:48:39,833
Porn hurts children.

949
00:48:39,833 --> 00:48:43,833
Ninety percent of children,
kids ages 8 to 16,

950
00:48:43,833 --> 00:48:47,167
have viewed Internet porn,
most accidentally.

951
00:48:47,250 --> 00:48:50,083
How old do you think the average
person is when they see

952
00:48:50,167 --> 00:48:52,000
their first online porn?

953
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:53,875
Eleven.

954
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,000
I talk to Christian parents
all the time.

955
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,833
They're like, "I don't want
my kids to hear about this."

956
00:48:58,833 --> 00:49:01,333
Well, you should ask them
if they've already seen it,

957
00:49:01,333 --> 00:49:03,333
because if they're 11,
odds are they have.

958
00:49:03,417 --> 00:49:06,542
Who's the number one consumer
of online pornography?

959
00:49:06,667 --> 00:49:09,833
All the porn on the Internet,
who's clicking the most?

960
00:49:09,833 --> 00:49:12,083
Twelve- to
seventeen-year-old boys,

961
00:49:12,167 --> 00:49:14,000
twelve- to
seventeen-year-old boys.

962
00:49:14,042 --> 00:49:16,375
The average boy doesn't even hit
puberty 'til

963
00:49:16,500 --> 00:49:19,000
he's 13-plus years of age.

964
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:22,000
That means he is into
pornography before he's even

965
00:49:22,042 --> 00:49:25,000
biologically
approaching manhood.

966
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,667
Do you think that affects
the ways that he sees women

967
00:49:27,750 --> 00:49:29,167
or treats girls?

968
00:49:29,250 --> 00:49:31,375
Yeah.

969
00:49:31,500 --> 00:49:33,833
See, the average person doesn't
lose their virginity until,

970
00:49:33,917 --> 00:49:36,833
I think it's 16.4 years of age.

971
00:49:36,917 --> 00:49:39,875
That means the average guy
today is spending 4 or 5 years,

972
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:43,375
who knows how many
hundreds of hours online,

973
00:49:43,500 --> 00:49:47,667
deep, deep down the porn path,

974
00:49:47,708 --> 00:49:50,500
and then he finally sleeps
with a girl.

975
00:49:50,542 --> 00:49:54,500
And then it's going to be
another decade-plus--maybe 28 is

976
00:49:54,500 --> 00:49:57,250
the average age for marriage.

977
00:49:57,333 --> 00:50:00,167
That means the average
guy, from 12 to 28,

978
00:50:00,250 --> 00:50:05,042
is probably statistically,
practically a porn addict,

979
00:50:05,167 --> 00:50:09,333
and then he gets a wife.

980
00:50:09,333 --> 00:50:12,042
It hurts children.

981
00:50:12,167 --> 00:50:14,250
It re-hardwires their brain.

982
00:50:14,333 --> 00:50:17,333
It is confusing information
for them to process,

983
00:50:17,417 --> 00:50:21,833
and it also is increasing
sexual assault, child on child,

984
00:50:21,833 --> 00:50:24,500
as children see things
and then do it to one another,

985
00:50:24,542 --> 00:50:27,167
not fully understanding
everything that is happening.

986
00:50:27,208 --> 00:50:30,500
Advice for parents: number
one, don't just have the talk,

987
00:50:30,542 --> 00:50:33,167
have the talks.

988
00:50:33,208 --> 00:50:35,667
Some of your parents sat you
down, and they said,

989
00:50:35,708 --> 00:50:37,167
"Okay, don't have sex
before marriage.

990
00:50:37,208 --> 00:50:38,875
"Don't look at porn.
That was awkward.

991
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:41,042
Glad that's over."

992
00:50:41,167 --> 00:50:44,042
And they were just assuming that
from that point until you said,

993
00:50:44,167 --> 00:50:46,750
"I do," everything
would be done.

994
00:50:46,833 --> 00:50:49,333
That's not the way it works.

995
00:50:49,333 --> 00:50:51,875
If the first age of
exposure is age 11,

996
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,250
you've probably got to start
talking to your kids

997
00:50:54,333 --> 00:50:57,250
around age 10, and if they're
curious, maybe even earlier.

998
00:50:57,333 --> 00:50:59,500
And you don't have
the talk, you have the talks.

999
00:50:59,500 --> 00:51:02,000
"Here's what porn is.
Here's what porn does.

1000
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,833
"Here's what sexual assault is.
Here's what's inappropriate.

1001
00:51:04,917 --> 00:51:06,583
"I need you to talk to me.

1002
00:51:06,667 --> 00:51:09,042
"If anything happens,
I'm for you, not against you.

1003
00:51:09,167 --> 00:51:11,000
"Don't be ashamed.
Come to me.

1004
00:51:11,042 --> 00:51:13,083
"Let's keep the lines
of communication open

1005
00:51:13,167 --> 00:51:14,542
and keep talking about this."

1006
00:51:14,667 --> 00:51:17,583
Number two, get some protective
software on your computer

1007
00:51:17,667 --> 00:51:19,833
if you're a parent.

1008
00:51:19,833 --> 00:51:22,500
You're suicidal if you just give
your kids a computer

1009
00:51:22,542 --> 00:51:25,833
and access to the Internet
without any protection,

1010
00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:28,833
something like Covenant Eyes.

1011
00:51:28,833 --> 00:51:33,042
Number three, guard your kids'
cell phone, laptop, iPad,

1012
00:51:33,167 --> 00:51:35,667
whatever Internet-enabled
technology they have.

1013
00:51:35,708 --> 00:51:39,042
To send a teenage boy into his
room with the ability to surf

1014
00:51:39,167 --> 00:51:44,917
the Internet anonymously, you
may as well hand him a gun.

1015
00:51:47,917 --> 00:51:51,000
Number four, your family
computer should be visible

1016
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:53,667
in the home, not hidden away
in some private room.

1017
00:51:53,750 --> 00:51:56,083
Ours is in the kitchen
and living room area,

1018
00:51:56,167 --> 00:51:58,667
with the screen facing
out in front of everyone.

1019
00:51:58,708 --> 00:52:01,083
We all know what's
being watched.

1020
00:52:01,167 --> 00:52:04,000
There's software on
the computer, as well.

1021
00:52:04,042 --> 00:52:07,333
Number seven, your TV should
have a password to protect

1022
00:52:07,333 --> 00:52:11,667
against certain content, so that
you can guard what your children

1023
00:52:11,750 --> 00:52:14,042
do and do not watch.

1024
00:52:14,167 --> 00:52:17,083
And number six, you've got to
watch the homes that you allow

1025
00:52:17,167 --> 00:52:18,833
your children to go to.

1026
00:52:18,833 --> 00:52:21,833
You may safeguard your home,
and then let your kids go play

1027
00:52:21,833 --> 00:52:24,000
at the neighbor's
house--porn everywhere.

1028
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:25,833
Dad's got it.

1029
00:52:25,833 --> 00:52:28,333
They don't, you know,
guard what's on television.

1030
00:52:28,417 --> 00:52:31,375
Who knows what's on the
computer?

1031
00:52:31,500 --> 00:52:34,000
I mean, I experienced
this as a young boy.

1032
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,083
I went to a buddy
of mine's house.

1033
00:52:36,167 --> 00:52:40,083
I was maybe late elementary,
early junior high.

1034
00:52:40,167 --> 00:52:42,083
His mom was a single mom.

1035
00:52:42,167 --> 00:52:43,583
His dad wasn't around.

1036
00:52:43,667 --> 00:52:45,875
His mom didn't know
what to do with him

1037
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:47,375
as he approached the teen years,

1038
00:52:47,500 --> 00:52:49,750
so she bought him a subscription
to "Playboy."

1039
00:52:49,833 --> 00:52:52,250
I'd go over to his house
to, I don't know,

1040
00:52:52,333 --> 00:52:54,333
play ball or something.

1041
00:52:54,417 --> 00:52:55,750
He's got this huge stack.

1042
00:52:55,833 --> 00:52:57,375
"What is that in your bedroom?"

1043
00:52:57,500 --> 00:52:59,167
"Oh, my mom got me
a subscription."

1044
00:52:59,250 --> 00:53:03,250
"Wow."

1045
00:53:03,333 --> 00:53:06,333
Make sure you investigate
the homes that you send

1046
00:53:06,333 --> 00:53:09,167
your children
into for play dates.

1047
00:53:09,208 --> 00:53:11,833
Don't even do an overnight
when they're kids.

1048
00:53:11,833 --> 00:53:14,167
Just don't even take the risk.

1049
00:53:14,250 --> 00:53:16,667
You don't know who's going
to come into the home,

1050
00:53:16,750 --> 00:53:18,667
what they're going to
watch, what could happen.

1051
00:53:18,750 --> 00:53:20,083
You just don't know.

1052
00:53:20,167 --> 00:53:21,875
So, err on the side of caution

1053
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:25,042
when it comes
to your child's safety.

1054
00:53:26,333 --> 00:53:29,167
What do you
think about Jesus?

1055
00:53:29,208 --> 00:53:31,167
Hm.

1056
00:53:31,208 --> 00:53:34,083
I--he's my Savior.

1057
00:53:34,167 --> 00:53:37,500
And, you know,
like, for me, like,

1058
00:53:37,500 --> 00:53:40,583
where I'm at in my life
right now is that I,

1059
00:53:40,667 --> 00:53:42,542
I just want to follow him.

1060
00:53:42,667 --> 00:53:44,375
Like, that's my passion.

1061
00:53:44,500 --> 00:53:47,833
He's everything that I live for.

1062
00:53:47,833 --> 00:53:51,000
Is he the first man
who ever treated you well?

1063
00:53:51,042 --> 00:53:54,375
Yeah, yeah, he was.

1064
00:53:54,500 --> 00:53:57,875
Leaving the industry,
and starting things over,

1065
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:01,583
and being a Christian
wasn't easy.

1066
00:54:01,667 --> 00:54:06,583
And my walk with God was very,
very, very, very, very hard.

1067
00:54:06,667 --> 00:54:09,583
Immediately, I was
stripped of my identity,

1068
00:54:09,667 --> 00:54:12,500
the only identity I knew.

1069
00:54:12,542 --> 00:54:14,833
What would you say
is your identity now?

1070
00:54:14,833 --> 00:54:19,500
Now I know that my
identity is found in Christ.

1071
00:54:19,542 --> 00:54:21,500
Do you think he's totally
forgiven you

1072
00:54:21,542 --> 00:54:23,042
for everything you've done?

1073
00:54:23,167 --> 00:54:24,875
Yeah, I think
he has forgiven me.

1074
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,083
Do you think he
sees you as clean?

1075
00:54:27,167 --> 00:54:29,167
Oh, I know he
sees me as clean.

1076
00:54:29,250 --> 00:54:30,917
That's awesome.

1077
00:54:32,167 --> 00:54:35,375
Porn redemptively.

1078
00:54:35,500 --> 00:54:37,083
Some of you say,
"It's too late.

1079
00:54:37,167 --> 00:54:41,667
"I'm already in.
I saw the bait, not the hook.

1080
00:54:41,708 --> 00:54:44,542
"The hook's in my mouth,
and I'm getting reeled in.

1081
00:54:44,667 --> 00:54:46,333
It's too late."

1082
00:54:46,417 --> 00:54:48,167
It's never too late,

1083
00:54:48,250 --> 00:54:53,375
because your theology
can conquer your biology.

1084
00:54:53,500 --> 00:54:58,500
Galatians 5:16-24 says,
"Walk by the Spirit,

1085
00:54:58,542 --> 00:55:02,500
and you will not gratify
the desires of the flesh."

1086
00:55:02,542 --> 00:55:04,750
Those are your sinful desires.

1087
00:55:04,833 --> 00:55:07,333
"For the desires of the flesh
are against the Spirit,

1088
00:55:07,417 --> 00:55:10,167
"and the desires of the Spirit
are against the flesh,

1089
00:55:10,208 --> 00:55:12,333
"for these are opposed
to one another,

1090
00:55:12,333 --> 00:55:14,833
to keep you from doing
the things that you want."

1091
00:55:14,917 --> 00:55:17,500
We'll talk about your
deepest desires in a moment.

1092
00:55:17,500 --> 00:55:19,500
"But if you are
led by the Spirit,

1093
00:55:19,542 --> 00:55:21,083
"you are not under the law.

1094
00:55:21,167 --> 00:55:23,542
"Now the works of the flesh are
evident: sexual immorality,

1095
00:55:23,667 --> 00:55:29,500
"impurity, sensuality . . .
orgies,
and things like these.

1096
00:55:29,542 --> 00:55:32,167
"I warn you, as I
warned you before,

1097
00:55:32,250 --> 00:55:34,542
"that those who do such things
will not inherit

1098
00:55:34,667 --> 00:55:36,250
"the kingdom of God.

1099
00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:39,083
"But the fruit of the Spirit
is love, joy, peace, patience,

1100
00:55:39,167 --> 00:55:41,042
kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness--"

1101
00:55:41,167 --> 00:55:42,500
And what?

1102
00:55:42,542 --> 00:55:45,083
"Self-control."

1103
00:55:45,167 --> 00:55:46,833
"Against such things
there is no law.

1104
00:55:46,833 --> 00:55:49,250
"And those who belong
to Christ Jesus have crucified

1105
00:55:49,333 --> 00:55:51,750
the flesh with its passions
and desires."

1106
00:55:51,833 --> 00:55:53,500
Paul's saying
a couple of things here.

1107
00:55:53,500 --> 00:55:55,667
Number one, be a Christian.

1108
00:55:55,750 --> 00:55:58,333
The goal is not just to
stop looking at porn,

1109
00:55:58,333 --> 00:56:01,000
but to start worshiping Jesus.

1110
00:56:01,042 --> 00:56:04,042
If you start worshiping Jesus,
that will help you to stop

1111
00:56:04,167 --> 00:56:06,375
looking at porn.

1112
00:56:06,500 --> 00:56:09,875
The issue is deeper
than just activity.

1113
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:13,542
It's, again,
rooted in idolatry.

1114
00:56:13,667 --> 00:56:15,542
So, first, you've got
to be a Christian.

1115
00:56:15,667 --> 00:56:18,042
And some of you may just be
moral, guilt-ridden religious.

1116
00:56:18,167 --> 00:56:21,167
You may just feel bad, and have
failures, and feel condemned,

1117
00:56:21,250 --> 00:56:23,000
and try harder.

1118
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,083
Have you really come to Jesus,
and asked him for forgiveness,

1119
00:56:26,167 --> 00:56:28,375
and received the indwelling
presence and power

1120
00:56:28,500 --> 00:56:30,500
of the Holy Spirit?

1121
00:56:30,542 --> 00:56:34,750
Number two, you've got
to be honest with God.

1122
00:56:34,833 --> 00:56:39,042
Have you ever just sat down
and journaled out your history?

1123
00:56:39,167 --> 00:56:40,875
"Here's my first
exposure to porn.

1124
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,375
"Here's my sexual activity,
sins I've committed,

1125
00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:45,667
"sins that have been
committed against me.

1126
00:56:45,750 --> 00:56:48,375
"Here's the shameful
things that I've done.

1127
00:56:48,500 --> 00:56:50,167
Here's the dark places
that I've been."

1128
00:56:50,208 --> 00:56:54,000
Have you ever actually
journaled it all out,

1129
00:56:54,042 --> 00:57:00,333
so you can look at it
and realize the pattern,

1130
00:57:00,333 --> 00:57:03,667
how things maybe
have gotten worse,

1131
00:57:03,750 --> 00:57:06,000
and the real danger you're in?

1132
00:57:06,042 --> 00:57:07,667
You've got to become
honest with God.

1133
00:57:07,750 --> 00:57:09,083
This could take time.

1134
00:57:09,167 --> 00:57:11,583
And let me tell you,
it's going to break you.

1135
00:57:11,667 --> 00:57:13,542
You're going to be destroyed.

1136
00:57:13,667 --> 00:57:15,750
You're going to cry,
and you're going to weep.

1137
00:57:15,833 --> 00:57:17,500
And here's what
you're going to do.

1138
00:57:17,542 --> 00:57:19,833
You're going to start
the process of getting honest

1139
00:57:19,833 --> 00:57:21,750
with yourself.

1140
00:57:21,833 --> 00:57:23,875
Instead of blaming others,
or hiding your sin,

1141
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,000
or excusing yourself,
or minimalizing it,

1142
00:57:26,042 --> 00:57:28,375
or just thinking about
the most recent event--

1143
00:57:28,500 --> 00:57:30,875
"But, you know, it's been
a couple of weeks now,

1144
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:32,750
and I feel like
I'm doing better."

1145
00:57:32,833 --> 00:57:35,667
Be honest about all of
it with yourself and God.

1146
00:57:35,750 --> 00:57:39,333
Number three, if you're married,
be honest with your spouse.

1147
00:57:39,417 --> 00:57:41,833
All right?

1148
00:57:41,833 --> 00:57:47,500
Before you even leave, you just
need to say, "We need to talk,"

1149
00:57:47,542 --> 00:57:49,667
so that you don't leave here
as a coward

1150
00:57:49,750 --> 00:57:53,833
and never have
that conversation.

1151
00:57:53,833 --> 00:57:56,500
Number four, kill your sin
before it kills you

1152
00:57:56,542 --> 00:57:58,500
and who and what you love.

1153
00:57:58,542 --> 00:58:01,333
Paul says here that
Jesus Christ died for our sins,

1154
00:58:01,333 --> 00:58:03,500
so we could put
our sin to death;

1155
00:58:03,542 --> 00:58:06,833
because Jesus died for sin,
we could put sin to death.

1156
00:58:06,833 --> 00:58:09,250
And I'll tell you,
in the grace of God,

1157
00:58:09,333 --> 00:58:11,500
by the power of
the Holy Spirit, it's possible.

1158
00:58:11,500 --> 00:58:14,667
All right, the first time I
saw porn, I was a little boy.

1159
00:58:14,708 --> 00:58:17,667
I was in the restroom, I don't
know, going to the bathroom,

1160
00:58:17,708 --> 00:58:19,333
looking for
a Band-Aid or something,

1161
00:58:19,333 --> 00:58:21,500
and I opened a drawer,
and there's a magazine

1162
00:58:21,542 --> 00:58:22,875
like I'd never seen.

1163
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,542
I grew up in a neighborhood
where it was common,

1164
00:58:25,667 --> 00:58:28,667
where the boys in their fort had
magazines that they'd ripped off

1165
00:58:28,750 --> 00:58:30,250
from their dad.

1166
00:58:30,333 --> 00:58:33,000
Again, this was the days
before the Internet.

1167
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:35,167
Things are even harder
today, more difficult.

1168
00:58:35,250 --> 00:58:38,875
I full, fully, fully
acknowledge that.

1169
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:42,083
I was never addicted to porn,
but I was exposed to porn.

1170
00:58:42,167 --> 00:58:45,000
And at age 19,
when God saved me,

1171
00:58:45,042 --> 00:58:47,667
that was one of the first
deep convictions he gave me.

1172
00:58:47,750 --> 00:58:49,750
"Don't go there!"

1173
00:58:49,833 --> 00:58:52,250
I still remember being in
a fraternity, as a pledge,

1174
00:58:52,333 --> 00:58:55,000
for a week 'til I moved out.

1175
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:57,167
I go downstairs,
and they've got this huge TV,

1176
00:58:57,250 --> 00:58:59,917
and they've got a big
kitty on top of the TV,

1177
00:59:00,042 --> 00:59:02,500
and all the guys are
encouraged to put money in,

1178
00:59:02,542 --> 00:59:04,000
because that's the porn fund.

1179
00:59:04,042 --> 00:59:06,500
And then they just sit
around all day, drink beer,

1180
00:59:06,542 --> 00:59:07,875
and watch porn.

1181
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:11,083
And that's when I got in a fight
and started packing my bags.

1182
00:59:11,167 --> 00:59:14,000
I wasn't a Christian yet, but
God was even, at that time,

1183
00:59:14,042 --> 00:59:18,250
saving me from myself and
getting me out of harm's way.

1184
00:59:18,333 --> 00:59:23,500
As soon as I met Jesus,
my deepest desires changed.

1185
00:59:23,542 --> 00:59:26,083
So, that's what I'm
going to tell you to do,

1186
00:59:26,167 --> 00:59:28,667
to nurture your deepest desires.

1187
00:59:28,750 --> 00:59:31,375
Paul says here that the flesh
will keep you from doing

1188
00:59:31,500 --> 00:59:33,583
what you want to do!

1189
00:59:33,667 --> 00:59:36,375
Some of you think,
"I want to look at porn."

1190
00:59:36,500 --> 00:59:39,750
If you're a Christian,
you may want to look at porn,

1191
00:59:39,833 --> 00:59:43,500
but you really want
to honor Jesus.

1192
00:59:43,500 --> 00:59:48,167
You may have conflicted desires,
but your deepest desires are

1193
00:59:48,250 --> 00:59:53,167
desires given you--he's saying
here--by the Holy Spirit.

1194
00:59:53,208 --> 00:59:54,750
And some of you
would say,

1195
00:59:54,833 --> 00:59:56,875
"Well, my problem is I'm
just too passionate."

1196
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:58,333
No, you're not.

1197
00:59:58,333 --> 01:00:01,000
Your problem is you're
not passionate enough.

1198
01:00:01,042 --> 01:00:04,500
You settle for lesser things,
lower things, created things,

1199
01:00:04,542 --> 01:00:09,042
rather than greater things
and the Creator God.

1200
01:00:09,167 --> 01:00:13,250
So, I would encourage you, be
more passionate and pursue your

1201
01:00:13,333 --> 01:00:17,583
deepest desires, the desires
that the Holy Spirit gives you,

1202
01:00:17,667 --> 01:00:21,333
desires for holiness,
desires for obedience,

1203
01:00:21,417 --> 01:00:24,375
desires for purity,
desires for marriage,

1204
01:00:24,500 --> 01:00:27,333
desires for fatherhood,
and motherhood,

1205
01:00:27,333 --> 01:00:30,167
and legacy, and integrity.

1206
01:00:30,208 --> 01:00:32,833
And I could tell you,
by the grace of God,

1207
01:00:32,833 --> 01:00:35,250
it's possible.

1208
01:00:35,333 --> 01:00:39,833
It's possible.

1209
01:00:39,833 --> 01:00:42,875
I'm not a perfect man,
but in the grace of God,

1210
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:46,042
this has not been
an issue in our marriage.

1211
01:00:46,167 --> 01:00:48,000
It's not something that I do.

1212
01:00:48,042 --> 01:00:50,833
It's not something
that I've done.

1213
01:00:50,917 --> 01:00:55,667
When God saved me at 19,
the presence and the power

1214
01:00:55,708 --> 01:01:00,667
of the Holy Spirit
changed my desires.

1215
01:01:00,708 --> 01:01:03,375
And it doesn't mean that
I have never been tempted,

1216
01:01:03,500 --> 01:01:05,875
but it does mean,
by the grace of God,

1217
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:08,333
as I nurtured those
deepest desires,

1218
01:01:08,333 --> 01:01:10,583
I was able to put those
temptations to death

1219
01:01:10,667 --> 01:01:12,542
and to worship Jesus.

1220
01:01:12,667 --> 01:01:15,500
And by the grace of God,
though a fallen sinner

1221
01:01:15,542 --> 01:01:20,167
and an imperfect man, I love my
wife, and I'm faithful to her,

1222
01:01:20,208 --> 01:01:22,167
and I have been faithful to her.

1223
01:01:22,250 --> 01:01:26,083
And this year, we celebrate
our 20th wedding anniversary.

1224
01:01:26,167 --> 01:01:29,000
And I don't, I don't have
anything to tell her, like,

1225
01:01:29,042 --> 01:01:32,167
"Here's my stash,"
or what I've seen.

1226
01:01:32,250 --> 01:01:35,750
By the grace of God, you can
have a commitment

1227
01:01:35,833 --> 01:01:40,333
to your spouse, because of
the commitment that God

1228
01:01:40,333 --> 01:01:42,833
has to you through Christ.

1229
01:01:42,917 --> 01:01:45,833
And I want that for you.

1230
01:01:45,833 --> 01:01:49,000
You know, and I'll tell you,
had I grown up in the age

1231
01:01:49,042 --> 01:01:51,875
of the Internet, I think I'd be
in a lot more trouble.

1232
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:55,167
I think I would've gotten
further down that path because

1233
01:01:55,250 --> 01:02:01,000
of the anonymity, the immediacy,
and the accessibility.

1234
01:02:01,042 --> 01:02:06,083
God saved me before the
Internet even came into being.

1235
01:02:06,167 --> 01:02:11,375
And so in that regard, that's
been a grace of God on my life.

1236
01:02:11,500 --> 01:02:14,000
I tell you that to sympathize
with those of you

1237
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:18,250
who are struggling,
not to excuse you in any way.

1238
01:02:18,333 --> 01:02:22,583
But I'm so glad that even before
the Internet came into existence

1239
01:02:22,667 --> 01:02:26,583
that God did fill me with
the Holy Spirit and did give me

1240
01:02:26,667 --> 01:02:29,375
a desire to pursue
my deepest desires,

1241
01:02:29,500 --> 01:02:31,542
which kept me from
going down that path,

1242
01:02:31,667 --> 01:02:33,500
because had I been
going down that path,

1243
01:02:33,542 --> 01:02:37,583
when the time that the Internet
came into existence, who knows?

1244
01:02:37,667 --> 01:02:40,375
I might have kept going
for a really long time.

1245
01:02:40,500 --> 01:02:45,167
So, put it to death,
because Jesus died for it.

1246
01:02:47,042 --> 01:02:51,083
And I would say fight
and keep fighting.

1247
01:02:51,167 --> 01:02:54,500
And if you struggle
or fail or fall,

1248
01:02:54,500 --> 01:02:59,042
get up and fight again.

1249
01:02:59,167 --> 01:03:03,500
This is
a lifelong battle for some,

1250
01:03:03,500 --> 01:03:06,167
but it doesn't have to be
a lifelong series

1251
01:03:06,208 --> 01:03:09,083
of failed battles.

1252
01:03:09,167 --> 01:03:12,083
And some of you will say,
"It's too late, I did it again,

1253
01:03:12,167 --> 01:03:13,667
"I'm already halfway there.

1254
01:03:13,750 --> 01:03:15,500
I may as well see it through."

1255
01:03:15,542 --> 01:03:20,000
No, repent at any point.

1256
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:24,000
Repent at every point.

1257
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:27,500
Turn around, go back, start
over, come clean, get help,

1258
01:03:27,500 --> 01:03:29,875
talk to God,
talk to Christian leaders.

1259
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:35,083
Talk to good friends, be
honest, get the help you need.

1260
01:03:35,167 --> 01:03:37,333
It's never too late.

1261
01:03:37,417 --> 01:03:41,083
And, lastly, this is a word
particularly for the men.

1262
01:03:41,167 --> 01:03:46,667
1 Timothy 5:2 says that we
are to treat women as what?

1263
01:03:46,750 --> 01:03:49,833
"Sisters, with holiness,
and reverence, and propriety,

1264
01:03:49,917 --> 01:03:52,833
and respect."

1265
01:03:52,917 --> 01:03:57,833
I want you men to start
to view women as sisters,

1266
01:03:57,917 --> 01:04:02,500
not as objects.

1267
01:04:04,208 --> 01:04:09,333
Crissy, we really appreciate
your bravery, and your honesty,

1268
01:04:09,417 --> 01:04:11,083
and your sincerity.

1269
01:04:11,167 --> 01:04:12,833
And I really mean that.

1270
01:04:12,917 --> 01:04:16,000
I mean, I can't think there's
many people that would have this

1271
01:04:16,042 --> 01:04:20,333
kind of courage, and I just
feel inclined to tell you,

1272
01:04:20,417 --> 01:04:23,375
in the Holy Spirit, that Jesus
may have been the first man

1273
01:04:23,500 --> 01:04:26,500
who treats you well, but I don't
think he'll be the last.

1274
01:04:26,542 --> 01:04:29,667
And I think that those
deep desires that God gave you

1275
01:04:29,750 --> 01:04:32,375
as a little girl
are God-given,

1276
01:04:32,500 --> 01:04:35,833
and I think,
in the grace of God,

1277
01:04:35,833 --> 01:04:39,375
that hope that you originally
had as a little girl

1278
01:04:39,500 --> 01:04:44,042
to love Jesus, and to be
married, and to be a mom,

1279
01:04:44,167 --> 01:04:46,833
I believe that that's what
God wants for you, as well,

1280
01:04:46,917 --> 01:04:48,833
and that's what I'm
really praying for.

1281
01:04:48,833 --> 01:04:54,000
And I appreciate you being
our sister in Christ.

1282
01:04:54,042 --> 01:04:55,875
Thank you.

1283
01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:57,333
Yeah.

1284
01:04:57,417 --> 01:05:00,500
Could you go ahead
and close our time in prayer,

1285
01:05:00,542 --> 01:05:03,583
sweetheart?

1286
01:05:03,667 --> 01:05:05,833
Dear Lord,
thank you for Crissy.

1287
01:05:05,833 --> 01:05:08,500
Thank you for the redemption
in her life, Lord.

1288
01:05:08,542 --> 01:05:13,000
It is such a witness to be
able to see what you've done,

1289
01:05:13,042 --> 01:05:15,875
and her love
for you, Lord, is real.

1290
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:17,833
We thank you for that.

1291
01:05:17,833 --> 01:05:19,500
We thank you.

1292
01:05:19,542 --> 01:05:22,833
You can cleanse all of us, and
you can put your righteousness

1293
01:05:22,833 --> 01:05:25,667
on all of us,
and that's the only way

1294
01:05:25,750 --> 01:05:27,833
that we can have righteousness.

1295
01:05:27,917 --> 01:05:30,542
We thank you that we
don't have to earn that.

1296
01:05:30,667 --> 01:05:34,042
Lord, we thank you that it was
a free gift and that we can

1297
01:05:34,167 --> 01:05:38,042
continually come to you
and ask for healing.

1298
01:05:38,167 --> 01:05:41,167
We pray for that for Crissy,
that you would continue to work

1299
01:05:41,250 --> 01:05:44,667
through all of these areas
of hurt in her heart

1300
01:05:44,708 --> 01:05:46,333
and in her mind.

1301
01:05:46,333 --> 01:05:48,000
Lord, just renew her.

1302
01:05:48,042 --> 01:05:51,000
Thank you that she's
a beautiful, godly woman, today,

1303
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:54,167
and that she's willing to
share that with so many others,

1304
01:05:54,250 --> 01:05:56,667
so that they can experience
that healing that only comes

1305
01:05:56,708 --> 01:05:58,250
from the cross.

1306
01:05:58,333 --> 01:06:00,333
Thank you, in Jesus' name.

1307
01:06:00,417 --> 01:06:01,833
Amen, and Father God,

1308
01:06:01,833 --> 01:06:05,083
I feel inclined to
pray for the men,

1309
01:06:05,167 --> 01:06:08,667
the men who are
looking at pornography,

1310
01:06:08,750 --> 01:06:11,083
that their heart would
break, Father God,

1311
01:06:11,167 --> 01:06:16,500
as your heart has been broken,
that they would not see just

1312
01:06:16,542 --> 01:06:20,000
women, but they would see women
who are your image bearers,

1313
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:25,500
that, God, men's hearts would
open up to the reality

1314
01:06:25,500 --> 01:06:28,667
of the demonic nature
of the industry

1315
01:06:28,750 --> 01:06:32,500
and that they would put to death
their sin,

1316
01:06:32,542 --> 01:06:35,750
and that they would be
defenders and protectors of

1317
01:06:35,833 --> 01:06:39,667
women, that the men, Lord God,
who have been giving their money

1318
01:06:39,708 --> 01:06:42,667
to pornography, and
strip clubs, and prostitutes,

1319
01:06:42,750 --> 01:06:46,167
I pray they would give it to
ministries that help women

1320
01:06:46,250 --> 01:06:49,667
who are victimized in those
situations get help,

1321
01:06:49,708 --> 01:06:52,542
and healing,
and hope in Jesus Christ.

1322
01:06:52,667 --> 01:06:57,333
And, God, I thank you so
much for Crissy's bravery,

1323
01:06:57,417 --> 01:07:01,167
and I pray for all
of us, men and women,

1324
01:07:01,250 --> 01:07:04,667
when we're tempted to look
at something we should not,

1325
01:07:04,708 --> 01:07:08,667
that we would see her face,
that we would hear her voice,

1326
01:07:08,750 --> 01:07:13,167
and that we would share her
heart to love and serve Jesus,

1327
01:07:13,208 --> 01:07:15,417
in whose name we pray, amen.