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Howdy, Pastor Mark here,
all sweaty

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got done just yelling,

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got to start the 
Ten Commandments series,

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really excited.

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We got, of course,
10 weeks together

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going through the
Ten Commandments

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and I wanted to thank you;
you are part

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of our extended family
of Mars Hill Global.

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Many of you pray for us,
many of you podcast,

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many of you give
generously and faithfully

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thank you, thank you, thank you

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you're helping us
introduce people to Jesus,

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get solid Bible teaching out,
see lives change.

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The band is playing 
behind me right now,

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people are giving 
their lives to Jesus.

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If you hear some cheering

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it's 'cause they're getting
baptized right now.

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And our extended family goes
really all around the world.

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At 4 o' clock today,
at our last service

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at the Bellevue location
where I'm preaching live

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we've got a guy in from China.

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And apparently 
he can't get baptized

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where he's at in China
because the legalities

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and for some reason
he's in the U.S.,

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he's part of our
extended family

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and we're gonna baptize him here
from China at 4 o' clock.

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We love the opportunity
that technology affords us

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to get the Bible teaching about
Jesus out to the world.

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Somebody else 
getting baptized right there;

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I hope 
you can hear the shouts.

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Sincerely thank you,
thank you, thank you.

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If you're not already
part of the extended family

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or if you wanna invite
others to join us

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and know what's going on
and be kept up to speed,

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marshill.com/global

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is the easiest way 
to sign up for an account.

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And for those of you
who want to follow along

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in the Ten Commandments,

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we did put together 
a study guide.

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You could do this individually,

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you could do this
with your family

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you could do this
with a small group.

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All the proceeds 
go back to the church

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I'm not putting 
my hand on the till

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and it was all written 
by people in the church

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who love Jesus; men,
women, single, married,

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serving and using their gifts
to help serve our church

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and I want to thank you

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for being an extended
member of Mars Hill.

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So thanks a bunch 
and be praying.

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I'm pretty fired up
to be in the Ten Commandments.

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The people of God
were stuck.

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For centuries,
they lived as slaves

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to terrifying task masters

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whose cruelty was
only exceeded by their power.

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In these dark days,

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God's people
gave birth to children

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who would inherit
nothing more than misery.

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Their strongest ally
was a God,

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who they had assumed
had forgotten them.

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Far from forgotten,
the people of God

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were rescued by the might
of his hand.

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He put their masters
to open shame

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and led them
into the wilderness.

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Though they were set free,
they weren't yet living free.

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They started to live as slaves
to their own sin.

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What happened next

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reverberates for over
3,000 years of history

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to this current day.

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Like a loving
and patient Father,

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God instructed his children,

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giving them
the Ten Commandments.

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All right, we're gonna start
a little differently today.

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Close your eyes, trust me.

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No need to put your hand on
your wallet, you're safe.

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Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.

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OK, think of the face
of your mother.

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Think of the face of your mother,
and then hear these words:

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"Honor your mother."

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Now think of the face of
your father, if you know him,

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and consider these words:
"Honor your father."

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In your mind's eye,

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see the face of each
of your children,

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if you're a parent, and ask
yourself this question:

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"Do they honor me?"

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You can open your eyes.

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You feel the complexity
of what I'm up against today,

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teaching in
the Ten Commandments on,

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"Honor your mother
and father."

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For some of you,

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when the thought
of your mother's face

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or your father's face
came to mind, you smiled,

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and when I asked you to consider
what it means to honor them,

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for you, it was fairly easy.

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They love Jesus, they love me,
we have a good relationship.

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For others of you,
it was devastating.

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Concerning some
of your children,

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you were very encouraged.

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For others,
you were very concerned.

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Today, as I deal with
this great commandment--

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it's in Exodus 20:12.

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It's actually just one verse.

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We're going to spend
a lot of time on it.

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We're going to look at the fifth
of the Ten Commandments

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as we continue our series.

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It's very simple:

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Honor your father and mother.

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And there's no fine print
and no footnotes.

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There's no exception clause
for those of us who have had

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horrific experiences
at the hands of our parents.

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And I don't want to
belittle that in any way,

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so what I'm up against this week
is a lot of emotional complexity

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and resistance.

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And I just want to state
that early and up front,

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not for all of you, but for some
of you, perhaps for most of you.

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So, what I want you to do
is I want you to trust me.

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I have the great opportunity
today to be in the position

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of a spiritual father,
and that's really my role

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at Mars Hill Church.

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And when my kids are uncertain
of where we're going,

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particularly the two younger--
Alexi, who's 9,

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and Gideon, who's 7--they trust
me because I'm their father.

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And they'll come
alongside of me,

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and they'll each take a hand.

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The other kids are
a little older.

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My 11-year-old
and my 14-year-old son,

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not so big on holding my
hand, but the 7-year-old,

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it's still OK.

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He feels OK holding my
hand, and the 9-year-old--

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she feels OK holding my hand.

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But if we're going somewhere,

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and they feel a little uncertain
or a little unsafe,

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they'll hold my hand.

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They'll kind of
give me the look,

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and I'll give them the look,
and then they'll walk with me

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because they trust me.

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I'm asking you to take my
hand and to trust me today.

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As a spiritual father
for 17 years

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at Mars Hill Church,

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I want you to walk with me into
a place that you're probably

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afraid of, wouldn't go
unless I took you there.

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And the reason you don't want
to go there is because

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it's incredibly painful,
but because it's painful,

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it's incredibly important.

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And what makes things
even more complicated is

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a lot of cultural variables.

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We've separated
sex from marriage,

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so through birth control
and abortion, all of a sudden,

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people are sexually active

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without any thought of marriage
or parenting.

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So some of you came into
the world with parents

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who didn't want you, and didn't
love you, and didn't serve you,

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and didn't care for you,
and didn't cherish you.

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In addition, a lot of parenting
is based on the teaching of

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Sigmund Freud, which
his whole premise was,

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"We need to kill our father
to liberate ourselves

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and live free,"
which according to the Bible

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is the essence
of all our trouble,

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that we've separated
ourselves

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from our Heavenly Father.

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And as we separate ourselves

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from our earthly mother
and father,

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it's to our own
destruction and demise,

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because when we choose to sin,
we choose to suffer.

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And then there's a whole
parenting philosophy that comes

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out of Freudian psychology that
basically says that separation

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from one's parents is
a good thing, and it's not.

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Then comes an entire industry
of products, and goods,

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and services to pre-teens, and
teens, and to young adults,

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extending adolescence up until
age 25, according to a recent

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recommendation, that really
hit the media quite recently.

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The result is that people
are living separated

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from their parents physically.

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They're living separated from
their parents emotionally.

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They're living separated from
their parents spiritually.

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And they're making bad decisions,

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and they're harming
their own life.

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And then there's an entire
culture of rebellion

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that comes up.

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I told you
in the second commandment

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that if you idolize something,

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you'll demonize it eventually.

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And what we have done is we
have idolized youth

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and we've demonized old age.

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We have idolized rebellion, and
as a result, we demonize honor,

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and that's the culture
in which we live.

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Good luck finding
a film, a magazine,

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good luck finding a band that
is singing this basic refrain,

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"Honor your mother and father.

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Honor your mother and father."

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Good luck even picking up
a pre-teen or teen magazine

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where questions are asked
and any of the answers include,

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"Have you talked
to your parents?"

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Good luck finding that.

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So, we're born into
a world of rebellion,

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we're all acting like
a bunch of orphans,

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and then God gives us
this strong word of,

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"Honor your mother and father."

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And it really exacerbated itself
in the 1960s and '70s where it

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became culturally vogue
and fashionable to be rebellious

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against authority in general
and parental authority

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in particular.

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OK, so most of you were born
into a world that is in anarchy

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and then you struggle
with the pain,

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yet you persist to continue
in the myth that we're all

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individuals and the decisions
we make don't affect others,

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and that's not true, and here's
how I can prove it to you:

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Think about your dad
and the decisions he's made,

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and whether or not he's
an island unto himself,

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or the decisions he's made have
greatly affected you

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positively or negatively.

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And someday, your children will
be thinking the same thing.

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Some of you say,
"I don't have children."

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Well, you keep
having sex, you will.

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Maybe that's how you got here.

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Your parents weren't
anticipating and preparing

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for you, and when you came,

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they ultimately didn't really
tend to you.

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There's a lot of pain that
comes around this issue.

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The first four commandments are
about our relationship with God.

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There's one God;
worship him alone.

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Our worship of him begins
by how we speak of him,

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not taking
the Lord's name in vain,

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and honoring him with a day of
Sabbath rest to worship him.

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This is the fifth of
the Ten Commandments,

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and this is where it all
transitions from God

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to neighbor. And the first
priority is family.

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When Jesus came along,
they asked him,

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"What are the greatest
commandment or commandments?"

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He said, "To love God
and to love people."

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The first four commandments
are about loving God,

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and as a result of God's love
for you and you loving God,

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commandments five through ten
are about loving your neighbor,

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starting with your parents.

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And here's the big idea: I think
if you could love your parents,

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you could love anybody.

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If you could forgive
your parents,

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you could forgive anybody.

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You ready?

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Take a deep breath.

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Take my hand.
I do love you.

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Let's see where
we go together.

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First commandment--
first question, rather,

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regarding this commandment,
who do we honor?

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Exodus 20:12, "Honor
your father and mother."

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How many of you have
heard this before?

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You're like, "This is
not new information."

248
00:11:27,167 --> 00:11:29,292
Honor, who?

249
00:11:29,333 --> 00:11:30,917
Well, the father's listed first.

250
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,000
The father is
the head of the household.

251
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:34,708
The father is
the appointed family leader.

252
00:11:34,792 --> 00:11:36,708
The father bears particular
responsibility

253
00:11:36,792 --> 00:11:38,583
in the sight of God.

254
00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:41,083
"And mother."

255
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:45,208
Mother is alongside of father,
working with him.

256
00:11:45,292 --> 00:11:47,208
Like a right hand
and a left hand,

257
00:11:47,292 --> 00:11:49,792
mom and dad are to be working
together to love

258
00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:51,500
and lead the family.

259
00:11:51,583 --> 00:11:55,083
This is actually very unusual
because you would be reticent to

260
00:11:55,167 --> 00:11:58,125
find, in that day, commandments
about honoring your mother.

261
00:11:58,167 --> 00:11:59,708
Other religions
and people groups,

262
00:11:59,792 --> 00:12:01,667
they talk a lot about
the family's position

263
00:12:01,750 --> 00:12:04,000
as the patriarch--the father's
position, rather,

264
00:12:04,042 --> 00:12:05,667
as the patriarch
over the family,

265
00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:07,792
but they wouldn't say a lot
about the respect

266
00:12:07,833 --> 00:12:09,292
for your mother.

267
00:12:09,333 --> 00:12:12,167
Here, what God does is he puts
mothers and fathers

268
00:12:12,208 --> 00:12:16,000
in the same place
on the proverbial org chart.

269
00:12:16,042 --> 00:12:18,250
All right, so there's mom
and dad--there's God,

270
00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:21,292
and then there's mom and dad,
and then there's the kids.

271
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:25,375
And so in honoring your mother
and father it is both your

272
00:12:25,458 --> 00:12:27,792
mother and father.

273
00:12:27,833 --> 00:12:33,583
The issue here of honor means
to respect, to defer, to submit.

274
00:12:33,667 --> 00:12:36,875
It means to have
love, appreciation,

275
00:12:36,958 --> 00:12:39,833
affection toward them.

276
00:12:39,917 --> 00:12:42,333
Honor is something
that begins internally,

277
00:12:42,417 --> 00:12:45,500
and then it manifests
itself externally.

278
00:12:45,542 --> 00:12:49,042
As you have honor in your heart,
it comes out in your words.

279
00:12:49,125 --> 00:12:51,667
That's where Jesus says, "Out
of the overflow of the heart,

280
00:12:51,750 --> 00:12:53,167
the mouth speaks."

281
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,375
So, if you speak
negatively, pejoratively,

282
00:12:55,458 --> 00:12:59,000
critically about your parents,
the issue is not just keeping

283
00:12:59,042 --> 00:13:00,833
a reign on your tongue,

284
00:13:00,875 --> 00:13:03,750
but getting some redemption
in your heart.

285
00:13:03,833 --> 00:13:07,667
It begins internally and it
manifests itself externally,

286
00:13:07,750 --> 00:13:11,667
this honor of father and mother.

287
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,333
A couple of things
I want to show you is that

288
00:13:14,417 --> 00:13:16,958
a father and a mother is
the ideal family unit.

289
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,792
It's very controversial.

290
00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:22,042
You single mothers,
don't bristle on me.

291
00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:24,167
Every time I preach
on godly men,

292
00:13:24,208 --> 00:13:27,792
I get a number of single women
who bristle, and my response is,

293
00:13:27,833 --> 00:13:31,458
"I love you, and if the man who
impregnated you would have heard

294
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:33,500
"this, your situation
may be different

295
00:13:33,542 --> 00:13:35,500
and you may not
need to bristle."

296
00:13:35,542 --> 00:13:38,667
So, I'm trying to help everyone
without excluding anyone.

297
00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:41,083
And know that
when I speak today,

298
00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:43,500
I speak to 13,000 people
at Mars Hill,

299
00:13:43,542 --> 00:13:45,792
and tens of thousands
of other people online,

300
00:13:45,833 --> 00:13:47,833
and if your particular
scenario's unique and complex,

301
00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:49,250
we love you.

302
00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:51,667
Get in a Community Group.
Get in a Redemption Group.

303
00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:53,167
Meet with a local lead pastor.

304
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,375
I may not be able to answer
everybody's question

305
00:13:55,458 --> 00:13:58,375
and objection, because if we all
met, we'd be in a stadium,

306
00:13:58,458 --> 00:14:00,167
but I'm going to try my best.

307
00:14:00,208 --> 00:14:04,292
The ideal family unit is
a mother and a father.

308
00:14:04,333 --> 00:14:06,167
A mother and a father.

309
00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:08,667
Now, even today,
that's controversial.

310
00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:12,333
Even today, that would be called
bigoted and discriminatory,

311
00:14:12,417 --> 00:14:14,583
but that's God's design,
that's God's decree,

312
00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:18,000
that's God's intent,
that's God's plan.

313
00:14:18,042 --> 00:14:20,292
Yes, there will be widows.

314
00:14:20,333 --> 00:14:22,667
Yes, there will be divorces

315
00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:24,792
because of horrendous
cases of sin.

316
00:14:24,833 --> 00:14:27,542
Yes, we live in a fallen
and imperfect world.

317
00:14:27,625 --> 00:14:32,083
But ideally, a child would have
a father and a mother

318
00:14:32,167 --> 00:14:35,000
who would not just be there
for the conception,

319
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:40,167
but be there for graduation.

320
00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:43,583
What this means
as well, quite practically,

321
00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:47,500
is that for children to honor
their father and mother means

322
00:14:47,542 --> 00:14:51,583
that children are not
allowed to play favorites.

323
00:14:51,667 --> 00:14:56,875
It doesn't say to honor
your father or your mother.

324
00:14:56,958 --> 00:14:59,250
It says to honor your
father and your mother.

325
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,333
How many of you grew up in
a home--don't raise your hand,

326
00:15:02,375 --> 00:15:04,833
especially if you're here with
your folks--but your parents

327
00:15:04,917 --> 00:15:07,000
played favorites?

328
00:15:07,042 --> 00:15:08,750
They played favorites.

329
00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:10,792
You could tell.

330
00:15:10,833 --> 00:15:14,167
I think of one home where there
were multiple children

331
00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:16,667
and the kids will literally
tell you, "Well,

332
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:21,500
we were dad's children
and they were mom's children,"

333
00:15:21,542 --> 00:15:25,167
like just a cleaver went
down the middle of the family.

334
00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:28,083
"And we really--you know, we
talked to dad, we loved dad,

335
00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:30,833
"we trusted dad, and then
these kids, they loved mom,

336
00:15:30,917 --> 00:15:34,292
they followed mom,
they talked to mom."

337
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:35,875
Well, how did that begin?

338
00:15:35,958 --> 00:15:37,375
How did that happen?

339
00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:39,167
Well, it began with
dad playing favorites

340
00:15:39,250 --> 00:15:41,000
and mom playing favorites,

341
00:15:41,042 --> 00:15:43,375
and it's like recess
at school where there's

342
00:15:43,458 --> 00:15:46,083
two captains and they
pick their teams.

343
00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:48,667
Mom says, "Well, these are
my favorites," and Dad says,

344
00:15:48,708 --> 00:15:50,667
"These are my favorites,"
and the kids say,

345
00:15:50,708 --> 00:15:53,292
"Well, then I honor my mother,"
or, "I honor my father."

346
00:15:53,333 --> 00:15:55,833
Horrible things happen, if
you read the book of Genesis,

347
00:15:55,917 --> 00:15:57,667
when parents play favorites.

348
00:15:57,750 --> 00:15:59,667
In fact, children end
up killing one another

349
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,750
and selling one another
into slavery.

350
00:16:01,833 --> 00:16:04,458
So, if any of you are
like, "Well, I don't know.

351
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:05,833
Let me see."

352
00:16:05,917 --> 00:16:07,667
Well, just read
the book, all right?

353
00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:09,875
It doesn't go well for
parents who play favorites.

354
00:16:09,958 --> 00:16:11,583
It does horrifying things
to their children.

355
00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:14,500
Similarly, when
children play favorites,

356
00:16:14,542 --> 00:16:17,167
the exact same thing happens.

357
00:16:17,208 --> 00:16:19,792
So, you as parents,
you cannot just assume,

358
00:16:19,833 --> 00:16:23,167
you cannot accept that,
"Well, these kids love me

359
00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:25,083
and those kids love you,
and that's OK."

360
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:26,750
It's not OK.

361
00:16:26,833 --> 00:16:28,583
As parents cannot
play favorites,

362
00:16:28,667 --> 00:16:31,000
so children cannot
play favorites,

363
00:16:31,042 --> 00:16:33,667
and they need to honor both
their father and their mother.

364
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:36,833
And you know you've got a real
problem in the home when this

365
00:16:36,917 --> 00:16:38,583
happens, let me
give you an example.

366
00:16:38,667 --> 00:16:41,792
Dad's at work all day, and I
know this is a horrible example

367
00:16:41,833 --> 00:16:44,792
because a dad has a job and
mom raises the kids--I mean,

368
00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:47,958
so I'm just going to use this
horrible example from my house

369
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:52,292
where dad goes to work and
mom stays home with the kids,

370
00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:54,667
and the kids are being
rebellious and disrespectful.

371
00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:57,667
Hypothetically, let's just
say it's the boys, OK?

372
00:16:57,708 --> 00:16:59,250
Just hypothetically.

373
00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:02,458
And then the mom says to the
boys in a moment of exasperation

374
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:06,292
because they will not obey,
"Wait until your--"

375
00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:08,167
you've heard this before.

376
00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:09,875
"Wait until your
father gets home."

377
00:17:09,958 --> 00:17:12,333
What she's saying is, "You
do not honor your mother,

378
00:17:12,417 --> 00:17:16,833
you only honor your father."

379
00:17:16,917 --> 00:17:20,042
So then father
needs to show up

380
00:17:20,125 --> 00:17:22,958
and not just discipline
but, what?

381
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,667
Instruct.

382
00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:27,750
"Your mother and I speak
with the same voice.

383
00:17:27,833 --> 00:17:29,500
"God commands you
to honor your mother.

384
00:17:29,542 --> 00:17:31,583
"And I don't care if
you're a teenager

385
00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:36,000
with hormones raging,
she's still your mother."

386
00:17:36,083 --> 00:17:38,958
If you're that woman
and you disrespect and dishonor

387
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,833
your husband in front
of the children,

388
00:17:40,917 --> 00:17:42,833
what do you think
the children will do?

389
00:17:42,917 --> 00:17:44,958
You think they'll
honor their father?

390
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,250
No, they will sing
the same song as their mother.

391
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:53,625
Dads, OK, so for you
overbearing, harsh men,

392
00:17:53,667 --> 00:17:57,417
you men who love to be in
authority but not to be

393
00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:01,833
servant leaders, you men who
like to belittle, and criticize,

394
00:18:01,875 --> 00:18:04,125
and knock down your wife
verbally in front of

395
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:08,708
the children, you treat her
basically as she's not--

396
00:18:08,792 --> 00:18:12,125
the system is not God,
you and your wife,

397
00:18:12,167 --> 00:18:13,500
and the children.

398
00:18:13,583 --> 00:18:16,250
What you've done is you've
pushed your wife down to where

399
00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:17,917
she's just one of the kids.

400
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,125
You speak to her
like one of the kids,

401
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:22,125
you punish her like
one of the kids,

402
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,333
you talk to her like
one of the kids.

403
00:18:24,375 --> 00:18:27,333
Do you think those children will
grow up to honor their mother,

404
00:18:27,375 --> 00:18:28,708
yes or no?

405
00:18:28,792 --> 00:18:30,125
No.

406
00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:31,500
Now, some will defend her.

407
00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:33,625
"Dad is a real jerk to Mom."

408
00:18:33,667 --> 00:18:36,000
Others will align
with their father

409
00:18:36,083 --> 00:18:38,125
and they will dishonor her
because he's setting

410
00:18:38,167 --> 00:18:41,000
a pattern and precedent
of dishonor.

411
00:18:41,083 --> 00:18:44,417
So, this doesn't mean that moms
and dads can't have conflict

412
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:45,833
and disagreement.

413
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:47,542
It means that when
they have conflict,

414
00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:49,542
they either deal with it
privately, and sometimes,

415
00:18:49,625 --> 00:18:52,042
when they deal with it
in front of the kids,

416
00:18:52,125 --> 00:18:53,458
they deal with it honorably.

417
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,833
And some parents will say,

418
00:18:54,917 --> 00:18:56,833
"We never disagree
in front of the kids."

419
00:18:56,917 --> 00:18:59,542
If you do, just do it
in a way that's honorable,

420
00:18:59,625 --> 00:19:02,125
because you're modeling for
your children how you can even

421
00:19:02,167 --> 00:19:04,125
honor one another
in a moment of disagreement.

422
00:19:04,167 --> 00:19:05,625
It's not necessarily
a bad thing.

423
00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:09,583
My children know that Grace
and I occasionally disagree,

424
00:19:09,667 --> 00:19:13,042
and that we work it out,
and that we honor one another,

425
00:19:13,125 --> 00:19:16,125
and we work toward
unity in our family,

426
00:19:16,167 --> 00:19:18,625
beginning at the parental level.

427
00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:20,833
See, some guys, it's like
they treat their wife

428
00:19:20,875 --> 00:19:23,708
like she's the first-born child.

429
00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:25,250
That's not where Mom belongs.

430
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:27,250
She belongs alongside of him.

431
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,208
All right, she was
taken from his rib.

432
00:19:29,292 --> 00:19:32,208
That's her home--not in front
as feminism would teach,

433
00:19:32,292 --> 00:19:34,500
not behind as
chauvinism would teach,

434
00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:37,042
alongside as God would teach.

435
00:19:37,125 --> 00:19:40,750
And parents, it is important
that we instruct our children

436
00:19:40,833 --> 00:19:42,625
to honor their
mother and father,

437
00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:44,750
we do not play favorites,

438
00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:47,833
and in addition,
we honor the other parent,

439
00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:49,625
particularly in front
of the children,

440
00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:52,917
to set a pattern and precedence
of honor in the family.

441
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,458
Make sense?

442
00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:57,167
How many of you are
already feeling convicted?

443
00:19:57,208 --> 00:19:59,833
How many of you parents
are like, "I can go now.

444
00:19:59,875 --> 00:20:01,542
That's enough.
That's all I can handle."

445
00:20:01,625 --> 00:20:03,125
OK, next one.

446
00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:05,125
We're going to do a lot more.

447
00:20:05,167 --> 00:20:08,042
Why do we honor
father and mother?

448
00:20:08,125 --> 00:20:10,500
Exodus 20:12,

449
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,792
"That your days
may be long in the land

450
00:20:12,833 --> 00:20:14,792
that the Lord your God
is giving you."

451
00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:17,792
Now, they've been slaves in
Egypt for over 400 years.

452
00:20:17,833 --> 00:20:19,833
God has liberated them
through the Exodus.

453
00:20:19,917 --> 00:20:22,958
They are journeying, walking
toward their homeland,

454
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,500
but they're not there yet.

455
00:20:24,542 --> 00:20:26,958
It's a promise that God
has set before them

456
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,667
but they have not yet
experienced.

457
00:20:28,708 --> 00:20:30,333
A lot of life is like that.

458
00:20:30,417 --> 00:20:31,875
It's lived by faith.

459
00:20:31,958 --> 00:20:35,167
I'm just going to continue to
walk with God until he brings me

460
00:20:35,250 --> 00:20:37,667
to that next season
of life, or stage, or place

461
00:20:37,750 --> 00:20:40,083
that he intends for me.

462
00:20:40,167 --> 00:20:46,083
In Ephesians 6, Paul quotes
this commandment and he tells

463
00:20:46,167 --> 00:20:47,792
children, "Honor your
father and mother,"

464
00:20:47,833 --> 00:20:49,500
and then he adds
this little line,

465
00:20:49,542 --> 00:20:53,167
and it's the first commandment
that comes with a promise.

466
00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:56,542
And the promise is "That your
days may be long in the land

467
00:20:56,625 --> 00:20:58,542
that the Lord your God
is giving you."

468
00:20:58,625 --> 00:20:59,958
So, who do we honor?

469
00:21:00,083 --> 00:21:01,417
Both our mother and father.

470
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:02,833
Why do we honor?

471
00:21:02,875 --> 00:21:06,042
Because it makes
our life better.

472
00:21:06,125 --> 00:21:08,250
Now, first commandment is
that there's only one God.

473
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,958
Second commandment is we're
only to worship one God.

474
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,625
But here, we find out that if we
live in a way toward our family

475
00:21:14,667 --> 00:21:16,958
that is worshipful
and respectful toward God,

476
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,042
it actually has benefits for us.

477
00:21:20,125 --> 00:21:22,708
I want you to see when you
always do what is

478
00:21:22,792 --> 00:21:25,833
to God's glory,
it is also for your good.

479
00:21:25,875 --> 00:21:28,042
So, every time you need
to make a decision,

480
00:21:28,125 --> 00:21:32,750
don't think in these terms:
"What's best for me?"

481
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,750
Because actually, you'll end up
doing things

482
00:21:34,833 --> 00:21:37,167
that aren't best for you.

483
00:21:37,208 --> 00:21:40,167
Ask this question:
"What will glorify God?

484
00:21:40,208 --> 00:21:43,458
What will obey God?
What will honor God?"

485
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:46,625
And if in your decision-making,
you do what glorifies God,

486
00:21:46,667 --> 00:21:51,542
the by-product, the benefit
is that it's good for you.

487
00:21:51,625 --> 00:21:53,958
See, because God's
will is holistic,

488
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,250
and what is glorifying
to God is good for us.

489
00:21:57,333 --> 00:22:01,667
And so how many of you
want to live a long life?

490
00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:04,417
How many of you want
to have a better life?

491
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:07,417
How many of you want your
children to live a longer life

492
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,125
and them to have a better life?

493
00:22:09,167 --> 00:22:11,333
How many of you want your
grandchildren to live

494
00:22:11,375 --> 00:22:13,500
a long life and to have
a better life?

495
00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:15,250
This is like
the book of Proverbs.

496
00:22:15,333 --> 00:22:17,667
It's not a dot-to-dot,
this guarantees that,

497
00:22:17,708 --> 00:22:20,500
but this is proverbial wisdom
that those who abide by

498
00:22:20,583 --> 00:22:22,833
these principles tend
to have a certain lifestyle

499
00:22:22,917 --> 00:22:25,333
that goes a certain direction.

500
00:22:25,417 --> 00:22:28,542
I can just tell you, with my
kids, if they will obey me,

501
00:22:28,625 --> 00:22:30,125
they will be healthier.

502
00:22:30,167 --> 00:22:32,167
If they obey their mother,
they'll live longer.

503
00:22:32,208 --> 00:22:35,250
If they take our counsel,
the way they handle sexuality,

504
00:22:35,333 --> 00:22:38,667
and friendship, and marriage,
and finance, and nutrition,

505
00:22:38,708 --> 00:22:42,333
and education, it's all going
to be very different than if all

506
00:22:42,375 --> 00:22:45,667
they do is watch Nickelodeon,

507
00:22:45,708 --> 00:22:48,458
and the latest
teen-craze movie,

508
00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:51,542
and ridiculous boy band.

509
00:22:51,625 --> 00:22:56,333
If they listen to us
instead of their peers,

510
00:22:56,417 --> 00:23:00,917
their life will go longer,
their life will go better.

511
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,417
Their life will go longer,
their life will go better,

512
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:05,833
and so will yours.

513
00:23:05,875 --> 00:23:07,417
I saw it yesterday.

514
00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:12,333
I was preaching in Toronto and I
was sitting backstage with

515
00:23:12,375 --> 00:23:15,833
three generations, a friend
of mine who's a pastor,

516
00:23:15,917 --> 00:23:20,250
his sons who are pastors,
and his dad who loves Jesus.

517
00:23:20,333 --> 00:23:23,500
His dad was married
53 years to a woman

518
00:23:23,583 --> 00:23:26,500
he loved with all of his heart.

519
00:23:26,583 --> 00:23:30,333
And I saw the patriarch
sitting next to his sons,

520
00:23:30,417 --> 00:23:35,042
sitting next to his grandsons,
and they were asking him,

521
00:23:35,125 --> 00:23:36,458
"How you doing, Pops?

522
00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:37,833
You miss grandma?"

523
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,250
"I do.

524
00:23:39,333 --> 00:23:42,250
"I loved her with all my heart.
I'd never marry another woman.

525
00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:43,667
"She's still my wife.

526
00:23:43,708 --> 00:23:45,167
She's in heaven waiting for me."

527
00:23:45,208 --> 00:23:47,500
The guy's in his 70s.

528
00:23:47,583 --> 00:23:52,250
He told his grandsons, "You
know, when I was about your age,

529
00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:54,542
"I was married, but I was a boy.

530
00:23:54,625 --> 00:23:56,750
"I didn't act like a man
and your grandmother

531
00:23:56,833 --> 00:23:58,750
suffered because of that."

532
00:23:58,833 --> 00:24:00,833
And he said,
"One day, God convicted me,

533
00:24:00,875 --> 00:24:03,833
"and I approached her, and I
asked her, 'Tell me the secret,

534
00:24:03,875 --> 00:24:06,500
"'private, quiet prayers
that you never let me hear

535
00:24:06,583 --> 00:24:09,583
that you pray to God for me.'"

536
00:24:09,667 --> 00:24:11,542
Men, that's a dangerous
question, is it not?

537
00:24:11,625 --> 00:24:14,042
How many of you don't want
to know the answer

538
00:24:14,125 --> 00:24:15,542
to that question.

539
00:24:15,625 --> 00:24:17,750
And he said, "She was
reticent to tell me,

540
00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:20,958
"and finally I told her, 'I just
really need you to tell me

541
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,208
what your secret, quiet
prayers are about me.'"

542
00:24:23,292 --> 00:24:25,667
And he said, "She told
me, and it broke me,

543
00:24:25,708 --> 00:24:29,042
"and it taught me what I needed
to do to love that woman well

544
00:24:29,125 --> 00:24:31,250
for the rest of my life."

545
00:24:31,333 --> 00:24:35,542
Wow. Wow.

546
00:24:35,625 --> 00:24:40,250
The grandson who was listening
has been married 2 months.

547
00:24:40,333 --> 00:24:43,208
Do you think that's going
to improve his marriage?

548
00:24:43,292 --> 00:24:46,750
You think if this kid
listens to his grandpa,

549
00:24:46,833 --> 00:24:49,458
it's going to affect his
family and his future?

550
00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:54,042
Absolutely. Absolutely.

551
00:24:54,125 --> 00:25:00,417
Next question, how do we
honor dishonorable fathers

552
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:01,833
and mothers?

553
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:03,833
How many of you,
this is your objection?

554
00:25:03,875 --> 00:25:05,333
You've already been there.

555
00:25:05,375 --> 00:25:07,833
As soon as I said honor,
you immediately pulled

556
00:25:07,875 --> 00:25:10,000
the emergency break
in your soul.

557
00:25:10,083 --> 00:25:13,458
You're like, "I'm not
going that direction."

558
00:25:13,500 --> 00:25:16,333
And immediately, what happens
is that the hurt

559
00:25:16,417 --> 00:25:18,667
overtakes the honor.

560
00:25:18,708 --> 00:25:21,042
Your first thought
is, "You don't--nope,

561
00:25:21,125 --> 00:25:22,458
"you don't know my mom.

562
00:25:22,500 --> 00:25:23,833
"You don't know my dad.

563
00:25:23,917 --> 00:25:25,333
"You don't know what they said.

564
00:25:25,417 --> 00:25:26,833
"You don't know what they did.

565
00:25:26,917 --> 00:25:28,833
"You don't know what
they failed to do.

566
00:25:28,917 --> 00:25:30,542
"You don't know
what they still do.

567
00:25:30,625 --> 00:25:32,667
You don't--they're dead.
You don't understand."

568
00:25:32,708 --> 00:25:35,958
And all of a sudden,
the hurt wells up.

569
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,833
Am I saying you
shouldn't be hurt?

570
00:25:37,875 --> 00:25:39,458
I'm not saying that at all.

571
00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:41,958
Maybe what they have done
or failed to do hurts

572
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,042
the heart of God,
the Father heart of God.

573
00:25:45,125 --> 00:25:47,167
I'm not saying you
shouldn't be hurt,

574
00:25:47,208 --> 00:25:49,333
but the Bible doesn't
have exception clauses for

575
00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:52,333
dishonorable parents, so how do
we honor dishonorable parents?

576
00:25:52,375 --> 00:25:54,833
Again, don't raise your
hand, but how many of you,

577
00:25:54,875 --> 00:25:56,833
this is your situation?

578
00:25:56,875 --> 00:25:58,542
You're like, "Well, my
parents are dishonorable.

579
00:25:58,625 --> 00:26:00,917
How do I honor them?"

580
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,917
It's like cheering
for a criminal, right?

581
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:07,333
There's something in the soul
that feels wrong about that.

582
00:26:07,375 --> 00:26:09,500
Let me give you some ways.
Give grace.

583
00:26:09,583 --> 00:26:11,750
First of all, some of
you are too idealistic.

584
00:26:11,833 --> 00:26:13,833
Your expectations
are unreasonable.

585
00:26:13,917 --> 00:26:16,208
Even if Jesus was your father,
you'd still say,

586
00:26:16,292 --> 00:26:18,208
"Well, I didn't like his beard."

587
00:26:18,292 --> 00:26:20,250
I mean, you'd find
something, right?

588
00:26:20,333 --> 00:26:25,167
Like some of you, you've created
expectations on your parents

589
00:26:25,208 --> 00:26:28,167
that are simply unreasonable.

590
00:26:28,208 --> 00:26:29,917
The Bible says
that it's a glory

591
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,000
to overlook an offense.

592
00:26:32,083 --> 00:26:33,750
Some of you just
need to realize,

593
00:26:33,833 --> 00:26:37,250
"I am expecting far more of them
than I ever expect of myself."

594
00:26:37,333 --> 00:26:39,958
And sometimes you've got to
give a little grace and say,

595
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,333
"You know what?

596
00:26:41,417 --> 00:26:43,125
"When your parents
are fallen sinners,

597
00:26:43,167 --> 00:26:44,958
it's not always
going to be awesome."

598
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,625
Give forgiveness.

599
00:26:47,667 --> 00:26:50,417
This is to guard your
heart from bitterness.

600
00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:53,333
If you don't forgive
your parents,

601
00:26:53,375 --> 00:26:56,208
you will become
like your parents.

602
00:26:56,292 --> 00:26:57,917
Let me explain to you how.

603
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,500
So, there's a root
of sin in their life.

604
00:27:00,542 --> 00:27:03,125
They sin against you.

605
00:27:03,167 --> 00:27:05,833
It's like you're infected now.

606
00:27:05,875 --> 00:27:09,417
Forgiveness is how you are
cleansed from that root of

607
00:27:09,500 --> 00:27:12,250
bitterness, from that infection.

608
00:27:12,333 --> 00:27:15,042
If you don't forgive, then
the sin that lived in them

609
00:27:15,125 --> 00:27:17,250
now lives in you,
and it's transmitted,

610
00:27:17,333 --> 00:27:21,958
transmuted through
the bitterness.

611
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,958
You ever see somebody that hates
their parent and then grows up

612
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,250
to become just like them?

613
00:27:27,333 --> 00:27:30,250
It's because they
never forgave them.

614
00:27:30,333 --> 00:27:32,042
My daughter Ashley is 16.

615
00:27:32,125 --> 00:27:34,750
She's got her permit,
learning how to drive,

616
00:27:34,833 --> 00:27:36,958
so pray for us all.

617
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,667
It's one of those seasons.

618
00:27:38,708 --> 00:27:41,667
She's doing pretty good, but
that's why my beard is gray.

619
00:27:41,708 --> 00:27:46,833
Nonetheless, one of the first
things I had to teach her was if

620
00:27:46,917 --> 00:27:50,417
there was something she was
afraid she was going to hit,

621
00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:52,750
guess what she fixated on?

622
00:27:52,833 --> 00:27:54,958
That which she was
trying to avoid.

623
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:56,917
Any of you learned
this the hard way?

624
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,417
You're like, "I don't want
to cross the yellow line.

625
00:27:59,500 --> 00:28:02,208
"I don't want to--oh my gosh,
I'm over the yellow line.

626
00:28:02,292 --> 00:28:03,917
"I don't want to hit
the mailbox.

627
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,417
"I don't want to hit
the mail--how come it's going

628
00:28:06,500 --> 00:28:07,833
toward the mailbox?"

629
00:28:07,875 --> 00:28:09,208
Why is it?

630
00:28:09,292 --> 00:28:11,333
Because wherever you're looking,
that's where you're going,

631
00:28:11,417 --> 00:28:13,750
and if you're always
looking at your mother,

632
00:28:13,833 --> 00:28:15,250
you're always looking
at your father,

633
00:28:15,333 --> 00:28:16,750
you're always
looking at your past,

634
00:28:16,833 --> 00:28:18,250
you're always
looking at your hurt,

635
00:28:18,333 --> 00:28:19,750
you're always looking
at your suffering,

636
00:28:19,833 --> 00:28:22,000
you're always
looking at their sin,

637
00:28:22,083 --> 00:28:24,417
that's where your life course
is going to veer.

638
00:28:24,500 --> 00:28:26,167
Do you understand what
I'm talking about?

639
00:28:26,208 --> 00:28:28,042
And forgiveness is
saying, "You know what?

640
00:28:28,125 --> 00:28:30,000
"What you did was wrong.

641
00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:32,500
"Either justice came at
the cross where Jesus died

642
00:28:32,583 --> 00:28:34,833
"for it or justice
will come at the end

643
00:28:34,917 --> 00:28:37,500
"when you stand before Jesus
and give an account for it,

644
00:28:37,583 --> 00:28:39,417
"but, you know,
between you and me,

645
00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:40,833
"I'm going to forgive.

646
00:28:40,875 --> 00:28:44,208
"I'm going to leave it Jesus
so I can move on with my life

647
00:28:44,292 --> 00:28:46,250
and stop looking at you."

648
00:28:46,333 --> 00:28:49,417
Not that you ignore them, or you
hate them, or you despise them,

649
00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:51,042
but they don't
become the guiding,

650
00:28:51,125 --> 00:28:54,708
controlling center of your life,
that the bitterness or the hurt

651
00:28:54,792 --> 00:28:57,667
from your mother or father--it's
not something that's, you know,

652
00:28:57,708 --> 00:29:01,000
out in front of your proverbial
vehicle and that which

653
00:29:01,083 --> 00:29:02,917
you're constantly
veering toward.

654
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,625
I can tell you a devastating
story that comes to mind.

655
00:29:05,667 --> 00:29:08,125
I knew a guy, his father was
an overbearing, legalistic,

656
00:29:08,167 --> 00:29:09,500
religious guy.

657
00:29:09,583 --> 00:29:11,708
Pushed, pushed, pushed
the mother down like she was

658
00:29:11,792 --> 00:29:15,167
not just one of the children,
but the worst child of all,

659
00:29:15,208 --> 00:29:20,708
and berated her like she was
just a hated, despised child.

660
00:29:20,792 --> 00:29:24,833
And this man was
impossible to live with,

661
00:29:24,875 --> 00:29:28,042
a religious blockhead.

662
00:29:28,125 --> 00:29:31,542
It got to the point where
his very sweet wife,

663
00:29:31,625 --> 00:29:35,667
I would say to the point of
enabling and codependent--when

664
00:29:35,708 --> 00:29:38,708
they got older and the kids were
raised, she didn't divorce him,

665
00:29:38,792 --> 00:29:41,208
but she moved out because
she just couldn't even be

666
00:29:41,292 --> 00:29:42,625
around the guy.

667
00:29:42,667 --> 00:29:46,042
Well, his son grew up
hating him, despising him,

668
00:29:46,125 --> 00:29:51,667
obsessing over him, but bitter
against him and unforgiving.

669
00:29:51,708 --> 00:29:57,500
That son grew up to be just like
his father, and if you told him,

670
00:29:57,583 --> 00:29:59,167
"You're like your father,"

671
00:29:59,208 --> 00:30:02,208
he would be on
the verge of violence.

672
00:30:02,292 --> 00:30:04,708
It was the greatest offense.

673
00:30:04,792 --> 00:30:09,833
Lo and behold,
his wife moved out

674
00:30:09,917 --> 00:30:12,583
and he lives alone,

675
00:30:12,667 --> 00:30:15,833
just like his father.

676
00:30:15,917 --> 00:30:17,792
Just like his father.

677
00:30:17,833 --> 00:30:20,792
If he would have forgiven his
father and handed it to Jesus,

678
00:30:20,833 --> 00:30:24,667
he could have moved
on with his life.

679
00:30:24,750 --> 00:30:26,167
Give honor.

680
00:30:26,250 --> 00:30:28,667
I know it says to honor
your mother and father,

681
00:30:28,750 --> 00:30:31,083
so it seems like we
should honor them.

682
00:30:31,167 --> 00:30:36,500
And one of the ways we honor
them is by honoring them, OK?

683
00:30:36,542 --> 00:30:40,875
Sometimes this means if you
can't say something nice,

684
00:30:40,958 --> 00:30:44,083
you don't say anything at all.

685
00:30:44,167 --> 00:30:46,167
You say, "Well, I can't
say anything good."

686
00:30:46,250 --> 00:30:52,458
Then maybe certain things
shouldn't be said publicly.

687
00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:54,792
Maybe privately
with your spouse,

688
00:30:54,833 --> 00:30:56,667
you're telling them your story.

689
00:30:56,708 --> 00:30:58,375
Maybe for your kids,
you're warning them

690
00:30:58,458 --> 00:31:00,042
about the family history.

691
00:31:00,125 --> 00:31:02,542
That's OK.

692
00:31:02,625 --> 00:31:06,167
Before the service, I was
talking to somebody

693
00:31:06,208 --> 00:31:08,167
who doesn't have a father.

694
00:31:08,208 --> 00:31:10,167
I said, "How can you
honor your father

695
00:31:10,208 --> 00:31:11,917
when you don't even have
a father?"

696
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:13,917
He said, "I can be
a better father."

697
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,333
That's true.

698
00:31:15,375 --> 00:31:16,708
You know what I want?

699
00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:21,333
I want my children to grow up
and to be more godly than me.

700
00:31:21,375 --> 00:31:23,542
And if they are
more godly than me,

701
00:31:23,625 --> 00:31:26,458
that's actually honoring to me.

702
00:31:26,500 --> 00:31:30,167
So even if you have dishonorable
mother, dishonorable father,

703
00:31:30,208 --> 00:31:33,250
if by the grace of God you
become a better person,

704
00:31:33,333 --> 00:31:35,708
a better husband, a better
father, a better wife,

705
00:31:35,792 --> 00:31:39,250
a better mother, that
is honoring them.

706
00:31:39,333 --> 00:31:41,958
And one of the ways we
honor is--in the military,

707
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,167
they have a term,
"Salute the uniform."

708
00:31:44,208 --> 00:31:46,500
You understand that?

709
00:31:46,583 --> 00:31:48,542
Salute the uniform.

710
00:31:48,625 --> 00:31:53,042
What it means is, "I don't
really have a lot of respect

711
00:31:53,125 --> 00:31:57,667
for the person in the uniform,
but I respect the uniform."

712
00:31:57,708 --> 00:31:59,542
You see what I'm saying?

713
00:31:59,625 --> 00:32:01,917
It's a lieutenant.
I respect the uniform.

714
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:07,000
I honor the uniform because
many people wear that uniform,

715
00:32:07,042 --> 00:32:08,792
and some of them are honorable,

716
00:32:08,833 --> 00:32:11,125
and if we don't honor
the uniform,

717
00:32:11,167 --> 00:32:12,833
we're actually
going to dishonor

718
00:32:12,917 --> 00:32:14,625
those who wear it honorably.

719
00:32:14,667 --> 00:32:18,250
Here's the point: honor
motherhood, honor fatherhood.

720
00:32:18,333 --> 00:32:21,000
Even if it's hard to honor
your father and mother,

721
00:32:21,083 --> 00:32:23,958
you can honor motherhood
and you can honor fatherhood.

722
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,667
You can salute
the proverbial uniform,

723
00:32:26,708 --> 00:32:29,917
the rank, the office
of mother and father.

724
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,250
Number five, give an example.

725
00:32:32,333 --> 00:32:33,833
Let me tell you this.

726
00:32:33,917 --> 00:32:37,917
If you are a person who does not
honor your mother and father,

727
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:41,917
you will raise children
who do not honor you.

728
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,542
Do you understand that?

729
00:32:43,625 --> 00:32:46,542
How many of you--see, the Bible
talks a lot about you reap

730
00:32:46,625 --> 00:32:47,958
what you, what?

731
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,333
Sow.

732
00:32:49,417 --> 00:32:51,333
So, if you reap dishonor
with your children,

733
00:32:51,417 --> 00:32:53,917
you'll sow dishonor
from your children.

734
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,500
Does that make sense?

735
00:32:56,583 --> 00:32:59,167
So, let's say you're always
talking negatively

736
00:32:59,208 --> 00:33:02,500
about your parents,
or your mom, or your dad,

737
00:33:02,583 --> 00:33:04,917
and you're venting, leaking.

738
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:06,333
Worst case scenario,

739
00:33:06,375 --> 00:33:08,083
you've turned one of your
younger children

740
00:33:08,167 --> 00:33:10,667
into your best friend
and they're your lightening rod

741
00:33:10,708 --> 00:33:13,917
for all of your bitterness.

742
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:19,792
Your dumping all of your life
onto them in a negative way.

743
00:33:21,625 --> 00:33:24,625
Then, what's going to happen
is you're setting an example.

744
00:33:24,667 --> 00:33:26,625
You're saying,
"Here's how we do it.

745
00:33:26,667 --> 00:33:28,417
We dishonor our
mother and father."

746
00:33:28,500 --> 00:33:32,333
You're actually discipling them
to dishonor you by modeling

747
00:33:32,417 --> 00:33:37,542
for them what dishonor
looks like.

748
00:33:37,625 --> 00:33:39,458
And give thanks.

749
00:33:39,500 --> 00:33:42,458
If there's anything
you can thank God for,

750
00:33:42,500 --> 00:33:45,750
that you can thank your
parents for, thank them.

751
00:33:45,833 --> 00:33:49,250
Maybe they were bad Christians,
but they were Christians.

752
00:33:49,333 --> 00:33:52,458
Call them up,
write them a letter,

753
00:33:52,500 --> 00:33:54,625
"I just wanted
to say thank you.

754
00:33:54,667 --> 00:33:57,167
"It really dawned on me that
even having Christian parents

755
00:33:57,208 --> 00:33:59,708
was a real blessing and a gift."

756
00:33:59,792 --> 00:34:02,000
Your dad worked hard to provide.

757
00:34:02,083 --> 00:34:04,792
Maybe he wasn't emotionally
supportive, spiritually present,

758
00:34:04,833 --> 00:34:06,583
but he did provide.

759
00:34:06,667 --> 00:34:10,000
And you know what, there's a lot
of kids didn't even get that.

760
00:34:10,042 --> 00:34:13,750
Sometimes the way we help move
our parents toward being

761
00:34:13,833 --> 00:34:16,958
more honorable is by honoring
them in the ways

762
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,833
that they've already been
honorable.

763
00:34:19,875 --> 00:34:23,167
It's an encouragement.

764
00:34:23,208 --> 00:34:25,167
It's opening the door of honor.

765
00:34:25,208 --> 00:34:27,458
It's not saying, "I honor
everything you've ever done,

766
00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:29,667
"but there are a few things
I'm grateful for,

767
00:34:29,708 --> 00:34:32,042
"and I want to articulate
that appreciate to you.

768
00:34:32,125 --> 00:34:35,042
"And maybe that cracks the door
open so we can get into

769
00:34:35,125 --> 00:34:36,458
"the other stuff later,

770
00:34:36,500 --> 00:34:39,458
"I don't know. But I at least
want to see if there's

771
00:34:39,500 --> 00:34:43,958
an opportunity for this to get
moving in the right direction."

772
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:48,750
And you can be thankful
that God is a Father.

773
00:34:48,833 --> 00:34:52,958
All right, the Bible says
that God is our Father.

774
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:56,458
So if nothing else, you could
be thankful that if

775
00:34:56,500 --> 00:34:58,625
your earthly father fails you,

776
00:34:58,667 --> 00:35:01,792
you have a Heavenly Father
who doesn't.

777
00:35:01,833 --> 00:35:05,125
This dawned on me when I was
a new father with Ashley

778
00:35:05,167 --> 00:35:06,667
and she was a little girl.

779
00:35:06,750 --> 00:35:08,875
And we were laying
in bed, and you know,

780
00:35:08,958 --> 00:35:11,333
she's under the covers, I'm
sitting on the bed reading

781
00:35:11,417 --> 00:35:13,125
the kid's Bible
and praying with her.

782
00:35:13,167 --> 00:35:15,750
And she looked to me, she
had this little kid epiphany.

783
00:35:15,833 --> 00:35:17,250
She said, "I have two daddies.

784
00:35:17,333 --> 00:35:20,000
One in heaven, one on earth,
and they both love me."

785
00:35:20,083 --> 00:35:21,417
Praise God.

786
00:35:21,500 --> 00:35:24,417
But even if you only got
a Father in heaven who's there

787
00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:27,417
for you and loves you, at least
you have a Heavenly Father.

788
00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:29,917
Imagine the people that don't
even know God as Father

789
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:31,417
and don't have any father
whatsoever

790
00:35:31,500 --> 00:35:34,167
or any perfect picture of what
a father should be like

791
00:35:34,208 --> 00:35:35,667
or a parent
should be like.

792
00:35:35,708 --> 00:35:37,167
There's lot to be thankful for.

793
00:35:37,208 --> 00:35:38,833
And Paul says in 1 Timothy 5:1-2

794
00:35:38,917 --> 00:35:40,333
to treat older women
like mothers

795
00:35:40,417 --> 00:35:41,750
and older men
like fathers,

796
00:35:41,833 --> 00:35:44,458
so in the church family, there
are those who function like

797
00:35:44,500 --> 00:35:46,458
spiritual fathers and mothers.

798
00:35:46,500 --> 00:35:48,417
You can go to them
and ask questions,

799
00:35:48,500 --> 00:35:50,833
and join their Community Group,
and seek counsel from them,

800
00:35:50,917 --> 00:35:53,500
and see how they live their
life, and love their spouse,

801
00:35:53,583 --> 00:35:54,917
and raise their kids.

802
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,458
This whole concept of
fatherhood and motherhood,

803
00:35:58,500 --> 00:36:01,917
it has both a biological
and a spiritual dimension,

804
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,000
those that we are genetically
descended from and those that

805
00:36:05,042 --> 00:36:07,500
we're spiritual influenced by.

806
00:36:07,583 --> 00:36:09,208
Lots to be thankful for.

807
00:36:09,292 --> 00:36:11,208
Anybody said, "But I
don't have a mother

808
00:36:11,292 --> 00:36:13,417
"who really imparts a lot
of wisdom and encouragement,

809
00:36:13,500 --> 00:36:14,917
"but in the family of God,

810
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:18,333
"I do know an older woman or an
older man who loves the Lord,

811
00:36:18,375 --> 00:36:20,333
"and they are,
for me, in that position,

812
00:36:20,375 --> 00:36:22,708
"of like a spiritual
father and mother,

813
00:36:22,792 --> 00:36:26,500
and I praise God
for that," amen?

814
00:36:29,167 --> 00:36:31,750
How do we honor
father and mother?

815
00:36:31,833 --> 00:36:35,458
Now, how many of you would agree
that the teen years sometimes

816
00:36:35,500 --> 00:36:37,958
are the most complicated?

817
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,708
Some of you don't
have teenagers yet.

818
00:36:39,792 --> 00:36:41,917
How many of you do
and you would say,

819
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,542
"Yeah, this honor issue is
a big issue for teenagers.

820
00:36:44,625 --> 00:36:46,833
"That's why I drug mine
to Mars Hill today.

821
00:36:46,917 --> 00:36:48,833
"I've been looking
forward to this sermon.

822
00:36:48,917 --> 00:36:50,958
"I made sure that
my kids made it.

823
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,458
"We're going to be here for all
the services today

824
00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:55,833
because my kids are not getting
the big idea."

825
00:36:55,917 --> 00:36:58,458
OK, we live under
the New Covenant.

826
00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:00,167
Under the Old Covenant,

827
00:37:00,250 --> 00:37:04,292
this was actually punishable
by death, OK?

828
00:37:04,333 --> 00:37:07,000
So all you teenage kids, put
your phone down, pay attention,

829
00:37:07,083 --> 00:37:08,417
all right?

830
00:37:08,500 --> 00:37:10,625
We're going to read
a little Bible together, OK?

831
00:37:10,667 --> 00:37:12,000
This should scare
you, teenagers.

832
00:37:12,083 --> 00:37:13,958
You should sleep with
one eye open, OK?

833
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:15,458
Here we go.

834
00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:17,333
Deuteronomy 21:18-19, 21,

835
00:37:17,417 --> 00:37:21,750
"If a man has a stubborn
and rebellious son."

836
00:37:21,833 --> 00:37:24,333
Some of you say, "Well,
this is an old book.

837
00:37:24,417 --> 00:37:26,542
It no longer applies to us."

838
00:37:26,625 --> 00:37:28,125
Oh, yes it does.

839
00:37:28,167 --> 00:37:30,542
Anyone ever seen a stubborn
and rebellious son?

840
00:37:30,625 --> 00:37:33,750
Any of you not seen a son who
was stubborn and rebellious?

841
00:37:33,833 --> 00:37:39,500
OK, "Who will not obey
the voice of his father."

842
00:37:39,583 --> 00:37:44,208
Dad has told the kid in various
inflections, tones, volumes.

843
00:37:46,375 --> 00:37:48,958
"Or the voice of his mother."

844
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,333
So, Mom and Dad are
singing the same song.

845
00:37:52,375 --> 00:37:55,667
"And, though they discipline
him"--there's consequences--

846
00:37:55,708 --> 00:37:59,542
"will not listen to them, then
his father and mother shall take

847
00:37:59,625 --> 00:38:03,000
"hold of him, then all the men
of the city shall stone him

848
00:38:03,042 --> 00:38:04,667
to death with stones."

849
00:38:04,750 --> 00:38:06,417
OK, some of you
teenagers are like,

850
00:38:06,500 --> 00:38:09,125
"Oh, so if I rebel against my
parents, I get stoned?"

851
00:38:09,167 --> 00:38:10,542
It's not like that.

852
00:38:10,625 --> 00:38:13,625
It's not what you're
thinking, right?

853
00:38:13,667 --> 00:38:17,250
Being stoned is what's causing
you not rebel--to rebel against

854
00:38:17,333 --> 00:38:20,042
your parents, and then there'll
be another kind of stoning

855
00:38:20,125 --> 00:38:21,958
as a result
of you're being stoned.

856
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,542
You'll be stoned
in a different way, OK?

857
00:38:24,625 --> 00:38:25,958
There's debate on this.

858
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,667
Some think it's throwing rocks
at the kid until he dies.

859
00:38:28,708 --> 00:38:30,833
Others think it's putting
the kid in a pit

860
00:38:30,917 --> 00:38:32,833
and dropping a huge boulder
on his head.

861
00:38:32,917 --> 00:38:35,042
How many parents are
like, "I've got a verse.

862
00:38:35,125 --> 00:38:36,542
"We're done.
We're going home now.

863
00:38:36,625 --> 00:38:38,750
"We've got all we needed.
That's all we needed.

864
00:38:38,833 --> 00:38:41,458
We nailed it.
Thanks, Pastor Mark."

865
00:38:41,500 --> 00:38:43,542
Are we going to do that today?

866
00:38:43,625 --> 00:38:45,708
No.

867
00:38:45,792 --> 00:38:51,042
Teenage children--
we feel like it sometimes.

868
00:38:51,125 --> 00:38:52,750
How many of you are like,

869
00:38:52,833 --> 00:38:55,500
"If I had a hole in my
yard and a boulder,

870
00:38:55,583 --> 00:38:59,167
"there are certain days
that kid would not have to worry
about going to school"?

871
00:38:59,208 --> 00:39:02,417
Now, I want you to see that
we live under this covenant of

872
00:39:02,500 --> 00:39:05,125
grace and this long-suffering,
merciful patience.

873
00:39:05,167 --> 00:39:07,417
And let's say that--
let me just say this,

874
00:39:07,500 --> 00:39:09,500
that parents didn't
often do this.

875
00:39:09,583 --> 00:39:15,333
This was not common, but how
many of us really see rebellion

876
00:39:15,417 --> 00:39:20,542
against mother
and father as this severe?

877
00:39:20,625 --> 00:39:22,667
See, because here's the deal:

878
00:39:22,708 --> 00:39:26,250
we live in a day when we're
told children are not sinners,

879
00:39:26,333 --> 00:39:29,667
they're basically good,
you need to not raise them,

880
00:39:29,708 --> 00:39:34,667
you need to let them grow to
become whoever they will become.

881
00:39:34,708 --> 00:39:36,750
Let me tell you this:

882
00:39:36,833 --> 00:39:41,958
it's easy to grow weeds;
it's hard to grow fruit.

883
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:46,167
It's easy to grow weeds;
it's hard to tend a garden.

884
00:39:46,208 --> 00:39:48,042
The parenting
philosophy that says,

885
00:39:48,125 --> 00:39:50,417
"We'll just let them become
who they will become,"

886
00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:54,333
well, they have a sin nature.

887
00:39:54,375 --> 00:39:56,833
If you want to cultivate
a harvest of righteousness

888
00:39:56,917 --> 00:39:59,333
in your child, it means
they need a new nature,

889
00:39:59,417 --> 00:40:02,708
instruction, discipline,
repentance, correction.

890
00:40:02,792 --> 00:40:05,958
Any parent that does not
instruct and correct

891
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,750
their child, the Bible
says, hates them.

892
00:40:08,833 --> 00:40:10,792
It's not loving.

893
00:40:10,833 --> 00:40:12,958
Their life won't go long.

894
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,583
Their life won't go well.

895
00:40:15,667 --> 00:40:18,792
What does this look like
for various life stages?

896
00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:21,667
Well, how do we honor
father and mother?

897
00:40:21,750 --> 00:40:26,167
Let me say it this way.

898
00:40:26,250 --> 00:40:28,833
You are a child
for a little while,

899
00:40:28,917 --> 00:40:32,042
but you're someone's
child forever.

900
00:40:32,125 --> 00:40:34,167
OK, you're a child
for a little while,

901
00:40:34,250 --> 00:40:36,375
but you're someone's
child forever.

902
00:40:36,458 --> 00:40:40,042
And when the Bible says,
"Obey your mother and father,"

903
00:40:40,125 --> 00:40:43,458
it's talking about those
who are little children.

904
00:40:43,500 --> 00:40:47,167
If you're 45, your 70-year-old
mom cannot tell you,

905
00:40:47,250 --> 00:40:52,500
you know, what color to paint
your house.

906
00:40:52,542 --> 00:40:56,000
You'd say, "Mom,"
she'd say, "Obey."

907
00:40:56,042 --> 00:40:57,958
That's over, all right?

908
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,042
That ship has sailed, you know?

909
00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:04,917
I'm not your
little child anymore.

910
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,542
And so what this is talking
about--and what happens is,

911
00:41:08,625 --> 00:41:11,333
most of the time we think,
"Honor your father and mother,"

912
00:41:11,375 --> 00:41:13,458
it's just for little kids,
but actually,

913
00:41:13,500 --> 00:41:15,458
you're someone's child
for your whole life.

914
00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:17,667
Like, I still have
a mom and a dad.

915
00:41:17,708 --> 00:41:19,042
I'm still their child.

916
00:41:19,125 --> 00:41:21,542
Like, I got an e-mail from
my dad last week,

917
00:41:21,625 --> 00:41:22,958
"Hey Marky, how you doing?"

918
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:24,333
He still calls me Marky.

919
00:41:24,417 --> 00:41:27,125
Like, you can't call me
Pastor Marky, but he's my dad,

920
00:41:27,167 --> 00:41:28,500
he can call me Marky.

921
00:41:28,583 --> 00:41:30,708
And he's checking in
on me, "How you doing?

922
00:41:30,792 --> 00:41:33,208
How are the kids?
How can I pray for you?"

923
00:41:33,292 --> 00:41:34,958
Like, well, OK,
I'm still his child,

924
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,958
but I'm not his little boy,
so I need to honor him,

925
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:39,667
but I don't need to obey him.

926
00:41:39,708 --> 00:41:41,458
I need to consider
his instruction,

927
00:41:41,500 --> 00:41:45,208
but not in the same way
that I did when I was 4.

928
00:41:45,292 --> 00:41:47,208
So, there are various stages.

929
00:41:47,292 --> 00:41:49,833
So, what does it look
like for a child to honor

930
00:41:49,917 --> 00:41:51,250
their father and mother?

931
00:41:51,333 --> 00:41:53,458
Well, I can tell you
what it looks like:

932
00:41:53,500 --> 00:41:54,833
it's primarily obedience.

933
00:41:54,917 --> 00:41:57,833
You're a 4-year-old kid, your
mom says, "Clean your room.

934
00:41:57,917 --> 00:41:59,667
Take a nap.
Eat your vegetables."

935
00:41:59,708 --> 00:42:01,292
Guess what you need to do?

936
00:42:01,333 --> 00:42:03,333
What your mom said.

937
00:42:03,375 --> 00:42:07,208
For a young child,
it's primarily obedience.

938
00:42:07,292 --> 00:42:10,208
This means you don't tolerate
screaming, yelling,

939
00:42:10,292 --> 00:42:11,917
kicking, hitting.

940
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:13,958
Some kids have behavior issues
and you're saying,

941
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,333
"OK, we're working on that."

942
00:42:15,417 --> 00:42:17,958
I understand it, good, praise
God, but you're not saying,

943
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,333
"Well, that's
their personality."

944
00:42:20,375 --> 00:42:22,958
All right, I saw this at
a grocery store a while back.

945
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,917
I mean, I was in a grocery
store, and it was, like,

946
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,917
the first time in a long time
to be honest with you.

947
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,917
But I was in a grocery store
and I hear a kid.

948
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,167
It sounds like someone
is butchering a child

949
00:42:34,208 --> 00:42:36,250
for the meat department, right?

950
00:42:36,333 --> 00:42:38,167
Like the kid, "Waaaah!"

951
00:42:38,208 --> 00:42:40,167
just freaking out.

952
00:42:40,208 --> 00:42:42,458
So I'm like,
"What the heck is going on?"

953
00:42:42,500 --> 00:42:44,958
so I go to that side
of the grocery store.

954
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,042
There is a child,
small child, a boy,

955
00:42:47,125 --> 00:42:51,958
laying on the floor having
an absolute nervous fit,

956
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:56,833
screaming tantrum,
breakdown, OK?

957
00:42:56,917 --> 00:43:01,000
And the mother says,
"Just tell me what you want.

958
00:43:01,042 --> 00:43:04,625
I'll give you whatever
you want if you'll stop."

959
00:43:04,667 --> 00:43:07,625
And I thought, "Do you have
any idea what kind of child

960
00:43:07,667 --> 00:43:09,375
"you're raising, Mrs. Bin Laden?

961
00:43:09,458 --> 00:43:15,917
Do you have any idea who
he will grow to become?"

962
00:43:18,500 --> 00:43:21,542
OK, but see,
this is what we do:

963
00:43:21,625 --> 00:43:25,500
we negotiate with our children,
which means they're in charge

964
00:43:25,583 --> 00:43:29,625
and it's a hostage situation.

965
00:43:29,667 --> 00:43:31,833
Oh, the tone changed.

966
00:43:31,917 --> 00:43:34,750
"Oh, it was funny until he
said that truthful part," OK.

967
00:43:34,833 --> 00:43:37,958
Adolescents, what
about for adolescents,

968
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:42,208
those that are
pre-teen and teenagers?

969
00:43:42,292 --> 00:43:46,833
It really looks like,
primarily, respect.

970
00:43:46,875 --> 00:43:50,458
Part of the adolescent phase is
you're going to have your

971
00:43:50,500 --> 00:43:52,958
own ideas and you're going to
disagree with your parents,

972
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:54,833
but you still need
to respect them.

973
00:43:54,875 --> 00:43:57,250
You're not a child,
but you're not an adult,

974
00:43:57,333 --> 00:44:00,333
so you get more freedom than
you did when you were little,

975
00:44:00,375 --> 00:44:04,000
but not as much as you
will when you're 30.

976
00:44:04,083 --> 00:44:07,417
This respect means the way you
talk about your parents

977
00:44:07,500 --> 00:44:11,250
when they're not present,
how you talk to your parents

978
00:44:11,333 --> 00:44:12,750
when they are present.

979
00:44:12,833 --> 00:44:15,042
You're not yelling, "I hate you.
You're stupid.

980
00:44:15,125 --> 00:44:17,542
I'm sick of you,"
slamming the door, threatening,

981
00:44:17,625 --> 00:44:20,708
turning your back, escalating.

982
00:44:20,792 --> 00:44:22,792
That's not honoring.

983
00:44:23,500 --> 00:44:24,917
That's not honoring.

984
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:27,125
Now, in those moments,
a parent's going to get

985
00:44:27,167 --> 00:44:30,125
very frustrated, and what you're
going to be tempted to do is

986
00:44:30,167 --> 00:44:32,750
to act like you're their big
brother or their big sister.

987
00:44:32,833 --> 00:44:34,958
You need to stay their
mother or father.

988
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:36,417
You can't get
emotionally sucked--

989
00:44:36,500 --> 00:44:39,542
"Well, you think I'm stupid.
You're stupid too.

990
00:44:39,625 --> 00:44:42,250
You have my genetic input so
you're as stupid as--"

991
00:44:42,333 --> 00:44:44,000
you know, like,
all of a sudden--

992
00:44:44,083 --> 00:44:46,208
how many of you have
had those crazy arguments

993
00:44:46,292 --> 00:44:47,708
as teenagers
with your parents.

994
00:44:47,792 --> 00:44:49,708
You said something ridiculous;
they said something ridiculous.

995
00:44:49,792 --> 00:44:51,250
You got emotional;
they got emotional,

996
00:44:51,333 --> 00:44:53,458
You were acting in a way
that was illogical;

997
00:44:53,500 --> 00:44:56,167
they act in way that was
illogical. And at the end,

998
00:44:56,208 --> 00:44:58,833
you're like, "I don't even know
what we're talking about.

999
00:44:58,917 --> 00:45:01,833
And we're both insane."
OK?

1000
00:45:01,875 --> 00:45:04,292
Parents cannot get
down to that child level.

1001
00:45:04,333 --> 00:45:06,000
They need to stay
at the level--

1002
00:45:06,083 --> 00:45:07,500
"I love you.
I'm your parent.

1003
00:45:07,583 --> 00:45:09,417
God gave me
a responsibility for you."

1004
00:45:09,500 --> 00:45:11,958
And sometimes then the kids,
they don't want you to--

1005
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,667
"Don't hug me.
Don't pray for me.

1006
00:45:13,708 --> 00:45:15,042
Don't touch me," right?

1007
00:45:15,125 --> 00:45:17,750
And you're following them around
the house, "I do love you.

1008
00:45:17,833 --> 00:45:20,750
"I'm going to talk to you.
I'm going to watch my tone.

1009
00:45:20,833 --> 00:45:23,750
"I'm going to pray for you.
You're going to get a hug.

1010
00:45:23,833 --> 00:45:25,958
We're going to talk to
Jesus about this," right?

1011
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,167
"There's a reason your door
doesn't have a lock

1012
00:45:28,208 --> 00:45:29,542
"in your room.

1013
00:45:29,625 --> 00:45:30,958
I'm still coming," right?

1014
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,208
It's pursuing
the child like God pursues us.

1015
00:45:33,292 --> 00:45:37,667
How many of you have done
that to God the Father?

1016
00:45:37,708 --> 00:45:40,667
And he's still going
to follow you around,

1017
00:45:40,708 --> 00:45:45,458
kiss you on the head,
love you, and deal with it.

1018
00:45:45,500 --> 00:45:49,250
That's how we parent
in the adolescent season,

1019
00:45:49,333 --> 00:45:54,417
and we wait for those moments
where there's open opportunity

1020
00:45:54,500 --> 00:45:57,917
to speak wisdom into the life of
the child, or to pray for them,

1021
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,208
and to pray over them.

1022
00:46:00,292 --> 00:46:04,375
Well, how about when
a child becomes an adult?

1023
00:46:04,458 --> 00:46:07,833
To honor your father and mother
as an adult transitions from

1024
00:46:07,875 --> 00:46:10,667
obedience, to respect, which
includes seeking wise counsel,

1025
00:46:10,708 --> 00:46:13,750
and teenagers running stuff by
their folks and not just making

1026
00:46:13,833 --> 00:46:15,958
all their decisions
apart from them.

1027
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,625
But as an adult, what honor
looks like is primarily caring

1028
00:46:18,667 --> 00:46:20,833
for your parents.

1029
00:46:20,917 --> 00:46:24,167
See, in the Bible times, they
didn't have social security,

1030
00:46:24,208 --> 00:46:27,250
and retirement, and all of
the governmental safety net

1031
00:46:27,333 --> 00:46:29,750
that we do, so as you got old,

1032
00:46:29,833 --> 00:46:31,750
your kids needed
to look after you.

1033
00:46:31,833 --> 00:46:34,833
And the assumption was they fed
you, housed you, clothed you,

1034
00:46:34,875 --> 00:46:37,333
bathed you, looked after you,
tended to you when you

1035
00:46:37,417 --> 00:46:39,417
were little and couldn't
care for yourself.

1036
00:46:39,500 --> 00:46:43,833
As they get older,
you will return the favor.

1037
00:46:43,917 --> 00:46:49,750
This word in Exodus 20:12 is
primarily for older children

1038
00:46:49,833 --> 00:46:51,542
with elderly parents.

1039
00:46:51,625 --> 00:46:58,458
It's not primarily for younger
parents with small children.

1040
00:46:58,500 --> 00:47:01,000
And see, today, we feel
like the government's role

1041
00:47:01,083 --> 00:47:03,167
is take care of our parents,

1042
00:47:03,250 --> 00:47:05,833
and the Bible says that
it's our role to care

1043
00:47:05,875 --> 00:47:07,833
for our parents, particularly
the parents

1044
00:47:07,875 --> 00:47:10,125
that have cared for us.

1045
00:47:10,167 --> 00:47:12,542
You say, "Well, does that mean
Social Security, or retirement,

1046
00:47:12,625 --> 00:47:14,750
or nursing homes,
or hospice care is sinful?"

1047
00:47:14,833 --> 00:47:17,708
I'm not saying that, but I'm
saying that the children need

1048
00:47:17,792 --> 00:47:21,167
to own it as a responsibility to
love and care for their parents

1049
00:47:21,208 --> 00:47:23,542
in their old age.

1050
00:47:23,625 --> 00:47:26,542
And that's one of the ways we,
preserve a generational legacy

1051
00:47:26,625 --> 00:47:31,042
and we break this broken culture,
where everybody moves away,

1052
00:47:31,125 --> 00:47:33,500
and the children are assumed
to rebel against their parents,

1053
00:47:33,583 --> 00:47:36,500
and once the kids are grown,
mom and dad get a divorce

1054
00:47:36,583 --> 00:47:39,000
because they no longer have
any reason to be together,

1055
00:47:39,083 --> 00:47:41,500
and we just put grandma
or grandpa in some home,

1056
00:47:41,583 --> 00:47:43,708
and we let the government
take care of it,

1057
00:47:43,792 --> 00:47:46,208
and we never visit them, and
everybody just lives rebellious,

1058
00:47:46,292 --> 00:47:48,417
autonomous lives, and then
we all just self medicate,

1059
00:47:48,500 --> 00:47:51,417
and we go to the therapist,
and we talk about our hurt,

1060
00:47:51,500 --> 00:47:54,833
and we wonder why
it's not working.

1061
00:47:54,917 --> 00:47:57,750
Because nobody honors
their mother and father,

1062
00:47:57,833 --> 00:48:03,667
and it leads to isolation, and
separation, and devastation.

1063
00:48:08,042 --> 00:48:11,833
I'll give you an example on this
last point from the Lord Jesus.

1064
00:48:11,917 --> 00:48:17,625
John 19:26-27, the Lord Jesus
is hanging on the cross,

1065
00:48:17,667 --> 00:48:20,833
suffering and dying in our place
for our sins as our Savior.

1066
00:48:20,917 --> 00:48:22,333
He looks down.

1067
00:48:22,375 --> 00:48:24,333
Who's at the foot of his cross?

1068
00:48:24,375 --> 00:48:25,833
His mother, Mary.

1069
00:48:25,917 --> 00:48:29,333
Standing next to him or near
him is John, I would say,

1070
00:48:29,417 --> 00:48:33,958
his best friend, a guy who's
like a kid brother to him.

1071
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,750
Jesus looks at his mother,
looks at his friend,

1072
00:48:36,833 --> 00:48:39,333
and what does he tell John?

1073
00:48:39,417 --> 00:48:42,542
"Take care of my mom.

1074
00:48:42,625 --> 00:48:45,625
Take care of my mom."

1075
00:48:45,667 --> 00:48:47,417
He's honoring his mother.

1076
00:48:47,500 --> 00:48:50,250
Jesus loved his mother,
Jesus honored his mother,

1077
00:48:50,333 --> 00:48:53,417
but Jesus was
never a mama's boy.

1078
00:48:53,500 --> 00:48:56,333
A lot of men need to learn
how to thread that needle.

1079
00:48:56,417 --> 00:48:59,000
You know the difference between
a man who honors his mother

1080
00:48:59,083 --> 00:49:01,375
and a guy who's a mama's boy?

1081
00:49:01,458 --> 00:49:04,000
Jesus loved his mother,
Jesus honored his mother,

1082
00:49:04,042 --> 00:49:06,833
Jesus looked after his mother,
Jesus cared for his mother,

1083
00:49:06,875 --> 00:49:10,750
but Jesus was not a mama's boy.

1084
00:49:10,833 --> 00:49:13,042
That's why Paul tells
us in 1 Timothy 5,

1085
00:49:13,125 --> 00:49:16,250
I think it's verses 3 and 4,
"If any man does not provide

1086
00:49:16,333 --> 00:49:17,750
"for the needs of his family,

1087
00:49:17,833 --> 00:49:21,542
he's denied the faith and he's
worse than an unbeliever."

1088
00:49:21,625 --> 00:49:23,667
If you're an able-bodied,
working, grown,

1089
00:49:23,708 --> 00:49:27,417
godly man and your mom is
starving, and suffering,

1090
00:49:27,500 --> 00:49:30,167
and struggling, that's
your responsibility.

1091
00:49:30,208 --> 00:49:36,500
Don't just vote for a candidate
who will take care of your mom.

1092
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:43,958
Another one--it's
a lot for one verse, huh?

1093
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,667
How could fathers
and mothers parent honorably?

1094
00:49:46,708 --> 00:49:48,750
A couple things I
need you to know.

1095
00:49:48,833 --> 00:49:51,458
Your child is your blessing.

1096
00:49:51,500 --> 00:49:54,417
Some of you say, "Not today."

1097
00:49:54,500 --> 00:49:57,833
OK, well, you're
working on your blessing

1098
00:49:57,917 --> 00:50:00,542
and maybe it'll blossom
in the future.

1099
00:50:00,625 --> 00:50:02,917
I think it's
Psalm 127:3 that says that,

1100
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:04,958
"Children are a blessing."

1101
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:06,833
They don't always
feel like a blessing,

1102
00:50:06,917 --> 00:50:08,917
but they are a blessing.

1103
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:12,875
To parent honorably and to
cultivate in the children honor

1104
00:50:12,958 --> 00:50:15,375
in return starts with
thinking biblically

1105
00:50:15,458 --> 00:50:17,458
that children are a blessing.

1106
00:50:17,500 --> 00:50:19,167
In our culture, they're
a burden, right?

1107
00:50:19,250 --> 00:50:23,375
Recent magazine cover,
"The Child-Free Life."

1108
00:50:23,458 --> 00:50:27,000
It should have said,
"The Blessing-Free Life."

1109
00:50:27,042 --> 00:50:30,500
I was talking to Gideon,
my 7-year-old son, recently.

1110
00:50:30,542 --> 00:50:34,083
A foolish father left his wife
and children to run off

1111
00:50:34,167 --> 00:50:36,958
with a younger woman.

1112
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:42,458
You know, just another guy who
isn't thinking like a patriarch

1113
00:50:42,500 --> 00:50:46,667
and wanting to meet his
grandkids and great-grandkids,

1114
00:50:46,708 --> 00:50:50,583
but wants to run off
with someone their age.

1115
00:50:50,667 --> 00:50:54,792
And we were talking about
this, and Gideon, at 7,

1116
00:50:54,833 --> 00:50:57,667
he had the most
precious insight.

1117
00:50:57,708 --> 00:51:03,625
He said, "Dad, why would
anyone leave their blessing?"

1118
00:51:08,083 --> 00:51:13,542
I said, "Buddy Gideon,
sin is foolishness.

1119
00:51:13,625 --> 00:51:15,750
It doesn't make any sense."

1120
00:51:15,833 --> 00:51:17,208
I kissed him on the forehead.

1121
00:51:17,292 --> 00:51:19,333
I said, "Gideon,
you're my blessing,

1122
00:51:19,417 --> 00:51:21,667
"and I'm never
going to leave you.

1123
00:51:21,708 --> 00:51:26,500
I don't know why men
leave their blessing."

1124
00:51:28,500 --> 00:51:33,125
The "want to" precedes the "how to."

1125
00:51:33,167 --> 00:51:35,333
Seeing your children as
a blessing will help you

1126
00:51:35,417 --> 00:51:37,333
raise them to be a blessing.

1127
00:51:37,417 --> 00:51:40,667
Seeing them as a burden will
cause you to raise them as if

1128
00:51:40,708 --> 00:51:43,333
they were a burden.

1129
00:51:43,417 --> 00:51:46,208
Prophetically, I just feel
called to tell you this.

1130
00:51:46,292 --> 00:51:50,042
The Father considers
you a blessing, OK?

1131
00:51:50,125 --> 00:51:52,750
God's a Father;
you're his blessing.

1132
00:51:52,833 --> 00:51:55,458
You're his blessing.

1133
00:51:55,500 --> 00:51:57,958
Some of you say, "I don't
act like his blessing.

1134
00:51:58,000 --> 00:51:59,458
I don't feel like his blessing."

1135
00:51:59,500 --> 00:52:03,917
You are his blessing, and if
you'll accept the fact that you

1136
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:07,333
are his blessing, you will start
to live in a way

1137
00:52:07,375 --> 00:52:10,333
that blesses him.

1138
00:52:10,375 --> 00:52:12,542
This is where it doesn't
start with your performance;

1139
00:52:12,625 --> 00:52:18,125
it starts with his affection.

1140
00:52:18,167 --> 00:52:22,542
Number two, your child
is your responsibility.

1141
00:52:22,625 --> 00:52:25,333
Job 1:5, Job thinks,
"Maybe my kids have sinned.

1142
00:52:25,417 --> 00:52:27,458
"I'll offer a sacrifice
and confess their sins

1143
00:52:27,500 --> 00:52:28,833
for the Lord."

1144
00:52:28,917 --> 00:52:31,042
You say, "Wait a minute,
what is he doing?"

1145
00:52:31,125 --> 00:52:32,833
Taking responsibility
for his children.

1146
00:52:32,875 --> 00:52:35,208
Your children are not
the school's responsibility.

1147
00:52:35,292 --> 00:52:37,333
Your children are not
the church's responsibility.

1148
00:52:37,375 --> 00:52:43,833
Your children are not
the police's responsibility.

1149
00:52:43,917 --> 00:52:48,333
Your children are not the
rehab center's responsibility.

1150
00:52:48,375 --> 00:52:51,042
You say, "Well, can I not
use any of those things?"

1151
00:52:51,125 --> 00:52:54,125
You can, but you are primarily
responsible for the well-being

1152
00:52:54,167 --> 00:52:58,458
of your children.

1153
00:52:58,500 --> 00:53:02,625
Your goal is not to raise
a child who is moral

1154
00:53:02,667 --> 00:53:04,375
but a worshipper,

1155
00:53:04,458 --> 00:53:06,500
not just a kid who
does the right things

1156
00:53:06,583 --> 00:53:11,125
but a kid who has a new heart,
not just a kid who is

1157
00:53:11,167 --> 00:53:14,250
outwardly compliant
but inwardly loves Jesus.

1158
00:53:14,333 --> 00:53:17,042
And this is incredibly
important because,

1159
00:53:17,125 --> 00:53:19,333
for the sake of their own
comfort and convenience,

1160
00:53:19,375 --> 00:53:21,833
parents tend to just want
a moral child to reduce

1161
00:53:21,917 --> 00:53:23,542
the conflict and chaos

1162
00:53:23,625 --> 00:53:25,750
so that they can have
a better, easier life.

1163
00:53:25,833 --> 00:53:27,542
That's not the goal.

1164
00:53:27,625 --> 00:53:29,250
The children are
your responsibility,

1165
00:53:29,333 --> 00:53:31,917
so you're the first evangelist--
got to tell them about Jesus.

1166
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,917
You're the first pastor--you
got to raise them in the Lord.

1167
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:36,917
You're the one who is
responsible for their

1168
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,333
overall care and well-being.

1169
00:53:38,375 --> 00:53:40,042
They will live
where you put them.

1170
00:53:40,125 --> 00:53:41,750
They will eat what
you feed them.

1171
00:53:41,833 --> 00:53:43,542
They will worship
where you take them.

1172
00:53:43,625 --> 00:53:46,333
They will read
what you hand them.

1173
00:53:46,417 --> 00:53:49,542
They will find other families
to follow and model themselves

1174
00:53:49,625 --> 00:53:53,250
after depending upon who
you surround yourself with.

1175
00:53:53,333 --> 00:53:56,417
And your sons are going to
grow up and be like you, men,

1176
00:53:56,500 --> 00:53:59,667
and your daughters are
going to marry men like you.

1177
00:53:59,708 --> 00:54:02,208
And this is all
your responsibility.

1178
00:54:02,292 --> 00:54:06,000
And they have no theology,
so you have to teach them.

1179
00:54:06,083 --> 00:54:08,333
And they're very vulnerable
to sin and predators,

1180
00:54:08,375 --> 00:54:10,333
and so you need to protect them,

1181
00:54:10,375 --> 00:54:12,333
and watch whose house
they go to,

1182
00:54:12,375 --> 00:54:14,708
and make sure they're not
just doing random overnights.

1183
00:54:14,792 --> 00:54:17,667
And make sure when the dating
years come that you're not just

1184
00:54:17,708 --> 00:54:19,833
saying things like, "Well,
I've loaded my shotgun,"

1185
00:54:19,875 --> 00:54:21,833
because I know that
when men say that,

1186
00:54:21,875 --> 00:54:23,833
they're trying to pretend
that they have taken

1187
00:54:23,875 --> 00:54:25,208
the position of leadership.

1188
00:54:25,292 --> 00:54:26,958
You don't need to
load your shotgun;

1189
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:29,958
you need to love your daughter,
you need to know your daughter,

1190
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:31,667
you need to pray
with your daughter,

1191
00:54:31,708 --> 00:54:33,333
you need to walk
with your daughter,

1192
00:54:33,417 --> 00:54:35,042
you need to invest
in your daughter.

1193
00:54:35,125 --> 00:54:37,750
Because the main thing is
not to blow his head off,

1194
00:54:37,833 --> 00:54:40,250
but to keep her heart.

1195
00:54:40,333 --> 00:54:42,333
They're your responsibility.

1196
00:54:43,708 --> 00:54:45,458
They're your responsibility.

1197
00:54:45,500 --> 00:54:47,500
And government and institutions
cannot do what

1198
00:54:47,583 --> 00:54:50,833
a Spirit-filled parent can.

1199
00:54:50,917 --> 00:54:53,500
And we know that there's
a real problem in the world

1200
00:54:53,583 --> 00:54:55,958
when government and institutions
are trying to separate children

1201
00:54:56,000 --> 00:55:00,333
from their parents so that their
identity and their sexuality

1202
00:55:00,375 --> 00:55:03,000
is separated from their family.

1203
00:55:03,083 --> 00:55:05,000
It's demonic.

1204
00:55:05,042 --> 00:55:07,417
Number three, your
child is your follower.

1205
00:55:07,500 --> 00:55:11,500
You're the leader.
You're the leader.

1206
00:55:11,583 --> 00:55:13,667
Your children--part of their
honoring of you is

1207
00:55:13,708 --> 00:55:16,958
the following of you.

1208
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:19,417
This is where,
in Joshua 24:15, Joshua says,

1209
00:55:19,500 --> 00:55:22,833
"As for me and my
family, we will"--what?

1210
00:55:22,917 --> 00:55:25,667
"We will serve the Lord."

1211
00:55:25,708 --> 00:55:27,917
And you're like,
"Did they all take a vote?"

1212
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:32,208
No, Mom and Dad voted,
and they looked at the kids,

1213
00:55:32,292 --> 00:55:35,042
"We will serve the Lord.

1214
00:55:35,125 --> 00:55:40,708
We will serve the Lord."

1215
00:55:40,792 --> 00:55:46,500
You make a decision and your
children need to follow you.

1216
00:55:46,583 --> 00:55:48,208
They are your followers.

1217
00:55:48,292 --> 00:55:50,250
Now, what happened in
the 1970s and '80s,

1218
00:55:50,333 --> 00:55:52,167
there was a guy
named Benjamin Spock.

1219
00:55:52,208 --> 00:55:55,167
You would have thought he was
smart with a name like that,

1220
00:55:55,208 --> 00:55:56,667
but don't let it fool you.

1221
00:55:56,708 --> 00:55:59,250
He was a psychologist who
came up with this concept

1222
00:55:59,333 --> 00:56:02,000
of basically family democracy,

1223
00:56:02,042 --> 00:56:05,375
that it's not God, parents,
children--there's the org chart.

1224
00:56:05,458 --> 00:56:08,333
It was actually, not
necessarily even God,

1225
00:56:08,375 --> 00:56:11,708
just parents and children.

1226
00:56:11,792 --> 00:56:17,458
The result was that it came to
treating your children as peers.

1227
00:56:17,500 --> 00:56:19,542
"What do they think?
What do they want?

1228
00:56:19,625 --> 00:56:21,500
"We all need to have
consensus, you know,

1229
00:56:21,583 --> 00:56:23,708
and the kids are
alongside of Mom and Dad."

1230
00:56:23,792 --> 00:56:25,125
That's not biblical.

1231
00:56:25,167 --> 00:56:27,750
In fact, that's what you do
if you hate your children.

1232
00:56:27,833 --> 00:56:30,250
So, out of this peer-based
parenting comes this whole,

1233
00:56:30,333 --> 00:56:33,208
the thing you need to do
as a parent is be buddies

1234
00:56:33,292 --> 00:56:34,708
with your teenage kid.

1235
00:56:34,792 --> 00:56:37,708
Now, as they grow older, you
need to shift from, you know,

1236
00:56:37,792 --> 00:56:39,250
giving them directives

1237
00:56:39,333 --> 00:56:43,167
to building the friendship,
for sure,

1238
00:56:43,208 --> 00:56:48,500
but the children do not vote
and negate mom.

1239
00:56:51,500 --> 00:56:54,625
The result is we then
have women who grow up

1240
00:56:54,667 --> 00:56:56,333
and have the cougar phenomena,

1241
00:56:56,375 --> 00:56:58,500
and they're acting like
they're the same age as

1242
00:56:58,583 --> 00:57:01,417
their daughter, interested
in the same boys.

1243
00:57:01,500 --> 00:57:04,417
And we have perverted fathers
who grow up looking at images

1244
00:57:04,500 --> 00:57:10,083
of young girls that are
the same age as their daughter.

1245
00:57:10,167 --> 00:57:12,417
It's a social experiment
that has failed

1246
00:57:12,500 --> 00:57:17,125
because it's not rooted
in the wisdom of God.

1247
00:57:17,167 --> 00:57:20,833
And this influenced a whole
generation of parenting.

1248
00:57:20,917 --> 00:57:23,042
And then you add into it
the counter-culture rebellion

1249
00:57:23,125 --> 00:57:25,333
of the '60s and '70s
and it explains

1250
00:57:25,417 --> 00:57:27,667
the world we have today.

1251
00:57:27,708 --> 00:57:32,458
And it's not working
because it's not godly.

1252
00:57:32,500 --> 00:57:36,833
Well, where do we look?

1253
00:57:36,917 --> 00:57:40,708
As parents, we look
to God as Father.

1254
00:57:40,792 --> 00:57:43,167
We don't look just to our
own mothers and fathers.

1255
00:57:43,208 --> 00:57:45,167
We look beyond that.

1256
00:57:45,208 --> 00:57:48,542
We ask, "What kind of Father is
God, and how does he pursue me,

1257
00:57:48,625 --> 00:57:51,542
"and how does he instruct me,
and how does he correct me,

1258
00:57:51,625 --> 00:57:53,042
and how does he train me?"

1259
00:57:53,125 --> 00:57:55,250
And we take our cues
from the perfect Father,

1260
00:57:55,333 --> 00:58:00,417
and it keeps us informed
and educated as a parent,

1261
00:58:00,500 --> 00:58:02,000
and it keeps us humble.

1262
00:58:02,083 --> 00:58:03,833
We've always got
something to work on,

1263
00:58:03,875 --> 00:58:05,333
which means even
for you parents,

1264
00:58:05,375 --> 00:58:08,333
one of the ways you can open
the door of honoring from

1265
00:58:08,375 --> 00:58:10,750
your children is to, after
the sermon, speak with them,

1266
00:58:10,833 --> 00:58:12,458
be they young or old, and say,

1267
00:58:12,500 --> 00:58:14,667
"Here's how I've sinned against
you and failed you.

1268
00:58:14,708 --> 00:58:17,125
"I'm convicted of that.
I ask your forgiveness of that.

1269
00:58:17,167 --> 00:58:18,625
"I could have done this better.

1270
00:58:18,667 --> 00:58:20,042
I should have done
this different."

1271
00:58:20,125 --> 00:58:22,000
How about those of
you who are children?

1272
00:58:22,083 --> 00:58:23,708
Who do we look to?

1273
00:58:23,792 --> 00:58:26,250
Children are always looking
for peers or somebody just

1274
00:58:26,333 --> 00:58:28,958
a little older than them
to learn from.

1275
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,500
What's amazing to me,
and we'll close with Jesus--

1276
00:58:31,583 --> 00:58:33,333
God became not just a man.

1277
00:58:33,375 --> 00:58:35,458
We always say,
"God became a man."

1278
00:58:35,500 --> 00:58:37,333
True or false,
God became a man?

1279
00:58:37,417 --> 00:58:41,625
True, but first, God
became a really little man.

1280
00:58:41,667 --> 00:58:43,625
We call him a baby.

1281
00:58:43,667 --> 00:58:46,333
Before that,
in his mother's womb.

1282
00:58:46,417 --> 00:58:49,542
How many of you are shocked
that God would come as a baby?

1283
00:58:49,625 --> 00:58:52,833
How many of you, if you were
God, you'd start 30s, 40s.

1284
00:58:52,917 --> 00:58:54,333
You would definitely not start

1285
00:58:54,417 --> 00:58:56,917
anywhere approaching
junior high.

1286
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:01,292
You would not enter
the earth, right?

1287
00:59:01,333 --> 00:59:05,917
God didn't just become a man,
God became a child, a baby,

1288
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:10,375
an unborn baby, and then a born
baby. So here's the deal:

1289
00:59:10,458 --> 00:59:12,833
Jesus isn't just
for grown people.

1290
00:59:12,917 --> 00:59:16,833
Jesus is for all people,
and whether you're a child,

1291
00:59:16,917 --> 00:59:18,667
an adolescent, or an adult,

1292
00:59:18,708 --> 00:59:20,208
whatever stage of life
you're in,

1293
00:59:20,292 --> 00:59:23,208
you can look to the Lord Jesus
and say, "He's been there.

1294
00:59:23,292 --> 00:59:24,917
"I do not have a High Priest

1295
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:26,458
"who's unable
to sympathize with me."

1296
00:59:26,500 --> 00:59:29,000
He's been there.

1297
00:59:29,083 --> 00:59:31,167
Jesus had to obey his parents.

1298
00:59:31,208 --> 00:59:35,625
Now, unlike our children,
he never sinned,

1299
00:59:35,667 --> 00:59:38,250
and he had sinful parents, OK?

1300
00:59:38,333 --> 00:59:40,208
So, I know it's
hard as a sinner

1301
00:59:40,292 --> 00:59:41,625
to have sinful parents.

1302
00:59:41,667 --> 00:59:44,250
Imagine being sinless
with sinful parents.

1303
00:59:44,333 --> 00:59:47,750
Here's where it explains
it in the Bible:

1304
00:59:47,833 --> 00:59:53,542
Luke 2:40, 50-52,
"The child [Jesus] grew," right?

1305
00:59:53,625 --> 00:59:56,500
So, went through the stages
of life and development.

1306
00:59:56,583 --> 01:00:00,250
"And became strong"--
healthy, vibrant--

1307
01:00:00,333 --> 01:00:01,667
"filled with wisdom."

1308
01:00:01,708 --> 01:00:04,333
You're going to hear a lot
of language in Luke about

1309
01:00:04,417 --> 01:00:06,667
the Holy Spirit working
in and through Jesus.

1310
01:00:06,708 --> 01:00:10,250
God became a person, walked
on the earth as a human being,

1311
01:00:10,333 --> 01:00:12,042
one of us.

1312
01:00:12,125 --> 01:00:14,167
How did he resist sin?

1313
01:00:14,208 --> 01:00:16,167
How did he submit
to his parents?

1314
01:00:16,208 --> 01:00:18,458
How did he honor his
father and mother?

1315
01:00:18,500 --> 01:00:21,167
By the indwelling presence
and power of the person

1316
01:00:21,250 --> 01:00:22,750
of the Holy Spirit.

1317
01:00:22,833 --> 01:00:25,958
This is where, to be a good
child of God and our parents,

1318
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,167
to honor our Heavenly Father
and our earthly parents,

1319
01:00:28,208 --> 01:00:30,875
it's going to take
a new nature like Jesus,

1320
01:00:30,958 --> 01:00:33,583
filled by the same
power as Jesus,

1321
01:00:33,667 --> 01:00:35,875
to follow
in the example of Jesus,

1322
01:00:35,958 --> 01:00:38,833
who died for our sin
though he had no sin.

1323
01:00:38,917 --> 01:00:42,375
He lived this perfect life
as an obedient child.

1324
01:00:42,458 --> 01:00:44,792
"Father, into your hands
I commit my spirit.

1325
01:00:44,833 --> 01:00:47,792
Father, not my will
but your will be done."

1326
01:00:47,833 --> 01:00:53,083
The Lord Jesus is the perfect,
sinless, Spirit-filled child,

1327
01:00:53,167 --> 01:00:57,792
and he gives us his perfect
obedience, he dies for our sin,

1328
01:00:57,833 --> 01:01:01,000
and he gives us a new nature
and a new power

1329
01:01:01,083 --> 01:01:02,667
to follow in his example.

1330
01:01:02,708 --> 01:01:04,042
And all of this here

1331
01:01:04,125 --> 01:01:06,042
is at the very beginning
of Jesus' ministry

1332
01:01:06,125 --> 01:01:08,417
where it talks about him
being "filled with wisdom"--

1333
01:01:08,500 --> 01:01:11,042
there's the Holy Spirit--"And
the favor of God was upon him"--

1334
01:01:11,125 --> 01:01:12,833
there's the Holy Spirit.

1335
01:01:12,875 --> 01:01:15,125
It's possible for little
children and young children

1336
01:01:15,167 --> 01:01:17,750
to know the Lord, and
to be filled with the Spirit,

1337
01:01:17,833 --> 01:01:19,542
and to honor their
father and mother,

1338
01:01:19,625 --> 01:01:21,000
and to grow in wisdom.

1339
01:01:21,083 --> 01:01:23,667
We don't need to accept folly,
and rebellion, and anarchy.

1340
01:01:23,708 --> 01:01:25,958
It's not necessary.

1341
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:29,167
"And they did not understand the
saying that he spoke to them."

1342
01:01:29,208 --> 01:01:31,667
How many of you children are
frustrated because your parents

1343
01:01:31,708 --> 01:01:33,750
don't understand you?

1344
01:01:33,833 --> 01:01:35,958
Jesus' parents didn't
understand him.

1345
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:38,167
He just got done
teaching at the temple.

1346
01:01:38,208 --> 01:01:40,333
All right, so all of a sudden,

1347
01:01:40,417 --> 01:01:43,458
teenage Jesus is
a seminary prof,

1348
01:01:43,500 --> 01:01:45,625
and he's trying
to teach his parents.

1349
01:01:45,667 --> 01:01:47,125
They're like,
"We don't understand.

1350
01:01:47,167 --> 01:01:49,333
Let's go home, you've
got to cut the grass."

1351
01:01:49,375 --> 01:01:50,833
"Cut the grass?
I'm the Messiah!

1352
01:01:50,917 --> 01:01:54,042
I'm teaching at the seminary!"

1353
01:01:54,125 --> 01:01:55,458
"We've got a chore chart.

1354
01:01:55,500 --> 01:01:57,958
"Your brother does the dishes
and you cut the grass.

1355
01:01:58,000 --> 01:01:59,458
Time to go cut the grass."

1356
01:01:59,500 --> 01:02:00,917
"I don't cut the grass.

1357
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,333
I've got to atone
for the sin of the world."

1358
01:02:03,375 --> 01:02:05,500
"You can do that after
you cut the grass!"

1359
01:02:05,583 --> 01:02:07,000
His parents don't
understand him,

1360
01:02:07,083 --> 01:02:08,500
but he still submits to them.

1361
01:02:08,583 --> 01:02:10,708
Your parents don't
need to understand you

1362
01:02:10,792 --> 01:02:12,917
for you to obey them.

1363
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,917
Jesus' parents didn't
understand him.

1364
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:19,250
"And he went down with them and
came to Nazareth and was"--what?

1365
01:02:19,333 --> 01:02:21,542
Say it, teenagers.

1366
01:02:21,625 --> 01:02:23,625
Say it, junior high kids.

1367
01:02:23,667 --> 01:02:25,000
Say it!

1368
01:02:25,083 --> 01:02:26,417
What's the word?

1369
01:02:26,500 --> 01:02:27,917
This word, right here.

1370
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:29,417
Hey, hey, put your phone down.

1371
01:02:29,500 --> 01:02:31,167
Look at this.
Another screen up here!

1372
01:02:31,208 --> 01:02:33,167
I've got another screen.
Look at this one.

1373
01:02:33,208 --> 01:02:36,250
What's it say?
Hey, say it louder.

1374
01:02:36,333 --> 01:02:40,333
Your parents want to hear it.

1375
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:45,917
"Submissive!"
Yay!

1376
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:48,125
How many parents are like,
"Good word, good word,

1377
01:02:48,167 --> 01:02:50,167
good word, good word!"

1378
01:02:50,208 --> 01:02:52,167
"Submissive to them.

1379
01:02:52,208 --> 01:02:54,542
And his mother treasured all
these things in her heart."

1380
01:02:54,625 --> 01:02:56,542
Oh, Jesus was
a blessing to his mom.

1381
01:02:56,625 --> 01:02:59,333
Oh, that you children would
be a blessing to your mom,

1382
01:02:59,375 --> 01:03:00,792
to your dad.

1383
01:03:00,833 --> 01:03:05,333
"And Jesus increased in wisdom
and stature

1384
01:03:05,375 --> 01:03:07,625
and in favor with God and man."

1385
01:03:07,667 --> 01:03:09,625
Do you want that?

1386
01:03:09,667 --> 01:03:11,167
Do you want that for yourself?

1387
01:03:11,208 --> 01:03:12,917
Do you want that
for your children?

1388
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:15,667
Yeah, that's what I want.
I want to grow in wisdom.

1389
01:03:15,708 --> 01:03:18,042
I want to grow in strength,
and health, and vitality,

1390
01:03:18,125 --> 01:03:19,542
and favor with God and people.

1391
01:03:19,625 --> 01:03:20,958
That's what I want.

1392
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:22,333
Then, two things.

1393
01:03:22,417 --> 01:03:26,167
Be filled of the Holy Spirit,
listen to your parents so that

1394
01:03:26,208 --> 01:03:30,208
it may go well with you, because
God loves you and his commands

1395
01:03:30,292 --> 01:03:33,667
are good for you, and he
wants a future for you,

1396
01:03:33,708 --> 01:03:38,667
and God's heart is
a Father's heart, amen?

1397
01:03:38,708 --> 01:03:41,667
If you're not a Christian, this
is where you turn from sin,

1398
01:03:41,708 --> 01:03:44,333
you trust in Jesus, you
realize that God is a Father,

1399
01:03:44,417 --> 01:03:45,833
you're a rebellious,
horrible kid,

1400
01:03:45,917 --> 01:03:48,500
and that God should dig
a hole, put you in it,

1401
01:03:48,583 --> 01:03:50,333
and drop a rock on your head.

1402
01:03:50,375 --> 01:03:53,125
And instead,
God came as Jesus Christ,

1403
01:03:53,167 --> 01:03:56,167
and he lived this perfect life
as this obedient child that you

1404
01:03:56,208 --> 01:03:59,167
have not lived, and he died
to pay the death that you

1405
01:03:59,208 --> 01:04:02,125
should pay so that you could be
freed, loved, and forgiven.

1406
01:04:02,167 --> 01:04:04,833
Jesus rises from death to
give you the Holy Spirit,

1407
01:04:04,875 --> 01:04:08,708
to put his power in you so that
you can become more like him.

1408
01:04:08,792 --> 01:04:11,958
If you've not done that, this is
where you give yourself to Jesus

1409
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:15,625
and you become a son
or a daughter of God the Father,

1410
01:04:15,667 --> 01:04:18,333
and you honor your
Heavenly Father first.

1411
01:04:18,417 --> 01:04:20,958
Some of you need to go apologize
to your parents

1412
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:22,542
or thank your parents.

1413
01:04:22,625 --> 01:04:25,750
Some of you need to get with
your parents and sort things out

1414
01:04:25,833 --> 01:04:27,167
with your parents.

1415
01:04:27,208 --> 01:04:29,458
Some of you just need
to forgive your parents.

1416
01:04:29,500 --> 01:04:31,167
And we're going to respond now.

1417
01:04:31,208 --> 01:04:32,667
We always like to respond.

1418
01:04:32,708 --> 01:04:35,833
We believe that God is a Father
who speaks, and when he does,

1419
01:04:35,917 --> 01:04:37,250
his children respond.

1420
01:04:37,333 --> 01:04:39,250
We're going to collect
our tithes and offerings.

1421
01:04:39,333 --> 01:04:40,750
We'd encourage you
to give generously.

1422
01:04:40,833 --> 01:04:42,958
In a moment, we're going
to partake of Communion,

1423
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:44,667
remembering Jesus' broken
body and shed blood,

1424
01:04:44,708 --> 01:04:46,250
that our God became a baby,

1425
01:04:46,333 --> 01:04:48,250
and a young man,
and a grown man,

1426
01:04:48,333 --> 01:04:52,500
and he paid for our sin so
that we could be forgiven

1427
01:04:52,583 --> 01:04:55,333
and adopted by God
into the eternal family.

1428
01:04:55,375 --> 01:04:59,667
And also, we're going to sing
and celebrate, and as we do,

1429
01:04:59,708 --> 01:05:02,708
I want to call up for you--
today's our 17th birthday,

1430
01:05:02,792 --> 01:05:04,333
Mars Hill.

1431
01:05:04,375 --> 01:05:10,125
You're 17 years old
and I wanted to bring up

1432
01:05:10,167 --> 01:05:13,250
the very first member
of the church.

1433
01:05:13,333 --> 01:05:17,333
She is still with us.

1434
01:05:17,417 --> 01:05:19,333
Hi, this is my wife, Grace.

1435
01:05:19,417 --> 01:05:20,750
Good to see you, baby.

1436
01:05:20,833 --> 01:05:22,167
Good to see you, honey.

1437
01:05:22,208 --> 01:05:24,667
So--I'll hold your hand.

1438
01:05:24,708 --> 01:05:26,667
So, for those of
you who are new,

1439
01:05:26,708 --> 01:05:29,042
our various locations
are various ages,

1440
01:05:29,125 --> 01:05:31,667
and we see Mars Hill Church
like a big family

1441
01:05:31,708 --> 01:05:34,958
with a bunch of kids,
and each church is like a kid.

1442
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:37,333
Each one of our local
churches is like a kid.

1443
01:05:37,417 --> 01:05:39,542
They're unique and they also
have some family resemblances.

1444
01:05:39,625 --> 01:05:42,042
We don't play favorites
and we love all the kids.

1445
01:05:42,125 --> 01:05:44,542
And what started
as Mars Hill Church

1446
01:05:44,625 --> 01:05:46,625
actually started
in our rental home,

1447
01:05:46,667 --> 01:05:50,042
a Bible study
on our couches 17 years ago.

1448
01:05:50,125 --> 01:05:52,042
We're now entering
the 18th year of ministry.

1449
01:05:52,125 --> 01:05:54,250
And Grace was the first
member of the church.

1450
01:05:54,333 --> 01:05:56,458
We fasted and prayed before
we launched the church.

1451
01:05:56,500 --> 01:05:57,833
You've been every day since.

1452
01:05:57,917 --> 01:06:00,125
I still find you
to be the cutest member

1453
01:06:00,167 --> 01:06:01,500
of our church.

1454
01:06:01,583 --> 01:06:03,917
And I want to personally,
publicly thank you for your

1455
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,375
absolute love for Jesus, and
his people, and the church.

1456
01:06:06,458 --> 01:06:07,875
I had one question for you,

1457
01:06:07,958 --> 01:06:09,875
and then you can pray
while we transition.

1458
01:06:09,958 --> 01:06:13,250
What is the most encouraging
thing 17 years hanging through

1459
01:06:13,333 --> 01:06:15,667
all the times at
Mars Hill Church?

1460
01:06:15,708 --> 01:06:19,917
And you can be honest.

1461
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:24,125
I would say just watching God
in the stories of the lives

1462
01:06:24,167 --> 01:06:28,208
of the people, his hand,
and his faithfulness,

1463
01:06:28,292 --> 01:06:31,708
all the way back to when we had
12 people in our living room,

1464
01:06:31,792 --> 01:06:34,917
and hearing their stories,
and how God was working,

1465
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:39,500
and redeeming, and saving
people, until all these years,

1466
01:06:39,583 --> 01:06:42,208
we still get to
hear those stories.

1467
01:06:42,292 --> 01:06:46,167
And even when things get really
hard and seem crazier than ever,

1468
01:06:46,208 --> 01:06:49,542
hearing the stories of what God
is doing is always encouraging,

1469
01:06:49,625 --> 01:06:53,500
and it encourages me to just
keep loving Jesus and serving

1470
01:06:53,583 --> 01:06:57,000
Jesus in whatever way he's
asking for that season.

1471
01:06:57,083 --> 01:07:00,917
I was reading this morning
Matthew 19 where he says--

1472
01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:04,167
he's talking to the disciples,
and they're talking about

1473
01:07:04,250 --> 01:07:07,208
the complexity of people getting
saved, and Jesus says,

1474
01:07:07,292 --> 01:07:10,833
"With man this is impossible,
but with God all things are

1475
01:07:10,875 --> 01:07:14,958
possible," and Mars Hill is
such a testimony of that.

1476
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:18,958
After all these years, just
seeing people get saved

1477
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:21,125
and their lives being changed.

1478
01:07:21,167 --> 01:07:23,167
When things seem
absolutely impossible,

1479
01:07:23,208 --> 01:07:25,333
God has just been so faithful.

1480
01:07:25,417 --> 01:07:29,333
And so it's just--it's a great
encouragement to be in ministry

1481
01:07:29,417 --> 01:07:31,542
and doing what God
is asking us to do,

1482
01:07:31,625 --> 01:07:33,750
and I'm thankful
to be a part of it.

1483
01:07:33,833 --> 01:07:40,125
Me too, thank you, love you.

1484
01:07:40,167 --> 01:07:42,833
She turns her cheek because I
don't like to wear lipstick,

1485
01:07:42,917 --> 01:07:44,333
so don't read into that.

1486
01:07:44,417 --> 01:07:46,167
So, here's what
we're going to do.

1487
01:07:46,208 --> 01:07:49,125
In a moment, we're going to
honor God our Father

1488
01:07:49,167 --> 01:07:51,417
by singing to him, OK,

1489
01:07:51,500 --> 01:07:53,833
by celebrating him,
by remembering him.

1490
01:07:53,875 --> 01:07:58,167
So, would you transition us,
baby, by praying for us?

1491
01:07:58,208 --> 01:08:00,500
Lord, thank you that
we get to worship you.

1492
01:08:00,583 --> 01:08:03,708
Thank you that we are free to do
that and we are privileged

1493
01:08:03,792 --> 01:08:05,208
to be able to do that.

1494
01:08:05,292 --> 01:08:09,000
Lord, I pray for many more years
of seeing your faithfulness,

1495
01:08:09,083 --> 01:08:13,833
seeing lives changed, seeing
lives saved for your kingdom.

1496
01:08:13,875 --> 01:08:17,333
Lord, I pray that we would all
be on mission with you wherever

1497
01:08:17,375 --> 01:08:21,333
we're at, that you would show
us where you want us to serve,

1498
01:08:21,417 --> 01:08:23,750
where you want us
to be faithful,

1499
01:08:23,833 --> 01:08:26,750
that we would always look for
your faithfulness in our lives

1500
01:08:26,833 --> 01:08:29,958
as an example so that we
can go out and do the same.

1501
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:31,500
Lord, we love you

1502
01:08:31,583 --> 01:08:34,417
and we just are so privileged
to be a part of this.

1503
01:08:34,500 --> 01:08:35,750
In Jesus' name.

1504
01:08:35,833 --> 01:08:37,167
Amen. Thanks, babe.

1505
01:08:38,500 --> 01:08:41,417
Each year, over 10 million
Mars Hill church sermons

1506
01:08:41,500 --> 01:08:44,500
are downloaded
worldwide for free.

1507
01:08:44,583 --> 01:08:47,125
This ministry is generously supported

1508
01:08:47,167 --> 01:08:49,750
by Mars Hill church members
and listeners like you.

1509
01:08:49,833 --> 01:08:53,333
If you'd like to support our efforts
to preach Jesus to the world,

1510
01:08:53,375 --> 01:08:56,333
Please consider making
a tax-deductible donation

1511
01:08:56,375 --> 01:08:59,208
by visiting marshill.com/give.