1 00:00:05,542 --> 00:00:07,625 Howdy, Pastor Mark here, all sweaty 2 00:00:07,667 --> 00:00:09,125 got done just yelling, 3 00:00:09,167 --> 00:00:11,000 got to start the Ten Commandments series, 4 00:00:11,083 --> 00:00:12,417 really excited. 5 00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:13,875 We got, of course, 10 weeks together 6 00:00:13,958 --> 00:00:15,500 going through the Ten Commandments 7 00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:18,333 and I wanted to thank you; you are part 8 00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:20,708 of our extended family of Mars Hill Global. 9 00:00:20,792 --> 00:00:23,208 Many of you pray for us, many of you podcast, 10 00:00:23,292 --> 00:00:25,708 many of you give generously and faithfully 11 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:27,333 thank you, thank you, thank you 12 00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:29,708 you're helping us introduce people to Jesus, 13 00:00:29,792 --> 00:00:32,625 get solid Bible teaching out, see lives change. 14 00:00:32,667 --> 00:00:34,833 The band is playing behind me right now, 15 00:00:34,875 --> 00:00:36,625 people are giving their lives to Jesus. 16 00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:38,000 If you hear some cheering 17 00:00:38,042 --> 00:00:40,292 it's 'cause they're getting baptized right now. 18 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:43,500 And our extended family goes really all around the world. 19 00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:45,875 At 4 o' clock today, at our last service 20 00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:48,333 at the Bellevue location where I'm preaching live 21 00:00:48,375 --> 00:00:50,417 we've got a guy in from China. 22 00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:51,917 And apparently he can't get baptized 23 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,583 where he's at in China because the legalities 24 00:00:54,667 --> 00:00:56,333 and for some reason he's in the U.S., 25 00:00:56,375 --> 00:00:58,125 he's part of our extended family 26 00:00:58,167 --> 00:01:01,417 and we're gonna baptize him here from China at 4 o' clock. 27 00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:04,375 We love the opportunity that technology affords us 28 00:01:04,458 --> 00:01:07,625 to get the Bible teaching about Jesus out to the world. 29 00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:09,125 Somebody else getting baptized right there; 30 00:01:09,167 --> 00:01:10,625 I hope you can hear the shouts. 31 00:01:10,667 --> 00:01:13,125 Sincerely thank you, thank you, thank you. 32 00:01:13,167 --> 00:01:16,000 If you're not already part of the extended family 33 00:01:16,042 --> 00:01:18,500 or if you wanna invite others to join us 34 00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:21,083 and know what's going on and be kept up to speed, 35 00:01:21,167 --> 00:01:23,083 marshill.com/global 36 00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:25,208 is the easiest way to sign up for an account. 37 00:01:25,292 --> 00:01:27,208 And for those of you who want to follow along 38 00:01:27,292 --> 00:01:28,583 in the Ten Commandments, 39 00:01:28,667 --> 00:01:30,000 we did put together a study guide. 40 00:01:30,083 --> 00:01:31,333 You could do this individually, 41 00:01:31,417 --> 00:01:32,833 you could do this with your family 42 00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,500 you could do this with a small group. 43 00:01:34,583 --> 00:01:36,125 All the proceeds go back to the church 44 00:01:36,167 --> 00:01:37,708 I'm not putting my hand on the till 45 00:01:37,792 --> 00:01:39,708 and it was all written by people in the church 46 00:01:39,792 --> 00:01:43,583 who love Jesus; men, women, single, married, 47 00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:47,333 serving and using their gifts to help serve our church 48 00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:48,667 and I want to thank you 49 00:01:48,750 --> 00:01:50,792 for being an extended member of Mars Hill. 50 00:01:50,833 --> 00:01:52,708 So thanks a bunch and be praying. 51 00:01:52,792 --> 00:01:54,792 I'm pretty fired up to be in the Ten Commandments. 52 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,833 The people of God were stuck. 53 00:02:08,875 --> 00:02:11,500 For centuries, they lived as slaves 54 00:02:11,542 --> 00:02:13,375 to terrifying task masters 55 00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:18,500 whose cruelty was only exceeded by their power. 56 00:02:18,542 --> 00:02:20,417 In these dark days, 57 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:22,333 God's people gave birth to children 58 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:25,708 who would inherit nothing more than misery. 59 00:02:25,792 --> 00:02:29,000 Their strongest ally was a God, 60 00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:33,792 who they had assumed had forgotten them. 61 00:02:35,083 --> 00:02:37,333 Far from forgotten, the people of God 62 00:02:37,375 --> 00:02:41,417 were rescued by the might of his hand. 63 00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:44,417 He put their masters to open shame 64 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:47,833 and led them into the wilderness. 65 00:02:47,875 --> 00:02:51,667 Though they were set free, they weren't yet living free. 66 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:55,708 They started to live as slaves to their own sin. 67 00:02:55,792 --> 00:02:57,417 What happened next 68 00:02:57,500 --> 00:03:00,875 reverberates for over 3,000 years of history 69 00:03:00,958 --> 00:03:03,125 to this current day. 70 00:03:03,167 --> 00:03:05,000 Like a loving and patient Father, 71 00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:08,625 God instructed his children, 72 00:03:08,667 --> 00:03:13,500 giving them the Ten Commandments. 73 00:03:19,792 --> 00:03:21,958 Some years ago, Grace and I had a vine 74 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:26,375 that we were trying to get to grow alongside of the garage. 75 00:03:26,458 --> 00:03:28,833 I had big dreams for this little vine. 76 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,958 My goal was to get this little vine to grow up alongside 77 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:36,542 of the garage and then along a trellis over the garage door. 78 00:03:36,625 --> 00:03:39,000 And my hope was to nurture this vine 79 00:03:39,042 --> 00:03:40,792 that it would become long enough 80 00:03:40,833 --> 00:03:44,375 that it would actually go over the front porch of the house. 81 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:47,333 And there was a small trellis there, and I had a vision 82 00:03:47,417 --> 00:03:50,000 that if I was patient and nurtured this vine, 83 00:03:50,042 --> 00:03:52,667 eventually it would actually cover the front of the house. 84 00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:55,583 I'd be very beautiful, and I could sit out there and enjoy 85 00:03:55,667 --> 00:03:59,542 that spot with my wife and with my family. 86 00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:01,750 And I'm not a gardener. 87 00:04:01,833 --> 00:04:03,500 I know that's going to be surprising. 88 00:04:03,542 --> 00:04:05,500 I don't have a lot of gardening experience. 89 00:04:05,542 --> 00:04:08,000 This was my first real committed gardening project, 90 00:04:08,042 --> 00:04:11,958 so I started with one simple little vine and found that 91 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,583 they grow very slow and you've got to be very patient. 92 00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:19,000 So lots of nutrients in the ground, lots of water, 93 00:04:19,042 --> 00:04:23,167 keeping an eye on pests, anytime there was a dead branch, 94 00:04:23,208 --> 00:04:26,292 trimming it, keeping all of the life and nourishment going. 95 00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:29,042 Well, eventually the vine grew up the trellis, 96 00:04:29,125 --> 00:04:31,542 got it all in the trellis, grew over the garage, 97 00:04:31,625 --> 00:04:33,292 started to grow over the porch. 98 00:04:33,333 --> 00:04:35,167 Started to get some of the results 99 00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:37,750 that I'd been waiting years for. 100 00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:40,667 And then was out one day mowing the grass, 101 00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:44,500 and I had the weed eater and was just trimming around the edge 102 00:04:44,542 --> 00:04:48,792 and in a careless instant, I severed the vine, 103 00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:55,167 the vine I had been nourishing and tending to for years. 104 00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:59,375 And I was shocked because I realized 105 00:04:59,458 --> 00:05:03,042 there's nothing I can do to fix this. 106 00:05:03,125 --> 00:05:08,167 I just killed it in an instant. 107 00:05:10,833 --> 00:05:13,792 And adultery is like that. 108 00:05:13,833 --> 00:05:17,083 Adultery is like that. 109 00:05:17,167 --> 00:05:20,042 In Psalm 128:3, the psalmist says 110 00:05:20,125 --> 00:05:22,667 that a wife is a fruitful vine 111 00:05:22,708 --> 00:05:25,292 and that children are like olive shoots 112 00:05:25,333 --> 00:05:28,375 that are a blessing that sit around your table. 113 00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:31,375 God rightly compares marriage to a vine. 114 00:05:31,458 --> 00:05:33,250 You've got to invest a lot 115 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,750 and you've got to wait a long time, 116 00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:40,167 and you're going to need to patient and tending to it 117 00:05:40,208 --> 00:05:43,792 if you want it to grow and be fruitful. 118 00:05:43,833 --> 00:05:48,833 And adultery is literally just severing near the base, 119 00:05:48,917 --> 00:05:50,792 the vine. 120 00:05:50,833 --> 00:05:53,667 And what was interesting is the vine began to die is 121 00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:56,083 that it didn't die all at once. 122 00:05:56,167 --> 00:05:59,292 The leaves stayed green for some days and then over time, 123 00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:01,333 you could see that nourishment 124 00:06:01,417 --> 00:06:04,375 wasn't coming from near the base. 125 00:06:04,458 --> 00:06:09,375 And so eventually, it began to wither. 126 00:06:09,458 --> 00:06:15,292 What I decided to do was go back to that same vine 127 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:19,667 and continue to nourish it and to reinvest 128 00:06:19,708 --> 00:06:24,500 and to wait patiently and to start over. 129 00:06:24,542 --> 00:06:27,667 And for some of you today, I hope that's the path 130 00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:30,167 that God would help you to choose. 131 00:06:30,208 --> 00:06:36,083 Eventually the vine did come back and eventually over time, 132 00:06:36,167 --> 00:06:41,167 we were back to where we originally were. 133 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:45,583 This will be one of those very difficult sermons for us both, 134 00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:50,583 where as your pastor, my hope is to have a father's heart 135 00:06:50,667 --> 00:06:52,833 and to talk to you as if you were 136 00:06:52,917 --> 00:06:56,083 one of my sons or daughters, which spiritually you are. 137 00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:59,875 My hope is that you would hear me as bringing God's Word to you 138 00:06:59,958 --> 00:07:02,208 in a practical and helpful way. 139 00:07:02,292 --> 00:07:04,667 We find ourselves in the Ten Commandments. 140 00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:06,375 We're a Bible-teaching church, 141 00:07:06,458 --> 00:07:08,667 and so we like to study the Scriptures. 142 00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:11,958 And we're in Exodus chapter 20, verse 14 143 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,167 as we examine the Ten Commandments. 144 00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:16,333 We're in commandment number seven, 145 00:07:16,417 --> 00:07:18,667 which simply says this: 146 00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:22,167 "You shall not commit adultery. 147 00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:27,833 You shall not commit adultery." 148 00:07:27,917 --> 00:07:30,875 One of the great joys that the other elders and I have 149 00:07:30,958 --> 00:07:32,500 in being your pastor 150 00:07:32,542 --> 00:07:34,958 is seeing people meet Jesus and meet one another, 151 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,500 and then get to know one another and then sign up for premarital 152 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,083 and then get married. 153 00:07:40,167 --> 00:07:44,292 And it's a great honor to be there on your wedding day. 154 00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:47,375 But the most important day is not that day; 155 00:07:47,458 --> 00:07:49,958 it's the last day of your marriage. 156 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,167 Will it come prematurity? 157 00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:54,292 Will you sever your own vine? 158 00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:56,083 Will it come painfully? 159 00:07:56,167 --> 00:07:59,000 Will it come pleasantly? 160 00:07:59,042 --> 00:08:00,917 As we read in the Bible, 161 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,083 the first wedding between our first parents 162 00:08:03,167 --> 00:08:07,458 was immediately preceded-- the wedding rather was then 163 00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:09,083 followed up with a war. 164 00:08:09,167 --> 00:08:11,292 Satan didn't even show up to Adam and Eve 165 00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:12,667 until they were married. 166 00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:14,375 I always find that very curious timing. 167 00:08:14,458 --> 00:08:16,167 Some of you are single, you think, 168 00:08:16,208 --> 00:08:17,667 "As soon as I get married, 169 00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:19,333 they will relieve some of my temptation." 170 00:08:19,417 --> 00:08:21,792 Actually, Satan didn't even show up until our first parents 171 00:08:21,833 --> 00:08:23,167 were married, 172 00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:26,333 that the storyline of the Bible is from a wedding to a war 173 00:08:26,417 --> 00:08:28,792 and there's been a war from the beginning surrounding marriage, 174 00:08:28,833 --> 00:08:30,292 especially the marriage of God's people. 175 00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:32,500 And so God speaks to us and he says, 176 00:08:32,542 --> 00:08:33,875 "You shall not commit adultery." 177 00:08:33,958 --> 00:08:36,875 I'm going to spend the rest of my time dealing with this 178 00:08:36,958 --> 00:08:39,000 in some very practical ways, 179 00:08:39,042 --> 00:08:40,667 and there are two categories of you: 180 00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:42,375 Some of you have already done this 181 00:08:42,458 --> 00:08:44,375 and you are wondering what to do next. 182 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:47,167 Some you have not yet done this, and you don't feel 183 00:08:47,208 --> 00:08:49,375 the sense of urgency that you probably should. 184 00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:52,292 To begin with, I need to do a bit of a teaching, 185 00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:55,083 and I need to answer this question: "What is marriage?" 186 00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:57,333 We live in a day that is profoundly confused 187 00:08:57,417 --> 00:09:01,542 about everything, particularly marriage. 188 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:04,458 Marriage, in the Bible, is a very sacred thing. 189 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,083 It is created by God. 190 00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:08,000 He officiates the first wedding 191 00:09:08,042 --> 00:09:10,542 between the first man and the first woman. 192 00:09:10,625 --> 00:09:14,583 He brings them together and he is the one who institutes this, 193 00:09:14,667 --> 00:09:16,500 this great gift of marriage. 194 00:09:16,542 --> 00:09:18,750 Well, marriage is two things. 195 00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:21,250 It is--and we could debate this all day, 196 00:09:21,333 --> 00:09:23,750 but I'll boil it down as simple as I can. 197 00:09:23,833 --> 00:09:26,167 It's covenant and consummation. 198 00:09:26,208 --> 00:09:29,458 It's covenant and consummation, according to God's Word. 199 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,958 So first of all, covenant, 200 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,958 you'll find it in Malachi 2 and elsewhere. 201 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,000 "The LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth." 202 00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:37,667 He's speaking to the men here. 203 00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:41,750 "She is your companion and your wife by"--what? 204 00:09:41,833 --> 00:09:43,667 "Covenant." 205 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,542 Now, this is the big debate in our day is, 206 00:09:46,625 --> 00:09:51,667 is marriage a civil contract, or is it a biblical covenant? 207 00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:56,042 A civil contract is really just between two people. 208 00:09:56,125 --> 00:09:58,292 It's more of a business arrangement; 209 00:09:58,333 --> 00:09:59,833 it's a legal arrangement. 210 00:09:59,917 --> 00:10:03,625 It's like two business partners merging into one firm. 211 00:10:03,667 --> 00:10:05,333 It's civil. 212 00:10:05,375 --> 00:10:07,667 The Christian understanding, the biblical understanding, 213 00:10:07,750 --> 00:10:12,792 is that it is not civil, it is covenantal-- 214 00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:15,167 meaning, it's not just two people. 215 00:10:15,250 --> 00:10:18,792 It's two people in God who oversees the covenant. 216 00:10:18,833 --> 00:10:22,208 This is why at Mars Hill Church we see marriage differently than 217 00:10:22,292 --> 00:10:23,917 the greater culture does, 218 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,417 because we're Bible-believing Christians. 219 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:29,500 It also means that we do not allow people to get married 220 00:10:29,542 --> 00:10:31,833 who do not meet the biblical criteria. 221 00:10:31,875 --> 00:10:34,125 We would never marry a believer and an unbeliever 222 00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:36,000 because to be in covenant with one another, 223 00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:38,625 they first need to be in covenant with God. 224 00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:41,708 Two unbelievers can marry, two believers can marry, 225 00:10:41,792 --> 00:10:43,708 but a believer and an unbeliever cannot marry, 226 00:10:43,792 --> 00:10:45,708 because if they're not in covenant with God, 227 00:10:45,792 --> 00:10:48,208 they should not be in marital covenant with one another. 228 00:10:48,292 --> 00:10:51,625 This is why if a couple comes to us at Mars Hill and says, 229 00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:54,625 "I'd like to be married," we put them in a premarital process 230 00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:56,417 to help them understand the terms, conditions, 231 00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:58,833 and requirements of God's marriage covenant. 232 00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:02,625 It's why we would never marry anyone as elders unless we were 233 00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:06,417 convinced that they took their covenant before God seriously. 234 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:09,792 It's why we would never officiate or allow someone 235 00:11:09,833 --> 00:11:12,083 to officiate a wedding in one of our churches 236 00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:14,125 unless they were covenantal in their thinking. 237 00:11:14,167 --> 00:11:16,667 People call all the time, "Could we rent your building?" 238 00:11:16,750 --> 00:11:20,333 Not for a civil marriage, only for a covenantal marriage. 239 00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:22,333 We don't want to confuse people who think, 240 00:11:22,375 --> 00:11:24,333 "Well, we don't have a covenant with God. 241 00:11:24,375 --> 00:11:26,500 "We're not entering into a covenant with one another, 242 00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:28,708 "but we'd like to do it in the church 243 00:11:28,792 --> 00:11:30,208 "because grandma's very traditional. 244 00:11:30,292 --> 00:11:31,708 It looks better for the photos." 245 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,708 We want to be very clear: that which is civil is civil 246 00:11:34,792 --> 00:11:36,917 and that which is covenantal is covenantal. 247 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,792 And our view of marriage is entirely guided by Scriptures. 248 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:42,833 And it doesn't matter what vote is taken or what the politicians 249 00:11:42,875 --> 00:11:45,125 or the lawyers determine; ultimately, 250 00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:48,000 what we care about is what God has spoken. 251 00:11:48,042 --> 00:11:53,792 So it covenantal. This means that it is permanent, 252 00:11:53,833 --> 00:11:58,417 that it is exclusive, and that it is sacred. 253 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:01,083 Number two, marriage is covenantal 254 00:12:01,167 --> 00:12:04,042 and it includes consummation. 255 00:12:04,125 --> 00:12:08,167 Two people who are sleeping together are not married 256 00:12:08,250 --> 00:12:10,042 because they don't have the covenantal aspect-- 257 00:12:10,125 --> 00:12:11,875 all they have is the consummation aspect. 258 00:12:11,958 --> 00:12:14,542 Two people who are really good friends and love one another 259 00:12:14,625 --> 00:12:15,958 and spend time together, 260 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,500 but have not entered into covenant and consummated it, 261 00:12:19,542 --> 00:12:21,583 they're not married. 262 00:12:21,667 --> 00:12:24,583 This is why it's covenant and it's consummation. 263 00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:26,583 It speaks of this in Genesis 2:24. 264 00:12:26,667 --> 00:12:30,000 Here it is God speaking, Moses's recording of our first parents: 265 00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:32,292 "A man shall leave his father and his mother 266 00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:35,500 and hold fast to his wife"-- there's the covenant-- 267 00:12:35,542 --> 00:12:38,000 "and the two shall become one flesh." 268 00:12:38,042 --> 00:12:40,375 There's the consummation. 269 00:12:40,458 --> 00:12:43,792 It's between a man and a woman. 270 00:12:43,833 --> 00:12:49,292 Everything I say today will be offensive, OK? 271 00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:54,208 And I hope that everything I say today will be true. 272 00:12:56,958 --> 00:13:01,333 Marriage is between a man and a woman, because God created us, 273 00:13:01,417 --> 00:13:05,667 in the previous chapter of Genesis, male and female. 274 00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:10,167 In our culture, we don't believe that people are made male 275 00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:13,458 and female; we believe that God makes androgynous people 276 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:16,292 who then determine their gender identity. 277 00:13:16,333 --> 00:13:19,250 So you're not a man or a woman; you're a person who 278 00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:22,375 gets to decide if you will live as a man or a woman. 279 00:13:22,458 --> 00:13:26,292 So a man can dress like a woman, or a woman can dress like a man, 280 00:13:26,333 --> 00:13:28,792 or you can undergo some sort of gender reassignment surgery 281 00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:31,333 and change your entire biological identity. 282 00:13:31,417 --> 00:13:34,083 God made us male and female. 283 00:13:34,167 --> 00:13:37,083 And I want to be pastorly sensitive to those who are born 284 00:13:37,167 --> 00:13:40,042 in such a way that anatomically and physically, 285 00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:43,458 there are complicated variables, but that's a small minority. 286 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:46,000 It's led to the point in our culture then, well, 287 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:49,667 why can't a man marry a man, and why can a man marry a woman? 288 00:13:49,708 --> 00:13:52,667 And so what we have today is not a definition of marriage, 289 00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:55,833 but the absence of a definition of marriage. 290 00:13:55,917 --> 00:13:58,000 My question is, why two people? 291 00:13:58,042 --> 00:14:00,750 I mean, the only way you get two people in marriage 292 00:14:00,833 --> 00:14:02,167 is in the Bible. 293 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,667 A lot of cultures are polygamists. 294 00:14:03,708 --> 00:14:05,667 I believe that you will see polygamy legalized 295 00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:07,667 in my lifetime. 296 00:14:07,750 --> 00:14:10,667 I believe you'll see polyamory legalized in my lifetime. 297 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,958 I believe that those who are bisexual will say, 298 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,792 "I'm both; I need two partners." 299 00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:18,958 I believe that certain religious groups will push for polygamy, 300 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,583 and I believe in the absence of a definition of marriage-- 301 00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:23,083 and that's what we have today-- 302 00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:24,833 we don't have a definition of marriage; 303 00:14:24,917 --> 00:14:27,042 we have the absence of a definition of marriage-- 304 00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:30,042 you will see others continue to add to the list of what 305 00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:31,458 qualifies for a civil marriage. 306 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:34,083 But let me tell you this: It's not a covenantal marriage. 307 00:14:34,167 --> 00:14:36,542 It's not a biblical marriage. 308 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:40,375 And it comes out of this misunderstanding of gender. 309 00:14:40,458 --> 00:14:43,375 It has gotten to the point now where recently it was passed 310 00:14:43,458 --> 00:14:45,500 as law in California 311 00:14:45,542 --> 00:14:47,958 that if a boy feels like he's a girl, 312 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,292 he can use the girls' locker room or restroom. 313 00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:52,292 If a girl feels like she's a boy, 314 00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:54,792 she can use the boys' locker room or restroom, because 315 00:14:54,833 --> 00:14:56,167 who are we to judge? 316 00:14:56,250 --> 00:14:58,583 Gender is not determined by anatomy or by theology, 317 00:14:58,667 --> 00:15:02,250 but by individuality. 318 00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:04,583 That's the world in which we live. 319 00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:07,500 OK, "Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world. 320 00:15:07,542 --> 00:15:10,667 Be transformed by the renewing of your mind," the Bible says. 321 00:15:10,750 --> 00:15:13,375 "That the world in its wisdom does not know God," 322 00:15:13,458 --> 00:15:15,083 the Bible says. 323 00:15:15,167 --> 00:15:17,833 "The mind that does not know God is hostile to God. 324 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,833 "It does not understand his laws, in fact, 325 00:15:19,917 --> 00:15:23,333 it cannot submit to them," says the Word of God. 326 00:15:23,417 --> 00:15:25,750 Christians think differently about everything, 327 00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:27,667 not just this thing. 328 00:15:27,750 --> 00:15:30,083 We believe we're made male and female 329 00:15:30,167 --> 00:15:31,875 in the image and likeness of God, 330 00:15:31,958 --> 00:15:34,500 that marriage is not just civil and contractual, 331 00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:37,667 it is covenantal, it is for one man and one woman, 332 00:15:37,708 --> 00:15:40,667 and it is defined by covenant in the presence of God 333 00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:46,000 and consummation between the husband and the wife. 334 00:15:46,042 --> 00:15:49,250 And here's why this is so incredibly important, because 335 00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:52,542 according to the Scriptures, marriage is an illustration-- 336 00:15:52,625 --> 00:15:55,292 it's a pattern, a precedent, a foreshadowing of something 337 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:57,667 far more significant and greater. 338 00:15:57,708 --> 00:15:59,792 People say, "Well, those two people love each other. 339 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,250 Why can't they get married?" 340 00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:03,792 My question is, well, what about the brother and sister 341 00:16:03,833 --> 00:16:05,292 who love one another, all right, 342 00:16:05,333 --> 00:16:07,000 and they're not going to hurt anybody 343 00:16:07,042 --> 00:16:08,375 and they're consenting adults? 344 00:16:08,458 --> 00:16:10,500 In the absence of a definition of marriage, 345 00:16:10,542 --> 00:16:12,167 you will see all kinds of insanity 346 00:16:12,250 --> 00:16:14,167 in the name of tolerance and diversity. 347 00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:16,583 That's the world in which we live. 348 00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:19,292 According to the Bible, marriage is a portrait and a picture 349 00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:21,583 of something far greater. 350 00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:24,583 The Bible tells us that marriage is a portrait and a symbol 351 00:16:24,667 --> 00:16:27,875 and a picture of Jesus' love for the church. 352 00:16:27,958 --> 00:16:29,667 You can read this in Ephesians 5, 353 00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:31,458 where it says that Christ loved the church 354 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:32,958 and gave himself up for her, 355 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,333 to present her to himself as a radiant bride 356 00:16:35,417 --> 00:16:38,500 without blemish or spot. 357 00:16:38,542 --> 00:16:41,292 The history culminates in Revelation 19 358 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:44,292 near the end of the Bible with a wedding. 359 00:16:44,333 --> 00:16:46,792 How many of you love going to an amazing wedding 360 00:16:46,833 --> 00:16:49,958 between a bride and a groom who love each other? 361 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,958 The reason why everybody wants to have a wedding is because 362 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,667 they're made in the image and likeness of God, and ultimately 363 00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:58,833 if they don't even know God, they are being prepared by God 364 00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:03,250 for that eternal day when they are in his presence. 365 00:17:03,333 --> 00:17:06,875 They want that wedding. 366 00:17:06,958 --> 00:17:09,458 Well, ultimately the greatest wedding of all is the wedding 367 00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:11,292 between Jesus and his people. 368 00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:13,292 Revelation 19 says that history ends with 369 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:14,750 a wedding supper of the Lamb, 370 00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:17,667 and that the church is like a bride wearing white. 371 00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:19,958 So you men, we're not individually brides, but 372 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:24,250 collectively we relate to Jesus with respect and followership 373 00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:27,750 and adoration and covenantal affection and fidelity. 374 00:17:27,833 --> 00:17:30,000 We don't worship other gods because that's whoring. 375 00:17:30,042 --> 00:17:33,458 That's why in the Bible idolatry is adultery. 376 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:37,292 When we're worshiping other gods, we're cheating on Jesus. 377 00:17:37,333 --> 00:17:40,000 We participate in false religion and spirituality. 378 00:17:40,042 --> 00:17:43,500 We're cheating on Jesus. 379 00:17:43,542 --> 00:17:46,875 And that the church is to be like a bride and that Jesus is 380 00:17:46,958 --> 00:17:50,583 like a groom, and that marriage is to present 381 00:17:50,667 --> 00:17:54,958 and to prepare people for that ultimate reality. 382 00:17:55,000 --> 00:18:00,042 Well, the result is that that marriage is far more than just 383 00:18:00,125 --> 00:18:01,458 a man and a woman. 384 00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,667 When it is covenantal, it includes the Lord Jesus, 385 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,750 a portrait of the church and the eternal kingdom of God. 386 00:18:06,833 --> 00:18:09,667 And it is for those people who are in the New Covenant 387 00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:13,667 with Jesus--they're in saving relationship with Jesus Christ. 388 00:18:13,750 --> 00:18:16,042 And the consummation is not sexual, 389 00:18:16,125 --> 00:18:19,167 but it is spiritual, where after the resurrection of the dead 390 00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:20,750 and all things are made new, 391 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:23,667 just like a bride would go to live with her husband, 392 00:18:23,708 --> 00:18:25,958 so God's people will go to his kingdom, 393 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,792 the place that Jesus is preparing for us right now. 394 00:18:29,833 --> 00:18:32,583 And so what happens is if you're confused about marriage, 395 00:18:32,667 --> 00:18:35,875 that covenant, you're ultimately confused about salvation 396 00:18:35,958 --> 00:18:37,667 and that covenant. 397 00:18:37,708 --> 00:18:40,500 This is why people who support same-sex marriage also support 398 00:18:40,542 --> 00:18:45,000 universalism, that all peoples and religions will be saved. 399 00:18:45,042 --> 00:18:48,167 If you're confused about how God has covenant with us, 400 00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:51,292 you'll be confused about how to have covenant in marriage. 401 00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:53,667 Or vice versa, if you're confused about the covenant 402 00:18:53,750 --> 00:18:57,583 of marriage, you'll be confused about the covenant of salvation. 403 00:18:57,667 --> 00:19:01,833 This is why the liberal churches not only ruin the covenant 404 00:19:01,917 --> 00:19:04,792 of marriage, they ruin the covenant of salvation. 405 00:19:04,833 --> 00:19:07,667 They won't draw any lines around who can be in the covenant 406 00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:10,667 of marriage because they don't believe that God has a right 407 00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:12,667 to draw any lines about who participates 408 00:19:12,750 --> 00:19:14,792 in the covenant of redemption. 409 00:19:14,833 --> 00:19:17,000 It's all very theological. 410 00:19:17,042 --> 00:19:19,667 It's all very theological. 411 00:19:19,708 --> 00:19:21,292 So, if you're single, you ask, 412 00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:23,333 "What does this have to do with me?" 413 00:19:23,417 --> 00:19:26,500 Statistically 91% of you will marry, 414 00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:31,375 91% of you will marry. 415 00:19:31,458 --> 00:19:35,292 Now, this verse here in Genesis 2:24 416 00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:40,500 is so important that not only does Moses state it, 417 00:19:40,542 --> 00:19:43,667 Jesus repeats it. 418 00:19:43,708 --> 00:19:45,667 Jesus repeats it. 419 00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:48,250 Some of you people say, "Well, what did Jesus say?" 420 00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:50,583 Jesus quotes this verse: 421 00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:52,583 "Have you not heard that in the beginning 422 00:19:52,667 --> 00:19:54,083 God made the male and female," 423 00:19:54,167 --> 00:19:55,500 he quotes Genesis 2. 424 00:19:55,542 --> 00:19:58,167 "For this reason a man will leave his mother and father 425 00:19:58,250 --> 00:20:00,667 be united to his wife, two will become one flesh." 426 00:20:00,750 --> 00:20:02,917 And then later on the Apostle Paul quotes it. 427 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:07,208 So here's what you got, God says it, Moses, Jesus who is God, 428 00:20:07,292 --> 00:20:09,917 and Paul all restate it. 429 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,333 You know why? 430 00:20:11,375 --> 00:20:13,500 It doesn't change. 431 00:20:13,583 --> 00:20:16,708 It doesn't matter what you and I and they vote on. 432 00:20:16,792 --> 00:20:22,125 If God, Moses, Jesus, Paul vote, that trumps all other votes, 433 00:20:22,167 --> 00:20:26,417 even the Supreme Court vote. 434 00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:28,792 So, if marriage is covenantal, 435 00:20:28,833 --> 00:20:31,208 what happens when you violate the terms of the covenant? 436 00:20:31,292 --> 00:20:34,208 What happens when you commit adultery? 437 00:20:34,292 --> 00:20:35,708 That's the next question. 438 00:20:35,792 --> 00:20:38,000 Here is the penalty for adultery. 439 00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:41,667 This is why there are penalties for adulteries in the Bible. 440 00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:43,167 There's one in the Old Testament, 441 00:20:43,250 --> 00:20:46,417 one in the New Testament, and one for the eternal kingdom of God. 442 00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:48,125 In the Old Testament, 443 00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:50,833 the penalty for adultery is death. 444 00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:53,417 Let that sit for a moment. 445 00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:55,875 All right, next time you watch "Bridges of Madison County," 446 00:20:55,958 --> 00:21:00,292 just remember this. 447 00:21:00,333 --> 00:21:02,292 Leviticus 20:10, 448 00:21:02,333 --> 00:21:04,875 and it says this numerous places in the Old Testament, 449 00:21:04,958 --> 00:21:07,667 "If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, 450 00:21:07,750 --> 00:21:09,167 "both the adulterer and the adulteress 451 00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:11,208 shall surely be put to"--what? 452 00:21:11,292 --> 00:21:12,625 "Death." 453 00:21:12,667 --> 00:21:15,125 See, in the Old Covenant, the Old Testament, 454 00:21:15,167 --> 00:21:19,667 there wasn't an opportunity for repeat offenders. 455 00:21:19,750 --> 00:21:21,917 You commit adultery, you die, we move on. 456 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,167 This is why sometimes when we argue about divorce 457 00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:26,833 as Christians, we tend to miss this point. 458 00:21:26,875 --> 00:21:29,500 People are like, "Well, could they get divorced in the old--" 459 00:21:29,583 --> 00:21:32,500 Well, if your spouse is dead, you don't really need to walk 460 00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:34,708 down to the courthouse and fill out the paperwork 461 00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:36,125 to get a divorce. 462 00:21:36,167 --> 00:21:40,125 You have the funeral and move on with your life. 463 00:21:40,167 --> 00:21:46,125 If you were born in a different day, some of you would be dead. 464 00:21:46,167 --> 00:21:48,417 The only difference between life and death for you 465 00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:50,708 is the date of your birth. 466 00:21:50,792 --> 00:21:55,125 You've committed adultery; you should be dead. 467 00:21:55,167 --> 00:21:58,125 You feel that? 468 00:21:58,167 --> 00:22:00,958 God takes this very seriously, doesn't he? 469 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,875 When I hear people say things like, 470 00:22:02,958 --> 00:22:04,667 "Hey, everybody makes mistake, nobody's perfect, 471 00:22:04,750 --> 00:22:06,542 who are you to judge?" 472 00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:09,875 I think to myself, they should be dead, 473 00:22:09,958 --> 00:22:12,667 not arguing or defending. 474 00:22:12,708 --> 00:22:15,167 They should have some sense of gratitude that they even 475 00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:20,167 have breath in their lungs to state their case. 476 00:22:20,208 --> 00:22:23,042 In the Old Covenant, the penalty was death. 477 00:22:23,125 --> 00:22:27,167 In the New Covenant, the penalty was divorce. 478 00:22:27,208 --> 00:22:31,750 Matthew 19:9, "Whoever divorces his wife"--who's saying this? 479 00:22:31,833 --> 00:22:33,667 Who's saying this? 480 00:22:33,708 --> 00:22:36,500 Jesus. 481 00:22:36,542 --> 00:22:40,292 "Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality"-- 482 00:22:40,333 --> 00:22:43,000 and it's a big word, but for our purposes, 483 00:22:43,042 --> 00:22:45,750 we're going to say primarily adultery, 484 00:22:45,833 --> 00:22:48,000 but it can include other things because people 485 00:22:48,042 --> 00:22:51,542 are very perverted and can find ways around rules. 486 00:22:51,625 --> 00:22:53,958 "And marries another commits"--what? 487 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,333 "Adultery." 488 00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:56,750 So what's the condition? 489 00:22:56,833 --> 00:22:58,750 What's the clause, the exception for divorce? 490 00:22:58,833 --> 00:23:00,958 You're supposed to be married; the two become one. 491 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,667 If we're going to take a cleaver 492 00:23:02,750 --> 00:23:05,000 to the one and make them two again, 493 00:23:05,042 --> 00:23:08,500 the issue should be for something as strong as adultery. 494 00:23:08,542 --> 00:23:10,500 Now, some Christians are going to come along 495 00:23:10,542 --> 00:23:12,792 and they're going to get real legalistic and say, 496 00:23:12,833 --> 00:23:15,292 "No, you should never, never, never get divorced." 497 00:23:15,333 --> 00:23:21,083 Divorce is something that should not be rushed into. 498 00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:26,083 For those of you who are hearing this, hear me on this: 499 00:23:26,167 --> 00:23:29,542 adultery does not mean you should get a divorce. 500 00:23:29,625 --> 00:23:33,292 Adultery means you have that as a possibility-- 501 00:23:33,333 --> 00:23:34,875 it's not a requirement. 502 00:23:34,958 --> 00:23:37,500 You don't have to get divorced, but according to Jesus, 503 00:23:37,542 --> 00:23:42,042 you have a right to be divorced. 504 00:23:42,125 --> 00:23:47,000 But, but, 505 00:23:47,042 --> 00:23:51,292 I would encourage nearly all of you, 506 00:23:51,333 --> 00:23:53,667 if I knew your personal case, 507 00:23:53,750 --> 00:23:56,458 to do all you could to go back to that vine 508 00:23:56,500 --> 00:23:59,500 and to nurture it and to feed it and to water it 509 00:23:59,542 --> 00:24:04,667 and to tend to it to see if you can't get it to grow again. 510 00:24:04,708 --> 00:24:07,083 If you're going to go do that with someone else, 511 00:24:07,167 --> 00:24:09,833 put all that time and energy and effort and investment in, 512 00:24:09,917 --> 00:24:13,375 oftentimes it is good to make that same investment 513 00:24:13,458 --> 00:24:18,333 in the relationship you already have. 514 00:24:18,417 --> 00:24:23,167 This is why I would discourage anyone from rushing into divorce 515 00:24:23,250 --> 00:24:25,083 in the moment of hurt. 516 00:24:25,167 --> 00:24:27,375 And if you've-- are a victim of adultery, 517 00:24:27,458 --> 00:24:30,333 your spouse has cheated on God and cheated on you, 518 00:24:30,417 --> 00:24:33,333 your proclivity can be out of anger or hurt or frustration 519 00:24:33,417 --> 00:24:35,542 or out of shock or horror or embarrassment 520 00:24:35,625 --> 00:24:37,250 to just run into divorce. 521 00:24:37,333 --> 00:24:40,167 Don't do it under those kinds of emotionally draining, 522 00:24:40,208 --> 00:24:44,667 straining circumstances because, well, it's like getting married. 523 00:24:44,708 --> 00:24:47,542 I would never encourage anyone to rush into marriage, 524 00:24:47,625 --> 00:24:50,792 and I would never encourage anyone to rush out of marriage. 525 00:24:50,833 --> 00:24:53,375 All right, these are massive decisions that involve 526 00:24:53,458 --> 00:24:57,750 many people and they implicate the rest of our entire life. 527 00:24:57,833 --> 00:24:59,375 And for some of you, you say, 528 00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:01,667 "Well, I just want to get it over with." 529 00:25:01,708 --> 00:25:03,667 The truth is that when two become one 530 00:25:03,750 --> 00:25:05,167 and then they become two again, 531 00:25:05,250 --> 00:25:07,792 you're going to have suffering and scars in your soul 532 00:25:07,833 --> 00:25:10,375 for the rest of your days on the earth. 533 00:25:10,458 --> 00:25:15,875 You never fully recover and heal from that. 534 00:25:15,958 --> 00:25:20,042 In addition, my encouragement 535 00:25:20,125 --> 00:25:25,208 is particularly concerned about children. 536 00:25:26,958 --> 00:25:31,292 If you have children, sometimes the parents think, or the hurt, 537 00:25:31,333 --> 00:25:36,292 wounded parent thinks, "We'll get a divorce and move on." 538 00:25:36,333 --> 00:25:39,375 True or false, for those of you who are divorced with children 539 00:25:39,458 --> 00:25:43,500 that if you have children, it's never over? 540 00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:45,333 Because you still got the holidays. 541 00:25:45,417 --> 00:25:46,792 You still got the birthdays. 542 00:25:46,833 --> 00:25:48,667 You still got the school performances. 543 00:25:48,708 --> 00:25:50,250 You still got the soccer games. 544 00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:53,000 You've still got life together. 545 00:25:56,833 --> 00:26:00,542 And so the myth in our culture is get divorced and move on, 546 00:26:00,625 --> 00:26:03,792 but you'll carry the scars with you and if you have children, 547 00:26:03,833 --> 00:26:07,500 to some degree, you never just move on. 548 00:26:07,542 --> 00:26:12,167 In my pastoral ministry of 17 plus years, 549 00:26:12,208 --> 00:26:14,667 there have only been a few occasions where I've looked 550 00:26:14,750 --> 00:26:16,458 someone in the eye and said, 551 00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:19,375 "I believe it is time to get the divorce." 552 00:26:19,458 --> 00:26:21,292 You legalistic, religious people, 553 00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:23,250 you're going to judge me on that. 554 00:26:23,333 --> 00:26:27,667 Oftentimes you do that because you're adulterers and you--you 555 00:26:27,708 --> 00:26:33,875 want to be in control, and you need to relinquish control. 556 00:26:33,958 --> 00:26:35,667 One was a woman early on. 557 00:26:35,750 --> 00:26:38,083 Her husband committed repeat adultery on her, 558 00:26:38,167 --> 00:26:41,083 repeated, dozens of women, prostitutes. 559 00:26:41,167 --> 00:26:44,667 The guy was out of control, refused to stop traveling, 560 00:26:44,750 --> 00:26:47,667 refused to stop adulterating. 561 00:26:47,750 --> 00:26:49,792 I met with her. I met with him. 562 00:26:49,833 --> 00:26:51,833 I invested in them. I begged him. 563 00:26:51,917 --> 00:26:54,292 He would not change. 564 00:26:54,333 --> 00:26:55,833 He was not grieved. 565 00:26:55,917 --> 00:26:58,500 He was not trying. 566 00:26:58,542 --> 00:27:01,667 She got sick of taking STD tests, 567 00:27:01,708 --> 00:27:06,250 as a faithful wife. 568 00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:08,667 He then even stopped hiding it from the children, 569 00:27:08,750 --> 00:27:12,458 and certain women would show up at the house looking for him. 570 00:27:12,500 --> 00:27:14,375 She said, "What do I do?" 571 00:27:14,458 --> 00:27:19,083 What can you do? What can you do? 572 00:27:19,167 --> 00:27:21,167 It takes two people to reconcile, 573 00:27:21,250 --> 00:27:24,542 and he is making no effort toward repentance. 574 00:27:24,625 --> 00:27:26,750 There's nothing you can do. 575 00:27:26,833 --> 00:27:30,583 Very rarely have I told someone that I believe 576 00:27:30,667 --> 00:27:32,167 that we're at that point. 577 00:27:32,250 --> 00:27:36,958 But there are occasions where it gets to that point. 578 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,542 Let me say that you don't make that decision yourself; 579 00:27:39,625 --> 00:27:41,375 you make it with wise counsel. 580 00:27:41,458 --> 00:27:43,958 You get someone who is a godly pastor, 581 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,958 biblical counselor to look at all the variables and to hear 582 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,375 the other side because, let's be honest, 583 00:27:50,458 --> 00:27:53,292 sometimes someone tells the story in such a way 584 00:27:53,333 --> 00:27:55,750 that it benefits them, 585 00:27:55,833 --> 00:27:58,667 that you're not in a place to be the judge of when 586 00:27:58,708 --> 00:28:01,458 this time has come in your own life. 587 00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:04,583 And whatever you do, don't go to the Bible looking for a way 588 00:28:04,667 --> 00:28:07,667 to get what you want, OK? 589 00:28:07,750 --> 00:28:11,292 Go to the Bible looking for what God wants. 590 00:28:11,333 --> 00:28:15,458 In the Old Covenant, the penalty was death. 591 00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:20,583 In the New Covenant, the penalty was divorce. 592 00:28:20,667 --> 00:28:24,083 In the eternal kingdom, the penalty is damnation. 593 00:28:24,167 --> 00:28:26,500 You can go to hell for this. 594 00:28:26,542 --> 00:28:29,667 I was tempted, just because I know I'm going to get in trouble 595 00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:32,375 with this sermon anyways, to put "dot, dot, dot" 596 00:28:32,458 --> 00:28:35,000 in a few points on this list. 597 00:28:35,042 --> 00:28:39,000 Read fast and move on, hoping you didn't look it up. 598 00:28:39,042 --> 00:28:42,375 Let's assume that this is true, 599 00:28:42,458 --> 00:28:45,375 and then just look at the world in which we live. 600 00:28:45,458 --> 00:28:47,083 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 601 00:28:47,167 --> 00:28:48,875 "Do you not know that the unrighteousness 602 00:28:48,958 --> 00:28:51,333 will not inherit the kingdom of God?" 603 00:28:51,417 --> 00:28:54,792 Jesus says every good tree bears good fruit. 604 00:28:54,833 --> 00:28:57,792 You're not saved by your works, but you're saved to your works. 605 00:28:57,833 --> 00:29:00,333 How you live your life doesn't make you a Christian, 606 00:29:00,417 --> 00:29:04,083 but it demonstrates whether or not you are a Christian. 607 00:29:04,167 --> 00:29:05,667 "Do not be deceived"-- 608 00:29:05,750 --> 00:29:07,792 wow, there's a big idea. 609 00:29:07,833 --> 00:29:11,000 Apparently in our world, there's deception. 610 00:29:11,042 --> 00:29:13,375 I don't know if you're aware of this. 611 00:29:13,458 --> 00:29:15,583 I don't know if you're aware of the fact 612 00:29:15,667 --> 00:29:19,042 that there's deception in our world. 613 00:29:19,125 --> 00:29:21,083 "Neither the sexually immoral"-- 614 00:29:21,167 --> 00:29:23,667 this can include all kinds of sexual sin, fornicators, 615 00:29:23,750 --> 00:29:27,500 pornography, porn heads-- all of it. 616 00:29:27,542 --> 00:29:29,292 All right, the word there is porneia-- 617 00:29:29,333 --> 00:29:32,875 it's where we get our word pornographic. 618 00:29:32,958 --> 00:29:35,958 "Nor idolaters"--other religions—-"nor"--what? 619 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,083 "Adulterers. 620 00:29:39,167 --> 00:29:45,167 "Nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, 621 00:29:45,208 --> 00:29:48,875 "nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, 622 00:29:48,958 --> 00:29:51,542 nor swindlers will inherit"--what? 623 00:29:51,625 --> 00:29:53,042 "The kingdom of God." 624 00:29:53,125 --> 00:29:55,500 See, the things that we have parades for, 625 00:29:55,542 --> 00:30:01,000 God sends people to hell for. 626 00:30:01,042 --> 00:30:04,333 Hence that word "deceived" that I made mention of 627 00:30:04,375 --> 00:30:07,625 just a moment ago. 628 00:30:07,667 --> 00:30:10,625 How many of you right now, just in your soul you're like, 629 00:30:10,667 --> 00:30:13,375 "That is concerning"? 630 00:30:13,458 --> 00:30:16,125 Good, you're paying attention. 631 00:30:16,167 --> 00:30:19,333 God is holy. 632 00:30:19,375 --> 00:30:21,917 His holiness is mentioned more than any other attribute 633 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:23,583 in the Bible. 634 00:30:23,667 --> 00:30:25,208 God is a God of wrath. 635 00:30:25,292 --> 00:30:28,208 God's wrath is spoken of some 600 times. 636 00:30:28,292 --> 00:30:29,708 Do not be deceived. 637 00:30:29,792 --> 00:30:31,292 Not everyone is saved. 638 00:30:31,333 --> 00:30:32,833 Not everyone knows Jesus. 639 00:30:32,875 --> 00:30:34,208 Not everyone is forgiven. 640 00:30:34,292 --> 00:30:37,292 Not everyone is going to heaven. 641 00:30:37,333 --> 00:30:41,208 And the big idea here is not, have you sinned, 642 00:30:41,292 --> 00:30:43,833 but are you changing? 643 00:30:43,875 --> 00:30:47,000 In the next verse he says, "As some of you were." 644 00:30:47,083 --> 00:30:48,792 See the people in the Corinthian church, 645 00:30:48,833 --> 00:30:51,417 like the people in our church-- guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, 646 00:30:51,500 --> 00:30:53,167 guilty, guilty, guilty. 647 00:30:53,250 --> 00:30:56,375 And he says, but once you meet Jesus, the answer is changing, 648 00:30:56,458 --> 00:30:59,292 changing, changing, changing, changing. 649 00:30:59,333 --> 00:31:02,083 Christians aren't perfect, but they're different than they were, 650 00:31:02,167 --> 00:31:05,083 and they're in the process of becoming less like who they were 651 00:31:05,167 --> 00:31:07,208 and more like who Jesus is. 652 00:31:07,292 --> 00:31:10,417 My question to you is, has there been any change in your life? 653 00:31:10,500 --> 00:31:12,792 If there's change after meeting Jesus, 654 00:31:12,833 --> 00:31:15,000 you should have a degree of confidence that you've, 655 00:31:15,083 --> 00:31:16,417 in fact, met Jesus. 656 00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:19,417 If you've met Jesus and there's not been any change in your 657 00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:22,583 life, I would submit to you that you likely have not met Jesus, 658 00:31:22,667 --> 00:31:28,667 because you can't meet Jesus and not change. 659 00:31:31,458 --> 00:31:32,833 All sin is equal. 660 00:31:32,875 --> 00:31:36,500 And immediately when I say adultery or other sins, 661 00:31:36,542 --> 00:31:38,500 some will say, "Oh, but the Bible says 662 00:31:38,542 --> 00:31:39,875 that all sin is equal." 663 00:31:39,958 --> 00:31:41,500 All sin is equally damning 664 00:31:41,542 --> 00:31:45,417 but all sin is not equally devastating. 665 00:31:45,500 --> 00:31:52,167 Adultery has a different consequence than jaywalking. 666 00:31:52,250 --> 00:31:53,875 Do you understand that? 667 00:31:53,958 --> 00:31:56,708 The terrorism has a different consequence than stealing 668 00:31:56,792 --> 00:32:01,292 a library book, that all sin is equally damning, 669 00:32:01,333 --> 00:32:06,250 but not all sin is equally devastating. 670 00:32:06,333 --> 00:32:10,750 In light of that, I want to share just a little bit of 671 00:32:10,833 --> 00:32:13,083 statistics so that you're aware of the epidemic 672 00:32:13,167 --> 00:32:14,667 that we are dealing with. 673 00:32:14,708 --> 00:32:17,667 When it comes to infidelity and adultery statistics, 674 00:32:17,750 --> 00:32:20,250 it's hard to get accurate statistics. 675 00:32:20,333 --> 00:32:23,000 Number one, people tend not to tell the truth. 676 00:32:23,042 --> 00:32:25,583 And number two, they tend to have different definitions 677 00:32:25,667 --> 00:32:28,042 of what the terms mean. 678 00:32:28,125 --> 00:32:31,375 As criminals do, they argue over semantics. 679 00:32:31,458 --> 00:32:34,500 However, in the "Journal of Marital and Family Therapy," 680 00:32:34,542 --> 00:32:38,000 they've reported that in 41% of marriages, 681 00:32:38,042 --> 00:32:41,083 one or both spouses admit to either physical 682 00:32:41,167 --> 00:32:45,958 or emotional infidelity. Admit to it. 683 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:49,167 Seventeen percent of men and women admit to infidelity 684 00:32:49,250 --> 00:32:53,875 with a brother or sister-in-law. 685 00:32:53,958 --> 00:32:59,792 The average length of an adulterous affair is 2 years. 686 00:32:59,833 --> 00:33:04,083 How does this affect the children? 687 00:33:04,167 --> 00:33:09,750 Here's a stupid lie: it's two consenting adults 688 00:33:09,833 --> 00:33:11,250 and doesn't affect anyone else. 689 00:33:11,333 --> 00:33:13,750 How many of you would say that about the decisions 690 00:33:13,833 --> 00:33:16,167 your father made? 691 00:33:16,208 --> 00:33:18,792 See, we've got a whole generation that says, "Well, 692 00:33:18,833 --> 00:33:22,750 what two consenting adults does doesn't affect anyone else." 693 00:33:22,833 --> 00:33:24,250 Tell me about your dad. 694 00:33:24,333 --> 00:33:26,000 "My dad made these decisions 695 00:33:26,042 --> 00:33:27,500 and they ruined my life." 696 00:33:27,542 --> 00:33:31,667 OK, well, is it true that we're each an island, 697 00:33:31,708 --> 00:33:36,042 or is it true that what we do affects others? 698 00:33:36,125 --> 00:33:37,500 How does it affect the children? 699 00:33:37,542 --> 00:33:41,333 Children of divorced parents are at least 50% more likely to get 700 00:33:41,417 --> 00:33:45,167 a divorce than those from unbroken homes. 701 00:33:45,250 --> 00:33:47,375 When both the husband and the wife come from 702 00:33:47,458 --> 00:33:52,667 divorced families, the odds of divorce are 200% higher. 703 00:33:52,750 --> 00:33:55,333 Adultery affects the marriage. 704 00:33:55,417 --> 00:33:59,250 Adultery and divorce affect the children. 705 00:33:59,333 --> 00:34:01,708 A whole generation of psychological experimentation 706 00:34:01,792 --> 00:34:07,875 on marriages and families has proven to be folly. 707 00:34:07,958 --> 00:34:10,333 It's come to the point now, we have things like 708 00:34:10,417 --> 00:34:13,042 Ashleymadison.com, which is actually a dating site 709 00:34:13,125 --> 00:34:15,083 for married people who want to commit adultery 710 00:34:15,167 --> 00:34:19,042 without getting caught, and has 20 million users. 711 00:34:19,125 --> 00:34:21,875 The number-one day for signing up for a new account--well, 712 00:34:21,958 --> 00:34:24,250 the days are New Year's Day, Valentine's Day, 713 00:34:24,333 --> 00:34:27,167 Mother's Day, and Father's Day. 714 00:34:27,250 --> 00:34:31,000 Sometimes what mom wants for Mother's Day is a boyfriend, 715 00:34:31,042 --> 00:34:35,875 and what dad wants for Father's Day is a girlfriend. 716 00:34:35,958 --> 00:34:40,167 Their slogan is a dating website for--so their official slogan 717 00:34:40,250 --> 00:34:44,083 is, "Life is short, have an affair." 718 00:34:44,167 --> 00:34:49,500 Now, I mean, how many of you have actually seen that they also do 719 00:34:49,542 --> 00:34:52,667 television advertising and try to get time around 720 00:34:52,750 --> 00:34:54,167 the Super Bowl? 721 00:34:54,208 --> 00:34:57,167 This is not off in the margins. 722 00:34:57,250 --> 00:35:00,333 There are now parrot websites that profess to be 723 00:35:00,417 --> 00:35:06,792 for Christians so there is one--Christian swingers. 724 00:35:06,833 --> 00:35:10,375 Christian swingers. 725 00:35:10,458 --> 00:35:15,458 I mean, just "deceived" is a good word, right? 726 00:35:17,458 --> 00:35:19,875 By the way, I'm not telling you about this one 727 00:35:19,958 --> 00:35:24,667 so you can punch it into your phone right now. 728 00:35:24,708 --> 00:35:26,083 It's a dating site. 729 00:35:26,167 --> 00:35:32,167 Here's their slogan, "A dating site for faithful couples." 730 00:35:36,917 --> 00:35:39,250 It says, "For Christian swingers, things are not easy. 731 00:35:39,333 --> 00:35:42,167 Often other religious people judge you." 732 00:35:42,208 --> 00:35:47,083 I would be one of them. 733 00:35:47,167 --> 00:35:50,500 "Out of ignorance or envy, telling you that your lifestyle 734 00:35:50,542 --> 00:35:53,292 "and love practices are wrong, but the Bible teaches us, 735 00:35:53,333 --> 00:35:58,042 judge not lest you be judged." 736 00:35:58,125 --> 00:36:02,667 "Do not be deceived, neither the sexually immoral 737 00:36:02,750 --> 00:36:08,750 or the adulterers will inherit the kingdom of God." 738 00:36:11,458 --> 00:36:14,500 It doesn't matter what you and your spouse want to do. 739 00:36:14,542 --> 00:36:17,667 It matters what God wants you to do. 740 00:36:17,750 --> 00:36:20,958 The highest authority is not you or your spouse or both of you 741 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,375 in a unanimous vote. 742 00:36:23,458 --> 00:36:25,167 The highest authority is God. 743 00:36:25,208 --> 00:36:31,375 The vote that matters is what God has to say. 744 00:36:31,458 --> 00:36:34,792 Do not be deceived. 745 00:36:34,833 --> 00:36:37,875 In the Old Covenant, it was death. 746 00:36:37,958 --> 00:36:39,667 In the New Covenant, it is divorce. 747 00:36:39,750 --> 00:36:42,375 In the eternal kingdom, it is damnation. 748 00:36:42,458 --> 00:36:46,458 You go to hell for this. 749 00:36:48,167 --> 00:36:50,833 How many of you right now, don't raise your hand, 750 00:36:50,917 --> 00:36:56,583 are feeling relieved that you've not committed adultery? 751 00:36:56,667 --> 00:36:58,833 You have. 752 00:36:58,917 --> 00:37:00,750 Here's what Jesus has to say. 753 00:37:00,833 --> 00:37:03,375 What I find curious about Jesus is people who don't know 754 00:37:03,458 --> 00:37:05,583 the Bible think they know Jesus. 755 00:37:05,667 --> 00:37:08,083 They will say, "Well, the God of the Old Testament, 756 00:37:08,167 --> 00:37:10,583 he's really angry and harsh, but Jesus, he's really nice." 757 00:37:10,667 --> 00:37:13,250 What Jesus does in Matthew 5 is he takes the laws 758 00:37:13,333 --> 00:37:16,500 of the Old Testament and makes them more difficult. 759 00:37:16,542 --> 00:37:18,875 He doesn't lessen the requirements of the law; 760 00:37:18,958 --> 00:37:20,875 he increases. 761 00:37:20,958 --> 00:37:23,375 All right, if you read the Bible honestly, you'd say, 762 00:37:23,458 --> 00:37:25,583 "The God of the Old Testament is really tough, 763 00:37:25,667 --> 00:37:28,167 "but he's nothing like that Jesus. 764 00:37:28,208 --> 00:37:32,000 That Jesus takes things to a whole 'nother level." 765 00:37:32,042 --> 00:37:34,250 Here's one occasion when Jesus does that. 766 00:37:34,333 --> 00:37:36,750 Matthew 5:27-28, "You have heard that it was said, 767 00:37:36,833 --> 00:37:38,292 'You shall not commit adultery.'" 768 00:37:38,333 --> 00:37:40,000 Where do you hear that? 769 00:37:40,042 --> 00:37:42,292 Exodus 20:14. 770 00:37:42,333 --> 00:37:44,833 Jesus is a Bible teacher and he's commenting here on 771 00:37:44,917 --> 00:37:47,000 the Ten Commandments, and he's commenting specifically 772 00:37:47,042 --> 00:37:48,750 on the seventh commandment. 773 00:37:48,833 --> 00:37:53,292 "But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with"-- 774 00:37:53,333 --> 00:37:55,875 what? 775 00:37:55,958 --> 00:38:00,833 "Lustful intent has already committed adultery with her 776 00:38:00,875 --> 00:38:04,167 in his heart." 777 00:38:04,250 --> 00:38:06,542 See, when they heard the seventh commandment, people thought, 778 00:38:06,625 --> 00:38:08,875 "Well, adultery is what you do with your hands." 779 00:38:08,958 --> 00:38:10,833 Jesus says, "Before it involves your hands, 780 00:38:10,917 --> 00:38:13,292 it starts in your heart," 781 00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:18,583 that hand adultery and heart adultery both count. 782 00:38:18,667 --> 00:38:22,583 And heart idolatry and adultery precedes hand idolatry 783 00:38:22,667 --> 00:38:24,000 and adultery. 784 00:38:24,042 --> 00:38:25,667 And this is, friends, just the violation 785 00:38:25,750 --> 00:38:27,083 of the first two commandments. 786 00:38:27,167 --> 00:38:29,833 The first commandment is there's one God--you worship him alone. 787 00:38:29,917 --> 00:38:32,583 If you start worshiping sex, 788 00:38:32,667 --> 00:38:36,250 and all of a sudden, sex becomes god to you, 789 00:38:36,333 --> 00:38:38,167 it's the violation of the first two commandments 790 00:38:38,250 --> 00:38:40,583 that lead to the violation of the seventh commandment. 791 00:38:40,667 --> 00:38:44,250 And so Jesus deals with the heart issue behind it all. 792 00:38:44,333 --> 00:38:47,792 Now consider this, that the culture in which we live-- 793 00:38:47,833 --> 00:38:50,833 back to that word "deceived"--true or false, 794 00:38:50,917 --> 00:38:56,042 it celebrates lust and adultery? 795 00:38:56,125 --> 00:38:58,875 A study was done. It said of all the sexual acts 796 00:38:58,958 --> 00:39:01,250 that are on television, ten to one, 797 00:39:01,333 --> 00:39:03,292 they are out of the context of marriage, 798 00:39:03,333 --> 00:39:04,875 ten to one. 799 00:39:04,958 --> 00:39:07,167 A TV producer was asked why and basically said, 800 00:39:07,250 --> 00:39:09,667 "Because they're more interesting and exciting." 801 00:39:09,708 --> 00:39:11,792 Sin always is. 802 00:39:11,833 --> 00:39:16,167 Think of the popular movies in our day. 803 00:39:16,250 --> 00:39:18,375 Think of the popular books in our day. 804 00:39:18,458 --> 00:39:22,583 Think of the trashy romance novels. 805 00:39:22,667 --> 00:39:25,500 Grace and I were watching a new show the other night, "Hostage." 806 00:39:25,542 --> 00:39:30,958 We kind of like dramas. Plot line is an adulterous husband. 807 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,667 It's everywhere, so much so that we don't even recognize it 808 00:39:34,708 --> 00:39:38,792 because we think it is normative because it is so prevalent 809 00:39:38,833 --> 00:39:41,292 in all of the cultural forms of entertainment. 810 00:39:41,333 --> 00:39:43,542 Every form of the cultural-- when's the last time 811 00:39:43,625 --> 00:39:48,167 you heard a great song about a faithfully married couple, 812 00:39:48,250 --> 00:39:50,792 who grew old together and loved one another 813 00:39:50,833 --> 00:39:53,250 and didn't cheat on one another? 814 00:39:53,333 --> 00:39:56,458 When is the last time you heard a song about fornicating 815 00:39:56,500 --> 00:40:00,875 and adulterating? 816 00:40:00,958 --> 00:40:03,208 It starts in the heart. 817 00:40:03,292 --> 00:40:10,083 This would include the use of technology for cybersex, 818 00:40:10,167 --> 00:40:13,875 for sexting, for flirtation. 819 00:40:13,958 --> 00:40:16,500 You know what most divorce attorneys will tell you? 820 00:40:16,583 --> 00:40:19,625 When their client walks in the first thing they do is go 821 00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:24,333 to the spouse's Facebook page, LinkedIn page, Twitter page, 822 00:40:24,375 --> 00:40:26,417 look for YouTube videos. 823 00:40:26,500 --> 00:40:30,833 Much of present divorce cases are nothing more than presenting 824 00:40:30,875 --> 00:40:34,583 the facts from social media because that's where people go 825 00:40:34,667 --> 00:40:36,667 for heart adultery. 826 00:40:36,750 --> 00:40:40,750 True or false, this includes pornography? 827 00:40:41,750 --> 00:40:44,875 True or false, this includes pornography? 828 00:40:44,958 --> 00:40:50,625 Does pornography qualify as heart idolatry, heart adultery? 829 00:40:50,667 --> 00:40:52,000 It does. 830 00:40:52,083 --> 00:40:54,625 All right, if looking at someone with lustful intent 831 00:40:54,667 --> 00:40:59,208 means anything, it certainly includes pornography. 832 00:40:59,292 --> 00:41:02,833 So, 30% of all Internet data is pornographic. 833 00:41:02,875 --> 00:41:05,500 That's more traffic to porn sites than Netflix, 834 00:41:05,542 --> 00:41:08,333 Twitter and Amazon combined. 835 00:41:08,375 --> 00:41:11,000 It contributes to sexual addiction, 836 00:41:11,083 --> 00:41:13,500 sexual slavery, and sexual assault. 837 00:41:13,542 --> 00:41:16,708 One in four women sexually assaulted, one in six men. 838 00:41:16,792 --> 00:41:19,167 That's just reported. 839 00:41:19,250 --> 00:41:22,125 All right, we're in a culture that's absolutely untethered, 840 00:41:22,167 --> 00:41:25,000 out of control, celebrating things 841 00:41:25,083 --> 00:41:27,708 that we should be mourning. 842 00:41:27,792 --> 00:41:33,417 This also includes heart idolatry emotional affairs. 843 00:41:33,500 --> 00:41:38,500 An emotional affair is where you have adultery of the heart that 844 00:41:38,583 --> 00:41:40,333 has not yet moved to the hands, 845 00:41:40,375 --> 00:41:43,625 but it may only be a matter of time. 846 00:41:43,667 --> 00:41:47,667 If you have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex, 847 00:41:47,750 --> 00:41:50,417 particularly if there's any aspect of it is that private, 848 00:41:50,500 --> 00:41:54,583 personal, it's not a sin for two couples to be friends 849 00:41:54,667 --> 00:41:57,000 and enjoy one another, 850 00:41:57,042 --> 00:42:00,583 but when one husband goes out to coffee with another wife 851 00:42:00,667 --> 00:42:03,750 or vice versa, that's heart idolatry, 852 00:42:03,833 --> 00:42:06,667 that's heart adultery. 853 00:42:06,750 --> 00:42:10,583 When there's a close friendship--I know of a case 854 00:42:10,667 --> 00:42:13,875 some years ago where a husband would do most 855 00:42:13,958 --> 00:42:15,667 of the grocery shopping for his family 856 00:42:15,750 --> 00:42:18,167 and a wife would do grocery shopping for her family, 857 00:42:18,250 --> 00:42:20,375 so they would schedule to do their grocery shopping 858 00:42:20,458 --> 00:42:23,167 at the same time so they can visit and catch up 859 00:42:23,208 --> 00:42:25,000 and push their carts around the store, 860 00:42:25,042 --> 00:42:28,167 and then sit down and have a cup of coffee. 861 00:42:28,250 --> 00:42:30,375 Is that right or wrong? 862 00:42:30,458 --> 00:42:32,667 It's very wrong. 863 00:42:32,750 --> 00:42:36,583 See, marriage is, in large part, about friendship. 864 00:42:36,667 --> 00:42:39,667 Grace is my nearest and dearest friend. 865 00:42:39,708 --> 00:42:41,500 This is what the woman says in 866 00:42:41,542 --> 00:42:43,500 Song of Songs chapter 5, verse 16, 867 00:42:43,542 --> 00:42:46,083 "He is my lover; he is my friend." 868 00:42:46,167 --> 00:42:48,875 Part of the covenant is friendship. 869 00:42:48,958 --> 00:42:52,542 Heart idolatry and heart adultery is inclusive of having 870 00:42:52,625 --> 00:42:55,333 a deep emotional relationship and a friendship with someone 871 00:42:55,417 --> 00:42:59,875 who's not your spouse, but is of the opposite sex. 872 00:42:59,958 --> 00:43:02,000 Some women will tell you that for them, 873 00:43:02,083 --> 00:43:05,333 this is as devastating as a physical relationship. 874 00:43:05,417 --> 00:43:06,875 "You what? 875 00:43:06,958 --> 00:43:09,083 "You shared that with her, you talked with her? 876 00:43:09,167 --> 00:43:11,750 "You invited her in? 877 00:43:11,833 --> 00:43:15,083 You made those memories with her?" 878 00:43:15,167 --> 00:43:19,583 Right, ladies? 879 00:43:19,667 --> 00:43:22,333 We've actually created a category for it, 880 00:43:22,417 --> 00:43:25,167 it's called a work spouse. 881 00:43:25,208 --> 00:43:28,292 A woman gets dressed up, goes to work, looks her very best, 882 00:43:28,333 --> 00:43:30,667 performs her very best, so does her husband. 883 00:43:30,750 --> 00:43:33,167 They're gone, 8, 10, 12 hours a day, 884 00:43:33,250 --> 00:43:36,333 sometimes even traveling with business partners. 885 00:43:36,417 --> 00:43:38,333 All of a sudden, while they're at work, 886 00:43:38,417 --> 00:43:41,792 a man and a woman start to have what looks like a marriage, 887 00:43:41,833 --> 00:43:44,375 emotionally supporting, nourishing, helping, 888 00:43:44,458 --> 00:43:46,375 encouraging one another. 889 00:43:46,458 --> 00:43:49,042 So it's almost like they've almost got a spouse at work 890 00:43:49,125 --> 00:43:50,458 and a spouse at home. 891 00:43:50,500 --> 00:43:53,875 When they come home, they shift into their second spouse. 892 00:43:53,958 --> 00:43:57,792 They call it work spouse. 893 00:43:57,833 --> 00:44:02,250 Thirty-six percent of people have admitted to having 894 00:44:02,333 --> 00:44:04,542 an emotional or sexually adulterous relationship 895 00:44:04,625 --> 00:44:06,167 with a coworker-- 896 00:44:06,250 --> 00:44:08,042 thirty-six percent admit to it-- 897 00:44:08,125 --> 00:44:11,000 And thirty-five percent of business travelers admit to 898 00:44:11,042 --> 00:44:17,042 committing adultery on the road, let alone pornography. 899 00:44:23,042 --> 00:44:25,667 Romans 8:6-8, I'll just read it to you. 900 00:44:25,750 --> 00:44:29,667 "For to set the mind on the flesh is death, 901 00:44:29,708 --> 00:44:32,667 "but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 902 00:44:32,708 --> 00:44:37,000 "For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, 903 00:44:37,042 --> 00:44:41,000 for it does not submit to God's law." 904 00:44:41,042 --> 00:44:42,542 That's some of you. 905 00:44:42,625 --> 00:44:45,583 You will not submit to God's law. 906 00:44:45,667 --> 00:44:47,833 The answer for you is no. 907 00:44:47,917 --> 00:44:50,667 "I have exceptions. My life is difficult. 908 00:44:50,750 --> 00:44:54,792 "My marriage is hard. I'm under great stress. 909 00:44:54,833 --> 00:44:57,583 I think I married the wrong person." 910 00:44:57,667 --> 00:45:03,292 Will not submit to God's laws. 911 00:45:03,333 --> 00:45:05,375 "Indeed, it cannot. 912 00:45:05,458 --> 00:45:08,833 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God." 913 00:45:08,917 --> 00:45:13,042 What he's talking about is two minds, 914 00:45:13,125 --> 00:45:19,958 the mind set on the Spirit that submits to the book 915 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:21,875 that the Holy Spirit wrote, 916 00:45:21,958 --> 00:45:26,083 the Bible, that submits to God's laws, 917 00:45:26,167 --> 00:45:29,167 that wants to obey God's commands. 918 00:45:29,250 --> 00:45:33,167 And the mind that is hostile, the mind that is not just 919 00:45:33,250 --> 00:45:38,292 passively indifferent, but is actively defiant. 920 00:45:38,333 --> 00:45:44,167 My question to you is, what's your mindset? 921 00:45:44,208 --> 00:45:47,375 If even through this sermon you're trying to find 922 00:45:47,458 --> 00:45:53,000 exceptions, you're exercising a hostile mind. 923 00:45:54,500 --> 00:46:00,500 You can go to hell for that. 924 00:46:00,583 --> 00:46:03,042 Some of you say, "Are you trying to scare me?" 925 00:46:03,125 --> 00:46:05,000 Absolutely. 926 00:46:05,042 --> 00:46:07,500 It's a fearful thing to fall into the hands 927 00:46:07,542 --> 00:46:10,000 of the living God. 928 00:46:10,042 --> 00:46:12,500 When people encounter God and all of his holiness 929 00:46:12,542 --> 00:46:18,542 in the Scriptures, they are terrified. 930 00:46:21,833 --> 00:46:24,875 Let me give you some practical pastoral. 931 00:46:24,958 --> 00:46:27,875 This is for those of you who either have not committed 932 00:46:27,958 --> 00:46:31,500 adultery or you have committed adultery, 933 00:46:31,542 --> 00:46:34,000 but have worked it through and want to make sure 934 00:46:34,042 --> 00:46:35,542 that you never do that again. 935 00:46:35,625 --> 00:46:37,750 This is where it's going to get real pastoral. 936 00:46:37,833 --> 00:46:39,875 I'll share some practical things with you. 937 00:46:39,958 --> 00:46:42,167 Singles, how many of you are single? 938 00:46:42,250 --> 00:46:44,083 OK? 939 00:46:44,167 --> 00:46:46,333 Men are waiting till almost 30. 940 00:46:46,417 --> 00:46:48,833 Women are waiting until their late 20s. 941 00:46:48,917 --> 00:46:52,375 They spend their young adult years dating, 942 00:46:52,458 --> 00:46:57,875 relating and fornicating, not worshiping and waiting. 943 00:46:57,958 --> 00:47:02,750 Singles, fornicating is an internship for adultery. 944 00:47:02,833 --> 00:47:05,375 Some of you say, "I'm just having a little fun 945 00:47:05,458 --> 00:47:06,958 till I get married." 946 00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:10,042 No, you're practicing to cheat, because if you're sleeping with 947 00:47:10,125 --> 00:47:13,000 multiple people, that does not prepare you to be faithful 948 00:47:13,042 --> 00:47:14,667 to one person. 949 00:47:14,708 --> 00:47:17,167 This is why the pattern of the Bible is chastity 950 00:47:17,250 --> 00:47:19,292 before marriage and fidelity in marriage. 951 00:47:19,333 --> 00:47:21,167 They go together. 952 00:47:21,250 --> 00:47:25,792 Sleeping around does not result in never sleeping around. 953 00:47:25,833 --> 00:47:30,083 Whatever degree you got, are you smart enough to see that? 954 00:47:30,167 --> 00:47:36,000 You smart enough to see that? 955 00:47:36,042 --> 00:47:38,750 Number two, married couples fight for fidelity 956 00:47:38,833 --> 00:47:41,167 with freedom and frequency. 957 00:47:41,250 --> 00:47:43,583 There is never an excuse for adultery. 958 00:47:43,667 --> 00:47:50,333 Jesus lived, died, rose a virgin, OK? 959 00:47:52,625 --> 00:47:55,875 You don't have to have sex. 960 00:47:55,958 --> 00:47:57,292 See, in the early church, 961 00:47:57,333 --> 00:48:00,250 it was virtuous to be chaste and unmarried. 962 00:48:00,333 --> 00:48:05,542 In our day, we make comedies about 40-year-old virgins, 963 00:48:05,625 --> 00:48:09,875 because that's a joke that nobody even could conceive of. 964 00:48:09,958 --> 00:48:14,833 Part of the fruit of the spirit is self-control. 965 00:48:14,917 --> 00:48:20,083 Once you get married, however, a good defense is 966 00:48:20,167 --> 00:48:22,667 frequency and freedom. 967 00:48:22,750 --> 00:48:24,375 I know there's children in the room. 968 00:48:24,458 --> 00:48:27,500 I'm not going to get into great detail, but you married couples, 969 00:48:27,542 --> 00:48:29,750 do you get my point here? 970 00:48:29,833 --> 00:48:34,542 If you're together a lot and it's not always the same, yay. 971 00:48:34,625 --> 00:48:40,250 OK, point number three. OK, this one's important. 972 00:48:40,333 --> 00:48:43,792 Before you cheat on your spouse, you have to cheat on God first. 973 00:48:43,833 --> 00:48:46,667 The first commandment, one God. 974 00:48:46,708 --> 00:48:49,250 Second commandment, you worship that God alone. 975 00:48:49,333 --> 00:48:51,667 Adultery doesn't come until the seventh commandment, 976 00:48:51,750 --> 00:48:54,042 and you won't even get to the seventh commandment 977 00:48:54,125 --> 00:48:56,292 if you don't violate the first two commandments. 978 00:48:56,333 --> 00:48:59,292 Sex is god, and I worship by having sexual sin. 979 00:48:59,333 --> 00:49:02,000 That's why in Romans 12, he says to offer your bodies 980 00:49:02,083 --> 00:49:04,583 as a living sacrifice holy and acceptable unto God 981 00:49:04,667 --> 00:49:07,000 because this is your spiritual act of worship. 982 00:49:07,042 --> 00:49:12,667 Worship is what you do with your body. 983 00:49:12,750 --> 00:49:15,167 You can't say, "Man, I was walking with Jesus. 984 00:49:15,250 --> 00:49:16,958 Next thing I know, I committed adultery." 985 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:19,000 No, you weren't. 986 00:49:19,042 --> 00:49:22,667 Jesus didn't lead you into adultery. 987 00:49:22,750 --> 00:49:25,833 Number four, sexual sin starts with your eyes which then 988 00:49:25,917 --> 00:49:27,333 recruit your hands. 989 00:49:27,417 --> 00:49:30,333 In Job 31:1 he says, "I made a covenant with my eyes 990 00:49:30,417 --> 00:49:33,000 not to look upon a woman lustfully." 991 00:49:33,042 --> 00:49:37,042 Adultery doesn't start here, it starts here--who you look at, 992 00:49:37,125 --> 00:49:41,875 what you look at, what you click through, what you're enticed by. 993 00:49:41,958 --> 00:49:48,292 Your eyes, your eyes, are the beginning of your adultery, 994 00:49:48,333 --> 00:49:51,542 and then they recruit your hands. 995 00:49:51,625 --> 00:49:53,750 So guard your eyes. 996 00:49:53,833 --> 00:49:57,250 Guard what you see. 997 00:49:57,333 --> 00:49:59,500 Number five, to conquer your biology, 998 00:49:59,542 --> 00:50:03,000 stop seeing people sexually and start seeing them as family. 999 00:50:03,042 --> 00:50:06,625 In our day, we have really a perverted notion where it's 1000 00:50:06,667 --> 00:50:10,917 like strangers and potential sexual objects. 1001 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,417 The Bible has a third category where we treat people 1002 00:50:13,500 --> 00:50:14,833 like family. 1003 00:50:14,875 --> 00:50:16,500 It says this in 1 Timothy 5:1-2, 1004 00:50:16,583 --> 00:50:19,500 to treat women like sisters and men like brothers. 1005 00:50:19,542 --> 00:50:21,000 Jesus did this. 1006 00:50:21,042 --> 00:50:24,125 Mary and Martha were two women in the Bible who were kind of 1007 00:50:24,167 --> 00:50:26,625 almost like sisters to Jesus, and he really loved them, 1008 00:50:26,667 --> 00:50:28,833 and they were friends, and there was nothing sexual 1009 00:50:28,875 --> 00:50:32,417 or inappropriate of any sort or kind. 1010 00:50:32,500 --> 00:50:37,083 There are women in this church that feel like a sister to me. 1011 00:50:37,167 --> 00:50:39,792 There are men in this church that feel like a brother 1012 00:50:39,833 --> 00:50:41,833 to my wife. 1013 00:50:41,875 --> 00:50:43,917 That's a great category. 1014 00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:47,333 You can love your sibling, you can talk to them, 1015 00:50:47,375 --> 00:50:53,125 but not going to be sexually interested in them. 1016 00:50:53,167 --> 00:50:56,292 This is where, in the church, we have a category that the culture 1017 00:50:56,333 --> 00:50:58,917 doesn't have that allows healthy, loving, 1018 00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:01,750 appropriate male/female relationships. 1019 00:51:01,833 --> 00:51:04,125 Do you get that? 1020 00:51:04,167 --> 00:51:08,000 Number six, sexual purity requires both a passionate 1021 00:51:08,083 --> 00:51:10,917 want to and a plan for how to. 1022 00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:12,833 The want to precedes the how to. 1023 00:51:12,875 --> 00:51:17,625 If you don't want to be sexually pure, no plan is going to work. 1024 00:51:17,667 --> 00:51:20,417 If you want to be sexually pure, that's a good start, 1025 00:51:20,500 --> 00:51:23,417 but then you need a plan for how to maintain sexually purity. 1026 00:51:23,500 --> 00:51:26,833 And I would submit to you that in the world in which we live, 1027 00:51:26,875 --> 00:51:28,208 you need a plan. 1028 00:51:28,292 --> 00:51:31,000 You need a plan, and you need to know your own 1029 00:51:31,042 --> 00:51:32,375 strengths and weaknesses. 1030 00:51:32,458 --> 00:51:34,875 And hear me in this, there's a difference between legalism 1031 00:51:34,958 --> 00:51:37,667 and personal legalism. 1032 00:51:37,750 --> 00:51:40,500 Legalism is where I take my conscience and my rules 1033 00:51:40,583 --> 00:51:44,417 that are outside of the Bible and I impose them on everyone. 1034 00:51:44,500 --> 00:51:46,417 We don't want to do that. 1035 00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:48,167 Personal legalism is where, 1036 00:51:48,250 --> 00:51:50,333 in addition to the teachings of the Scripture, 1037 00:51:50,375 --> 00:51:52,833 I know where I'm weak and vulnerable so I put 1038 00:51:52,875 --> 00:51:56,375 some safeguards in my life for myself that I wouldn't impose on 1039 00:51:56,458 --> 00:51:59,125 everyone but I'd be happy to share because if they could 1040 00:51:59,167 --> 00:52:03,542 benefit from them, then I'm glad to share how I do things. 1041 00:52:03,625 --> 00:52:05,875 Make sense? 1042 00:52:05,958 --> 00:52:08,833 So I'll give you some examples from my own life. 1043 00:52:08,917 --> 00:52:12,792 By God's grace, I've been 100% faithful to my wife. 1044 00:52:12,833 --> 00:52:17,250 I have not had any emotional or physical adultery or affair. 1045 00:52:18,667 --> 00:52:20,542 I met her at the age of 17. 1046 00:52:20,625 --> 00:52:22,458 We've been together now 25 years. 1047 00:52:22,500 --> 00:52:24,667 We've been married 20 years. 1048 00:52:24,750 --> 00:52:27,542 And I'm a guy who is honestly terrified of going anywhere 1049 00:52:27,625 --> 00:52:29,292 near the line. 1050 00:52:29,333 --> 00:52:34,792 To me the line is like nuclear so I stay far away, right? 1051 00:52:34,833 --> 00:52:37,500 Wherever the line is, I don't even want to see it. 1052 00:52:37,542 --> 00:52:42,000 I want to be so far away that I can't see that line. 1053 00:52:42,042 --> 00:52:45,167 Here are some things from my own life. 1054 00:52:45,250 --> 00:52:51,250 I have a male assistant because I have to travel. 1055 00:52:51,333 --> 00:52:54,167 My male assistant is married with a wife, 1056 00:52:54,208 --> 00:52:58,083 so just assume that we're both very sad to be 1057 00:52:58,167 --> 00:53:04,000 in a hotel together, OK? 1058 00:53:04,042 --> 00:53:08,500 I'm never alone with a woman unless she's a relative. 1059 00:53:08,542 --> 00:53:11,000 Early on at Mars Hill, someone came up and said, 1060 00:53:11,042 --> 00:53:12,500 "I saw you kiss another woman." 1061 00:53:12,542 --> 00:53:15,000 I kissed her on the head and she's my sister, 1062 00:53:15,042 --> 00:53:16,583 literally my little sister. 1063 00:53:16,667 --> 00:53:19,083 She showed up for church the first time she ever-- 1064 00:53:19,167 --> 00:53:20,958 "Oh, good to see you. Hi, Marky." 1065 00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:22,458 And I gave her a kiss. 1066 00:53:22,500 --> 00:53:23,958 They're like, "You're an adulterer." 1067 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:25,458 No, I'm not; I'm a brother. 1068 00:53:25,500 --> 00:53:28,500 So, I don't meet with any woman one on one unless 1069 00:53:28,542 --> 00:53:34,458 it's a relative--my sisters, my mom, my daughters. 1070 00:53:34,500 --> 00:53:39,458 Another one for me, I never travel alone. 1071 00:53:39,500 --> 00:53:42,375 My agreement with the elders and the executive elders and my wife 1072 00:53:42,458 --> 00:53:44,167 is I don't travel alone, I don't. 1073 00:53:44,208 --> 00:53:46,875 My male assistant goes with me or one of the pastors 1074 00:53:46,958 --> 00:53:48,875 goes with me or Grace goes with me. 1075 00:53:48,958 --> 00:53:50,292 I never travel alone. 1076 00:53:50,333 --> 00:53:52,583 My view is if you have nothing to hide, 1077 00:53:52,667 --> 00:53:55,500 then don't hide anything. 1078 00:53:55,542 --> 00:54:00,250 I also work from home a lot, just around my wife and kids 1079 00:54:00,333 --> 00:54:02,333 as much as I am able. 1080 00:54:02,417 --> 00:54:05,167 I never stay in a hotel alone. Never. 1081 00:54:05,250 --> 00:54:09,083 I never have my--never, never stay in a hotel alone. 1082 00:54:09,167 --> 00:54:11,667 Either somebody stays in the room with me, 1083 00:54:11,750 --> 00:54:15,750 or we get adjoining rooms and we leave the doors open. 1084 00:54:15,833 --> 00:54:20,000 I have no movie channels at my house that have any Skin-emax 1085 00:54:20,042 --> 00:54:25,667 or that, you know, HBO or that nonsense. 1086 00:54:25,750 --> 00:54:27,958 We don't have that. 1087 00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:32,250 I have one phone and one phone number. 1088 00:54:32,333 --> 00:54:35,167 I don't have another one where people can get a hold of me 1089 00:54:35,250 --> 00:54:38,167 apart from the office and my family. 1090 00:54:38,250 --> 00:54:40,833 I have one email address and it comes through Mars Hill, 1091 00:54:40,917 --> 00:54:43,292 so there's no other way for me to have conversations, 1092 00:54:43,333 --> 00:54:47,667 and every single email comes through my assistant. 1093 00:54:47,708 --> 00:54:50,167 I have one computer, so I don't have another computer 1094 00:54:50,250 --> 00:54:52,167 so I can go download things I shouldn't. 1095 00:54:52,250 --> 00:54:53,667 I have one computer. 1096 00:54:53,750 --> 00:54:56,167 My computer is backed up and everything on my computer, 1097 00:54:56,250 --> 00:54:58,167 every website I visit, every document I have, 1098 00:54:58,250 --> 00:55:00,917 every email I've sent, it's backed up at the church 1099 00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:06,167 and the church has access to everything. 1100 00:55:06,250 --> 00:55:12,083 In addition, social media-- I don't have direct access. 1101 00:55:12,167 --> 00:55:16,167 There's a staff that helps oversee that so I don't have 1102 00:55:16,250 --> 00:55:18,292 private conversations with people. 1103 00:55:18,333 --> 00:55:21,083 Everything is viewed by deacons at the church and available 1104 00:55:21,167 --> 00:55:24,750 to the executive elders at the church. 1105 00:55:24,833 --> 00:55:28,083 For me--and some of you say, "Do I have to do all this? 1106 00:55:28,167 --> 00:55:31,292 "Do I have to get some sort of software on my computer that 1107 00:55:31,333 --> 00:55:34,000 "blocks certain sites or sends an accountability report 1108 00:55:34,042 --> 00:55:35,875 to my spouse like Covenant Eyes?" 1109 00:55:35,958 --> 00:55:39,500 Here's what I'd say: be honest about your own weaknesses, 1110 00:55:39,542 --> 00:55:43,000 be honest about your own vulnerabilities, and put in your 1111 00:55:43,042 --> 00:55:47,583 life personal legalisms that help you to maintain purity. 1112 00:55:47,667 --> 00:55:49,292 And for different people, 1113 00:55:49,333 --> 00:55:51,000 those are going to be different things. 1114 00:55:51,042 --> 00:55:53,000 And even in your Community Group this week, 1115 00:55:53,042 --> 00:55:56,000 talk about those things, and you can pick up some good ideas 1116 00:55:56,042 --> 00:55:57,500 from other people. 1117 00:55:57,542 --> 00:56:00,750 My rule is if you have nothing to hide then hide nothing. 1118 00:56:00,833 --> 00:56:02,542 And the more responsibility you have, 1119 00:56:02,625 --> 00:56:07,083 the more careful you need to be. 1120 00:56:07,167 --> 00:56:11,542 Number seven, men--any men? 1121 00:56:11,625 --> 00:56:14,792 Men? 1122 00:56:14,833 --> 00:56:17,542 Your manhood is not best expressed by conquering ladies, 1123 00:56:17,625 --> 00:56:20,167 but rather, conquering lust. 1124 00:56:20,250 --> 00:56:24,500 An animal will conquer others. 1125 00:56:24,542 --> 00:56:28,792 A Spirit-filled man conquers himself--self-discipline, 1126 00:56:28,833 --> 00:56:31,167 self-control. 1127 00:56:31,208 --> 00:56:35,042 You're a worshiper; you're not an animal. 1128 00:56:35,125 --> 00:56:38,375 Ladies, any ladies? 1129 00:56:38,458 --> 00:56:40,333 Men are indeed a problem, 1130 00:56:40,417 --> 00:56:42,958 but you know they're only half the problem. 1131 00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,667 Right, ladies? 1132 00:56:44,750 --> 00:56:46,875 Every time I hammer on the men, people cheer. 1133 00:56:46,958 --> 00:56:48,875 Soon as I say something about the ladies, 1134 00:56:48,958 --> 00:56:52,167 then the media gets a little frustrated, OK? 1135 00:56:52,250 --> 00:56:53,583 You women are sinful; 1136 00:56:53,667 --> 00:56:55,875 you women have your own ways of doing things. 1137 00:56:55,958 --> 00:56:57,292 Some you women are flirtatious. 1138 00:56:57,333 --> 00:56:59,792 Some of you women say, "Well, I never committed adultery." 1139 00:56:59,833 --> 00:57:01,250 How about an emotional affair? 1140 00:57:01,333 --> 00:57:02,750 "Well, what's an emotional affair?" 1141 00:57:02,833 --> 00:57:04,167 OK, now we know. 1142 00:57:04,208 --> 00:57:06,875 All right, as soon as you start arguing about the definition, 1143 00:57:06,958 --> 00:57:08,958 we know where your heart is, all right? 1144 00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:11,458 And some of you say, "Well, you know, he initiated." 1145 00:57:11,500 --> 00:57:13,458 Well, OK, but you're not a passive woman; 1146 00:57:13,500 --> 00:57:16,667 you're a godly woman. 1147 00:57:16,750 --> 00:57:19,000 We can't just blame this all on the men. 1148 00:57:19,042 --> 00:57:21,375 Men bear large responsibility, 1149 00:57:21,458 --> 00:57:25,167 but they don't bear entire responsibility. 1150 00:57:25,208 --> 00:57:27,667 Number nine, define your life forward then live it backward. 1151 00:57:27,708 --> 00:57:29,667 Here's the big idea: look down the road, 1152 00:57:29,708 --> 00:57:31,500 what do you want for your future? 1153 00:57:31,542 --> 00:57:36,167 Here's what I want: I want to grow old with Grace. 1154 00:57:36,208 --> 00:57:39,250 I want to be friends with her. 1155 00:57:39,333 --> 00:57:43,292 I want to hold her hand when we're old and wrinkled, 1156 00:57:43,333 --> 00:57:47,500 and I want to hear our grandkids running around our house. 1157 00:57:47,542 --> 00:57:50,875 When Christmas comes, I want her to sit on the couch next to me, 1158 00:57:50,958 --> 00:57:53,375 and I want to see that look in her eye 1159 00:57:53,458 --> 00:57:54,875 and that smile on her face 1160 00:57:54,958 --> 00:57:58,167 as we see our kids and our grandkids enjoying 1161 00:57:58,250 --> 00:58:00,750 the grace of God together in our home. 1162 00:58:00,833 --> 00:58:03,583 That's what I want. 1163 00:58:03,667 --> 00:58:07,375 So all the decisions I make along the way need to be 1164 00:58:07,458 --> 00:58:11,458 decisions that help lead to that end. 1165 00:58:11,500 --> 00:58:16,542 When you get shortsighted, you ultimately damage your future. 1166 00:58:20,208 --> 00:58:24,458 Recently, in recent months, one of my sons--a couple of the kids 1167 00:58:24,500 --> 00:58:26,083 who are from supposedly Christian families, 1168 00:58:26,167 --> 00:58:27,500 not Mars Hill families, 1169 00:58:27,542 --> 00:58:30,167 but the dads ran off with other women or the woman-- 1170 00:58:30,250 --> 00:58:32,000 the wife ran off with other men, 1171 00:58:32,042 --> 00:58:33,375 and the family's falling apart 1172 00:58:33,458 --> 00:58:34,875 and these are his friends' families. 1173 00:58:34,958 --> 00:58:37,875 So I was sitting down with my son recently with--we were just 1174 00:58:37,958 --> 00:58:39,292 having lunch and visiting. 1175 00:58:39,333 --> 00:58:42,000 And I said, "Is there anything I can do for you, 1176 00:58:42,042 --> 00:58:45,167 anything I can pray for you, any questions I can answer for you?" 1177 00:58:45,250 --> 00:58:47,667 And I'm thinking maybe he's got stuff in his life. 1178 00:58:47,750 --> 00:58:49,167 He looks at me and says, 1179 00:58:49,250 --> 00:58:50,875 "Have you ever committed adultery on mom?" 1180 00:58:50,958 --> 00:58:53,375 OK, that's my son, we're just going to do this. 1181 00:58:53,458 --> 00:58:55,167 OK, all right. 1182 00:58:55,208 --> 00:58:57,792 I said, "Buddy, I've been faithful to your mom. 1183 00:58:57,833 --> 00:58:59,583 I love her with all my heart." 1184 00:58:59,667 --> 00:59:02,458 I said, "You know, daddy got saved before he met mom. 1185 00:59:02,500 --> 00:59:04,958 "If I wouldn't have got saved before I met mom, 1186 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:08,333 "I don't know who I would have been or what I would have done. 1187 00:59:08,417 --> 00:59:10,333 "But I got saved before I married mom. 1188 00:59:10,417 --> 00:59:12,542 "And since I got saved before I married mom, 1189 00:59:12,625 --> 00:59:14,750 Jesus has kept me 100% faithful to your mom." 1190 00:59:14,833 --> 00:59:17,958 He said, "I just needed to know if you guys are going to 1191 00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:21,167 get divorced and if I'm going to end up in the same spot." 1192 00:59:21,208 --> 00:59:23,167 "Buddy, you can check that off your list. 1193 00:59:23,208 --> 00:59:24,542 "Nothing to worry about. 1194 00:59:24,625 --> 00:59:26,042 "Daddy loves Jesus. Daddy loves mom. 1195 00:59:26,125 --> 00:59:27,542 "Mom and dad love each other. 1196 00:59:27,625 --> 00:59:29,042 "We've been faithful to one another. 1197 00:59:29,125 --> 00:59:31,583 "You worry about your homework, not our marriage, OK? 1198 00:59:31,667 --> 00:59:35,375 We got this." 1199 00:59:35,458 --> 00:59:37,667 Number ten, nurture your deepest desires. 1200 00:59:37,708 --> 00:59:40,500 He says in Galatians that the Spirit and the flesh war 1201 00:59:40,542 --> 00:59:43,167 against one another and that the flesh keeps you from doing-- 1202 00:59:43,250 --> 00:59:47,167 here's the big word-- what you want to do. 1203 00:59:47,250 --> 00:59:49,500 If you're a Christian, you may have temptations 1204 00:59:49,542 --> 00:59:52,833 but your deepest desires are for purity. 1205 00:59:52,917 --> 00:59:56,667 All right, you want to be faithful to your spouse. 1206 00:59:56,750 --> 00:59:58,792 You want to grow old together. 1207 00:59:58,833 --> 01:00:01,250 You want to take care of one another. 1208 01:00:01,333 --> 01:00:06,417 You don't want to drop a nuclear bomb in your family legacy. 1209 01:00:06,500 --> 01:00:10,833 Nurture your deepest desires. 1210 01:00:10,875 --> 01:00:15,125 I want to be faithful to Grace. 1211 01:00:15,167 --> 01:00:19,417 I want to be faithful, moreover, to Jesus. 1212 01:00:19,500 --> 01:00:22,625 All right, my covenant with him is the most important covenant 1213 01:00:22,667 --> 01:00:26,000 of all and my covenant with her is the second most important 1214 01:00:26,083 --> 01:00:28,208 covenant of all. 1215 01:00:28,292 --> 01:00:33,500 Nurture your deepest desires and you'll stay out of trouble. 1216 01:00:33,542 --> 01:00:36,625 The problem is not that some of you have too passionate desires 1217 01:00:36,667 --> 01:00:39,917 that your desires are too weak, that you'll settle for 1218 01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:42,333 pornography and adultery when you can have a covenant with 1219 01:00:42,375 --> 01:00:44,292 Jesus and your spouse. 1220 01:00:44,333 --> 01:00:49,625 You need to be more passionate and nourish the deepest desires. 1221 01:00:49,667 --> 01:00:53,125 And number 11, you should come clean before you get caught. 1222 01:00:53,167 --> 01:00:56,375 Some of you are already living under the anxiety of, 1223 01:00:56,458 --> 01:00:59,375 "I'm guilty; I hope I don't get caught." 1224 01:00:59,458 --> 01:01:02,917 And some of you are living under this myth, "If I tell my spouse, 1225 01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:04,417 then that will hurt our marriage." 1226 01:01:04,500 --> 01:01:06,583 The truth is, it's already damaged, 1227 01:01:06,667 --> 01:01:08,792 and the other person doesn't know why. 1228 01:01:08,833 --> 01:01:12,708 The intimacy is severed because what sin does is sin separates. 1229 01:01:12,792 --> 01:01:14,208 It never reconciles. 1230 01:01:14,292 --> 01:01:15,792 Sin distances. 1231 01:01:15,833 --> 01:01:20,625 It never unifies. 1232 01:01:20,667 --> 01:01:24,625 Seventy-four percent of men have said that they 1233 01:01:24,667 --> 01:01:26,917 would commit adultery if they could be guaranteed 1234 01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:29,167 they never get caught. 1235 01:01:29,250 --> 01:01:31,667 Sixty-eight percent of women have said that they would commit 1236 01:01:31,750 --> 01:01:35,958 adultery if they were assured they would never be caught. 1237 01:01:39,167 --> 01:01:43,125 Let's just be honest and say that God has already caught you. 1238 01:01:43,167 --> 01:01:47,125 He knows. 1239 01:01:47,167 --> 01:01:51,792 And so what I'm going to ask you to do is have the talks, because 1240 01:01:51,833 --> 01:01:55,208 many of you don't want to have the talks, but because I love you 1241 01:01:55,292 --> 01:01:57,917 and I'm your pastor, I need you to have the talks. 1242 01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:03,667 The first talk is with Jesus. And if there is adultery 1243 01:02:03,750 --> 01:02:05,667 or adultery of the heart, 1244 01:02:05,750 --> 01:02:08,750 you need to have the talk with Jesus. 1245 01:02:08,833 --> 01:02:10,833 You need to confess your sin to him. 1246 01:02:10,917 --> 01:02:14,667 You need to get some hours away in a quiet, private place. 1247 01:02:14,750 --> 01:02:17,167 You need to get a journal and a pen. 1248 01:02:17,208 --> 01:02:21,167 You need to write down all of your sexual sin. 1249 01:02:21,250 --> 01:02:23,792 Write it all down. 1250 01:02:23,833 --> 01:02:27,542 It's going to take some hours to remember things. 1251 01:02:27,625 --> 01:02:31,833 Ask the Holy Spirit to convict you of sin so that you 1252 01:02:31,917 --> 01:02:33,792 could see, apart from the grace of God, 1253 01:02:33,833 --> 01:02:35,792 who you are and what you do. 1254 01:02:35,833 --> 01:02:40,167 This will destroy you, and it's exactly what you need. 1255 01:02:40,208 --> 01:02:44,083 You need to see yourself as God sees you so that you'll know you 1256 01:02:44,167 --> 01:02:50,292 need God to help you and to save you from yourself. 1257 01:02:50,333 --> 01:02:52,792 And you need to pray, you need to cry, 1258 01:02:52,833 --> 01:02:57,375 you need to call out to Jesus, you need to ask for forgiveness. 1259 01:02:57,458 --> 01:03:04,083 You need to work on that first covenant. That's the first talk. 1260 01:03:04,167 --> 01:03:09,083 The second talk is then the talk with your spouse. 1261 01:03:09,167 --> 01:03:15,458 So I'm going to ask the two of you to pray before you meet. 1262 01:03:16,458 --> 01:03:20,375 You don't do this in a way that is hasty. 1263 01:03:20,458 --> 01:03:25,458 I want you to schedule a time to have this talk. 1264 01:03:28,208 --> 01:03:30,083 And say, "You know what? 1265 01:03:30,167 --> 01:03:32,542 "Pastor Mark said we need to have the talk. 1266 01:03:32,625 --> 01:03:36,875 "We're going to carve out time to do that. 1267 01:03:36,958 --> 01:03:39,375 "It's going to be private. 1268 01:03:39,458 --> 01:03:42,167 "It's not going to be when the kids are running around 1269 01:03:42,208 --> 01:03:44,583 "the living room when we're trying to have this talk. 1270 01:03:44,667 --> 01:03:47,792 "It may mean that we even have to go away for an overnight 1271 01:03:47,833 --> 01:03:51,042 somewhere so we have uninterrupted time." 1272 01:03:51,125 --> 01:03:55,167 I want you to be praying about that second talk. 1273 01:03:55,250 --> 01:03:57,167 Once you get things cleared up with Jesus, 1274 01:03:57,250 --> 01:04:00,250 then he'll help you know what to do in the second talk 1275 01:04:00,333 --> 01:04:01,833 with your spouse. 1276 01:04:01,917 --> 01:04:05,250 I want you to write down all the things that you need to share 1277 01:04:05,333 --> 01:04:07,792 with your spouse, everything that the Holy Spirit convicts 1278 01:04:07,833 --> 01:04:10,542 and compels you to share--all the truth. 1279 01:04:10,625 --> 01:04:13,958 Walk in the light as he is in the light and we have fellowship 1280 01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:15,333 with one another. 1281 01:04:15,417 --> 01:04:17,083 Get it all out there. 1282 01:04:17,167 --> 01:04:19,500 Get it all out there. 1283 01:04:19,542 --> 01:04:22,792 Write it all down so that when you meet, 1284 01:04:22,833 --> 01:04:26,292 you make sure that you've got this prepared so that 1285 01:04:26,333 --> 01:04:28,792 as the conversation becomes very emotional, 1286 01:04:28,833 --> 01:04:34,833 you are able to have a decent conversation. 1287 01:04:36,458 --> 01:04:40,458 Going into this, if you need wise counsel, seek wise counsel. 1288 01:04:40,500 --> 01:04:43,333 Be very careful who you invite in. 1289 01:04:43,417 --> 01:04:46,583 Do not invite in, at this stage, your family. 1290 01:04:46,667 --> 01:04:49,667 Don't talk to close relatives. 1291 01:04:49,750 --> 01:04:52,958 Don't just talk to friends who take your side. 1292 01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,083 All right, if you're an adulterer, 1293 01:04:55,167 --> 01:04:59,333 don't find your adulterer friend and have them enable you. 1294 01:04:59,417 --> 01:05:02,250 Biblical counselor, small group, 1295 01:05:02,333 --> 01:05:04,958 Community Group leader, Redemption Group leader, 1296 01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:06,875 pastor. 1297 01:05:06,958 --> 01:05:08,667 Get some wise counsel. "OK, 1298 01:05:08,708 --> 01:05:10,167 "here's what I'm dealing with. 1299 01:05:10,208 --> 01:05:12,292 "Pastor Mark said we need to have the talks. 1300 01:05:12,333 --> 01:05:14,500 "I need a little counsel, a little wisdom here 1301 01:05:14,542 --> 01:05:16,167 on what I need to do." 1302 01:05:16,250 --> 01:05:18,167 This could be a very godly friend, 1303 01:05:18,250 --> 01:05:20,958 but not a friend who takes your side-- 1304 01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:24,375 a friend who takes God's side. 1305 01:05:24,458 --> 01:05:27,167 And then when you sit down and share, 1306 01:05:27,250 --> 01:05:31,500 don't have any expectations on their reaction. 1307 01:05:31,542 --> 01:05:34,583 For some people, they are shell shocked. 1308 01:05:34,667 --> 01:05:36,333 They are stunned. 1309 01:05:36,417 --> 01:05:40,042 They are without emotion in that moment because it's a moment 1310 01:05:40,125 --> 01:05:42,167 frozen in time for them. 1311 01:05:42,208 --> 01:05:44,667 Other people get very angry. Other people become 1312 01:05:44,750 --> 01:05:47,875 very destroyed and distraught and devastated. 1313 01:05:47,958 --> 01:05:49,375 Don't look at somebody and say, 1314 01:05:49,458 --> 01:05:51,083 "I can't believe you responded like that." 1315 01:05:51,167 --> 01:05:53,792 You have no right to put any expectation 1316 01:05:53,833 --> 01:05:55,167 on their reaction. 1317 01:05:55,250 --> 01:06:00,250 They get to feel what they feel. 1318 01:06:00,333 --> 01:06:06,333 In addition, no partial confession. 1319 01:06:06,417 --> 01:06:09,083 Sometimes what we do is to assuage our guilt 1320 01:06:09,167 --> 01:06:11,667 and conscience, we'll share just enough that we feel better 1321 01:06:11,708 --> 01:06:14,292 and they feel trusting and then we hide the rest. 1322 01:06:14,333 --> 01:06:17,042 If you're going to deal with it, deal with it all. 1323 01:06:17,125 --> 01:06:20,167 Don't put them through the pain of dealing with a little bit now 1324 01:06:20,250 --> 01:06:22,375 and someday we'll deal with a little bit more. 1325 01:06:22,458 --> 01:06:25,083 That's like a surgeon going in for a cancer and saying, 1326 01:06:25,167 --> 01:06:26,583 "We'll get a little bit now. 1327 01:06:26,667 --> 01:06:28,083 "We'll get a little bit later. 1328 01:06:28,167 --> 01:06:31,083 "And in a few years, we'll go in and get some more. 1329 01:06:31,167 --> 01:06:34,292 You know, no need to be hasty and get it all at once." 1330 01:06:34,333 --> 01:06:38,792 No, let's get it all at once. 1331 01:06:38,833 --> 01:06:41,458 And when you share, share the basic data, 1332 01:06:41,500 --> 01:06:47,458 not the bare details. 1333 01:06:47,500 --> 01:06:51,667 Sometimes people want to, "Well, did this and this?" 1334 01:06:51,750 --> 01:06:53,167 And they get very specific. 1335 01:06:53,250 --> 01:06:54,875 Say, "You know what? I love you. 1336 01:06:54,958 --> 01:06:58,042 "To give you all the details would be devastating. 1337 01:06:58,125 --> 01:07:01,250 "In the future, you're welcome to ask specific questions, 1338 01:07:01,333 --> 01:07:02,958 "and I'll try and be honest. 1339 01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:06,292 "But right now, I don't want to make this more devastating 1340 01:07:06,333 --> 01:07:07,792 "and difficult than it is. 1341 01:07:07,833 --> 01:07:13,958 I'll share the basic details and not the bare details." 1342 01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:15,667 So, when you schedule this time 1343 01:07:15,750 --> 01:07:22,083 and you sit down with your spouse, the first question is, 1344 01:07:22,167 --> 01:07:25,875 "Is there anything I need to know?" 1345 01:07:25,958 --> 01:07:31,333 If the answer is yes, then you have the talk. 1346 01:07:31,417 --> 01:07:34,833 If the answer is no, "I haven't committed adultery. 1347 01:07:34,917 --> 01:07:36,583 "I'm not a porn head. 1348 01:07:36,667 --> 01:07:39,333 I don't have a lot of secret sin to tell ya," 1349 01:07:39,417 --> 01:07:41,042 then the next question is, 1350 01:07:41,125 --> 01:07:43,875 "How do we safeguard our marriage going forward? 1351 01:07:43,958 --> 01:07:47,167 "What things can we do to have a better, more loving, close, 1352 01:07:47,250 --> 01:07:50,333 intimate relationship?" 1353 01:07:50,417 --> 01:07:54,000 And let me tell you this, the talk is not the end-- 1354 01:07:54,042 --> 01:07:55,500 it's the beginning. 1355 01:07:55,542 --> 01:07:57,667 Don't think, "Boy, I'm glad we had the talk 1356 01:07:57,750 --> 01:07:59,167 and now we can move on." 1357 01:07:59,250 --> 01:08:03,292 No, this is like cancer surgery. 1358 01:08:03,333 --> 01:08:06,792 You go in, you cut it out but then the body's got to heal, 1359 01:08:06,833 --> 01:08:08,292 and then you need physical therapy, 1360 01:08:08,333 --> 01:08:10,000 and then you need to regain health. 1361 01:08:10,042 --> 01:08:14,500 This is going to be a journey together, nurturing that plant, 1362 01:08:14,542 --> 01:08:20,167 watering it, paying attention to it, 1363 01:08:20,208 --> 01:08:25,208 so that there can be life in your home. 1364 01:08:29,708 --> 01:08:32,125 I need you to do this. 1365 01:08:33,417 --> 01:08:36,000 I need you to do this. 1366 01:08:36,042 --> 01:08:38,375 And some of you are resistant because you'll say, 1367 01:08:38,458 --> 01:08:42,292 "This is going to be very dark." 1368 01:08:42,333 --> 01:08:44,875 It already is very dark and you're just inviting 1369 01:08:44,958 --> 01:08:49,667 your spouse into reality. 1370 01:08:49,750 --> 01:08:52,875 And as you walk through the darkness, 1371 01:08:52,958 --> 01:08:55,958 there's the possibility of light on the other side 1372 01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:59,667 by the grace of God. 1373 01:08:59,708 --> 01:09:03,375 I'm going to let you sit in that for a moment. 1374 01:09:03,458 --> 01:09:05,458 We're going to collect our tithes and offerings. 1375 01:09:05,500 --> 01:09:07,792 In a moment we're going to partake of Communion 1376 01:09:07,833 --> 01:09:10,792 where we remember Jesus' broken body and shed blood. 1377 01:09:10,833 --> 01:09:13,167 Let me say this though, hear me on this, 1378 01:09:13,250 --> 01:09:16,750 can I read you a story of hope, as we collect our offering? 1379 01:09:16,833 --> 01:09:19,958 Can I read you a story of hope as we prepare for Communion? 1380 01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,375 John chapter 8, "Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 1381 01:09:22,458 --> 01:09:24,875 "Early in the morning he came again to the temple. 1382 01:09:24,958 --> 01:09:28,083 "All the people came to him, and sat down and he taught them. 1383 01:09:28,167 --> 01:09:29,583 "And the scribes and the Pharisees, 1384 01:09:29,667 --> 01:09:31,000 the religious folks, 1385 01:09:31,042 --> 01:09:33,000 brought a woman who had been caught in"-- 1386 01:09:33,042 --> 01:09:34,500 You know the story, "Adultery." 1387 01:09:34,542 --> 01:09:37,083 Guilty or innocent, this woman of adultery? 1388 01:09:37,167 --> 01:09:38,667 Guilty. 1389 01:09:38,708 --> 01:09:40,292 Caught. 1390 01:09:40,333 --> 01:09:42,875 "'Now in the Law of Moses we are commanded to stone 1391 01:09:42,958 --> 01:09:44,583 "such a women,' they said. 1392 01:09:44,667 --> 01:09:46,000 So what do you say?" 1393 01:09:46,042 --> 01:09:49,292 How many of you today are in the position of this woman? 1394 01:09:49,333 --> 01:09:53,875 Caught by God in the act of adultery right now 1395 01:09:53,958 --> 01:09:58,542 you're before Jesus, guilty? 1396 01:09:58,625 --> 01:10:00,250 "'So what do you say?' they asked. 1397 01:10:00,333 --> 01:10:02,583 "This is what they said to test him, 1398 01:10:02,667 --> 01:10:05,083 "that they might have some charges to bring against him. 1399 01:10:05,167 --> 01:10:07,708 Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground." 1400 01:10:07,792 --> 01:10:09,125 We know not what. 1401 01:10:09,167 --> 01:10:11,000 "And as they continued to ask him, 1402 01:10:11,042 --> 01:10:14,167 "he stood up and said to them, 'Let him who is without sin 1403 01:10:14,250 --> 01:10:16,833 "'among you be the first to throw a stone at her.' 1404 01:10:16,875 --> 01:10:19,500 "And he bent down once more and wrote on the ground. 1405 01:10:19,583 --> 01:10:22,500 "And when they heard it, they all went away one by one, 1406 01:10:22,583 --> 01:10:25,208 "beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with 1407 01:10:25,292 --> 01:10:26,625 the woman standing before him." 1408 01:10:26,667 --> 01:10:29,625 True or false, Jesus was the only one who had a right 1409 01:10:29,667 --> 01:10:32,833 to pick up a rock and to kill this woman. True or false? 1410 01:10:32,875 --> 01:10:34,208 True. 1411 01:10:34,292 --> 01:10:36,625 He's the only one who didn't have hand adultery 1412 01:10:36,667 --> 01:10:38,833 or heart adultery. 1413 01:10:38,875 --> 01:10:43,000 He's the only one who's sinless and with clean hands. 1414 01:10:43,083 --> 01:10:45,708 Jesus stood up--can you imagine this moment? 1415 01:10:45,792 --> 01:10:47,208 How many of you right now, 1416 01:10:47,292 --> 01:10:49,500 you feel like Jesus is standing over you? 1417 01:10:49,542 --> 01:10:52,917 "I'm a guilty adulterer, Jesus is standing over me. 1418 01:10:53,000 --> 01:10:57,625 He has every right to kill me." 1419 01:10:57,667 --> 01:11:01,667 "And he said to her, 'Woman, where are they? 1420 01:11:01,750 --> 01:11:03,208 "'No has one condemned you?' 1421 01:11:03,292 --> 01:11:04,708 "She said, 'No one, Lord.' 1422 01:11:04,792 --> 01:11:08,667 And Jesus said"-- hear this, adulterer, 1423 01:11:08,750 --> 01:11:11,917 "'Neither do I condemn you; 1424 01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:18,375 but go, and sin no more.'" 1425 01:11:20,375 --> 01:11:23,500 And then Jesus goes to the cross and he died 1426 01:11:23,542 --> 01:11:25,917 for this woman's adultery. 1427 01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:30,125 And Jesus went to the cross and he died for your hand adultery 1428 01:11:30,167 --> 01:11:33,417 and your heart adultery, 1429 01:11:33,500 --> 01:11:35,500 and he paid the penalty of death 1430 01:11:35,583 --> 01:11:41,500 so that we could receive life, and he commands us to go 1431 01:11:41,542 --> 01:11:45,625 and sin no more. 1432 01:11:45,667 --> 01:11:48,500 I'm going to give you a word from your lead pastor 1433 01:11:48,583 --> 01:11:50,625 and then as you partake of Communion, 1434 01:11:50,667 --> 01:11:53,000 remember that Jesus is the one who had 1435 01:11:53,042 --> 01:11:55,208 the right to condemn you and instead, 1436 01:11:55,292 --> 01:11:58,833 he died in your place to save you. 1437 01:12:02,125 --> 01:12:05,042 Each year, over 10 million Mars Hill church sermons 1438 01:12:05,125 --> 01:12:08,167 are downloaded worldwide for free. 1439 01:12:08,208 --> 01:12:10,750 This ministry is generously supported 1440 01:12:10,833 --> 01:12:13,375 by Mars Hill church members and listeners like you. 1441 01:12:13,458 --> 01:12:16,958 If you'd like to support our efforts to preach Jesus to the world, 1442 01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:19,958 Please consider making a tax-deductible donation 1443 01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:22,833 by visiting marshill.com/give.