This set of posts comes from Pastor Mark Driscoll and his wife Grace. The sermon series The Peasant Princess brought up dozens of questions that they felt they should respond to. The result is this blog series: Christian Sex: Frank Answers to Honest Questions.
Answer:
- Female discomfort (i.e., dryness; try using a water-based lubricant like Astroglide)
- Female tenseness/fears
- Nonoxynol-9 is a spermicide that can cause infections in women and is common in condoms and some lubricants
- Adultery, actual or mental (i.e., pornography)
- An overall bad marriage with a lack of intimacy apart from sex
- Grooming (e.g., male nails, beard, breath)
- Premature ejaculation (try Kegel exercises)
- Previous sexual abuse (get help)
- Previous promiscuity
- Silent wives
- Impatient husbands
- Women who nag their husband, flirt with other men, or are otherwise a cancer like those mentioned in Proverbs
- Harsh husbands (1 Pet. 3:7)
- Feeling used because you are not being enjoyed/tended to outside of the bed
The key is to lovingly and graciously discuss with your spouse what is prohibiting enjoyment and make the necessary changes to settle for nothing less than God's best for your lovemaking pleasure. Be willing to mutually confess if you are corrected, not just point fingers. Both people need to own their sins.
