Pictured above, from right: Greg Qualls, Pastor Dave Bruskas holding Greg’s son Mason Lee David Qualls, Kara Bruskas, and Shannon Qualls
When Greg Qualls moved with his wife to Albuquerque eight years ago, he wasn’t planning to stay very long. The young couple had just read Blue Like Jazz and was pretty sure they were on their way to Portland to find a church and do ministry.
Fortunately for Greg and his family, that never happened.
A spiritual father
The Qualls sought out a church for what they expected to be their brief stay in Albuquerque. They tried City on a Hill and felt instantly at home. Little did they know, the pastor of that church, Dave Bruskas, would soon change their lives.
“He talks in his book about being a spiritual father,” said Greg. “I would put him in that category. He kind of took me under his wing.”
Greg and his wife had left their previous church under less than great circumstances and were still dealing with some of the fallout. Pastor Dave walked them through it, loved on them, and gave Greg opportunities to serve and teach at City on a Hill. Greg eventually went through the process of becoming a pastor there and, throughout the entire process, learned how to do life from Pastor Dave.
“My dad is in and out of my life, but he’s never been my spiritual father,” said Greg. “Pastor Dave has always been there to do that for me. I can call him, reach out to him, and he’s going to love and pour in to me.”
“His consistency is what changes you forever, not a big moment. I don’t know where I’d be today without him.”
“He’s so encouraging. He sees potential in guys that don’t see it in themselves. Where a lot of people might give up on somebody, he never does. You see that he’s encouraging, loves on guys, sees that potential. Through that you see men became the men they never thought they could be.”
A spiritual son
There wasn’t a sudden light bulb moment. Pastor Dave just walked with Greg through the regular stuff of everyday life. As Greg put it, he was constantly changing his life in minor ways that added up to a major way.
“I had been at City on a Hill maybe for a month or two and he was asking me to preach. Most pastors aren’t willing to give their pulpit up for anybody and he was willing to take a chance on a young guy like me.”
Another time, Pastor Dave sat Greg down, sternly warned him that he was making the church a mistress, and told him that he needed to love his wife. At other times he gave him insights about being a father or providing for his family by carving out a career.
“His consistency is what changes you forever,” said Greg, “not a big moment. I don’t know where I’d be today without him.”
“Everything he put in that book is stuff that I’ve seen him say or do over the time that I’ve known him.”
In everything, Pastor Dave pointed Greg to Jesus. He taught him how correct theology tells you how to do life, that Jesus and the Bible aren’t just thoughts or ideas but that they actually shape your life. Pastor Dave led by example, showing Greg how to love Jesus on a daily basis.
“I don’t think I’d be the dad that I am today without him,” said Greg. “My middle son—his middle name is after Pastor Dave.”
Passing on the legacy
When Pastor Dave moved to Seattle, it marked the end of an era, and it was tough.
“Like any real father, they’ve got to trust their kids and send them off.”
Of course, it’s a little weird, added Greg, since usually it’s the son that leaves home and this time it’s the father. Either way, “it was really tough but amazing to see what he’s done by being an executive elder at Mars Hill.”
“It’s a book full of integrity.”
Greg is still in Albuquerque, still at the same church (now Mars Hill Albuquerque), and serves as a deacon in the media and communications department. He hears other guys talk about the impact Pastor Dave has on their lives, which he said has been awesome.
When Dear Son was released, Greg devoured it within hours.
“It’s amazing. Everything he put in that book is stuff that I’ve seen him say or do over the time that I’ve known him.”
Nothing about the book is theoretical, he added. It came from a guy who’s actually lived out for years exactly what he wrote.
“It was just like, page after page, being reminded of a man and what he’s done in my life. It’s a book full of integrity.”
Pastor Dave Bruskas has completed his first book, a heartfelt series of letters to the son he knew only briefly. Sonless, Pastor Dave has been blessed with opportunities to serve as a father to the fatherless. This excerpt is taken from chapter one of Dear Son: A Father’s Advice on Being a Man.
