“In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.” Ephesians 1:4–6
We first met our kids at Starbucks. I was drinking a vanilla latte the first time I laid eyes on the faces of our babies. This may seem strange, particularly if you’re a parent who likely saw your child for the first time in a delivery room or in the bedroom of your home. That was not the case for my husband, Cliff, and me.
Our daughter, who was nearly three at the time, came bounding through the door, then timidly approached us as the social worker introduced us to their current caregivers. By the end of the conversation, she had climbed up on my lap, but remained skeptical of my husband. Our son, who was an infant, initially slept in his car seat, unaware of what was taking place, but gradually woke up and willingly sat in my husband’s lap. Our first picture together as a family captured this moment, a moment we never could have envisioned.
A hope deferred
As far as modern medicine is concerned, the likelihood of my husband and me conceiving children naturally is quite low, a less than 2% chance. Initially, this was devastating. We were unsure as to what this meant for our family. We wanted to be parents, but it seemed as if our deep desire would not be met. In response we prayed, grieved, sought counsel, scoured Scripture, considered medical options, and read books on adoption, infertility, etc.
Fellowship in adoption
Ultimately, God used a family in our Community Group to encourage us toward adoption. They arrived for the first time one week when we were giving an update on what we had learned from the doctors, as well as what we had learned from an adoption information night. (We later realized that our daughter had been born the same month we attended the adoption information night.) The couple shared that they had adopted their daughter from South Africa, and were praying for other couples with whom to walk through the adoption process.
Over time, we saw their example of a family formed through adoption and were encouraged and amazed at the beautiful picture of the gospel it represented: Parents choosing a child they did not know. Choosing to love her. Choosing to provide, sacrifice, and endure for her.
Walking in his call
God’s call for us became clear. Over the course of three years, we filled out endless piles of paperwork, participated in a multitude of interviews, experienced several “near misses” of potential kids in need of adoption, and ultimately decided to pursue adoption through foster care—the very thing I vowed we’d never do because of the additional fear and uncertainty of having children placed in our home who could then be reunited with their birthparents.
But through our struggles with processes, disappointments, and fears, God has made it clear that his timing and his ways are perfect.
Trust amid uncertainty
Currently, our daughter is four and our son is almost two. They’ve lived with us for a little more than a year, and we pray we will be able to adopt them before the end of 2013. There are many uncertainties with the situation and there are no guarantees things will ultimately end in adoption.
But this uncertainty doesn’t change our hearts toward these two kids. We love them. We have loved them since before we knew their names, saw their faces, or snuggled them close. We loved them before they called us “Mommy” and “Daddy,” trusted their hands in ours, responded to our love, affection, correction, and care.
This is only possible because we trust and have seen that God loves us, that he loves them even more than we do, and that in his goodness he will work this situation out for his glory. It’s in places like Ephesians 1:5 where we see God’s glory on display through adoption: He loved us first. He provided for us first. He went first at a great cost to himself—his own Son, Jesus.
Twice adopted
It’s through this example and our experience that we’ve come to learn how truly amazing God is, that he can be trusted, and that even in extremely challenging circumstances, he is present. In turn we’ve had many opportunities to encourage our kids—particularly our daughter—to trust in Jesus, reminding them that he is always there, which brings a great comfort and joy to them and us.
Our prayer is that in the midst of our adoption of these kids, they would more clearly understand God’s adoption of his people. I hope for the day I can explain to my children how amazing it is that they’ve been adopted twice: once by my husband and me, and once (but most importantly) by our good and faithful heavenly Father.
