“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12
Introduction
Parents are one of the strongest influences in a person’s life—for good or for ill. It is no wonder that they can occupy the place of God in children’s hearts—whether seeking their approval or pushing them away in bitterness and pain. Children are privy to their parents’ sins, bearing their scars for a lifetime. They may either idolize their parents, allowing their influence to become an identity, or demonize them, based on a history of sorrow and hurt. Or, as is common in Western culture, they may selfishly dismiss the important contributions parents make, minimizing even their role in bringing children into the world.
The Ten Commandments, summed up by Jesus in Matthew 22:37–40, speak of loving God with all our heart and loving our neighbors as ourselves. Our parents are our first “neighbors,” and we cannot say we love our neighbor if we do not honor our parents.
God commands all to honor their parents in the fifth commandment. What is honor, and how does one obey this command, knowing that parents and those in authority aren’t perfect?
Observation
Read Colossians 3:18–4:1
- This passage encourages submission to authorities in different contexts. What are they?
- What is the motivation for children to honor their parents?
- How is the slave-master relationship, mentioned in 3:22–4:1, similar to the fifth commandment in their ultimate goal?
Interpretation
Honor, as it pertains to honoring those in authority, comes from the Hebrew word kabbad, which means to be weighty or heavy. Honor is to treat others with respect, regardless of whether or not they deserve it, understanding the weight their position demands. The opposite of honor in Hebrew is nabil, which means to make light of or to curse.
Let’s examine how Jesus carried out the “weight” of this command.
- Jesus honored his Father in heaven. In his darkest hour, what was his response to the Father’s will? (See Lk. 22:41–42.) How did Jesus seek to please the Father?
- How did Jesus honor his earthly parents? (See Lk. 2:41–52.) Why did he do it?
- In Philippians 2:5–11, we see that Jesus, though fully God, lived a life of humility. What is humility, and how does it relate to honoring God and others?
Application
Jesus lived a perfect life of obedience and honor. He fulfilled the ultimate requirement of the Ten Commandments in our place, and he incurred God’s wrath for our failure to do so. Because Jesus took our sins of dishonor, selfishness, and pride upon himself (2 Cor. 5:21), we are now free to walk in grace, understanding our new identity, or who we are apart from our earthly parents, as those deeply loved by our Father in heaven.
In Christ, we are entrusting ourselves to the most trustworthy authority in the universe. With Christ, by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can learn to honor our parents, loving our first neighbors as ourselves. Through Christ, we can honor our parents, not so that God will love us and approve of us—he already does—but because we are free to love and forgive them as he has loved and forgiven us. And because of Christ, our lives are testimonies of his faithfulness, of turning darkness into light and rescuing his own from the power of Satan to God. We are now living in the gospel, lavished with grace.
- As sinners, honoring and obeying is inevitably difficult. It is even more so if you believe it is devoid of purpose. What is the truth about the Father’s hand in your life? Amid any pain, what helps you to trust that God is good and will work all things for good as he has promised (Rom. 8:28)? What keeps you from having that trust?
- The gospel of Jesus enables parents to love their children well and to live worthy of their child’s honor. When have you seen the gospel change the way you respond to your children? What are some things we can do to allow the gospel to penetrate deeper and let it improve the way we treat them?
- How does honoring imperfect parents reflect the love God has for us? If your parents were absent or have sinned grievously against you, how does God say he will meet you? (See Ps. 68:5; 27:10.) When have you seen the body of Christ help meet that need?
Take some time this week to seek the Holy Spirit for his leading in your relationship with your parent(s), remembering that, above all, our lives are lived for the glory of God. What would give him the most glory in your response to your parent(s)? Do you need to forgive, repenting of anger and bitterness? How should you express your gratitude to them for their sacrifice? Do you need to pray for them? Do you need to seek counseling for the wrongs they’ve done which you’ve haven’t been able to face? By the power of the Holy Spirit, Jesus will work in and through you as you submit your will to the will of your Father in heaven.
This devotion is adapted from the Ten Commandments Study Guide.
