Happy Mother’s Day, Mars Hill. In honor of mothers everywhere and in light of the recent publication of Pastor Dave Bruskas’ book, Dear Son, we asked his wife, Kara, to take up her pen and write a letter of her own. This is a letter from Kara to the four daughters she and her husband have had the honor to raise. It’s for them, and for you, whether you’re a daughter, a mother, or both.
Dear daughters,
I have so many thoughts as I begin this letter. I am grateful to have the joy and gift of being the mother to each of you young ladies. Your personalities and characters are each as different as the colors of a beautiful rainbow. Together, they display ribbons of color that come together to make something of such magnificence in my life. They have been used by the Father to craft and shape a deeper love for Jesus and a sweeter understanding of his love for me. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 2:15, “Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.” I understand that saved refers to sanctified which means changed which is where each of your lives has come into play.
Blessings upon blessings have come to me as I have seen how each of you have been used by God to change me into the woman I am today. I am not saying it has all been rainbows and roses—actually thunderstorms and tumbleweeds as well—but, truth be told, each event and attitude have been tools of my Jesus to grow me in faith, love, and holiness.
First, to be a woman under Jesus’ love means we are adopted into God’s family. 2 Corinthians 6:18 says, “‘I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.’”
To be a woman under Jesus’ love means we are adopted into God’s family.
My identity is loved daughter of the King, Jesus. It is when I rest in this core truth that I am no longer a slave to the sin of seeking love and affirmation from others, but wholly lean into the love and affirmation of my heavenly father. It has been crucial to recognize that the actions, affections, or inclinations of you girls does not determine God’s love for me, nor my identity in him. Who loves me and why he loves me and how he loves me changes everything about how I can love. My worth, validity, and joy are ultimately because I am a loved daughter of Jesus. This has been a change that has and will take time, but God’s promise is that it will happen.
Next, you girls have challenged my faith. God is faithful, not Kara. I seem to mix the two and create a system where my faith is based on my efforts rather than his. 2 Timothy 2:11–13 says, “The saying is trustworthy, for: If we have died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him; if we deny him, he also will deny us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself.”
It is when I do not lean into Christ’s faithfulness for my life that I love and parent out of fear and control. You all are living and walking testaments to this behavior and yet, even better, you all are living testaments that love covers a multitude of sins. I was not always trusting in God to be good, sovereign, and wise. I would worry and fret over every decision, good or bad, that was made. I see now that God does and will change you and that eternal change is the ultimate goal. Don’t get me wrong, I know I had to set the rules and make the consequences for breaking the rules but the heart behind it all is that God is ultimately in control. Nothing is done without him knowing it. I must never forget that he hears, he sees, and he acts. In the power of his Spirit, I can lean into and walk in his faithfulness. The passage from Proverbs 3:5–6 is crucial: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
My identity is loved daughter of the King, Jesus.
Lastly, I began to recognize how I did not truly understand grace and was living out a “do good, try harder” way of life. The Lord pursued me to reveal that my efforts were meaningless and taught me to cling to his great and perfect work on the cross for my righteousness. If you all were going to understand grace, I needed to understand grace. This meant that I was not going to be the perfect mom. Instead, I would seek forgiveness when I was unkind. I would recognize my limitations were not failures. I would pray that together the Lord would lead us to what his best was for you. I would recognize that he is wise and in humility yield to his counsel and his plan.
So, dear sweet Lisa, Lauren, Jenn, and Jillian, God has blessed me with your precious lives. My efforts in loving each of you have been a little precarious at times. In leaning into his faithfulness, love, and holiness, however, I have been changed by him while being changed for you. Thanks for being tools in the hands of Jesus for his glory and my joy.
Remember to love Jesus first and best,
Momma
