Alisa grew up with a distant American father and a shy Japanese mother. Religion wasn’t discussed much in her home and she struggled with loneliness from a young age. She was the quiet girl in high school and desperately wanted to make more friends. Graduation came as a relief as she looked forward to attending college at the University of Washington. Surely college would be much better and she would make tons of friends in an atmosphere where everyone was new and cliques didn’t exist. But college wasn’t better. In fact, it was worse.
“I pictured sleeping in and partying, making lots of new friends, just being independent and doing whatever I wanted. I figured if I joined a sorority, I’d have automatic friends. I’d have 90 girls to share life with. I did the sorority rush process and didn’t get in to any of the houses. They all rejected me. That really tore me apart.”
Since she didn’t get into a sorority, she decided to continue living with her parents in Bellevue and commute to class everyday. Not being involved in dorm life or any other activities made it even harder to make friends. During her second quarter at school she became so depressed that she asked her parents if she could move into an apartment closer to school.
Alisa was desperate to find a place so she scoured Craigslist and emailed anyone that sounded reasonable. One house in particular advertised as a “Christian house.” She told them, “My dad is Catholic. I’m friends with Mormons and I’ve been around Christians. I’d love an interview.” They liked Alisa and she joined the house in November. That one move would be the undoing of life as she knew it.
Growing up lonely
Alisa had a rebellious side growing up. She drank in high school to try to fit in.
“I never felt accepted in school and I think that led me to do a lot of things I shouldn’t have. I used to cut my wrists because I was so unhappy with my life. I did whatever I could to feel something. That was my way of letting frustration and anger out.
“I would look at social media and see everyone posting pictures of how much fun they were having. My family was distant and I didn’t have anybody to talk to. I spent a lot of time on Netflix and I know it sounds cliché but I would ask, ‘What’s my purpose? What am I doing with my life? Nobody knows my name. Nobody knows what I’ve done.’
“I would shut off my emotions so I wouldn’t feel anything and at that point, I didn’t know what else to do. I was so frustrated and angry with myself that the only way I could take out my frustration was on my own body because I was so unhappy. I thought I deserved to be loved but wasn’t.”
She also coped with her pain by taking Tylenol and Ibuprofen, handfuls of about 20 at a time.
“I had stomach problems that were a separate health issue, so taking that many pills would hurt me more than a normal person. Feeling the pain in my stomach throughout the day brought me peace, I guess. Instead of feeling pain because I was rejected or had no friends, I could feel pain because I had swallowed 20 pills the night before.”
New apartment, new friends
Alisa had no prior background with Christianity when she moved into the “Christian house” she found on Craigslist.
“I didn’t know any religion at all. The first time I was exposed to Jesus was in middle school when acquaintances at school talked about youth group or church. I had no clue what it was. I didn’t know what it meant to get together on Sunday. I never questioned it.” Her Catholic dad had rarely talked about his religious upbringing.
One of her new roommates had gone to Mars Hill Church a couple of times when she first moved to Seattle. After hearing how lonely Alisa was, she invited her to check out Mars Hill U-District. Alisa doesn’t remember what the sermon was about the first time she went, but she was struck with the atmosphere and feel of the church.
“Everyone was welcoming,” she says. “It really hit home how loving and caring everybody was. That night I remember [my roommate and I] bawled our eyes out and talked for hours.”
Her roommate eventually stopped attending, which led Alisa to stop as well, but in April of 2013 a girl named Jessy moved in to their house. Jessy served at Mars Hill U-District and played in a worship band called Sainthood. She invited Alisa to church with the promise, “I’ll be there all day. Alisa, come whenever you want and I will stick by your side the whole time. I really want you to come.”
Following Jessy
Alisa rarely missed a Sunday of church with Jessy. Late at night, Jessy sat up answering her questions.
Alisa (left) and Jessy (right)
“She explained Jesus’ story and how he died for me and would save me. She explained everything in so much detail and I started to understand Jesus. Jessy has been great. She has been an amazing influence in my life. I see her as God’s messenger. She’s the one that introduced me to Jesus and bought me my first Bible. I’m so thankful she obeyed God in inviting me, and being courageous, loving, caring, and gentle.
As Jessy taught Alisa more and more, she also encouraged her to pray to God, promising that he was there. And then she would ask Alisa if she heard God speaking to her.
“At first it was really awkward and strange for me, but eventually I started hearing God’s voice and saw where God was working in my life. That was the end of May and when I started my relationship with Jesus.”
A new community
Alisa was introduced to many of Jessy’s friends and made lots of friends on her own as well. About that time, it hit home for Alisa that she was no longer alone.
“There is this huge church community that will love me no matter what, regardless of what I’ve done or mistakes I’ll make in the future.”
Alisa says she’s found the church community to be unconditional.
“Everyone strives to love each other the way Jesus loves them. It’s so much easier to be vulnerable and open. I don’t have to hide behind a mask; I can admit my flaws and problems. There’s a lot of acceptance and love. I am loved way more than I realize. I can see that now.
“I now understand why so many people go to church. Not necessarily because the sermons are good or church makes them feel better, but the fact is, there is this man who came to earth and died for our sins. I’m very excited about my walk with Jesus and where it’s going to take me. I know Jesus accepts me and loves me, and he wants to help me. He wants me to change and grow to become a stronger woman. That’s what I see in his gospel. No matter what people say or what they think of me, God loves me. God is there for me, and God will never leave my side.”
A new life
Jesus has saved Alisa from loneliness. He’s saved her from causing herself pain to feel something. He’s saved her from a life of depression. But more importantly, Jesus has saved her from her sin, something she could never have done on her own. It’s inspired her to want to live for him.
“I want to grow more in Christ; I want to learn more, I want to read the Bible. Mars Hill Church is my home, everyone here is my family, and I want to enlarge my family by bringing new people to church. That’s something I’m really passionate about—discipleship and getting people to where I am now, because I know how hard it is to live without God.”
Alisa gets baptized at Mars Hill U-District by Pastor Drew Hensley and Jessy.
If you have a story you would like to share with the church, please submit it here. We love to hear how God is revealing himself through his people.
