Relationships.
Our most important relationship is with God. We have to decide if we will submit, trust, and worship the one true God. Malachi confronts his audience with the stark reality that we have a heavenly Father whom we should not reject or dismiss. Our lives must first testify to the truth that we are his creatures. We must worship and bring praise and glory—not grief and profanity—to our Creator.
Pastor Mark addressed how Malachi has wisdom for both single people wanting to marry well, and for those who have gone through divorce or might be wrestling with it right now.
Singles
Over the years I have seen many people stay in abusive dating relationships because there was only one thing worse to them: being alone. I remember begging and pleading with a young lady to break up with her abusive boyfriend and her response still haunts me: “The only thing worse than being with him is the thought of being without him.” There can be this thought in the back of our minds that we must settle, sin, suffer, or strive because God can’t be trusted with this incredibly deep need and desire we have for a mate.
Yet this is where we get to the real core of the issue: do you trust God and his goodness with the deepest matters and desires of your heart? Don’t run from this question or quickly bounce off it.
At the root we must be honest enough to admit and see that all our responses to singleness demonstrate who we love the most, trust the most, and want the most. If that is, by God’s grace, Jesus, we will trust him to provide—even when it is not in the ways we would first want or expect (Phil. 4:19).
Divorce
We live in a time where marriage is often seen as a contract rather than a covenant. And yet while it maybe easy to get a divorce in our society the consequences are anything but. Anyone who has gotten divorced or been in a family that has experienced divorce (like myself) knows it is incredibly hard and gut-wrenching. I believe that the reason God hates divorce is because of how devastating it is. It is the breaking of what God has joined together.
Pastor Mark covered exactly what the Bible has to say about divorce and how Christians should think through such an incredibly difficult topic.
Biblical divorce cases
- Death (Rom. 7:2–4; 1 Cor. 7:39)
- Adultery (Deut. 22:22; Matt. 5:32)
- Sexual immorality (Matt. 5:32; 19:9)
- Abandonment (1 Cor. 7:10–24)
- Treachery (Mal. 2:14–16)
- Hardness of heart (Matt. 19:8; Mark 10:5)
Pastor Mark also spoke about how we should approach the decision if we feel any of the six situations above apply to us. Notice that all of these involve the need for a patient community that knows and loves you well.
- You do not have to divorce even if you have grounds to.
- You cannot make this decision in isolation.
- You cannot make this decision in haste.
- You cannot make this decision in lust.
Who we marry will shape much of the legacy we leave. The bigger the decision you make in life the more deliberate you should be in making it. Submit decisions like these to others around you who are godly and wise. Those who make decisions about who they will marry and whether they will get divorced in isolation tend to make less prudent decisions and can end up regretting their choices. Realize that letting others who are wise and godly speak into your life isn’t about others “trying to tell you what to do.” It’s about listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit through the community of believers he has graced you with. This wise counsel on such life-changing decisions is one of the many incredible benefits and blessings of being in community.
Here are some questions to think through regarding how you can more specifically honor God with your life:
- What is your family story with marriage? How has your parents’ marriage impacted you? Are there still things about their relationship that are impacting you now and that you need to be honest about?
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Marriage—there is no other relationship you will have with another person that will have a bigger impact in your life than who you marry.
- If you’re single, are you choosing wisely and honoring God and the legacy he wants for you with who you are or will date?
- If you’re married, is there tension in your marriage and where has the tension been? How has Jesus redeemed—or needs to redeem—that in order to keep your covenant strong?
Pastor Ryan Kearns is the Director of Community Groups for Mars Hill Church. Each week, he writes a post about the sermon to aid discussion in your Community Group. This is part four from the Malachi series. Be sure to check out parts one, two, and three.
